The week that was in Thailand news: Mind your language - why I swear by Thailand!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Mind your language - why I swear by Thailand!

 

 

Newbies to Thailand might believe the simplistic guidebooks that claim the Thais are demure and known for always turning the other cheek. Anyone who has been here the proverbial five minutes knows otherwise!

 

While it is true that most Thais will do most anything to avoid conflict - and the loss of face that inevitably entails - when things do go pear-shaped it can be very unpleasant indeed. Much of the skill - and it is a skill - enabling a foreigner to live happily in Thailand revolves around how much to be Thai and how much to be foreign. And it involves knowing the difference;  knowing when barriers are crossed and knowing how far those barriers can be pushed. 

 

Some don't care about this and pay the consequences. Some let the Thais run roughshod over them in benign acceptance that this is "not their country" - this leads to consequences, too, in the lowering of self-esteem and a feeling of disempowerment. (And leads to venting on Thaivisa forum about Thais.....but that's another issue for another day!)

 

One area of life in Thailand that everyone can relate to is use of Thai language. Rooster has been in both a happy and difficult position for years regarding what legendary columnist Bernard Trink always referred to as "the vernacular". 

 

I am not a native Thai speaker but I have advanced skills. This is a double edged sword - having the abilities I possess means expectations are high. Anyone who knows me would criticize me - perhaps not to my face! - if I used Thai language that was even a wee bit inappropriate. He should know better!

 

For 15 years I was head of Thai language and culture at Harrow International School in Don Muang. It was a privileged position and one that led to tightrope walking the like of which few foreigners in Thailand would ever have to tread. It also set me apart as a kind of go-between. I was between the expatriate teachers and the students and senior management. I was between those self-same expatriates and the hi-so parents who were our clients. It was a balancing act at times and one that always kept me on my toes. 

 

Apropos language the school always had a problem - we had so many Thai students and the teachers wanted them speaking English but many preferred Thai especially out of class. This was grudgingly accepted by some teachers as an inevitable consequence of 80% Thai enrollment. But what really got many goats was their belief that the children - some in primary - were swearing like troopers in Thai. Only a few expats could pick up on it leading to what some saw as a problem. Many parents complained that they heard a lot of bad language around the campus.

 

I was asked many times what the Thai swear words were. I was always somewhat reluctant to advise people officially because I believe that your Thai skills have to be fairly good before you could be remotely sure what a child had said especially in a noisy playground. So I advised caution. 

 

But when pressed I came up with a list of what to listen out for in the corridors of the school. And in order to take the pressure off non-Thai speakers I implemented a system where offenders who were suspected of swearing in Thai were sent to my office.

 

The miscreant was welcomed in sternly and told to wait (stew). Rather in the manner of the Thai police and their suspects they were advised to admit to their crime before we moved on. No re-enactment was necessary! Softening, I spoke of my own use of Thai swear words and that swearing makes one part of a club. I never once said that adults don't swear but I impressed on kids that there was a time and a place for it. School was neither the time nor place. 

 

Finally they were just warned - Thai style again - but if they re-offended they could expect their parents to be told and their place at Harrow to be questioned. They then signed that they grasped the consequences. 

 

No one was reported to me twice. The problem was never eradicated but a lid was kept on it that most accepted was the best we could do. 

 

If you are not a native speaker swearing in a foreign language is tricky. I can just about get away with some rough language with people I know well, especially if it is accompanied with a smile. But by and large I avoid it unless I am speaking facetiously or trying to otherwise be funny. I still come a cropper at times but, hey, that refers back to what I said earlier about pushing the boundaries. 

 

Life is dull without that.

 

Two people who knew no such boundaries in the matter of swearing featured in my favorite video of the week on Thaivisa. This was a foul mouthed duel between a taxi driver and a portly woman who was obviously trying to rip him off by not paying the fare. The driver pursued her all down the soi as "every Thai swear word under the sun" (as the translator put it) was hurled back and forth like profane ping-pong.

