Jump to content

New start Chris


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 60
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Get a vasectomy, I did when I was 37 and have never regretted it - like me, if you want kids there are plenty around without mothers or fathers, you can always adopt - I adopted 2 beautiful kids, brother & sister five years ago, they are 9 & 10.....I am 69......

 

You are talking about kids, if it is she that is doing most of the talking, then its an anchor baby, if its you??  Take my advice above.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Family comes first with most Thais. There are not many Thai women who would not expect a farang to provide for either them or their family. 4000 - 6000 baht is  a fairly modest upkeep. It may escalate later if your GF wants a home to live in. Start running if she wants a 10 million baht house.

Having children is a personal decision. I would defer that until you've established trust over a couple of years.

 

 

actually it is a conduit, first comes mr farang , for without him there would not be money to funnel to relatives. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Shiver said:

My story was not that different to yours when I first got into my current relationship.  I don't want to make public what happened, except to say it wasn't infidelity, extortion, family being controlling or any of that stuff.

 

We're still together, and after correcting some misalignments I can honestly say after 9 years she's the best thing in relationships that's ever happened to me, and I've had some good ones.

 

I would suggest assess the family first, as that is what will give her the nature/nurture bias.  They can have enormous control over them, implied or explicit.  If they are genuine then you're most of the way home (assuming you're a decent person also).

What I did was test for gold digging tendencies.  Many different ways, and whether she's naturally that way or I've taught her, I don't know, perhaps a bit of both, but the family (when they were alive) were grateful for 5K a month (she had 20K, then zero but open access to cash, and some other variants as I was learning - these days I give her zero monthly, but make sure she has a chunk in the bank, as it gives her a feeling of security and independence, but interestingly makes her extremely frugal when it's her own money.  That could be a 'pro tip' as it'll sort the women from the kids, and you get to fail early before investing heart/mind and of course cash) ...as it was more than any other offspring could offer the grandparents, and the grandparents used it to pay for their funerals (200K each I think), as they didn't want to be a burden.  I covered everything asked of me, but that everything was pretty modest to be honest the way it turned out.

I honestly believe that if we were to break up, she would stay alone for the rest of her life, and is closer to her dogs than she is obligated to family siblings.  Don't want to make her sound like some weird 'cat lady', she's in demand, sociable, my friends adore her for the most part (exceptions being those that are aligned with me, so if she's good for me then they're happy, others would be the other way around ???? ).

I know I'm just talking me, me, me, but perhaps you can see a version of your situation in that.

 

Yes it does exist (genuine people in a good relationship).  Language and culture I don't mess with too mut, we just each create our boundaries and don't over step.  So it's a fairly shallow relationship in some ways, and concrete in others, but if you're not needy but want teamwork, you can hit the jackpot quite a lot easier than expected.  Better to stay away from tourist traps and rentable fun, but even there I've seen people have success stories.  So long as you're honest with yourself, it kind of jolts everything else in your domain into alignment and to be honest with you too.  If it works better for them when being selfish means it is also in alignment with the group success as well, that disincentivises the "51% attack".

 

Wise words Shiver. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, SuperTed said:

Dear Thatland 2018 Paul - I have carefully read your posts on the current topic.

After thorough consideration, and without going into the details as to Why, I would like to strongly urge you not to reproduce. 

"I would like to strongly urge you not to reproduce"..... If only there was a way to go back and time to convince your father of the same thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"I would like to strongly urge you not to reproduce"..... If only there was a way to go back and time to convince your father of the same thing.
Why? I don't put up troll posts, and discourage those who do.

Is there some sort of point system on TV? Is that why people put these stories up? Or do they just enjoy getting others to post bits of their life in response to their nonsense.

Do we really believe OP is a British citizen?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, SuperTed said:

Why? I don't put up troll posts, and discourage those who do.

Is there some sort of point system on TV? Is that why people put these stories up? Or do they just enjoy getting others to post bits of their life in response to their nonsense.

Do we really believe OP is a British citizen?

It's called communication Teddy. If you don't want to read the stories then why are you?  

 

People ask questions for a legit reason. Again, it's called communication. Have a marvelous day and stop reading all the "stories" that you find so nonsensical. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A kid is a perfect way to trap you in for a long time.$$$$ I would get snipped. Why do you need a kid or kids to be with her. She already has one that will drain you for the rest of your life. If she does not work to support her parents I would ask her why she can not work. Use the same common sense you would use in your own country and not listen or follow what she says you have to do. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

 There are not many Thai women who would not expect a farang to provide for either them or their family.

