Does anyone else practice 'detachment' in order to keep sanity whilst living in LOS

[davidst01]

I read recently a comment:

 

'I feel an educated person who cares about quality and correctness would go absolutely insane dealing with many Thais if he didn't practice avoidance and detachment.'

 

I really relate to this comment and find myself getting frustrated sometimes living in Thailand.  I cant leave bc I have a wife and child.             

 

I have a mantra which I have to say to myself often... ' I have to lower my expectations'. 

 

Does anyone else think its sometimes hard living in this country?

[robblok]

Unlike you I could leave tomorrow, so I am staying here despite of the lower expectations. Still some things are better here others are not. 

 

I have lowered my expectations when I first came here it drove me mad but not anymore. I adapted accepted that there are things i cannot change. 

[laislica]

Yes me too.

I married a Thai 6 years ago and promptly took her to live with me in Spain.

We only visit Thailand for holidays so she can reconnect with her family and friends.

Thailand is too expensive compared to Spain too.

Spain has proper seasons and the language is so much easier than Thai.

When in Thailand and out and about, my wife has to constantly remind me not to shout at stupid vehicle drivers, for my own safety/.

Roads in Thailand are a nightmare and immigration rule changes make those expats who live here full time, live under The Sword of Damocles!

 

 

[CharlieH]

"grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference"

 

Often its ones attitude that needs to change, not the environment.

[brokenbone]

i have only negative expectations after my last gf

 and so my expectations cant dip any lower.

 

only thing difficult here is visum uncertainty

[Nyezhov]

13 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Often its ones attitude that needs to change, not the environment.

My rules of life:

 

1. Sooner or later, the weather sucks everywhere.

2. You make the best of what you get.

3. Every place in the world sucks in some fashion, otherwise you wouldnt be somewhere else.

4. Never cut your ties.

5. Life is to short to live as a walking unhappy bitch fest.

[nikmar]

I have a "special place" in my mind that I go to at times of sttress. Example, the Skytrain or sitting with the wife as she watches Thai TV. 

But i did the same in the UK as well. 

[Kwasaki]

31 minutes ago, davidst01 said:

'I feel an educated person who cares about quality and correctness would go absolutely insane dealing with many Thais if he didn't practice avoidance and detachment.'

I have a mantra

I think an educated person would know there's a culture difference, they either can adjust or leave.

My mantra is " WOOSAH ". ????

[Nyezhov]

Just now, nikmar said:

I have a "special place" in my mind that I go to at times of sttress. Example, the Skytrain or sitting with the wife as she watches Thai TV. 

But i did the same in the UK as well. 

Dude, all I have IS Thai TV (except for BEIN) and let me tell you, the Soap Operas are great. And I dont speak Thai. Chicks in Sarongs with black teeth poisoning each other and screetching and howling and waving choppers and evil stares! Killer. I had this girl over one night and she walked right to the TV and flipped it on and just stared for like an hour.

[CGW]

40 minutes ago, davidst01 said:

Does anyone else think its sometimes hard living in this country?

There are certainly times I truly believe I am surrounded by aliens 

Thankfully I have the resources to leave when I want, but after over 30 years here I look at places like the UK and think I would be even more "alienated"! 

It would be depressing if i had no options! ????

 

[Youlike]

Many times i feel like i'm the only one without the syndrome of down.

[KMartinHandyman]

“In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king”.

[xylophone]

1 hour ago, davidst01 said:

'I feel an educated person who cares about quality and correctness would go absolutely insane dealing with many Thais if he didn't practice avoidance and detachment.'

Agree with that comment, and I find that I have to sometimes "concentrate" to live my life here, around all the crap that is going on, and accept it for what it is and just utter, TIT after all, so it's to be expected!