 

Buffaloes, elephants, water monitors and other animals were invoked. Their sexual proclivities and those of mothers were raised. Parts of the body too rude to mention (soles of feet and heels no less!) and their unseemly association with loftier physical attributes were made. It was what Brits of a bygone era like myself refer to as "fruity". 

 

The good thing about the verbal violence was that it did not escalate into something decidedly worse. How many times in recent years have we seen tooled up taxi drivers or road-ragers produce "sparta" or fruit paring knives, swords and machetes, or even guns. All too often I am afraid. It was great to just kick back on this occasion, get the popcorn out and enjoy the foul-mouthed free-for-all. 

 

One man not averse to the occasional swear word is General PM Big Too. He has often brought the officer's mess into the public arena to create an even worse mess. One comment I particularly liked on the forum this week concerned the swearing heard throughout the land when he starts to deliver his Friday treatise on national TV. Swearing from the public, that is, as they turn off the TV and do something more interesting instead. 

 

This week Prayut headed for a Krabi hospital to meet the Finnish father of a five year old who was savaged by dogs on Ao Nang beach. While this caring act will do no harm to his political ambitions it was good that he went just a bit out of his way (he was in the south anyway). It will be even better if he followed up by barking some orders that would help to end the menace of soi dogs in the kingdom. 

 

The boy survived - just - but next day a toddler was attacked at his house. A quick 'neighborly' offer to recompense the family to the tune of 100,000 baht reveals how serious it was. Of course the Thai press loves to jump on bandwagons - vehicles that often pass by fast and are never seen again - but this one, along with the carnage on the roads is one that should not be allowed to go away "until next time". 

 

Tourism will be affected. Innocent children will die. Ordinary people just out for a walk, jog or cycle will feel threatened while the dogs are giving better treatment than many humans. Animal cruelty laws have gone too far and need to be reined in to allow public authorities greater freedom in containing and hopefully one day eradicating this menace. The problem is multi-faceted - not just a simple Buddhist problem as many posters contend - and political will is needed.

 

Politics, of course, was gaining even greater attention this week as election fever spiked. Some posters on the column last week even wanted to hear my take on various issues that have surfaced in recent weeks regarding high profile candidates. Suffice to say that when it comes to some figures in Thailand I won't cross those aforementioned boundaries. To keep the dog theme going, I think  "self-muzzling" is often a great idea.

 

This avoids being bitten, something that has never happened to me in Thailand. It also helps to warn off the necessity of divorce.

 

More concerning this week were efforts made by the junta to silence political opposition with a number of amateurish moves against their opponents. The fresh faced leader of a party attracting considerable influence among young voters will hopefully not be unduly worried by the KUBs (khaki underpants brigade). One day they might have a lot more to answer for than putting a few porky pies on a website. 

 

Though not a news item I clicked on a forum topic that mentioned porky pies and saw that it garnered a great deal of attention. Expecting to read comments about Thais lying (rhyming slang porky pies=lies for the uninitiated) I was a tad disappointed that it was about pigmeat in a pastry casing. It did make me hungry, however, and reminded me to tell the kids who are visiting from the UK over Songkran to bring lashings of Branston. 

 

One set of places that have often made me feel like swearing are hospitals and doctors' surgeries (and don't get me started on banks...). This week we were reminded that hospitals can't force patients - or even the doctors - to make people fill their prescriptions at their own pharmacies. This was not news to frugally minded Rooster who has connived with doctors for years to circumvent their employers and save money. I would advise everybody else who cares about the baht in their pocket to do likewise as new laws requiring hospitals to be fair are as likely as no one getting sick anymore. 

 

Much comment was made on several other stories of both quirky and irritating natures. Quirky was a post of a woman on Facebook who said that an "aunty" got on the MRT and promptly sat down in her lap. Sanook went to town quoting many netizens one of whom suggested, if the offender was indeed a foreigner, that the "lap-sitter" should be taught that lovely Thai swear word that is rarely spelled out - e-dork (whore). It's a powerful word that should be avoided - no wonder prostitutes in Thailand are referred to as "women looking for something to eat". 