That's a pretty sad statement. Sad because the author seems to have only experience with certain type of Thai women for whom this is true: bar girls, those with a low education, etc. There are plenty of Thai women who want to support their parents themselves and have the ability to do so.

Get a TGF with a university degree and a proper job and you may not need to pay for your girlfriend on a monthly basis. But then, many foreigners who come to Thailand don't have university degree and a proper job themselves...     

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, TonyFernandez said:

That's a pretty sad statement. Sad because the author seems to have only experience with certain type of Thai women for whom this is true: bar girls, those with a low education, etc. There are plenty of Thai women who want to support their parents themselves and have the ability to do so.

Get a TGF with a university degree and a proper job and you may not need to pay for your girlfriend on a monthly basis. But then, many foreigners who come to Thailand don't have university degree and a proper job themselves...     

"many foreigners who come to Thailand don't have university degree and a proper job themselves...'

 

Indeed Tony. Add in the lack of class many show, not assimilating to Thai culture but rather demanding things the way they were "back home", the inability to treat a lady like a lady, not having proper hygiene, the inability to dress appropriately, etc. Many undoubtedly will only find a mate with a bargirl albeit it for a limited time.   

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

 

 

18 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

Oh let’s only let in ferangs with University Degrees............that’s why most are here to get away from that kind of pompous crap. Get a grip. 

Letting Farangs in only if they had a degree wasn't implied Kad. What was implied was farangs coming to Thailand who had the proper education (not meaning degree but rather a decent amount of intelligence), the ability to dress properly, have a bit of class towards women, etc instead of a lot of scum that arrives with little of the things previously mentioned and just expecting all women to be available to them. Just like anywhere in the world there are a ton of classy, proper, hard working professional women here that will have nothing to do with those that don't meet their standards. Simple as that. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, HuskerDo said:

 

Letting Farangs in only if they had a degree wasn't implied Kad. What was implied was farangs coming to Thailand who had the proper education (not meaning degree but rather a decent amount of intelligence), the ability to dress properly, have a bit of class towards women, etc instead of a lot of scum that arrives with little of the things previously mentioned and just expecting all women to be available to them. Just like anywhere in the world there are a ton of classy, proper, hard working professional women here that will have nothing to do with those that don't meet their standards. Simple as that. 

Get your head out of your backside. 

Who are you to judge who is and who hasn’t got intelligence.,what is or isn’t dressing properly or call them scum. 

Get over yourself. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

Get your head out of your backside. 

Who are you to judge who is and who hasn’t got intelligence.,what is or isn’t dressing properly or call them scum. 

Get over yourself. 

Hey THANKS!! I wasn't sure why it got so dark so quickly but thanks to your suggestion it is now light again. ????

 

Seriously tho, I'm not judging who has intelligence but rather making a point that any woman who is educated will expect a similar amount of intelligence in a mate. There are exceptions of course. Dressing poorly means you wearing a stinky t-shirt and wrinkled shorts on a date while she is dressed well. Scum... ah yes scum.... that would be the sex-pats that come to Thailand and give all farangs a bad name. They think they can act like they did back home and are oblivious to Thai culture. The losers that think all Thai women can be treated like the unfortunate bargirls. Yes, I would label them as scum. Have a great day sir.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On ‎1‎/‎15‎/‎2019 at 10:41 AM, richard_smith237 said:

Just relax, trust your instincts and enjoy yourself... 

 

At 54 do you really want to be having Children? 

 

Don't go for the 'night in shining armor' and try and look after her family... you're 54, old enough to know better, old enough to know what you want, and young enough to just get on with things and enjoy life.... Don't fall into any traps you'll regret...  

Great Great advice , full of wit and wisdom!

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Max66 said:

Stop spitting out money to her patents like an atm machine every month and see what happens. That should enlighten you and improve your sense of reality.

It's little money Max and she isn't asking for anything for herself. In Thai culture he's supposed to provide for her parents. Their culture, not yours. Let him be. As I said it's not all that much he's giving to the parents.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, HuskerDo said:

Do we really believe OP is a British citizen? 

Do you doubt this because of the poor English?  Consider that a British citizen could now be a refugee from any third world country and therefore English may not be his first language.  I mean who else would want to live there by choice. ????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 minutes ago, HuskerDo said:

It's little money Max and she isn't asking for anything for herself. In Thai culture he's supposed to provide for her parents. Their culture, not yours. Let him be. As I said it's not all that much he's giving to the parents.