[gerry1953]

^{My method of retaining my sanity is to spend half my time in my own country.  Even though I live in a Isaan provincial capital city (pop 30K) after nearly 6 months I look forward to returning to the sanity, non corrupt envoirment, cleanliness and better general living conditions of the general population.  After 6 months of "normalcy", cleanliness and natural beauty in Canada I am ready to return back to our house in Isaan for another 6 months with the "Aliens" and their culture?  This works well for me and I do have my Thai wife in Canada for 5 months plus each year.  In short I can enjoy about 6 months in each country and enjoy living and returning to both.  I guess if you hated your own country with that being the reason you left it would limit your options.}

Edited March 21, 2019 by gerry1953

[jvs]

I have not lowered my expectations at all,they are still up there.

I have however narrowed the circle of people i expect things from.

Very easy to do,in Farangland i did not choose dealing with idiots and same here.

You will never change Thailand,Thailand will change you!!

Of course i have changed,i am much more easy going and think,oh well maybe tomorrow.

That i learned from Thailand and i really appreciate it.

We came here to live in a totally different culture,it takes some adjustment but i like it here.

[Nyezhov]

27 minutes ago, CGW said:

There are certainly times I truly believe I am surrounded by aliens

I totally feel that way all the time, which is why the little petty annoyances just roll off my back. Its like im on this alien planet where folks look sort of like me and even speak my language, yet at the same time are so totally alien to my westerness as to make me just go, wow dude, thats cool! Thats alien! Like, I walk out of my condo and the first thing I see is a big old shrine all festooned with flowers and suchlike. Red soda pop. I love it. I have been seeing stuff like that for 25 years and it still makes me smile. Its a different planet! Even their feet are different!

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, davidst01 said:

I have a mantra which I have to say to myself often... ' I have to lower my expectations'. 

I find myself having to do the same when conversing with certain posters on TVF. 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, davidst01 said:

I read recently a comment:

 

'I feel an educated person who cares about quality and correctness would go absolutely insane dealing with many Thais if he didn't practice avoidance and detachment.'

 

I really relate to this comment and find myself getting frustrated sometimes living in Thailand.  I cant leave bc I have a wife and child.             

 

I have a mantra which I have to say to myself often... ' I have to lower my expectations'. 

 

Does anyone else think its sometimes hard living in this country?

When I read news about the UK and the USA I am happy I don't live over there.

Crazy things happen all over the world, not just in Thailand.

Thailand is far away from perfect but it still gives many of us enough opportunities to enjoy our lives.

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, robblok said:

Unlike you I could leave tomorrow, so I am staying here despite of the lower expectations. Still some things are better here others are not. 

 

I have lowered my expectations when I first came here it drove me mad but not anymore. I adapted accepted that there are things i cannot change. 

Well said but I add a bit more: 

 

- Societal / personal expectations differ in different countries and in different societies.

 

No one 'model' is perfect and all societies have the right to make priorities / see different values etc.  And I now very much appreciate the way my parents approached this subject, here's an example:

 

I was a kid / a teenager in Australia had assisted migration policies and activities to try to increase the Australian population (it was often also spoken of as the 'white australia policy' which I will leave for a different and important discussion).

 

We lived in an isolated small city where employment was openly slated as 'for locals only'.

 

The assisted migration policy had already been in place and very active for many many years.

 

Suddenly a family of Italian migrants (husband, wife and from memory 3 small school aged kids) bought a nice house with a big yard about 4 houses down from our family house. They all spoke perfect English plus of course Italian, and other European languages. They were the first assisted migration family to ever some to our small city.

 

They were instantly ostracized by their immediate neighbors. They enrolled their kids in school and instantly mobs of parents demanded that the headmaster refuse to allow them to start studies. Their arguments:

 

- 'They will teach my kids to be thieves...'

- 'How can they study, Italians can't speak English...' (the fact that they could all speak excellent English was ignored, almost to the point they are not allowed to speak English, they're foreigners).

 - nasty comments were painted on their fence.

 

and a lot more, and the negatives were growing more.

 

They survived quite well, they instantly turned their yard into a small market garden and chicken coup (many houses had the same) and they also planted many grape vines.

 

After a couple of months I was having dinner with my mum and dad, and dad suddenly raised the subject of the Italian neighbors. My parents were very open thinkers.

 

Then dad said 'I think they will be needing some friends, let's go and say hello'.

