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Saying it like it is or dashing a patient's hopes? Cancer patient told to prepare for death

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39 minutes ago, peterb17 said:

I have lost so many to that truly horrendous disease - my brother- told OK you have 5 years - dead within 6 weeks after diagnosis. 

 

My dear Mum - she knew she was dying -came to stay for 2 months at the Dusit Thani resort in Pattaya , she used to have a  total blood transfusion in the UK - then set off travelling. The staff there were absolutely brilliant and looked after her very well. 

 

So - doctors need to be honest - I have no fear of death - I have had a wonderful life - so you need to be told . 

How could your mom get health insurance for travel outside her home country when she had a terminal condition?

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4 hours ago, colinneil said:

Sorry i disagree with people getting upset when a doctor tells the truth.

Doctors were telling me and my wife 8 months to 1 year and you will be walking again.

My wife got angry with me when i told them BS, my spinal cord is broken and i know i will never walk again.

Only 1 doctor told the truth his words were....you can only look forward to a wheelchair nothing more, and i thanked him for being truthful, the others were telling me what they thought i wanted to hear.

Well said- but unfortunately a lot of people are like mushrooms and live on crap

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As someone who had to tell his Beloved Mother that She had terminal cancer prior to Her being admitted into a pallative care unit, I agree that any patient should be told the honest truth.
The sad news should be told by the closest relative imho.
That's my thought.

Sent from my SM-G7102 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

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2 hours ago, balo said:

Why is liver cancer so common in Thailand , anyone knows ? 

There are several reasons, and it has been the subject of discussions on here before.

 

Liver flukes is at the core of the matter, and you can get that in at least two ways:

1. Insufficiently fermented and cured pla ra. Pla ra must, according to authorities, be fermented and cured for at least 18 months, but many locally made versions of pla raa are only fermented and cured for about six months, which is insufficient to kill the parasites from the fish. Pla ra is an important part of Isaan som tam.

2. Eating the raw fresh water fish in Isaan.

There may be other ways to get liver flukes, but these are not known to me.

Edited by Jonah Tenner
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Telling the truth is the right thing to do but the doctor doesn't seem to have a good bedside manner....

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39 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I gave up drinking and smoking.  I'd want to know and have the doctor buy me a carton of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey. 

hopefully in the state then you will be able to enjoy them

 

Most people when they talk about dying think they will be in their healthy, happy and good mental state they are now, except having a fatal disease. Most of the time this is not the case.

 

When I was younger I always thought that I knew what to do in case I am told I have cancer or going to die. The more patients I have seen in that state and the older I am  the less I am sure how I would react myself

Edited by sweatalot

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Give me the straight goods so I can prepare. Sugar coat things all you want if it helps you in the matter but I want the truth. No bullshit. Just give me all the pain meds I want to ease me along everyone's inevitable destination. You can escape taxes in places like Monaco and Cayman Islands, death is not an option. When I am near, I would want to know.

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1 hour ago, overherebc said:

Dylan Thomas.

 

Do not go gentle into that good night

Old age should burn and rave at close of day

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I've always found that poem rather stupid, it is as it is, what is there to rave about, if one is going to die then with a little dignity please..... the grace of acceptance.

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4 hours ago, SammyT said:

Absolute rubbish. It is the doctor's job to tell them what they need to know, not what they want to hear and then rely on them asking the right questions to get the right answer. 

 

Just in general, I wish more Thai doctors would take the general approach this doctor did, and that was to be honest and medically accurate with their patient.

 

Not be vague and evasive and blow medical smoke up the patient's nether regions -- like seems to happen all too often here.

 

That doesn't mean the doctor has to be rude or abrupt or insensitive. Just don't lie and deceive the patient, and instead give them the doctor's honest best medical opinion of their prognosis, and whether anything more medically can or should be done.

 

And then talk about what medically can and should be done for the remaining time the patient has....  Not just send them off packing.

 

 

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5 hours ago, PJPom said:

All that I would want is pain relief if necessary, chemo only seems to prolong life without regard to the quality.

I put forward my view concerning me only, a more youthful person should make their own decisions.

The Doctor May be blunt but should she lie ?

Doctors are not priests. They deal in facts not fantasy. Liver (and pancreatic) cancer are terminal. LC usually two months, PC maybe a year, old friends have had both. Buddhists should accept it. Christians try magic, which never works. We all die.

Edited by jgarbo

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36 minutes ago, malagateddy said:

As someone who had to tell his Beloved Mother that She had terminal cancer prior to Her being admitted into a pallative care unit, I agree that any patient should be told the honest truth.
The sad news should be told by the closest relative imho.
That's my thought.

Sent from my SM-G7102 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

Never from a loved one, the news is given full of emotion, competent calmness with gentle detachment is best.

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5 hours ago, colinneil said:

Sorry i disagree with people getting upset when a doctor tells the truth.

 

Firstly, I'm pleasantly surprised you are saying something good about Thais. However, I totally disagree with you.

It's not about telling the truth or not it's the way they tell it.

When my first daughter died, I was told when ensuring where she was, by a nurse at the back of the nursing station shouting "she's dead already", as the one at the window thought I couldn't speak Thai. Disgusting from a so called top private hospital. 

I should have been prepared slowly for such devastaring news, and certainly not shipped at in a public area for all to hear. Anyone who thinks otherwise, had obviously never been in such a situation.

Thai doctors are shocking. I was told once, when my wife was 6 months pregnant, that she had a pulmonary embolism. I asked if it was serious and the doctor said, "yes, she's going to die"!!

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15 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

I've always found that poem rather stupid, it is as it is, what is there to rave about, if one is going to die then with a little dignity please..... the grace of acceptance.

Take it as being someone who does not want his father to die and does not actually say the words to his father but to himself to try and fight his own grief.

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Sorry..I disagree..I took a deep breath..''summoned up" my mental strength..sat at the edge of Mum's bed..held Her hand, then told Her the truth.
Mum's reply was.." well no one lives for ever..Mum was 97 years young at that point.
Mum died 3 months later, with Dignity.

Never from a loved one, the news is given full of emotion, competent calmness with gentle detachment is best.


Sent from my SM-G7102 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

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