 

Overstepping the mark was a Slovenian who had planned to propose to his wife on Valentine's Day. When she didn't turn up for a romantic dinner he took out his frustrations - along with a bit of Slovak slang I shouldn't wonder - on campaign posters in the neighborhood. It emerged the reason for this was that she was out canvassing but all ended well as the candidate forgave him and wais were exchanged. 

 

That Thai habit invariably gets my vote!

 

Great comment accompanied a story that suggested there were less accidents on booze free Buddhist holidays, like last Tuesday. Lo and behold the stats showed that "only" 24 perished on the day in question and the debate was reignited further. Rooster would have been happier if Bacchus had ordered his followers to drink milk and Sir Walter Raleigh had just brought back potatoes to the old world. Drink and fags have got a whole lot to answer for.

 

Questions were also raised this week about an altogether more pleasant drug that is never out of the news these days.

 

Ganja. Fears are being raised that new regulations designed to pave the way for medical use of the drug and possibly recreational use in the future are becoming confusing and being misinterpreted. I'm afraid that given the Thai's penchant for not having a cunning plan and making things up as they go along I will not be surprised when this results in an unholy mess with the RTP interpreting the law for their own pecuniary pleasure. 

 

I shall be taking Mrs Rooster up to Loei next week - the children started ten (ugh - TEN) week Thai holidays. One eye I shall keep on the kids and the road outside gran's and the other on the adjacent sugar cane field that hopefully one day might be a pot plot. 

 

So to a few Rooster awards. "Surname Of The Week" goes to a policeman who felt he was defamed after an irate member of the enemy (the public) went online to complain about his checkpoint. The Pol Capt's second name was "Sa-artnak" or "squeaky clean". It reminded me of Cyril Fletcher of "That's Life" fame on UK TV who once featured a real life name of a solicitor who came to his attention: Robin Bastard.

 

"Employee Of The Week" also goes to a cop, well a concrete one of the "Ja Choey" variety referred to as "Sergeant Standstill". A Songkhla woman had apparently won three lottery prizes because of him and had now set up a shrine at the cop's solid feet to get a fourth.  With the usual amount of inactivity from the RTP this was most impressive - maybe Sgt Standstill can be given overall responsibility for tackling the carnage on the roads. He won't be any worse and may be cheaper.

 

The "Glenn Hoddle" award for "Services To The Afterlife" goes to the hi-so Mustang driver and his girlfriend who got a security guard to turf out a disabled woman's trike from a handicapped person's parking spot at Terminal 21 in Pattaya.

 

Glenn paid the penalty for believing in karma too. 

 

Finally, the "Rotten To The Core" award goes to Krisana "Mona" Suwanpitak the ex-beauty queen who murdered her "insubordinate" teenage maid. She has finally been jailed for life.

 

I'm tempted to swear when reading about people like this but, considering the boundaries again, I shall just content myself with a Thai proverb along the lines of beauty only being skin deep.

 

"Suay tae roop, joop mai horm".

 

Beautiful on the outside - but the kiss is not fragrant.

 

Rooster. 
 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2019-02-23

[Gumballl]

<deleted>. No way I am reading all of that.

 

-Peace.

[RJRS1301]

Good read, and well written 

[Lacessit]

Getting to be addicted to Rooster's posts. Thanks.

[Samui Bodoh]

An interesting read as always...

 

Reading this brought to mind one of my favourite (and probably not entirely accurate) stories regarding Mark Twain. It seems that he was prone to swearing with the best of them, but his wife was horrified and wanted him to stop. Nagging and urging didn't work, so one day at home she just let loose with "<deleted>! <deleted>! Shit! <deleted>! Bastard! <deleted>! <deleted>! <deleted>!" (or words to that effect) in the hope of shaming him into speaking more politely. Mr Twain looked at her calmly and said; 

 

'You've got the words right, my Dear, but you'll never master the tune'

 

 

 

[NRGF]

A good read, thanks. 

It's as close as I get to the Sunday's these days.

[Andyfez]

Sunday mornings.... I've started checking the clock to see if Thaivisa has arrived in my email inbox.