 

We did, they invited us in and the Italian wife quickly prepared some nice snacks.  And the husband said to my dad 'do your drink wine?' My dad's response 'I have never had wine in my life but I would like to taste wine' (unknown to my dad was the fact there is white and red wine and other varieties).

 

The Italian husband then mentioned an Italian friend from Melbourne had given him several boxes of home made wine, he opened a bottle, dad tasted it and said 'it's very different to beer, but I like it'. The Italian neighbor and dad drank 2 bottles and dad came home with 2 more bottles.

 

The next evening there was a knock on our front door. Dad opened the door, It was a deputation of about 10 neighbors, the spokesperson instantly said 'we have come to request you rethink your friendship with the foreigners down the street'. The rest of the mob also making loud comments like 'because of these dirty '<deleted>' my kids can't go to school' and a lot more very silly ignorant comments.

 

My dad responded with 'do you have anything more to say' then quickly told my mum and me to go to the back room of the house. The mob didn't know how to respond. Then dad left the door open and came to the back of the house.

 

The mob dispersed quickly.

 

The next evening one of the mob came to the back of our house and asked my dad if dad would ask the Italian man for a bottle of his wine. Dad's response, 'he speaks perfect English, I'm sure he would like to say hello to you and you could ask him for a bottle wine'.

 

Years on, my family and the Italian family became close friends and the Italian man was making home made wine in some quantity.

 

Over time the neighbors realized they needed to expand their thinking and embrace and respect differences in culture, some a lot more quickly than others. 

 

 

Edited March 21, 2019 by scorecard

[Speedo1968]

1 hour ago, CharlieH said:

"grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference"

 

Often its ones attitude that needs to change, not the environment.

Nice quote.  I make calendars each year, each one different depending on their interests, for family in UK and friends, used this quote last year.

[CGW]

40 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

Even their feet are different!

Good, you noticed as well! massive aint they - & ugly 

[ThaiBunny]

44 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Crazy things happen all over the world, not just in Thailand. Thailand is far away from perfect but it still gives many of us enough opportunities to enjoy our lives.

My enjoyment consists of quietly laughing at the daily farce I see spread before me

[gunderhill]

I have as  little  interaction with Thais  as  possible to ease the insanity I see  all around.

This  morning just driving 2 km 3  motorbikes  pulled out of side roads with out the slightest glance, of course I knew they would do this but one day they  will be jam up the road, that's  the insanity.

[CGW]

I live quite isolated (I thought) about 1 km in-between two villages, on a regular basis I hear the familiar bass from the HUGE village loud speakers - boom, boom boom, boom boom boom, can go on for hours, I just wonder what possible enjoyment they can be getting from such soulless noise! What am I missing? 

Regardless the tribes that inhabit these alien villages are intent on sharing 

Boom boom boom! ????

Edited March 21, 2019 by CGW

[scorecard]

21 minutes ago, ThaiBunny said:

My enjoyment consists of quietly laughing at the daily farce I see spread before me

And quite possiby the others are laughing at your priorities etc. 

[ThaiBunny]

2 minutes ago, scorecard said:

And quite possiby the others are laughing at your priorities etc. 

God I hope so.  I can't take myself seriously so I'm damned if I can see why anyone else should

Edited March 21, 2019 by ThaiBunny

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, davidst01 said:

'I feel an educated person who cares about quality and correctness would go absolutely insane dealing with many Thais if he didn't practice avoidance and detachment.'

Exactly what I do.

I only interact with Thais in simple commercial transactions.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, jvs said:

We came here to live in a totally different culture,it takes some adjustment but i like it here.

I thought we came here for warm weather and cheap pussy?

[BritManToo]

17 minutes ago, CGW said:

HUGE village loud speakers - boom, boom boom, boom boom boom, can go on for hours, I just wonder what possible enjoyment they can be getting from such soulless noise! What am I missing? 

You're missing the bottle of rice whiskey and the yaba tablets that they all took before the 'boom boom boom ......'

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, CGW said:

There are certainly times I truly believe I am surrounded by aliens 

Just enjoy the arse and leg show, that's what I do.