Exit Planning and Survival Strategies if leaving Thailand

[CaptainJack]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I'm not sure a McMansion in an Issan village can be converted to cash.

Especially if it's in someone else's name.

 

I have a couple of clapped out scooters, maybe 15k for the pair.

Hi!

 

I forfeited my deposit on my apartment.  It was not a major loss.  All my furniture and accessories I gave to my girlfriend to use in her new apartment.  We got a truck and loaded everything the week before i left and her family helped us unload and get it upstairs.   I had been using Transferwise to move 65k every month to my bank at Krungthai.  That is another reason I has enough of the hoops to jump through.   I checked to see how my 9 months of transfers were coded, after reading about that issue.  Sure enough,  they are all coded as local.  Enough said on that. I'm gone and don't have to deal with that issue.  Still makes me angry though.  I need to let that go.

 

My remaining cash in my Thai bank account? It was about 20,000 baht. I could have drawn it out at an atm, but just used it to buy as many things my girlfriend needed and transferred the rest to her bank account.  

 

That is all of my assets in Thailand.  Oh, i donated all my extra clothing that would not fit in a Gregory 65 litre backpack.  

 

That was what i did.

[CaptainJack]

5 hours ago, MuuKondiao said:

I see from the comments that some people ignored your request to not bother with personal insults and leave this blog to those of us who are quitting Thailand to share experiences and plans.

I will be looking forward to learning  how you adapt temporarily to life in the States and what you come up with for the next destination.

  

Thanks. I'm only going to be here a couple of months.   Right now I'm living on easy street with my best friend and his wife. Stayed up watching movies the last three nights in his home theater. 

 

Seeing my doctor today for a yearly check up.  The weather is not super cold, so a sweater and coat and I'm toasty.

 

I am just getting my sea legs, have 95 percent decided to go hang on the west coast of Mexico.  I can rent a nice, furnished studio apartment for 350 usd a month and get high speed Internet.  Quite, small town.  Twenty minutes by bus to the ocean.  I'll not press my timeframe to the point i make anymore mistakes,  and extend here for 2 to 3 months if necessary.   I'll need to rent an Airb&b,  expensive,  but time to plan correctly is imperative...  that's it for now.

[CaptainJack]

33 minutes ago, Ashto said:

I’m increasingly convinced that flying several hours east is punishing but flying west not so. 

Definitely. 

[Thainess]

Let's face it - the reason most middle-aged western males are living in Thailand is because they are oddbods and/or failures in the home country and just can't compete with the average male in their country, and can't get a woman to even look at them back home, because western women are smart enough to smell a man who's a failure or has serious issues a mile off. They come to places like Thailand where they feel like they're no longer a nobody who people don't even notice, they can (initially) afford stuff and they even get some attention from women, even if the reason is that it's because they are uneducated women who assume "falangs have money" or that they can "escape from Thailand to a better life in the USA, Europe, etc.". However, most of these failed men eventually find out they still can't succeed in Thailand because they have no marketable skills, no self-confidence, crippling chips on their shoulders or are just oddjobs who can't fit into any society, so eventually the money runs out or they get sick and can't afford expensive treatment in Thailand, so they crawl back again to their country and lick their wounds, feeling more of a failure than ever. Very sad, but all too common among the type of failed ex-pats who come to SE Asia fooling themselves that they're somehow "living the dream in Thailand" whereas in fact most of them continue to be miserable, and often severe alcoholics or drug abusers, even in the "paradise" of Thailand...

[SheungWan]

20 minutes ago, Thainess said:

Let's face it - the reason most middle-aged western males are living in Thailand is because they are oddbods and/or failures in the home country and just can't compete with the average male in their country, and can't get a woman to even look at them back home, because western women are smart enough to smell a man who's a failure or has serious issues a mile off. They come to places like Thailand where they feel like they're no longer a nobody who people don't even notice, they can (initially) afford stuff and they even get some attention from women, even if the reason is that it's because they are uneducated women who assume "falangs have money" or that they can "escape from Thailand to a better life in the USA, Europe, etc.". However, most of these failed men eventually find out they still can't succeed in Thailand because they have no marketable skills, no self-confidence, crippling chips on their shoulders or are just oddjobs who can't fit into any society, so eventually the money runs out or they get sick and can't afford expensive treatment in Thailand, so they crawl back again to their country and lick their wounds, feeling more of a failure than ever. Very sad, but all too common among the type of failed ex-pats who come to SE Asia fooling themselves that they're somehow "living the dream in Thailand" whereas in fact most of them continue to be miserable, and often severe alcoholics or drug abusers, even in the "paradise" of Thailand...

Let's face it. I deserve a medal for reading the above.

