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What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?  A supreme liter.


When my wife found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline, she hit the roof. 


"Doctor, there's a patient on Line 1 that says he's invisible" 
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now." 


I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.  They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.


Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks.


Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?  He finally worked it out with a pencil. 

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