Well done Rooster.

[murraynz]

yes, an interesting read--a little bit lengthy though...

[orang37]

Great read ! imho, expats living here who know the swear words (particularly the "depersonalizing pronouns") should never use them ... unless you like violence, and/or have a death wish.

 

Being aware of their use by Thais ... who are unaware you understand them ... can be useful, but difficult to interpret in context.

 

~o:37;

[Jane Dough]

20 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Getting to be addicted to Rooster's posts. Thanks.

That's good to hear.

 

Maybe I should open a rehab clinic funded by the NCPO. 

 

Rooster

[Captain 776]

My first day in Thailand........over 13 yrs ago........I was warned.

 

NEVER Talk about the Royal Family and especially the King, even if it is an innocent complimentary joke and certainly not ever in a bad way.

 

NEVER insult a Thai.......them losing face can get you hurt or shot.

 

NEVER engage in road rage here........many have a gun in the car or they will go home and get one.

 

And.....never take 2 girls from the same bar.......lolol

 

In 13 yrs, I have never had a problem with any Thai for any reason.

Like almost anywhere else in the world you go........if you mind your own business and be respectful, you will not have any problems.

[Jane Dough]

3 hours ago, Andyfez said:

Sunday mornings.... I've started checking the clock to see if Thaivisa has arrived in my email inbox.

Well done Rooster.

You are most welcome. And please stay tuned not just on Sundays. There are many terrific stories from the Thai press translated on Thaivisa every day. I play my part in this in an effort to bring not just the content of the Thai news to the English speaking world but in trying to instill more flavor and understanding of what makes Thai people tick. 

 

The editorial team at TV are pleased to be offering an increasingly professional as well as entertaining platform for the news. 

 

Rooster

[Stargeezr]

The only swear word I know besides, son teen vervus son tao, is real stupid buffalo, I called a German tourist that who cut in front of me at a grocery mart. The Thais looked at me and I asked the German if he understood, of course not. so the Thai, said, you stupid! The German guys wife said that she agreed, and we all had a chuckle.   Good read Rooster, glad you still have some humour.

Geezer

[Jane Dough]

1 hour ago, orang37 said:

Great read ! imho, expats living here who know the swear words (particularly the "depersonalizing pronouns") should never use them ... unless you like violence, and/or have a death wish.

 

Being aware of their use by Thais ... who are unaware you understand them ... can be useful, but difficult to interpret in context.

 

~o:37;

Generally, as my column this week stated, I have to agree with you. There is very little worse than people who can converse in a few sentences thinking they can make the leap to using swear words. It is hard enough for a native speaker let alone a second language learner. 

 

Knowing the words is an entirely different matter, as you rightly intimate. They can be great indicators of when things are on the verge of or have indeed snapped. 

 

I am admittedly fascinated by the subject, especially how foul language and swearing is used for comic effect. Thai cabaret and some movies are good learning grounds for that. But I would stress that even for comic effect a foreigner has to be well extremely versed in the words, tones, senses (and consequences!!) in order to pull it off. I have triumphed and failed miserably at both in my time!

 

Rooster

[Jane Dough]

5 minutes ago, Stargrazer9889 said:

The only swear word I know besides, son teen vervus son tao, is real stupid buffalo, I called a German tourist that who cut in front of me at a grocery mart. The Thais looked at me and I asked the German if he understood, of course not. so the Thai, said, you stupid! The German guys wife said that she agreed, and we all had a chuckle.   Good read Rooster, glad you still have some humour.

Geezer

Cheers. There was a English language song always playing in the discos in the 1980s (when I was invariably treading the boards) to which all those Thais present would sing the Thai chorus as it sounded to them:

 

Ai hia ai naa ai sat son teen

 

What was the track?, I forget.

 

Rooster

[Jane Dough]

18 minutes ago, Captain 776 said:

My first day in Thailand........over 13 yrs ago........I was warned.

 

NEVER Talk about the Royal Family and especially the King, even if it is an innocent complimentary joke and certainly not ever in a bad way.

