BritManToo Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 23 minutes ago, Ctkong said: I guess money is more important to you than your love to her. Money is more important then anything. Try living without any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritManToo Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 7 hours ago, richard_smith237 said: Some of the attitudes make the mind boggle... If you consider women cattle, thats what you'll end up with, someone who is viewed as a commodity by themselves and their family, consequently the 'purchasing party' is just the customer. It's the women who ask for money, making themselves into products. I would prefer not to be her customer, but needs must. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mavideol Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 best decision of your life, good luck....une de perdue dix de retrouvees Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4MyEgo Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 7 hours ago, richard_smith237 said: It would seem that in the case of the Op his (ex) girlfriends family (auntie) had little respect for him and saw this as little more than a financial opportunity. This is where the tradition of sin-sod has become bastardized as opportunists sweep in use 'culture' and 'tradition' to excuse their greed, it happens in Thai on Thai relationships too. Fortunately for me, my wife did not ask or request a Sin Sod, it was me who asked her how much she would like after I asked her if she would like to marry, her reply was "up to you", she was quite surprised that I knew about the Sin Sod, having a Greek background, we call it a prika, you know 2 donkeys and a cow in the old days. I provided her parents, poor rural farmers with little more than the usual rice fields, and 4 daughters, one married to another farang who gave no Sin Sod, but built a house for his wife, one of the others had a farang and milked him for a house and other things, but he wanted to have and bring his other 3 wives to live with him, as it was found out later, so good on her, the last one couldn't hold down the farang she got, perhaps he woke up to the fact. I provided her with 200,000 for the parents and 300,000 for her twin boys future education, they were 3 at the time, now 15 and she still has half the amount that was originally given to her for their education. The total of 500,000 was put down at the village ceremony for all to see, I didn't care as long as she banked the 300,000 by the close of business and it was, she is very careful not to touch the boys education money unless it's for school. The 200,000 the parents received was gone within a month, show, show, show, part of the culture. If you end up with a good woman, like me, your blessed, some may say 500,000 baht was a lot, but to me, it was what my previous wedding cost me in 1987 and it was about 2 months wages at the time, considering the baulk of the money has gone towards the twins education, I believe it was money worth investing, besides, the Mrs is worth far more than that, she has repaid me in more than enough ways in our 12 years of marriage, even though I have built her a palace of which I and our daughters live in with the twins, her new car etc etc etc, I maintain to only invest 10% of my worth in any relationship, because everyone needs a fall back position and if we go all the way, which I am 100% sure we will, she will get the lot ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quandow Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 I knew a guy who told his fiance SHE would have to pay whatever sin sod the family demanded. And she DID! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToddinChonburi Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 I think it's crazy to even think about paying sin sod. Tell them to pay you for taking care of her the rest of her life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctkong Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 3 hours ago, BritManToo said: Money is more important then anything. Try living without any. Maybe so for some people living on the edge. I have about 10 million $ gave 5 million to first wife now still ok. It don’t have to be an extreme case. Us$5 mil is enough for a good life here in Thailand. Maybe not in the west or states. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritManToo Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 2 minutes ago, Ctkong said: Maybe so for some people living on the edge. I have about 10 million $ gave 5 million to first wife now still ok. It don’t have to be an extreme case. Us$5 mil is enough for a good life here in Thailand. Maybe not in the west or states. Robin Williams did that 3 times then hung himself, surprising how quickly the money goes with each wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctkong Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 28 minutes ago, ToddinChonburi said: I think it's crazy to even think about paying sin sod. Tell them to pay you for taking care of her the rest of her life. Taking care of her means ? Free house keeping, free sex, free cook and free live-in maid. All these for 3 meals a day? I think she can do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctkong Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 3 minutes ago, BritManToo said: Robin Williams did that 3 times then hung himself, surprising how quickly the money goes with each wife. A man married three times is sure to go down the pauper’s road. Once is enough to teach you a lesson which you commit in your youth but