[tingtongtourist]

11 minutes ago, Thainess said:

Let's face it - the reason most middle-aged western males are living in Thailand is because they are oddbods and/or failures in the home country and just can't compete with the average male in their country, and can't get a woman to even look at them back home, because western women are smart enough to smell a man who's a failure or has serious issues a mile off. They come to places like Thailand where they feel like they're no longer a nobody who people don't even notice, they can (initially) afford stuff and they even get some attention from women, even if the reason is that it's because they are uneducated women who assume "falangs have money" or that they can "escape from Thailand to a better life in the USA, Europe, etc.". However, most of these failed men eventually find out they still can't succeed in Thailand because they have no marketable skills, no self-confidence, crippling chips on their shoulders or are just oddjobs who can't fit into any society, so eventually the money runs out or they get sick and can't afford expensive treatment in Thailand, so they crawl back again to their country and lick their wounds, feeling more of a failure than ever. Very sad, but all too common among the type of failed ex-pats who come to SE Asia fooling themselves that they're somehow "living the dream in Thailand" whereas in fact most of them continue to be miserable, and often severe alcoholics or drug abusers, even in the "paradise" of Thailand...

from what you wrote, it sounds like your the one with the "crippling chip on the shoulder" lol

 

As for these oddjob loosers you describe, i suggest:

 

-many have worked, invested and can afford to retire early. doesnt sound like a looser to me.

 

-dont care about what others think and certainly dont run their life according to others

 

-find it hard to have anything to do with the ugly fat slob western woman who are the only singles left, but for sure still have attitude and arrogance to think they can pick and choose. yuk!  

 

-as for "cant fit into society" well, there are to many dickheads in my own country, im glad not to be a part of them.

 

and those people at home are worse drunks and drug addicts but they pay 3x more for everything +taxes and are deliberately kept in debt and poor so they must keep working.

 

thats what i think about "lets face it". 

lol

 

anyway for me, the key is not cutting yourself off totally from your homeplace.

 

it can be hard, and expensive, but going back every 2 year or so is a good insurance not to end up like the guys in your post!

 

[madmen]

18 hours ago, CaptainJack said:

Thank you for that comment.  I have been preparing for this since the first week of December.  I even detoured for a month to visit Sydney and the Blue Mountains and three weeks exploring the south island of New Zealand.  I put on a good face, but it is hard.  I have battled depression (something I don't normally have) everyday since getting back.  I'm safe, with my best friend and his wife, secure, have money and a rent car.  I miss my girlfriend terribly and still, I made the right decision for me.

 

The psychological and emotional are the hardest. Today was a milestone for me. I have decided where to go, what is involved and have already got enough solid evidence and research it is the right place in Latin America. 

 

There is nobody I could talk to here, except my best friend that could ever understand.   I guess that would be my biggest contribution to the topic.  All the plans, logistics and strategic thinking did not save me from my emotions.   Anyone leaving needs to be ready for that, the best they can.

leaving your GF who you miss is a bad decision IMO. Real love is hard to find and I wonder why you didn't make plans to take her with you or you could have stayed as there are currently a few work arounds regarding immigration

[mstevens]

1 hour ago, Thainess said:

Let's face it - the reason most middle-aged western males are living in Thailand is because they are oddbods and/or failures in the home country and just can't compete with the average male in their country, and can't get a woman to even look at them back home, because western women are smart enough to smell a man who's a failure or has serious issues a mile off. They come to places like Thailand where they feel like they're no longer a nobody who people don't even notice, they can (initially) afford stuff and they even get some attention from women, even if the reason is that it's because they are uneducated women who assume "falangs have money" or that they can "escape from Thailand to a better life in the USA, Europe, etc.". However, most of these failed men eventually find out they still can't succeed in Thailand because they have no marketable skills, no self-confidence, crippling chips on their shoulders or are just oddjobs who can't fit into any society, so eventually the money runs out or they get sick and can't afford expensive treatment in Thailand, so they crawl back again to their country and lick their wounds, feeling more of a failure than ever. Very sad, but all too common among the type of failed ex-pats who come to SE Asia fooling themselves that they're somehow "living the dream in Thailand" whereas in fact most of them continue to be miserable, and often severe alcoholics or drug abusers, even in the "paradise" of Thailand...

Maybe that was the case in the past, and maybe there are still many who match your description, but I think things are changing. Bangkok feels over-run with foreigners and rents downtown and the Bangkok lifestyle is no bargain these days. I don't think these oddballs you talk of could afford central Bangkok. The provinces and the boondicks maybe, but in central Bangkok the foreigners I see seem to have money and don't seem to have the problems you talk of.

[madmen]

1 hour ago, CaptainJack said:

Hi!

