Sin Sod

[NoshowJones]

2 hours ago, jimn said:

I married my wife 4 years ago, I paid her parents 200k which included some gold. Her parents paid for the party with a stage and everything out of the money I gave them. My wife is 26 now no baby and I have had a vasectomy anyway. I think that was a great deal and we get along great and are very happy. By the way I am 63 next month and before you say it, no I am not rich.

Good story, but being realistic, looking at the age gap and what you will really have in common with her, come back on here in another four years, and tell us if you still get along great and are very happy.

I do agree it is possible that will be the case, but I would say highly unlikely.

[swm59nj]

         I want to thank you for all of the responses to this post. I did see a few comments saying Im a BS artist and a troll since I have previous posts. Well I do have previous posts on this site. I believe at most three. I have been to Bangkok August 2018 for one month and then November to the end of January 2018. I did meet a few different women during my stay. From my experiences I had different questions under different subjects. The latest post here is regarding the latest woman I met and what she said to me regarding Sin Sod. My previous post was regarding the Line App. So maybe the people calling me a troll and BS artist should learn how to read. And take out your frustrations on someone else.

         I was under the impression this website is for information and questions. Is this the way this site is structured? To call someone that asks a question a BS artist and troll?

[Geordieabroad]

My experience of sin sod to use as an example. I have been with my Thai wife for 12 years, married for 7 years. Although she come from a poor family, she is now 49, holds a senior management position with a Japanese company in Thailand has an excellent salary (by Thai standards) and has never had children. When we married in 2012 i put 500,000 baht on a silver tray at the ceremony, which was given to her mother. A few days later when we returned from a short honeymoon, her mother arrived at our house with the 500,000 baht in a Tesco bag, i counted it discreetly, it was all there, I then told my wife that i wanted to give her mother some money but wasn't sure how much, my wife suggested 30,000, i gave her that and everyone was happy. Moral of my story? please don't get ripped off

[thaiguzzi]

On 3/27/2019 at 3:42 PM, swm59nj said:

She also told me about the dowry. She says she expects 1,000,000 baht for the dowry. 

I hear Go Fund Me is popular and a good way to start............????

[thecyclist]

44 with 2 kids :Have you seen her without makeup:Probably looks more like 55.Have you already consummated the relationship?

Don't the stretch marks turn you off? I wouldn't pay a dime for damaged goods like this. With all her demands, I wouldn't just say no thanks, but a go and f... yourself. I have come across many of this type over my decades in Siam :They think farangs are idiots - show her that you are not one of them farang khee nok, farang ngo. 

[Fairynuff]

Tell her to sin sod off

[Lacessit]

Sin sod is only payable in the villages, and for virgins. 44 years old, divorced, two kids, Bangkok? If nothing else, she has brass balls.

[cyril sneer]

simple way to calculate the sin sod

 

take a base age and price of 25 years old and 300,000 baht

 

add 10,000 for each year younger, subtract 20,000 for each year older (up to 30)

 

if she's has kids or been married multiply the total by 0.01

[BTB1977]

Evan the Thailand Embassy web page says sin sod is not necessary after a Thai girl has been married and has children.  It was set up a long time ago for and is for suckers only today. Told my wife to f#$k off if she wanted sin sod. She was 46 with 2 kids. Second marriage for her. I did give 25,000 and my wife 10,000 to her parents to show  good faith. Plus a small village wedding I paid maybe another 10,000 for food and drinks. Remember it is your money and never let anyone ever tell you how to spend it. She will come up with 1,000 reason to relieve you of your money.  A good one I use to my wife is there are 30 million Thai women in Thailand. You really think I need you money bullsh[t problems. Your girlfriend with the very good job can but up the sin sod to save face. But I would pass on this one if she is all ready guiding you on what she expects.  Thought number 2 never register the marriage.  Marry under Buddha to make her happy but do not make it legal.  

[KiChakayan]

Forget about "rules" or "culture" and use your common sense. I pay an allowance to my wife, since she studies and takes good care of our daughters and her hubby, she is a great cook too... Half of what I give her goes into the finance of her brand new Honda Jazz.

For her folks I have felt obliged to make a big contribution to the construction of their new house, difficult to live in a 250 sqms, fully airconditioned place while her parents were living in a typical Issan shack. Of course I could afford all that nor do I have any regrets.

BTW we've never had the traditional big "village wedding", we just walked in and out of the Banrak marriage office. I don't feel like playing "dressed up monkey" for 3 days. So, stand your ground, use common sense, but be as generous as you feel is reasonable...

[jimn]

6 hours ago, possum1931 said:

Good story, but being realistic, looking at the age gap and what you will really have in common with her, come back on here in another four years, and tell us if you still get along great and are very happy.

I do agree it is possible that will be the case, but I would say highly unlikely.

Thanks for the reply. Well so far so good. We have our differences but what marriage doesnt. We go out drinking and gor meals together, she knows all my friends and their partners. We go back to the UK every year for nearly 5 months she knows both of my sons their wives and my 4 grand children. As you say things could change. We have been together since 2011 when she was 19, so altogether we have been with each other 8 years 4 married. I dont think things will change now, but as you say who knows.

