Jump to content
BANGKOK
Elkski

I worry daughter is to generous to Mom and family.

Recommended Posts

On 3/19/2019 at 2:24 PM, BritManToo said:

It's always free, unless the person is really stupid, or really rich.

Wrong

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, kensisaket said:

Allotting 3000 baht a month for mom is not realistic. 

I give my former Mil 3,000bht/month (nothing this month because she's here visiting the kids for the school holidays).

In exchange she gave her farm to my son, got rid of the wife but kept the farm and kid, and Mil. 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, myshem said:

If you choose such an old woman, why not trying to find an orphan ? Since I only do the ones with as little family as possible my life is easier, and I am all what they expect and hope, as I am the only one in their life.

It's easy to find 40 years old women with dead parents, just try more !

 

'I only do the ones'.  Gee I bet the Thai girls are beating a path to your front door. 

Any wonder the Thais hate some farang? What an attitude and sad outlook on life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, emptypockets said:

'I only do the ones'.  Gee I bet the Thai girls are beating a path to your front door. 

Any wonder the Thais hate some farang? What an attitude and sad outlook on life.

I only do the ones that weigh less than 50Kg.

Don't care about how many family members they have, unless they're female and under 50Kg they won't be getting any money.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

I seriously doubt if some of the posters here have been to Thailand at all,  it if they have they have only been to Pattaya.  If you think a 41 year old Thai lady is old you really have no idea.  In our extended family there are two, twin, Thai ladies of 40 years old.  They are beautiful and could hold their own against other women much younger than themselves.  One just go married. If I wasn't married I'd have a crack at the other one. 

Edited by emptypockets
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I only do the ones that weigh less than 50Kg.

Don't care about how many family members they have, unless they're female and under 50Kg they won't be getting any money.

I guess the customer is always right. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, emptypockets said:

If you think a 41 year old Thai lady is old you really have no idea.

I think all 41 year old women are old, how else would you class a group/class of people that  can no longer breed?

Edited by BritManToo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gov care is for Thai poor people not just gov employees....

 

your GF is being used by her family b/c she can....whisk her away to paradise w/ no phone or internet connection....don’t support a dead beat family!

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, emptypockets said:

I seriously doubt if some of the posters here have been to Thailand at all,  it if they have they have only been to Pattaya.  If you think a 41 year old Thai lady is old you really have no idea.  In our extended family there are two, twin, Thai ladies of 40 years old.  They are beautiful and could hold their own against other women much younger than themselves.  One just go married. If I wasn't married I'd have a crack at the other one. 

i sort of got interested in the twins right up until you said one was married

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks guys.  Some good advice.   It seems like family size and financial status and being over 40 many have said she will be set in her ways.   Stubborn and opinionated.   I can do better. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Elkski said:

Thanks guys.  Some good advice.   It seems like family size and financial status and being over 40 many have said she will be set in her ways.   Stubborn and opinionated.   I can do better. 

No surprise there then - good luck - I feel the same is possibly true for lady - win win 😃

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sure there are plenty of stupid farang she could find.  Some more rich and generous than me. 

It's so odd that if man is cautious he is criticized.   And if a man gave the farm away and is crying he is told how stupid he was.    

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/17/2019 at 5:19 AM, Elkski said:

We are talking about  9-15k a quarter .   But that means I'm thinking 9 and she is thinking 15. 

What supplement food items are you sending?   

 

I do worry about the family emergency. Sure gets mad because I talk bad about her family when I ask and try to plan for something that hasn't happened. 

 

I guess the fact that I'm having these conversations with this women is a big red flag. She has admitted to feeling the need to send mom money and has a long history of this on her own. 

 

I guess this is revealing my selfishness to her and you guys. So be it.   I have thought I should tell her whatever we send your mother we will send mine.  So we will have to eat out 8 times a month less of course I don't like to eat out two times a month so you will be cooking every night.   There are two daughters and supposedly they would inherit the farm.  I want to tell her if she donates more to Mom than her sister she should get more land then her sister. Maybe I should tell her we can make arrangements for the money we send Mom that is more than your sister sendwe buy more land each month. 