 

I forfeited my deposit on my apartment.  It was not a major loss.  All my furniture and accessories I gave to my girlfriend to use in her new apartment.  We got a truck and loaded everything the week before i left and her family helped us unload and get it upstairs.   I had been using Transferwise to move 65k every month to my bank at Krungthai.  That is another reason I has enough of the hoops to jump through.   I checked to see how my 9 months of transfers were coded, after reading about that issue.  Sure enough,  they are all coded as local.  Enough said on that. I'm gone and don't have to deal with that issue.  Still makes me angry though.  I need to let that go.

 

My remaining cash in my Thai bank account? It was about 20,000 baht. I could have drawn it out at an atm, but just used it to buy as many things my girlfriend needed and transferred the rest to her bank account.  

 

That is all of my assets in Thailand.  Oh, i donated all my extra clothing that would not fit in a Gregory 65 litre backpack.  

 

That was what i did.

You let all the small stuff build until you have a mountain and its all to hard and you get angry? Dude if your bank refuses to give you a letter stating the payments are international then get one that will !!!  This is a one off hoop and then you are set for life.

 

Ive noticed the same recurring theme in all your posts being either your to lazy or you just cant be bothered with even the small stuff and your post about your bank confirms this.

 

Im really surprised to see your a vet but some how your determination to succeed in a war zone hasn't carried over into your personal life.

 

Hope you get what Im saying and for sure the US is best for you as Im not sure you will succeed as an expat in any country, they all need work to make it and $$$

[CaptainJack]

1 hour ago, madmen said:

leaving your GF who you miss is a bad decision IMO. Real love is hard to find and I wonder why you didn't make plans to take her with you or you could have stayed as there are currently a few work arounds regarding immigration

Hi,

 

I did not take her with me because I do not have a foundation back in the USA to bring her to.  I checked about getting her a tourist visa to come visit in the future.  That is definitely a possibility, but only if I have decided to settle down in the USA, which I am not yet.

 

But the more important reason is really simple, and she an I have talked about it.  It is the lack of community or anyone she knows that can help her fit in and find work.  She has to have a job and security when I pass away.  To bring her to the USA, no family, no income and no friends right now would be selfish on my part. 

 

At this point, the priority I see for helping her is to get through this this change of being together and let her decide what she wants to do.  The entire program of being your girlfriend to the USA is way harder then I think anyone who has not attempted can imagine.  I have talked with several Americans who have married their girlfriends in Thailand and are trying to take them to the USA.  They are all running into the same problem.  Their wives go for their interview at the U.S. Embassy and are routinely denied a visa.  It appears coming (qualifying) for a tourist visa is the only sure route, and to get that the Thai woman needs supporting documentation on where she is staying, how she will support herself, etc.

 

Your question is a good one and it deserves an answer, which I hope this suffices. And you are right.  True love is hard to find and I believe in my heart we have true love.  This is just one other aspect of this decision to leave I have and still am struggling with.

 

If you can give me some concrete information and advise on how I can get her to the USA, all other issues aside, I am open to hearing that.  Please share your knowledge for me and anyone else.  I hit a brick wall on this endeavor.

 

Thanks in advance.  I appreciate anything you can offer to help me.

[CaptainJack]

2 hours ago, madmen said:

leaving your GF who you miss is a bad decision IMO. Real love is hard to find and I wonder why you didn't make plans to take her with you or you could have stayed as there are currently a few work arounds regarding immigration

Just an FYI.  Thailand is not part of the USA Visa Waiver Program.  I have also copied the relevant information I found when I first researched this question.  As a footnote, one of my girlfriend friends applied for visas to visit USA.  This is a Thai married couple. The husband was approved and his wife was not.  The American Embassy does not provide a reason for denial, only, "you are denied".  Come up with another 260 U.S. Dollars for the fee, and try again.  Just visiting the USA for a Thai is difficult.

 

FAQ - Visa Refusals

1. What is Section 214(b)?
2. How can an applicant prove "strong ties?"
3. Is a denial under Section 214(b) permanent?
4. Who can influence the consular officer to reverse a decision?

The United States is an open society. Unlike many other countries, the United States does not impose internal controls on most visitors, such as registration with local authorities. Our immigration law requires consular officers to view every visa applicant as an intending immigrant until the applicant proves otherwise. In order to enjoy the privilege of unencumbered travel in the United States, you have a responsibility to prove you are going to return abroad before a visitor or student visa is issued.

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Q.1 What Is Section 214(b)?