[NoshowJones]

2 minutes ago, jimn said:

Thanks for the reply. Well so far so good. We have our differences but what marriage doesnt. We go out drinking and gor meals together, she knows all my friends and their partners. We go back to the UK every year for nearly 5 months she knows both of my sons their wives and my 4 grand children. As you say things could change. We have been together since 2011 when she was 19, so altogether we have been with each other 8 years 4 married. I dont think things will change now, but as you say who knows.

Well I wish you all the best.

[henry15]

It's  not a Thai custom that you pay any sinsod for a divorced woman with 2 children.

[KKr]

Answer is simple.
if you like her a lot and are pretty certain it will work out, why not.

after all, it is only the price of a decent car, but will make sure she can get the kids through university if they are talented and in case you do a runner.

Monthly allowance if she takes care of your food and ironing the underpants, why not.
It is not like she is asking half or more of your monthly income is it?

As for employment, some law offices can do the digging for you.
job history, earlier marriage, children, addresses, property, cars, motorbikes, convictions, court appearances, the lot. Cost me some money, but the lawyers confirmed what my current wife had told. 

So, suggest to do some homework, and wish you a happy life with this lady,
or with another one if dirt comes up. Take care.

[jimn]

8 hours ago, DjSilver said:

OMG, you also got screwed over. Only idiots pay sinsod in Thailand.

So Mr Expert who knows the customs of Thailand, tell me your storey. I was only too pleased to pay sinsod for my wife who is from a nice Thai family a small sum of 200k, which at the time was about £3,700. The family paid for the function out of that and although it was out of the money I paid them didnt ask for a penny more. Their daughter who was 19 when I met her was a real catch and stll is. I have no regrets. Oh by the way enjoy your move back to Europe you obviously are more suited to be over there.

[spidermike007]

Actually, dowry is based on the standing of her family, whether or not she has ever been married, if she has kids, and her age and beauty. In this case, each one of those aspects, serves to lower the dowry, and her value. A reasonable dowry for her might have been 50 to 100K baht. When you factor in her age, and her kids alone, that brings it down to the 20-30,000 range.

 

She is simply a dreamer, who has read too many stories, and been listening to the gossip mill too much. Time to let her go. If she is being this unreasonable about her value, in regard to the dowry, then that is a sign of things to come. There are alot of good women out there. Find another one. And do it quick!

 

Lastly, dowry is really meant for the parents, right?

[thaiguzzi]

9 hours ago, vinniekintana said:

No sin sod for a divorced woman with kids.

Incorrect.

 

9 hours ago, vinniekintana said:

Thais wouldn't even marry her...let alone pay sin sod.

Incorrect 2.0

8 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Sin sod is only payable in the villages, and for virgins.

Non factual statement.

[Ulic]

Highly educated, "virgin" (birth canal) young (under 25) = big sin sod (bride price)

Ancient (44), two children about to hit their most costly years, (high school/university, motorbikes/cars) =bride price ZERO. A wedding is not necessary if you are not having kids as far as I am concerned. 

Monthly salary-bride price- you pay all expenses. Any Farang that marries her is stuck on dumb. 

[richard_smith237]

 

 

16 hours ago, DjSilver said:

You got screwed over. Only idiots pay sinsod.

 

16 hours ago, DjSilver said:

OMG, you also got screwed over. Only idiots pay sinsod in Thailand.

 

Or, only idiots feel the need to post such a comment twice !!!

 

I know plenty of idiots who've paid Sin-Sod to their Wife's family..... They are now very happy in their relationships..

Of course, the Sin-sod was returned...  these are not hookers, they are not poor girls marrying into someones pocket, they are not relationships involving large age gaps. 

 

In my case, Sin-Sod paid, and returned... Expensive wedding (1.3MB) somewhere between 800-1000ppl (most of whom I didn't know)... at Top Bangkok hotel, Lots of Wine, Whisky, Prosecco, loads of food, Great Band and DJ until early hours... What a night !!!! - Wife was over the moon - we had a great wedding, great party...  The cost of the wedding covered by the Envelope money of all the guests....  In-laws gifted us (Wife) land in Bangkok. 

 

The relationship with the parents is very respectful, lots of dinners, they're over at our house a couple of times per week, they're lovely grandparents to my Son. 

 

IF I'd have made a 'tit' out of myself and exclaimed 'Only Idiots pay sin-sod' I'm not sure the relationship with the In-laws would have continued on such a sure footing. There are somethings I don't tolerate and my views are respected, but its important to carefully choose which opinions to express and on which principles to stand.

 

The whole 'sin-sod' debacle is multifaceted.... only the bullheaded, over opinionated, culturally intolerant and uncompromising would outright blindly refuse without first evaluating each situation on its individual merit..... 

 

An old guy and a 25 year old bar girl - Sure... pay 100k and hopefully get looked after for a few years.

An educated young guy and educated young girl - Sure, pay, but it should be returned, its just 'tradition'

A young to middle age Westerner and a village girl - be careful and see if there are any mercenary intentions. 

And so on.. each and every relationship is individual - the sin-sod issue just fits into one of the many brackets people enjoy discussing on these forums... i.e. guy paying for girl !!!