later years...? You have only yourself to blame for going down the same route again. Now I only have a long term partner not wife. No more legal wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiBunny Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 1 minute ago, Ctkong said: A man married three times is sure to go down the pauper’s road. Once is enough to teach you a lesson which you commit in your youth but later years...? You have only yourself to blame for going down the same route again. Now I only have a long term partner not wife. No more legal wife. Unfortunately for that theory, in many countries now where cohabitants end the relationship and there's a squabble over assets, the courts treat them as if they were legally married if the relationship is longer than (pick a number) two years. Both New Zealand and Australia are well down that path Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wreckingcountry Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 Using the word “sod” from this crazy ritual I would have said “s** off”Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4675636b596f75 Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 On 3/13/2019 at 6:03 PM, Alainpm said: she said we would first live in France then go to Thailand and live in her old Isaan village, (with no farangs around except one Englishman of whom I saw the house but I never met). The local men get drunk every time the can and the evening talks with the locals can rapidely get heated as I experienced one time when talking became increasingly loud. They didn't really appreciate the French wine I had brought, but drank it politely. But they preferred Thai "whissakee" and beer. I asked my gf : "What will I do there in the village all my time ? "You will have a pool and I will care you everything, I am a nurse". You can take the girl out of Thailand, but you can't take Thailand out of the girl. I suspect you got yourself a memorizer. She was good at test taking, but what about critical thinking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fex Bluse Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 22 hours ago, richard_smith237 said: Saving Face for the family ??? Total BS, it’s the Wife’s family trying to hustle you and hide it in culture. If they cared only about face the money would be returned to you. I married into a Relatively wealthy Thai family... Politicians & Dept Primeminister and about 800-1000ppl attended the wedding - it was fairly high profile, hit some of the papers etc... Sinsot was 400,000 baht & returned. I considered more showing off and vulgar. I also had one condition - under the premise that from my culture it’s considered crass to mention money & show off there was to be no mention of the Sin-Sod, it could be briefly displayed at the engagement ceremony as tradition dictates, but no talk or announcement of amounts etc... that solved any potential face issue.... The in-laws are great and we enjoy a mutually respectful relationship, they pop over to see their grandson a few times a week. I also married into a very wealthy Thai family. And, while I've always had plenty of money of my own, there was no sin-sot. Was never mentioned. Get along with the family just fine. I feel like the sin-sot thing is relevant much more so for the lower socioeconomic Thais, but obviously not in all cases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigz Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 10 hours ago, Ctkong said: Sin sot is heavy in Thai culture. I pity the poor Thai lass who met you. She was doing her best to pacify the family .even pitting in someof her money to make it work. I guess money is more important to you than your love to her. Maybe it is not true love? Many posters here make fun and disdainful replies about sin sot which shows their lack of understanding of Thai culture and their ‘female buffalo’ concept. Once you take away their money making buffalo, who is going to take her place but the sin sot. If you value the western female culture of no sin sot, then marry one of them. Why are you looking for eastern female? A liberated self independent Thai ladies that I had met with also came with their western feminist ideas. No different from western females. But that's not true. You are not taking away their money making buffalo. With the farang on her side she will be able to support the family even more. Also as other mentioned sin sod is usually just for show and after the ceremony it is returned. An example: Had a wedding a few months ago in my village. Both groom and bride are Thai. The bride is 18, stunningly beautiful, no previous marriage, no kids. The sin sod was 3 bahts of gold and 150000 baht cash. The groom's parents are well of, the bride's not so much. The groom's parents bought the gold and put the cash on show. After the ceremony the newly wed couple got the gold and 50 thousand cash for themselves and 100 thousand was returned. Nothing for the bride's family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 18 hours ago, Ctkong said: Sin sot is heavy in Thai culture. I pity the poor Thai lass who met you. She was doing her best to pacify the family .even pitting in someof her money to make it work. I guess money is more important to you than your love to her. Maybe it is not true love? Many posters here make fun and disdainful replies about sin sot which shows their lack of understanding of Thai culture and their ‘female buffalo’ concept. Once you take away their money making buffalo, who is going to take her place but the sin sot. If you value the western female culture of no sin