Section 214(b) is part of the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA). It states:

(b) Every alien (other than a nonimmigrant described in subparagraph (L) or (V) of section 101(a)(15), and other than a nonimmigrant described in any provision of section 101(a)(15)(H)(i) except subclause (b1) of such section) shall be presumed to be an immigrant until he establishes to the satisfaction of the consular officer, at the time of application for a visa, and the immigration officers, at the time of application for admission, that he is entitled to a nonimmigrant status under section 101(a)(15). An alien who is an officer or employee of any foreign government or of any international organization entitled to enjoy privileges, exemptions, and immunities under the International Organizations Immunities Act, or an alien who is the attendant, servant, employee, or member of the immediate family of any such alien shall not be entitled to apply for or receive an immigrant visa, or to enter the United States as an immigrant unless he executes a written waiver in the same form and substance as is prescribed by section 247(b).

Our consular officers have a difficult job. They must decide in a very short time if someone is qualified to receive a temporary visa. Most cases are decided after a brief interview and review of whatever evidence of ties an applicant presents. To qualify for a visitor or student visa, an applicant must meet the requirements of sections 101(a)(15)(B) or (F) of the INA respectively. Failure to do so will result in a refusal of a visa under INA 214(b). The most frequent basis for such a refusal concerns the requirement that the prospective visitor or student possess a residence abroad he or she has no intention of abandoning. Applicants prove the existence of such residence by demonstrating that they have ties abroad that would compel them to leave the United States at the end of the temporary stay. The law places this burden of proof on the applicant.

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Q.2 How can an applicant prove "strong ties?"

Ties are the various aspects of your life that bind you to your home country. Strong ties vary from country to country, city to city, and person to person, but examples include:

• Your job;
• Your home; and/or
• Your relationships with family and friends.

While conducting visa interviews, consular officers look at each application individually and consider the applicant's circumstances, travel plans, financial resources, and ties outside of the United States that will ensure the applicant’s departure after a temporary visit.

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[CaptainJack]

2 hours ago, madmen said:

leaving your GF who you miss is a bad decision IMO. Real love is hard to find and I wonder why you didn't make plans to take her with you or you could have stayed as there are currently a few work arounds regarding immigration

And this is the other route.

 

http://www.integrity-legal.com/us-visa/immigrant-spouse-visa.html

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, Thainess said:

Let's face it - the reason most middle-aged western males are living in Thailand is because they are oddbods and/or failures in the home country and just can't compete with the average male in their country, and can't get a woman to even look at them back home, because western women are smart enough to smell a man who's a failure or has serious issues a mile off.

Let's face it, some people come here for a holiday, think it will be always like that, stay, and finally fail.

But then there are others who thought twice before they moved to Thailand.

I think often it's about priorities and personal preferences. It's like some people work 10 or 12 hours a day to get rich and others work less, make less money but have more free time for friends and family. It's a personal choice.

 

Women are obviously part of the motivation. Personally I don't think I know anybody who likes feminist and plus size models (or at least they think they are models). And then there is this attitude of many "western" women. And it gets worse the better they look. No thanks, I don't need this and lots of other don't need this. So what do we do if we don't like what's available in place A? We move to place B. I think anybody who does not like place A is stupid if he doesn't look for a better place.

 

For some of us Thailand is this better place, for others other countries, and some guys are miserably everywhere because that's what they are.

Let's face it,  if you see only the problematic guys then maybe you spend too much time with those guys.

[BritManToo]

6 hours ago, Thainess said:

Let's face it - the reason most middle-aged western males are living in Thailand is because they are oddbods and/or failures in the home country and just can't compete with the average male in their country, and can't get a woman to even look at them back home, because western women are smart enough to smell a man who's a failure or has serious issues a mile off. They come to places like Thailand where they feel like they're no longer a nobody who people don't even notice, they can (initially) afford stuff and they even get some attention from women, even if the reason is that it's because they are uneducated women who assume "falangs have money" or that they can "escape from Thailand to a better life in the USA, Europe, etc.". However, most of these failed men eventually find out they still can't succeed in Thailand because they have no marketable skills, no self-confidence, crippling chips on their shoulders or are just oddjobs who can't fit into any society, so eventually the money runs out or they get sick and can't afford expensive treatment in Thailand, so they crawl back again to their country and lick their wounds, feeling more of a failure than ever. Very sad, but all too common among the type of failed ex-pats who come to SE Asia fooling themselves that they're somehow "living the dream in Thailand" whereas in fact most of them continue to be miserable, and often severe alcoholics or drug abusers, even in the "paradise" of Thailand...

But enough about you, this thread is about moving to another country.

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, madmen said:

leaving your GF who you miss is a bad decision IMO. Real love is hard to find and I wonder why you didn't make plans to take her with you or you could have stayed as there are currently a few work arounds regarding immigration

The world is full of 'girlfriends', no need to move your current one to a new country, there will be another waiting for you to arrive. Applies to children as well.

I am the 'star' in my movie, who plays the bit parts, doesn't really matter.

