Distractions for functioing alcoholics

[corkman]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm a so called "high functioning alcoholic". In theory I have no problem staying off the booze, but find myself drinking and partying out of boredom, especially on  Friday night. 

 

If you are a recovering functioning alcoholic, what do you do to fill the void that used to be filled by drinking & party time? It's not so much that "all I wanna do is party", as it is all I know how to do. 

 

I will go on the occasional drinking session in the future, and that's ok; total abstinence is not my objective here. But if I had things to do, I'd do that instead, more often.

 

Thanks.

 

 

 

 

[StreetCowboy]

Get a bicycle. It won’t stop you drinking, but it will fill you with self-righteous moral dignity as you ride home pissed from the pub.  It’s been a game changer for me.  I’m not sure how helpful that is....

[corkman]

4 minutes ago, StreetCowboy said:

Get a bicycle. It won’t stop you drinking, but it will fill you with self-righteous moral dignity as you ride home pissed from the pub.  It’s been a game changer for me.  I’m not sure how helpful that is....

Haha. Problem there is I would forget where I parked the bicycle!

[StreetCowboy]

2 minutes ago, corkman said:

Haha. Problem there is I would forget where I parked the bicycle!

And you would be steaming by the time you found it... 

[nausea]

Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. Poverty's a good solution; but then to us high functioning alcoholics poverty never seems to come. Like I'm lazy, very lazy; and on those one or two occasions when poverty beckoned I made an effort, cleaned myself up and started mixing it with the best. Dump me in a totally hopeless situation, I'll shine. Ha!

[Yellowtail]

If you're high functioning, how is it you're board on Friday night.

[Thainesss]

On 2/24/2019 at 2:00 PM, corkman said:

Hi everyone,

 

I'm a so called "high functioning alcoholic". In theory I have no problem staying off the booze, but find myself drinking and partying out of boredom, especially on  Friday night. 

 

If you are a recovering functioning alcoholic, what do you do to fill the void that used to be filled by drinking & party time? It's not so much that "all I wanna do is party", as it is all I know how to do. 

 

I will go on the occasional drinking session in the future, and that's ok; total abstinence is not my objective here. But if I had things to do, I'd do that instead, more often.

 

Thanks.

 

On the one hand you are starting to see a problem (and thats good) on the other it isnt bad enough YET to make you want to stop drinking completely. 

 

Alcoholism is progressive, so you can bet it'll get worse and you likely wont stop until you REALLY f-up. I hope it doesn't, but statistically speaking, it probably will. 

 

Boredom is the biggest problem (that you are noticing) and there is ALOT of that to go around in Thailand when you live here full time. 

 

I have "projects" that I work on around the house that require me to read and engage mentally and try to learn stuff. 

[impulse]

In AA, we describe a functioning alcoholic as one whose wife has a good job.

 

I, too was a binge drinker.  I could go for weeks, even months without tying one on.  But once I picked up that first drink, I couldn't predict whether I'd stop at one drink, or stop next Thursday.  I was several months into AA before I realized my definition of alcoholism was messed up- like most people's.

 

For me (and just for me), I took the oath back in 1988 and have saved literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in the past 30 years.  Instead of going out with a few hundred $$$ on a Friday and waking up on Monday with a bunch of ATM withdrawal stubs in my pocket, I go out on Friday with $50 and wake up Monday with some change in my pocket.

 

And the quality of my life and my friends have both improved immensely. 

 

You can try all the things we all tried to moderate our drinking, and best of luck to you.  Or, we've got a seat warmed up if you want to try giving it up completely.  It's entirely up to you.

 

[brokenbone]

for me, it got to the point i just didnt feel like drinking any more, so i picked up a nun for a gf and spent my time & money on her until i lost my will to live. problem solved, no reason to party after that experience

[AlexRich]

4 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

If you're high functioning, how is it you're board on Friday night.

 

Sounds like an alcoholic savant. A boozy Rainman.

[mikey88]

It’s all about age isn’t it.

How old are you...?

If your liver was on the outside so you could see it, you might think differently.

Up until mid 40’s i reckon the damage might be less apparent..

As you age it becomes worse and worse.

Drinking excessively is one of the worst health choices in the world other than ice and oxy.

By the time you get older it’s a full time job...even with good diet and exercise and abstinence...to keep the poor old body functional.

Make a pro life choice.

See a counsellor...get a lifestyle sponsor, join the gym...do yoga.

Throw the filthy poison (because that’s what it really is) in the garbage....

The point of power is always in the present moment.  (LH)

Change.

 

[NoshowJones]

On 2/24/2019 at 5:43 PM, StreetCowboy said:

Get a bicycle. It won’t stop you drinking, but it will fill you with self-righteous moral dignity as you ride home pissed from the pub.  It’s been a game changer for me.  I’m not sure how helpful that is....

Riding a bicycle pissed in amongst traffic???????????????????????

[Farangwithaplan]

It's been interesting journey for me this year with life deciding to make me reevaluate some things. In doing so I considered my use of alcohol. I have worked in industries for many years where business was done over beer, wine and whisky. I've never been one to crave a drink, but I have certainly been in the binge drinker category.

 

During my reevaluation  - unrelated to alcohol - I started observing different aspects of my life. I especially started observing people around me and I suddenly realised what me and many others I know took as normal behaviour is far from normal when relating to alcohol. I decided there and then I would see if I could stop drinking for a month.