sot, then marry one of them. Why are you looking for eastern female? A liberated self independent Thai ladies that I had met with also came with their western feminist ideas. No different from western females. The origimal OP headline stated advice needed, when in fact no advice was needed as the OP had made a decision. I therefore asked him what advice he needed if he had already made that decision. I also paid sin sod by the way and my wife has joint ownership of all of our assets, so she doesnt need your pity either. Take a deep breath and relax a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alainpm Posted March 21, 2019 Author Share Posted March 21, 2019 I wrote earlier that the "advice needed " was mistakingly added by the admin when posting my article on front page. Why i decided to quit : Sin Sod--> i agreed for the 500.000 thb. She added 200.000 for her mortgage (car). so total 700.000. Plus the jewellery (that we could sell back later i concede). Plus sending 7000 thb a month to the aunt once back to France together. As if sin sod is not enough ! Aunt doesn't need the money. She is single and was never married and works also as a nurse. Plus, she doesn't like me (The first time I met with the family i wore a very cheap watch on purpose As they judge by the appearance. The aunt categorized me as a cheap Charlie. I'm happy she did. She is a cheap soul herself). And i needed the money more than the aunt to raise our potential family ( the girl was 27yo , nurse, so potentially kind of mature and responsible). Also my ex future wife pressed me to buy the land for the house pretty soon, after our marriage, "before prices rocket up", then build the house 5 years later on it. She showed me the map of the kind of house she dreamed of : 3 bathrooms, 5 bedrooms. Western architect design style. I learned also that the aunt was supposed to come and live with us ! what a pathetic future scenario. I willl say that the girl is not the "poor lass" that Ctkong is talking about. I was very good with her and respected her. Which was not always the case in return but i won't enter into details here so please don't ask. She has her focus on her goals. But her flaw is that she forgot the daily life aspect and was obsessed with her goal. She talked a lot about the marriage details 1 year in advance, about what to buy, etc etc.. the ceremony was her obsession. hey girl calm down, the future is being built right now. Every day small respect mark and aspects of relationship is what cements a long and strong relationship !! In a few words : i would pay sin sod "to take the girl away", but the girl comes back to her family 5 years later with a new house with free lodging for the parasite aunt, the husband confined to the pool.. Sorry i didn't buy that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritManToo Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 1 hour ago, Alainpm said: Every day small respect mark and aspects of relationship is what cements a long and strong relationship Nah, frequent sex cements a long and strong relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alainpm Posted March 21, 2019 Author Share Posted March 21, 2019 1 minute ago, BritManToo said: Nah, frequent sex cements a long and strong relationship. Haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FruitPudding Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 On 3/18/2019 at 2:45 PM, crazykopite said: If I understood you correctly you say you left the girl and that you are single rather than pay what I call is a ransom, if that is correct I say well done at last a foreigner who hasn’t left his brain at the airport of departure . My brother is 40 something , never married , works in Dubai but loves to come to Thailand for a burst every 3 months he loves his Thai woman but not that much to marry them and they love him because he spoils them rotten when he is here . He has recently been attracted to woman from the Philippines so I don’t know what his current plans are but he says he loves there cooking and F - - - - - G so I guess he is a happy guy . Your last sentence made me smile. F.......king is the easist thing to do. Easier than driving to the post office. Easier than washing the dishes. It is even pleasurable. But it is also a currency; it has value and they know it. That is why under particular circumstances, it ain't happening. Most guys are so stupid to give too much value away and then they get the cold shoulder. After he gets married and commits, he may be finding himself eating super noodles and jerking to porn (while paying for everything for his queen....and cleaning up after her). He may need to put love aside for a moment and think objectively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hgma Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 On 3/18/2019 at 1:23 PM, Bob12345 said: My wife is a doctor and she was 1 baht "cheaper" (999.999 baht - lucky number BS). Plus the family returned the money the same day. You did well, and be glad you found out "quickly" how the family sees you. Same here.....not the amount but the total sum we had on display during the ceremony was returned in full the next day......NEVER a point of discussion in our family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Weird Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 On 3/18/2019 at 3:16 PM, Aussieroaming said: Why do you need advise, you left her He didn't ask for advice, he was telling a story...about what happened to him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 8 hours ago, Just Weird said: He didn't ask for advice, he was telling