[CaptainJack]

19 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

The world is full of 'girlfriends', no need to move your current one to a new country, there will be another waiting for you to arrive. Applies to children as well.

I am the 'star' in my movie, who plays the bit parts, doesn't really matter.

I'm not being satirical. Thank you for being honest,  I was just wanting to not go down that path.  My own reasons, but I understand.  What a world we live in.  And, for what is worth, your comment can be construed as an exit plan and strategic way of thinking, as strange as that may sound. And I an NOT a drama queen.  I'm a real person with real feeling and emotions for those that want to rip me apart.  I would not do that to another human being....

[Suradit69]

On February 22, 2019 at 7:44 AM, WyrldTraveler said:

People "Back Home" will try to shame you

 

Why would people back home want to shame you?

 

I've lived outside the US in 4 other countries over nearly 45 year. Spent a few brief periods back in the US. No one " at home " tried to shame me about my choices or the changes I undertook. Not really sure what the supposed basis for shame would be.

 

What sort of friends or family do you have who aren't supportive and who feel the need to make you feel bad about yourself? And do none of your friends/ family travel? I find it odd that you think choosing to live briefly in another country to be an act that required courage. It's not exactly the same these days as when explorers boarding ships heading west from Europe into the unknown.

[RichardColeman]

I returned to the UK after living in Thailand for 3 years - basically as my tenant died. But, never having sold my house to fund my life in Thailand - and I am sorry if it upsets but only an idiot would - I have a safe place to say (if somewhat now in need of an overhaul after the useless B ran it down).

 

I think the move back to your country is not difficult if you retained your property, as you are not alienated by your new surroundings.

 

Whilst things in my town have changed a little, 99.9% is mostly the same, a simple walk by the river, watching a local football match, a chat to a neighbour and everything is pretty much back to normal.

 

Best advice - do not sell your house ! Thailand may be a nice place to retire to many people, and I am not knocking those that choose to make it their home - BUT, you live there at the governments pleasure - you cannot own a house and are at the beck and call of any immigration change.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

I returned to the UK after living in Thailand for 3 years - basically as my tenant died. But, never having sold my house to fund my life in Thailand - and I am sorry if it upsets but only an idiot would - I have a safe place to say (if somewhat now in need of an overhaul after the useless B ran it down).

 

I think the move back to your country is not difficult if you retained your property, as you are not alienated by your new surroundings.

 

Whilst things in my town have changed a little, 99.9% is mostly the same, a simple walk by the river, watching a local football match, a chat to a neighbour and everything is pretty much back to normal.

 

Best advice - do not sell your house ! Thailand may be a nice place to retire to many people, and I am not knocking those that choose to make it their home - BUT, you live there at the governments pleasure - you cannot own a house and are at the beck and call of any immigration change.

I would also prefer to keep my properties all over the world.

But some of us just can't afford that ???? 

[GinBoy2]

7 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

I returned to the UK after living in Thailand for 3 years - basically as my tenant died. But, never having sold my house to fund my life in Thailand - and I am sorry if it upsets but only an idiot would - I have a safe place to say (if somewhat now in need of an overhaul after the useless B ran it down).

 

I think the move back to your country is not difficult if you retained your property, as you are not alienated by your new surroundings.

 

Whilst things in my town have changed a little, 99.9% is mostly the same, a simple walk by the river, watching a local football match, a chat to a neighbour and everything is pretty much back to normal.

 

Best advice - do not sell your house ! Thailand may be a nice place to retire to many people, and I am not knocking those that choose to make it their home - BUT, you live there at the governments pleasure - you cannot own a house and are at the beck and call of any immigration change.

 

Always kept a house back in the US as the ultimate bolt hole. While overseas it gave me income as I rented it out, and when we decided to return it made that move simple.

 

Now we still have the house in Thailand which is a great vacation getaway, but it's not our only option.

 

Selling everything up in 'insert country' and moving to Thailand lock stock and barrel, is just madness

[CaptainJack]

Good morning from Austin, 

 

A quick check in and a few things that are working.   When I moved to Thailand,  because I have been on adventure travek since 2014, most my friends were virtual. Many I have met in person,  but they are scattered all over the planet.   I have used Facebook as a virtual network of friends. 

 

I have several I'm in touch with only a few hours away, and am connecting with them for some real human interaction.   That is a strategy not to fall into depression from loneliness. 

 

The research is ongoing on the next destination.  I'm 95 percent sure it is the west coast of Mexico.   There is a decent sized expat community in close proximity too.  

 

I got in to see my doctor for my annual physical.   Everything's good. Yea!

 

Oh, I had not mentioned this before, but I think this is important.   One of the things that happened when I was living in Bangkok was I was only able to make two farrang friends.   I never was able to get any traction beyond that.  I'd meet guys at expat bars, talk, but nobody ever seemed very open.  I'm normally a very easy to like and get to know guy.