 

 

 

 

 

[elgenon]

And you say she is single? I wonder why? Sounds doable to me.

Maybe when she was younger she might have had a better chance.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎3‎/‎27‎/‎2019 at 9:42 PM, swm59nj said:

Hello all. Im 63 years old from the USA, planning very soon to move to Bangkok. I was speaking to this Thai woman I know that lives in Bangkok. She is divorced, 44 years old, and has two children ages 15 and 13. She works as a assistant manager for a hotel from a major chain in Bangkok for 26 years.

               She was explaining Thai marriage culture to me. She said if she married again, she would expect to receive a salary each month from her husband. She also told me about the dowry. She says she expects 1,000,000 baht for the dowry.

She's playing you for a fool. Sin sod was to compensate parents for losing a worker/ someone to look after them in their old age.

It's ONLY paid for the first marriage. Her divorced husband would have paid it.

It's also for a virgin. Children are pretty sure indicating she is no virgin.

The mere fact that she is asking 1 million is as good a reason to dump her as anything.

She will never stop asking for money from you till you are  bankrupt and then she will divorce you.

They always trot out "Thai culture" as a reason to get money from the gullible, but Thai culture also has responsibilities for the wife to fulfil that are never mentioned.

 

I married a divorced Thai woman and gave her mother sin sod for show ( 50,000 baht ) and got it back.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, jimn said:

So Mr Expert who knows the customs of Thailand, tell me your storey. I was only too pleased to pay sinsod for my wife who is from a nice Thai family a small sum of 200k, which at the time was about £3,700. The family paid for the function out of that and although it was out of the money I paid them didnt ask for a penny more. Their daughter who was 19 when I met her was a real catch and stll is. I have no regrets. Oh by the way enjoy your move back to Europe you obviously are more suited to be over there.

LOL.

My story was 50,000 baht sinsod which I got back, no marriage party as we were far, far away from the family ( the way I liked it ).

Every story is different, but bottom line it ISN'T necessary to pay sin sod. Many farangs don't.

 

I wonder why so many farangs go along with "Thai culture" to pay and pay, but don't insist on the things Thai culture necessitate HER to do. It's an interesting list of things a Thai wife is required to do, but I bet most farang's wives never do any of them.

In most cases, it's only the farang that is conforming to Thai culture.

[thailand49]

????She is telling you a Farang, if she tells this to a Thai they would just smile but as soon as no one is looking they will laugh their ass off. The reason she is alone is because of her demands she is considered old and damaged goods but I give her credit! You never know a sucker is born every day.

[mike787]

Please do update TVF how much you paid her after all the FREE quality advice we provided you.  Just curious. 

Good luck whatever you choose.  Remember, there really is no right/wrong answer here, it's your life and what you decide you want is best...that's the right answer.

[IAMHERE]

If she gives up her job to be married then she deserves a guaranteed replacement income stream and a million baht as an insurance policy against the husband running away is certainly a good idea in Thai culture. She isn't too far off the mark, in my opinion.

[richard_smith237]

8 minutes ago, IAMHERE said:

If she gives up her job to be married then she deserves a guaranteed replacement income stream and a million baht as an insurance policy against the husband running away is certainly a good idea in Thai culture. She isn't too far off the mark, in my opinion.

 

According to the world birth rate there are 250 births every minute....  

 

Quoting David Hannum... "There's a sucker born every minute"...     which is fortunate for the 249 others born in the same minute as you ! 

 

 

[IAMHERE]

10 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

According to the world birth rate there are 250 births every minute....  

 

Quoting David Hannum... "There's a sucker born every minute"...     which is fortunate for the 249 others born in the same minute as you ! 

 

 

Is that an insult? If so it is uncalled for.

[brokenbone]

2 hours ago, IAMHERE said:

If she gives up her job to be married then she deserves a guaranteed replacement income stream and a million baht as an insurance policy against the husband running away is certainly a good idea in Thai culture. She isn't too far off the mark, in my opinion.

go right away and marry her then,

none else will under those conditions

[richard_smith237]

2 hours ago, IAMHERE said:

2 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

According to the world birth rate there are 250 births every minute....  

 

Quoting David Hannum... "There's a sucker born every minute"...     which is fortunate for the 249 others born in the same minute as you ! 

 

 

Is that an insult? If so it is uncalled for.

 

A light hearted one... all meant in good humor (hence the smiley)... 

 

But, you did suggest that guys pay a lady a 1MB insurance just in case things don't work out....  and that a guy should guarantee a woman an income stream....  I think only a 'sucker' would do either of these things... 

 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

43 minutes ago, vinniekintana said:

You just made a lot of enemies in this forum RS...????

 

...but hey...spare a thought for other schmucks down in Indo who convert to Islam just to marry a poor/ugly woman.

We are becoming the laughing stock of the World.

..... I have a Screen and Keyboard for protection!... and a firewall of the toughest keyboard warrior's dreams!

 

.... Having spent a bit of time down in Indo the guys converting to Islam so they could marry their bit of local fluff always astonished me!!... no one ever seemed to suggest it should be the other way round... or just outright refused...