 

NEVER insult a Thai.......them losing face can get you hurt or shot.

 

NEVER engage in road rage here........many have a gun in the car or they will go home and get one.

 

And.....never take 2 girls from the same bar.......lolol

 

In 13 yrs, I have never had a problem with any Thai for any reason.

Like almost anywhere else in the world you go........if you mind your own business and be respectful, you will not have any problems.

It was all good advice that you received. 

 

I encapsulated this by my expression "Make trouble - go home in a box". 

 

As a teacher about Thailand to young Thai children I have some amusing tales to tell about some of their comments when topics touched on "delicate" matters. They would put their hand up and say "Khun Khru....my day says...." Myself being English often emboldened them I felt. In these instances the children were always told that this was an inappropriate subject for discussion in front of a class and to see me afterwards. The children concerned were then given an understanding - from a foreigner no less! - of what it is to be Thai. I remember each and every one of those interactions as if it were yesterday.

 

Rooster

[lucifer666]

Does someone actually get paid to write this ??

[PaDavid]

The best read for a few weks Rooster old chap. I was particularly pleased to see my home changwat Loei get one of your rare mentions - though a shame there was no news from it!

 

Your mention of dogs got me going. My pet hate. On a personal level I like them, and provided they appear amenable I generally give them a stroke. But, I am a cyclist (non-motorised variety) which makes me particularly vulnerable to the more scarelous ones. I think of them as tanon dogs, as those living in sois tend not to be too much of a problem. Probably because chasing me too far puts them into enemy territory- ie of a neighbour's dogs. The worst ones generally reside in the more remote properties and it's not unknown for them to chase me for hundreds of meters. I've read on this forum suggestions ranging from proffering treats to spraying noxious substances in the critters' orifices. I've not yet resorted to either.

 

Now, the problem with being on a bicycle is that ankles and calves are particularly vulnerable. On a motorbike they're out of reach, and, in any case you can speed away. On foot you can pick up a stone or stick. I got nipped once and of course this necessitated a visit to my local hospital (Erawan 30 minutes away) for rabies and tetanus shots. I've now developed my own defensive technique. It starts with a low growl, proceeds to a threating roar, and if both these fail to deter, my last resort is to leap off the bike, and keeping it between me and the threatener, to continue shouting which usually attracts someone elses attention. If I see a person in the grounds of the property from which the dogs (there's always more than one) emanated I'll remonstrate with them. Of course this gets the dogs going even more until they are called off 

 

I've considered writing to the local tambons suggesting something needs to be done, but I don't think any of the five through which I cycle would have anyone who could interpret adequately. I've also considered going to the local police, but not sure what, if anything this would achieve. 

 

The whole dog problem is probably one of several reasons why most kids ride motorbikes to school rather than use the pedalled variety, which would be much more beneficial to their health and wellbeing. 

 

I'm not sure I've achieved anything by this rant, but at least iI've got it off my chest!

[PaDavid]

The best read for a few weks Rooster old chap. I was particularly pleased to see my home changwat Loei get one of your rare mentions - though a shame there was no news from it!

 

Your mention of dogs got me going. My pet hate. On a personal level I like them, and provided they appear amenable I generally give them a stroke. But, I am a cyclist (non-motorised variety) which makes me particularly vulnerable to the more scarelous ones. I think of them as tanon dogs, as those living in sois tend not to be too much of a problem. Probably because chasing me too far puts them into enemy territory- ie of a neighbour's dogs. The worst ones generally reside in the more remote properties and it's not unknown for them to chase me for hundreds of meters. I've read on this forum suggestions ranging from proffering treats to spraying noxious substances in the critters' orifices. I've not yet resorted to either.