 

All the expats that had girlfriends were focused on them.

 

My one real expat friend,  once he got a new girlfriend,  he was always busy with her.  I fell into the same routine too.  It was just me and my girlfriend. 

 

I think it is Bangkok.   It just seemed too hard to make friends.   If I'd have gone elsewhere,  it might have made a difference.   Who knows.  A little late now.

 

That's it for now.  I'll check back in a few days.  Good luck to all and thanks for cutting me some slack.  I was feeling pretty down the other day.  Cheers.

[GinBoy2]

3 hours ago, CaptainJack said:

Good morning from Austin, 

 

A quick check in and a few things that are working.   When I moved to Thailand,  because I have been on adventure travek since 2014, most my friends were virtual. Many I have met in person,  but they are scattered all over the planet.   I have used Facebook as a virtual network of friends. 

 

I have several I'm in touch with only a few hours away, and am connecting with them for some real human interaction.   That is a strategy not to fall into depression from loneliness. 

 

The research is ongoing on the next destination.  I'm 95 percent sure it is the west coast of Mexico.   There is a decent sized expat community in close proximity too.  

 

I got in to see my doctor for my annual physical.   Everything's good. Yea!

 

Oh, I had not mentioned this before, but I think this is important.   One of the things that happened when I was living in Bangkok was I was only able to make two farrang friends.   I never was able to get any traction beyond that.  I'd meet guys at expat bars, talk, but nobody ever seemed very open.  I'm normally a very easy to like and get to know guy.

 

All the expats that had girlfriends were focused on them.

 

My one real expat friend,  once he got a new girlfriend,  he was always busy with her.  I fell into the same routine too.  It was just me and my girlfriend. 

 

I think it is Bangkok.   It just seemed too hard to make friends.   If I'd have gone elsewhere,  it might have made a difference.   Who knows.  A little late now.

 

That's it for now.  I'll check back in a few days.  Good luck to all and thanks for cutting me some slack.  I was feeling pretty down the other day.  Cheers.

It's actually quite hard to make friends in Thailand, even if you speak Thai, which i do.

 

It's funny, I could never quite make that connection with people that I could at home.

 

I also lived in China, Singapore & Taiwan, I speak Mandarin, and to this day still have great friendships with people I knew there.

 

In 10 years living in Thailand, that just never happened

[GinBoy2]

13 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

 

 

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

10 hours ago, CaptainJack said:

 I have used Facebook as a virtual network of friends. 

How does that work? It seems not so good...

I don't like fb but I understand when some people use it for business or to stay in contact with existing friends who are far away.

But I can't imagine those virtual "friends" have much to do with real friends.

I think it's not difficult to have friends in Bangkok. And it's definitely not difficult to have acquaintances.

I think what some people are miss are friends visiting friends in their home. I guess that happens not so often here. I say I guess because I never was a fan of that even in my "home".

I see friends mostly for coffee, dinner, a couple of beers, etc.

Maybe one aspect is that I think many people in Thailand (and maybe elsewhere) want some time before they accept new people as a friend. Having a beer is ok, telling your personal story not so much. I guess one of the reason for that is that lots of charlatans run around here with wonderful business opportunities, special tips, etc. It's a good idea to be careful with them...

[CaptainJack]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How does that work? It seems not so good...

I don't like fb but I understand when some people use it for business or to stay in contact with existing friends who are far away.

But I can't imagine those virtual "friends" have much to do with real friends.

I think it's not difficult to have friends in Bangkok. And it's definitely not difficult to have acquaintances.

I think what some people are miss are friends visiting friends in their home. I guess that happens not so often here. I say I guess because I never was a fan of that even in my "home".

I see friends mostly for coffee, dinner, a couple of beers, etc.

Maybe one aspect is that I think many people in Thailand (and maybe elsewhere) want some time before they accept new people as a friend. Having a beer is ok, telling your personal story not so much. I guess one of the reason for that is that lots of charlatans run around here with wonderful business opportunities, special tips, etc. It's a good idea to be careful with them...

I understand your point.  For me, I've been traveling the world since 2014.  Never in one place long enough to really make friends.  I think for me, if I would have stayed in Thailand longer, I'd probably have made more inroads.   Hard to say.  I have found it more difficult as I have gotten older.  Probably a combination of me and everyone else?

 

I'll be at my new Latin home starting March 11th.  I'll rent a nice furnished apartment for six months and see how it goes.  All an exercise in being stable in one place long enough to get acquainted  

 

The cost of living in comparable to Thailand and it is only 7 hours to Austin if I need serious medical care.   There is a substantial American expat community too.  I'll see how this goes. 