This is how my stingy logical mind works.  I guess currently they don't discuss how much each sibling gives mom.   

and I should add it does not appear the amount of money she has given is based on Mom's asking or needs.  It's more a face generosity thing. and when I asked why doesn't the farm make enough money she says it loses money but it provides rice for all the family to eat.  so I will be paying for how many people's bags of rice in the village and family?  But this type of logic doesn't work I'm pretty sure.

We have owned a rice farm for years and it is exactly as you describe.

 

The farm makes enough rice to feed an extended family of 100+ every year, with some left over to sell.

 

We have never expected a profit and have never received anything from this farm aside from the satisfaction of feeding the family.

 

It seems every year at planting time we also cover the cost of the seed, fertilizer, machinery etc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/17/2019 at 6:44 AM, Elkski said:

Skally and Jay thanks very much.  

I am putting my engineering training and frugal nature into this.  I know many say just follow your heart.  

I am retired although working like a dog as that goes.  Living in Utah of all places to put down roots.  

I am considering racking a few more years of work if I do bring a woman to USA.  I do see myself moving to the woman's home country after more confidence exist in a relationship.  

Some additional facts I've learned just now. Mom has a very big family like 13 brothers and sisters only a few are alive now. My girlfriend's mom has no grandchildren but lots of her siblings have grandchildren.  The village helps harvest mom's rice and gets 40% take.  Mom doesn't sell any of her 60 bags of rice because she gives it away to family. From my prior research into rice farming and talking to other women about their harvests and prices I know rice was about 10 baht a kilogram and rice bags 60 kg. You're probably seeing where I'm going with this logic.  yes my rough calculations are mom is giving away 25 to 35 thousand baht of rice each year. these calculations may be off but the point is my girlfriend is paying for everybody's rice as well as all the drinks for her brother and sister who do not contribute much to Mom.   I actually think the 40-60 split is too favorable for the village people. I don't think the village would be too happy to hear we are hiring outside company to harvest the rice and Mom will be selling her rice this year and in the future.  I don't think my thought process and Thailand will be a very good match.  As painful as I feel right now I think I'm going to have to cut this woman. 

Additionally I observed many of the village cows grazing on Mom's land last songkran.  When I asked about this and inquired if people pay to graze on Mom's land she said no everyone kind of shares things in the village.  I personally saw her give out about 20,000 baht during songkran to various people and her mom. I spent 1500 baht to modernize mom sink with a sprayer and high faucet that other villagers wanted to copy. I love to go to market and we bought seafood and helped cook  dinner for about 15 people. I spent most of two days of my time learning how to harvest bamboo to make repairs to bamboo chairs her late father made 15 years ago. I supposedly was the first farang in that village much less her bedroom.   I met this woman over a year ago. and we have been conversing for that much time and I have visited her four different trips since.  I have no doubt she has sent some number between 3000 and 10000 bought a month 4 more than 10 years. This represents from 30 to 50% of her salary. She lives a very austere life as I mentioned earlier. She shares a fan room with no kitchen in BKK. 

I have been inspired by her generosity.  I'm trying to convince her our future , my future must come first.  I just don't think her mind works this way. 

You have to have a desire to marry her and her whole family.

 

If you cannot accept this concept, the relationship will fail.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/17/2019 at 7:05 AM, Elkski said:

am a cautious man. I may be in love but not blind love.  She maybe special but I know there are many to choose from.  She has lived a very austere life mainly due to sending so much to support mom and or family.  She has 3 siblings,  none have government jobs so mom has no government health care.  It seems my gal is only sibling who gives.  She is a non drinker so it makes me sad to see sister drinking.   And mom.  I have not met two brothers.  But one drinks and Gambles.   He has been real sick 2 times with liver failure.   My logic is that my GF pays for this drinking. 

 

Regardless of the merits of your lady, I'm pretty sure if you go down that road, it's going to be the gift that never stops giving and giving and giving and giving (to her family).... Did I add on enough "givings"???

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...