 

Suprisingly I did the month without issue. Somethings I did notice were:

• On my way home from being out somewhere I unconsciously found myself from time to time in a 7-11 at the alcohol fridge about to open the door before I realised what I was doing.
• In the first two weeks or so, I'd often find myself thinking it was beer o'clock and having to remember I was on my 1 month hiatus. The interesting thing for me is that my mind has started assocating alcohol memories in a different way. It is hard to explain correctly but the best I can say is that when I get the thought of buying beer, my internal imagery seems to show me buying the alcohol as if I was imagining watching a movie of me buying alcohol. Almost like I disassociated from the act. Anyway.
• My sleep got really messed up after a few days of no alcohol and continued for about 10 days. That was really confronting. Then one night, I just slept like a baby again. (I don't mean waking up 3 times for a feed and crapping myself twice ???? )

 

After 1 month I met with an old acquaintance and after he shared some good news, A couple of beers appeared. They had already been opened and I took one. I wrapped up the conversation, finished the beer and left. This situation would have normally have ended up having 6-8 or 8-10 beers in the past. But the other interesting thing was my heart wasn't in it. I was a bit tired and as I walked home, I considered stopping for another beer but somehow I just kept walking. Slept like a baby.

 

The next day I wanted to test myself out. I have started treating this as an experiment and I wanted to know more. So I stopped at a place I have regularly stopped at in the past, ordered a beer and sat back and relaxed. Without much conscious thought about half way through the large bottle I realised I really didn't want it so I paid the bill, got up and left.

 

On the walk home I was more in tune on how the alcohol had effected me. That is something I would not have been aware of in the past until I had had about 6 beers or so.

 

 

All in all, I am okay. I don't intend to stop drinking, but I am maybe a little relieved that stopping and controlling my drinking wasn't as difficult as I must have secretly thought it might have been. Boredom is something I will need to be vigilant about and I imagine I will increase my casual amount of exercise that I did in the past to more regular amounts. I think I will end up playing more sports like badminton and less time at the driving range. Drinking while hitting balls at the driving range was often something to do when I didn't want to just sit and drink and eat and chat but still wanted a few or more beers.

 

I'm going to continue to monitor myself. I will be interested to know how differently I am thinking in 12 months to what I am now, and to how I was thinking about 2 months ago.

[BobBKK]

On 7/28/2019 at 11:25 AM, Farangwithaplan said:

It's been interesting journey for me this year with life deciding to make me reevaluate some things. In doing so I considered my use of alcohol. I have worked in industries for many years where business was done over beer, wine and whisky. I've never been one to crave a drink, but I have certainly been in the binge drinker category.

 

During my reevaluation  - unrelated to alcohol - I started observing different aspects of my life. I especially started observing people around me and I suddenly realised what me and many others I know took as normal behaviour is far from normal when relating to alcohol. I decided there and then I would see if I could stop drinking for a month.

 

Suprisingly I did the month without issue. Somethings I did notice were:

• On my way home from being out somewhere I unconsciously found myself from time to time in a 7-11 at the alcohol fridge about to open the door before I realised what I was doing.
• In the first two weeks or so, I'd often find myself thinking it was beer o'clock and having to remember I was on my 1 month hiatus. The interesting thing for me is that my mind has started assocating alcohol memories in a different way. It is hard to explain correctly but the best I can say is that when I get the thought of buying beer, my internal imagery seems to show me buying the alcohol as if I was imagining watching a movie of me buying alcohol. Almost like I disassociated from the act. Anyway.
• My sleep got really messed up after a few days of no alcohol and continued for about 10 days. That was really confronting. Then one night, I just slept like a baby again. (I don't mean waking up 3 times for a feed and crapping myself twice ???? )

 

After 1 month I met with an old acquaintance and after he shared some good news, A couple of beers appeared. They had already been opened and I took one. I wrapped up the conversation, finished the beer and left. This situation would have normally have ended up having 6-8 or 8-10 beers in the past. But the other interesting thing was my heart wasn't in it. I was a bit tired and as I walked home, I considered stopping for another beer but somehow I just kept walking. Slept like a baby.

 

The next day I wanted to test myself out. I have started treating this as an experiment and I wanted to know more. So I stopped at a place I have regularly stopped at in the past, ordered a beer and sat back and relaxed. Without much conscious thought about half way through the large bottle I realised I really didn't want it so I paid the bill, got up and left.

 

On the walk home I was more in tune on how the alcohol had effected me. That is something I would not have been aware of in the past until I had had about 6 beers or so.

 

 

All in all, I am okay. I don't intend to stop drinking, but I am maybe a little relieved that stopping and controlling my drinking wasn't as difficult as I must have secretly thought it might have been. Boredom is something I will need to be vigilant about and I imagine I will increase my casual amount of exercise that I did in the past to more regular amounts. I think I will end up playing more sports like badminton and less time at the driving range. Drinking while hitting balls at the driving range was often something to do when I didn't want to just sit and drink and eat and chat but still wanted a few or more beers.

 

I'm going to continue to monitor myself. I will be interested to know how differently I am thinking in 12 months to what I am now, and to how I was thinking about 2 months ago.

Good for you. The biggest issue, for me, is social. There is nothing more boring than having a night out with a non-drinker, or a great meal with no wine. There is no 'right' answer my father drank cocktails whilst making dinner, 2/3 bottles of wine a day and died at 92. Other have gone nuts and died at 52. I never drink day times and don't drink every day but, I guess I am a binge drinker, and I love it. Best wishes and I'm sure your present decision is influenced by the 'life evaluation thing' that's hit you this year. 

If I started drinking daytimes like many I see in bars along the city streets or was into a bottle vodka a day I'd be seriously worried otherwise life is too short and if I take a year off the end who cares? Blood tests once a year and enjoy!