 

Good points by the way.  Thanks!

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, CaptainJack said:

I understand your point.  For me, I've been traveling the world since 2014.  Never in one place long enough to really make friends.  I think for me, if I would have stayed in Thailand longer, I'd probably have made more inroads.   Hard to say.  I have found it more difficult as I have gotten older.  Probably a combination of me and everyone else?

 

I'll be at my new Latin home starting March 11th.  I'll rent a nice furnished apartment for six months and see how it goes.  All an exercise in being stable in one place long enough to get acquainted  

 

The cost of living in comparable to Thailand and it is only 7 hours to Austin if I need serious medical care.   There is a substantial American expat community too.  I'll see how this goes. 

 

Good points by the way.  Thanks!

It's interesting that you say you traveled since many years.

I don't want to play the hobby psychologist but are you sure you want to settle down in one place?

I guess after all your travel you should have experienced enough places which you like. Some more and some less.

Personally if I would want to settle down I would think about the places I know and pick the one which I liked most (and which I can afford, etc.)

But it seem you don't pick one of the places you know already. You look for new places which you don't know.

That's obviously in itself not a problem. But it sounds for me like you like the experience of new places and you don't really like to settle down. That's fine. But I think we all look at places differently if we think about spending there a couple of months or if we think about settling down there.

What do you actually want? Settle down or explore places?

(I don't expect that you explain this to me or others, but I think it's a question you should ask yourself)

[CaptainJack]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It's interesting that you say you traveled since many years.

I don't want to play the hobby psychologist but are you sure you want to settle down in one place?

I guess after all your travel you should have experienced enough places which you like. Some more and some less.

Personally if I would want to settle down I would think about the places I know and pick the one which I liked most (and which I can afford, etc.)

But it seem you don't pick one of the places you know already. You look for new places which you don't know.

That's obviously in itself not a problem. But it sounds for me like you like the experience of new places and you don't really like to settle down. That's fine. But I think we all look at places differently if we think about spending there a couple of months or if we think about settling down there.

What do you actually want? Settle down or explore places?

(I don't expect that you explain this to me or others, but I think it's a question you should ask yourself)

I'm happy to answer.  I am moving my reply to a post because I think the reply is better suited for all.

[CaptainJack]

OneMoreFarang asked me about settling down.  I've answered his question here because I think you all deserve to have a more complete story.  I did not disclose these details because of fear of Thailand immigration.   I apologize for my not being more forthright.  As ask your forgiveness. 

 

..................................

 

 

I'm happy to answer.  I have always wanted to see and experience as much of the world and other cultures after I retired as possible,  and after my parents were no longer with me and no siblings, divorced and no real attachments,  I downsized and started out on this journey. 

I had put my few possessions in a small storage unit for my efficiency apartment and my best friend kept care of my car, and headed aff to again to explore more of Asia and SE Asia, my 3rd time over as a an adventurer.  Spent a month in China and a couple more months everywhere else. 

I was back in Bangkok,  and decided I liked it in Thailand,  thought I understood the retirement route, and decided to give it a shot at being home, first home base and continue to explore more of the world from Bangkok,  but call it home. 

I had my second 90 day visa, but because I was not sure on the visa stuff, I hired an agent who was referred to me by a new expat friend. The agent helped me get a bank account at Krungthai and my non Immigrant  visa. I rented an apartment for a year, met my girlfriend and started to settle down.

I was having a great time, going on weekend trips with my girlfriend all over Thailand and was intent enough on staying that i flew back to the USA and sold my car and other possessions to free up that cash flow. 

Everything was going great until I went back to immigration in 90 days, when the s*it hit the fan. I thought the 30,000 baht I paid the visa company was no different then the 500 US dollars I paid back in Austin to an expediter to get my visa for China. Was I ever wrong. 

OMG! I'm sitting there at immigration,  my 90 day report in hand, and that is when everything started to go downhill. 

I'm saying this again so everyone knows, I am a dumb*ss. The IO looks at my passport,  the visa stamp, and tells me, "your in violation of your visa, you have not reported your charge of address ". I'm totally confused,  she keeps telling me I am three months overdue,  and my visa is invalid.   What! I've done everything right, i have been transferring several thousand dollars a month into my Thai bank account,  and I'm trying to tell her, I have not moved, I've been at the same place for 3 months. She goes and gets another IO who speaks better English, and she finally explains to me what the problem is.  I have a stamp from the Chun Buri immigration office, not Bkk, and I have an address listed in Chun Buri.  What! I've never lived in Chun Buri I tell her.

I'm totally confused,  she actually got it that I had no clue, and looked me straight in the eyes and said, "did you use a visa company"?. Yes, of course I did. I paid to have my visa application expited and handled by a professional company. 