 

Now, the problem with being on a bicycle is that ankles and calves are particularly vulnerable. On a motorbike they're out of reach, and, in any case you can speed away. On foot you can pick up a stone or stick. I got nipped once and of course this necessitated a visit to my local hospital (Erawan 30 minutes away) for rabies and tetanus shots. I've now developed my own defensive technique. It starts with a low growl, proceeds to a threating roar, and if both these fail to deter, my last resort is to leap off the bike, and keeping it between me and the threatener, to continue shouting which usually attracts someone elses attention. If I see a person in the grounds of the property from which the dogs (there's always more than one) emanated I'll remonstrate with them. Of course this gets the dogs going even more until they are called off 

 

I've considered writing to the local tambons suggesting something needs to be done, but I don't think any of the five through which I cycle would have anyone who could interpret adequately. I've also considered going to the local police, but not sure what, if anything this would achieve. 

 

The whole dog problem is probably one of several reasons why most kids ride motorbikes to school rather than use the pedalled variety, which would be much more beneficial to their health and wellbeing. 

 

I'm not sure I've achieved anything by this rant, but at least iI've got it off my chest!

[Saltire]

A good read, and the first time I have come across your articles in TV. Much more enjoyable than so many typical,  sensational posts. I live in a small village near Sangkhlaburi and as such have been trying hard to learn the lingo, but progress is slow, not helped by the many different languages here (60% Mon/Myanmar, 10% Laos, and the rest a mix of Thai dialects). My g/f helps me a lot and on a daily walk around the village very often as we pass a residence or a group of men/women yakking, she will mutter 'they talk no good!' which means they swear a lot. It seems very common here indeed. You are right, I don't want to know the words as I would be sure to use them innapropriately!

 

I would like to ask you Rooster with your envied fluency, is it always a good thing to understand what people in your company are talking about (esp. if they are talking about you). I have heard people say they sometimes wish they were not so fluent!

 

Anyway, good read I will do a search for your other ramblings.

 

[Jane Dough]

1 hour ago, Saltire said:

A good read, and the first time I have come across your articles in TV. Much more enjoyable than so many typical,  sensational posts. I live in a small village near Sangkhlaburi and as such have been trying hard to learn the lingo, but progress is slow, not helped by the many different languages here (60% Mon/Myanmar, 10% Laos, and the rest a mix of Thai dialects). My g/f helps me a lot and on a daily walk around the village very often as we pass a residence or a group of men/women yakking, she will mutter 'they talk no good!' which means they swear a lot. It seems very common here indeed. You are right, I don't want to know the words as I would be sure to use them innapropriately!

 

I would like to ask you Rooster with your envied fluency, is it always a good thing to understand what people in your company are talking about (esp. if they are talking about you). I have heard people say they sometimes wish they were not so fluent!

 

Anyway, good read I will do a search for your other ramblings.

 

I have never really thought it wasn't good to understand things that are going on around me. When I know I don't want to let it in then I just go into a mode where it becomes background noise, unintelligible. I have played thousands of games of pro Scrabble with Thais in noisy shopping centers - I have learnt to deal with background noise. I have found that people talk about you less than you might think. Quite a lot of foreigners are paranoid. When I do catch people talking about me it is usually harmless and good to make a joke about it. If it is serious I would just smile and maybe log it for future reference...

 

You live in a lovely part of Thailand. When I was at Harrow I visited to set up several charitable projects with people looking after Burmese refugees and at Ban Un-Rak in the town. 

 

Good luck in the future and I hope you continue to enjoy the column. 

 

Rooster

[Curmudgeonly59]

7 hours ago, lucifer666 said:

Does someone actually get paid to write this ??

!!

But good luck to the guy. At least it's original - a large step up from the syndicated, derivative material throughout the rest of the site... 

[surfinglife]

Other than getting poor Slovenians and Slovaks mixed up, an interesting yarn....

[lamyai3]

On 2/24/2019 at 2:55 PM, Jane Dough said:

Ai hia ai naa ai sat son teen

 

What was the track?, I forget.

Bananarama from 1983 - "Na Na, Hey Hey"...?

If I was Thai I'd be tempted to butcher the lyrics thusly. 

[gunderhill]

sticks and stones, unless of course you are on Thai Visa!

[gunderhill]

On 2/24/2019 at 3:32 PM, lucifer666 said:

Does someone actually get paid to write this ??

Raally? would you write this for free? brings up other questions also mind.