a story...about what happened to him Actually in his original title header he did ask for advice, note that the last 2 words were "advice needed" This is his (OP) reply to me when I asked him why he needed advice. The "advice needed" words were mistakenly added by those who posted it on the headline. Mai pen rai I look forward to your statement retraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kieran00001 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 On 3/13/2019 at 7:43 PM, BritManToo said: Should have just paid her for a 'night' at a time. Great, and no doubt you see nothing immoral in economic migrants soliciting developing world women for sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritManToo Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 hours ago, Kieran00001 said: Great, and no doubt you see nothing immoral in economic migrants soliciting developing world women for sex? They usually ask me. You think paying sin sot isn't paying for sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Weird Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 hours ago, Aussieroaming said: Actually in his original title header he did ask for advice, note that the last 2 words were "advice needed" This is his (OP) reply to me when I asked him why he needed advice. The "advice needed" words were mistakenly added by those who posted it on the headline. Mai pen rai I look forward to your statement retraction. Here's what was posted in the OP when I commented on your post... "I was planning to marry a thai nurse, 28 year old. We knew each other sINCE 2017; January 2018 She agreed to leave her work and come and live with be in France the next year (this year 2019..) . i WAS 49 at the time ( january 2018 ). Her aunt (who raised her for most of her childhood) required a 1.000.000 thb sin sod. "Because the girl was the only child and useful to the family". The money was not supposed to be returned to me but be shared between the aunt, the mother and the father of the girl and another aunt. I refused categorically and my gf offered it to be lowered to 700.000. That still was too much to me. Then she said 500.000. I said "'maybe". Then she added 200.000 because she had a mortgage to reimburse for her car . So we were back to 700.000. Magics ! .... Also, 100.000 thb of gold jewellery (18 not 9 carats, she precised) was "indispensable for the wedding day" because without that flashy jewelery she would lose face in front of her family as i would fall in the category of "cheap Charlie", and also our marriage ceremony would look ridiculous. I found this preposterous lack of manner obviously shocking and due to be an long time reader of TV testimonies there was no way i would fall into this trap I am planning to retire in Thailand within the next 5/10 years, she said we would first live in France then go to Thailand and live in her old Isaan village, (with no farangs around except one Englishman of whom I saw the house but I never met). The local men get drunk every time the can and the evening talks with the locals can rapidely get heated as I experienced one time when talking became increasingly loud. They didn't really appreciate the French wine I had brought, but drank it politely. But they preferred Thai "whissakee" and beer. I asked my gf : "What will I do there in the village all my time ? "You will have a pool and I will care you everything, I am a nurse". Spending my poor last decade or so near the pool then face down in it was not my cup of chlorinated water. I had enough of this farce, and seeing how far it had gone in such no sense and greed, I left the girl although there was good alchemy between us. ... Cheers all I'm single ! ????"... ...and there was nothing in the thread title at that time asking for advice either, so no retraction for you to look forward to, obviously. I stand by my comment which was 100% accurate when I made it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC 71 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 We borrowed money from my Father In Law,then gave it back after the ceremony. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kieran00001 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, BritManToo said: They usually ask me. You think paying sin sot isn't paying for sex? I am specifically referencing your comment that he should have, instead of proposing marriage proposed prostitution. From your reply I take it as a no. I believe your ilk's time will come in Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritManToo Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Kieran00001 said: I am specifically referencing your comment that he should have, instead of proposing marriage proposed prostitution. From your reply I take it as a no. I believe your ilk's time will come in Thailand. So paying for a wife isn't prostitution? My ilk ....... you mean fathers of Thai children? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kieran00001 Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 13 minutes ago, BritManToo said: So paying for a wife isn't prostitution? My ilk ....... you mean fathers of Thai children? Again, I am specifically referencing your comment suggesting that instead of proposing to the nurse he should have solicited her into prostitution. And by your ilk, I mean economic migrants who come to Thailand thinking there is nothing wrong with soliciting women for sex. Nothing to do with your kids so please at least try to have enough dignity not to hide behind them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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