So she takes the time to explain to me what has happened,  then tells me my viss can be cancelled, I can be arrested and deported. 

You cannot imagine the terror that ran down my spine.  She took mercy on me, and it was early enough in the new immigration world, she was probably happy to have me pay a bunch of fines.

So, it was fill out the correct forms, plus my landlord doing a TM30, pay a bunch of fines, and she would fix it.  I did what she said and true to her word, she did update my address and approve my 90 day check in.

Oh, she wanted the visa company information,  and I gave her both phone numbers.  She called them and they were disconnected.  She went on to explain to me about the corruption and bribery,  and that they were just starting a new program to put a stop to the corruption,  arrest and prosecute the visa companies and eventually start deporting expats with illegal immigration papers.  

I thought I had, and I had, dodged a bullet.   That was September 22nd.

I thought everything was going to be okay,  until December 22nd, my second 90 day report,  and that IO started in on why did I have a Chun Buri stamp?

That was it for me.  Agter discovering TV, reading what the system is really like in Thailand,  the new head of immigration and his background,  the end of Embassy letters and the possibility this could come back to haunt me, I had enough.  

So, the long answer to your question is, I was ready to settle down,  was happy and just about everything that could have gone wrong did or was starting to unfold before my eyes in Thailand.   I have zero desire to live in a country that the norm just to retire is filled with bribes and corruption and never knowing what is next. I made the decision for myself to leave. 

Was I stupid? Yes.  Was I lucky? Yes. Was I still at risk? Yes.  Time to go.  

Oh, my expat friend that referred me to the visa company? All he did was bitch at me for not contuning to use the visa company.  Thanks a lot!

I'm an adventurer,  an explorer.   I've survived injuries trekking in the jungle and worse.  But I've never gone through this process of feeling at risk being in any country like Thailand,  and that includes several communist countries.

For what it us worth,  I don't think we have seen the worse of what is coming to Thailand's immigration requirements and enforcement.   I just don't have any desire to live my life always feeling like I am one step away from arrest and deportation.  

It cost me way too much on too many levels.  I have enough income to live in Thailand and many other countries. The medical insurance issue I blew.  That cost would blow my financial planning. I am working on a legal (not lying to travel insurance companies I'm traveling when in fact I'm living there) and that will be settled this week.

I travel a lot. The entire TM30 thing is an absurdity.  If I wanted to, I could come back to Thailand after my retirement visa expires and be a tourist,  spend my money at pricey hotels and go my way.  This was the biggest mess up in my life travelling to over 60 different countries. I have only myself to blame...
PS.

Thanks for asking again OneMoreFaran.

I had been reluctant to share this last detail, thinking I might try to come back. but I might as well be in complete disclosure.   It may help others,  which is my main reason for starting this topic.

 

I will add my personal perspective.  I simply did not understand the system.  That is my fault. For everyone that thinks they are safe that has been scamming the corrupt immigration system for years? Wait until visa companies and their Thai employees get arrested and they give up their client list, and others cut deals to avoid arrest. 

 

 Everyone forgets tbe critical point of what makes "Big Joke" different.   He is a United States FBI trained graduate and knows exactly what he is doing and how to bring down  criminal organizations.  It's simply whether he wants to or not.  I would not be too quick to say he us, "a joke"...

[mrmicbkktxl]

On 2/22/2019 at 3:15 PM, WyrldTraveler said:

After tw

After 20 years, they probably don't remember.

 

It's only a 'personal defeat' if you define it as such; you are welcome to call it a re-calibration, or change of plans, or simply refuse to keep score.  With so many Thais wanting to move to the 'West', wouldn't it be fun to tell people that you wanted to see what the fuss was about?

 

There is everything right with preparing for an uncertain future.  There is everything wrong with making excuses to be miserable.  It's a personal call.  If you involve the family, they might think it's a great idea.  I don't know your personal situation. 

 

I was moved to Asia at nine (9) years of age.  It definitely ruined me for work at the 'Golden Horns' (as McD's is called in Ukraine.)  Nobody consulted me, either.

Thais have a different reason why they want to go west.I came here because of the weather and a more relaxing lifestyle.Uncertain future is a point what bothers me a lot here.Every year you have to worry the thais still let you stay here or kick you out

[glegolo]

I am not so sure that you really are a retired law enforcement officer. Not at least an officer, merely a footboy of some kind. What about gather information, get organized, and learn the process?

 

Thousands and thousands of expats do this more or less everyday, and YOU failed miserable... You did "buy" your way out you thought, but instead what you did, was to neglect to learn the laws and rules, and tried a shortcut called 30.000 baht....

 

To put the blame on Thailand is for some people rather typical, these kind of humans will never learn, they will repeat it until their dying days.

 

glegolo