I think it goes in Thai culture that you take care of 'your' parents.  So she and any other children should support their own parents.  I don't think you will find many Thai men supporting parent in-laws.  For God's sake they find it hard to support their wife and own children in some cases. 4-5k not much in your opinion,  so why does their own government only give the elderly 500 baht a month? If it is such a small amount why is her own family not supporting their parents. What has it got to do with foreigners?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Naamblar2014 said:

I think it goes in Thai culture that you take care of 'your' parents.  So she and any other children should support their own parents.  I don't think you will find many Thai men supporting parent in-laws.  For God's sake they find it hard to support their wife and own children in some cases. 4-5k not much in your opinion,  so why does their own government only give the elderly 500 baht a month? If it is such a small amount why is her own family not supporting their parents. What has it got to do with foreigners?

Well in my book your parents-in-law are also your parents. Even tho he isn't married to her I'd say it's just fine to provide them with a little financial help. As for her siblings not supporting them do you know if she even has any or that they aren't contributing? I don't know about Thai men supporting the in-laws. I would have thought the rule of "you marry her and you marry the family" would apply. If they don't that's on them. As for the govt and the 500 baht per month I can't answer that other than to say it isn't funded in any way for it to be more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nice ___ "you marry her and you marry the family"___, I do not think Thai family will marry you. You are farang, Not family

 

Up to you, it was my ex favorite responses. 

She,  never asked for anything but impield All the Time.  

 

Many farang supported their in-laws and many built houses. Most left their homes and issan. Drive by and see by yourself.

 

Open your eyes before you open your wallet. 

 

Good Luck and You will need it

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Pik said:

Nice ___ "you marry her and you marry the family"___, I do not think Thai family will marry you. You are farang, Not family

 

Up to you, it was my ex favorite responses. 

She,  never asked for anything but impield All the Time.  

 

Many farang supported their in-laws and many built houses. Most left their homes and issan. Drive by and see by yourself.

 

Open your eyes before you open your wallet. 

 

Good Luck and You will need it

 

Do a little research... ""you marry her and you marry the family" is the way it is there. Thai's put the king and their family ahead of you even if you are married. Much different than the Western world. Up to you. ???? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

39 minutes ago, Pik said:

Nice ___ "you marry her and you marry the family"___, I do not think Thai family will marry you. You are farang, Not family

 

Up to you, it was my ex favorite responses. 

She,  never asked for anything but impield All the Time.  

 

Many farang supported their in-laws and many built houses. Most left their homes and issan. Drive by and see by yourself.

 

Open your eyes before you open your wallet. 

 

Good Luck and You will need it

 

Just out of curiosity when you say... "Most left their homes and issan. Drive by and see by yourself." I have no idea where to drive by nor what I'm supposed to be looking for. Issan in a big area to cover. ???? 

 

I won't need luck. I'll do ok. Not a problem but thanks for the wishes. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, TonyFernandez said:

That's a pretty sad statement. Sad because the author seems to have only experience with certain type of Thai women for whom this is true: bar girls, those with a low education, etc. There are plenty of Thai women who want to support their parents themselves and have the ability to do so.

Get a TGF with a university degree and a proper job and you may not need to pay for your girlfriend on a monthly basis. But then, many foreigners who come to Thailand don't have university degree and a proper job themselves...     

The usual BS claim from someone who has been here 5 minutes and knows it all.

It's pretty simple economics. Even with the best intentions, most Thai women of working age earn 10K - 15K in their jobs. University degrees here are worth diddly squat. You can find girls with university degrees working in 7/11's or as pretties in the shopping malls. Their parents get 600 baht/month as a pension, 800 baht/month if they make it to 80. Government workers do better, but not by much. By the time the income has been split a few ways, not much in the way of luxuries.

In contrast, even the humblest farang retiree here is getting a pension of 40K to 50K baht/month. That's far more effective in terms of support available.

I move in a fairly wide circle of people. Apart from Thai Visa, I have yet to hear of a farang in a relationship with a Thai woman who is not giving support.

Yes, my GF does not have a university degree. She is street-smart, which is far more important in terms of assisting me.

"Don't have university degree?" The missing preposition gives me a clue as to your place in the final sentence of your post.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.





×
×
  • Create New...