Is there ever a happy ever after with BG?

[richard_smith237]

Op... This is already starting out to look like the ever so stereotypical train-wreck.... 

Read some of those famous books often quoted on here (Private Dancer for example) before you make any choices... 

 

4 hours ago, Thaisi said:

if I play it right here (obviously I'm not stupid enough to put something like that in her name in Thailand).

Oh dear... here we go... 

 

4 hours ago, Thaisi said:

but when I asked her how much she would expect in return she just sent me "????????????????" in response (I asked via Google translate). 

Oh no... 

 

4 hours ago, Thaisi said:

I took a little backwards step today as been busy all afternoon/evening (I was made redundant and start a new job a week today

 

4 hours ago, Thaisi said:

I opened my eyes to her texting (damn my photographic memory)

You have a photographic memory and you were still made redundant??? What company makes that sort of huge mistake?

 

 

Its started to read like one of 'those' stories... 

[Thaisi]

3 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

You have a photographic memory and you were still made redundant??? What company makes that sort of huge mistake?

 

Construction ones when they fail to aquire land to build on! 

[Thaisi]

So taking on board what you guys have said and knowing the BG side to her I guess it would appear that I'm just another one of 'those' contacts. These girls probably are the sharpest tools in the box but just seems odd that she would give some sound advice in terms of timing a move to Thailand (and thanks, I wasn't aware I would have to put property into the name of a Thai national, so maybe there a goal there for her). Either way, I backed off a lot and had a busy day yesterday and she isn't chasing me for chat at all today, so I guess that says a lot!

 

You lot have given me some interesting insight, and I will give the book suggested a read, thanks ????

[marcusarelus]

5 hours ago, Pravda said:

 

zero

If you know no bargirls how do you know how they got into the business?  How do you know anything about them? 

[Odysseus123]

No.

[marcusarelus]

3 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

No.

I've a good friend who actually lives in Thailand currently and married a go go dancer 5 years ago.  They have two lovely children and are blissfully happy.  I know another who married a ladyboy bar girl 40 years ago and they are still living in married bliss in Montana.  Another in Pattaya who is being supported by his ex bar girl as he is not in good health. 

 

I lived with a dancer/stripper years ago and her parents convinced her I was too old for her.  She left me and married a young drug dealer and he killed her. 

[Odysseus123]

3 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I've a good friend who actually lives in Thailand currently and married a go go dancer 5 years ago.  They have two lovely children and are blissfully happy.  I know another who married a ladyboy bar girl 40 years ago and they are still living in married bliss in Montana.  Another in Pattaya who is being supported by his ex bar girl as he is not in good health. 

 

I lived with a dancer/stripper years ago and her parents convinced her I was too old for her.  She left me and married a young drug dealer and he killed her. 

The answer is still NO.

 

Pavlov's dogs..and all that..

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, Odysseus123 said:

The answer is still NO.

 

Pavlov's dogs..and all that..

How many bar girls have you lived with? 

[Odysseus123]

Just now, marcusarelus said:

How many bar girls have you lived with? 

The answer is still NO.

 

You will get there in the end...

[marcusarelus]

7 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

The answer is still NO.

 

You will get there in the end...

So you are another expert with no experience.  Would you go to a doctor who only had an education through hearsay?

 

Divorce rate in America is 50% and you lose most everything.  Seems to me marriage to a bar girl in Thailand has better odds.

[marcusarelus]

10 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

 <<<< Comments from removed post edited out >>>>

Living in Pattaya was never boring.  My last bar girl live in was a real sweetheart.  She couldn't get the hang of monogamy which was too bad or we might be still together.  It is easier for a guy to play around because of condoms but difficult for a woman.  Not that I minded her infidelity on moral grounds but it's just not safe anymore. 

 

And maybe not the hookers one should worry about.

 

[dotpoom]

Is this one of those questions that requires a "Yes" or "No"...answer?

[metisdead]

Some reported posts and replies have been removed. 

[JRG23]

Let me tell you a quick story..... 

 

I have lived in Thailand for a long time.

I was married in the early 1990s at age 25 to a Thai girl, a lawyer, with degrees and a nice family. Thought I was set for life.

But she was a nightmare - and we divorced 12 years later (in December 2005).

I married another Thai girl in 2007. She was a bar girl from Central Pattaya Road, opposite where Tops used to be.

We have lived together (in BKK) since 2007 and have two beautiful kids. And (generally) we have a very happy life (I work in BKK).

Yes, we have ups and downs, of course we do. But I am way way more happier than I was with my life with my ex-wife 'good girl' lawyer.

My 'bar girl' wife is not perfect but she is hardworking, generally honest and most importantly, very loyal and loving towards me.

My 'good girl' ex-wife was lazy, only devoted to her family, and didn't give a shit about me.

 

So, yes, I'd say give it a go.

[JRG23]

Just now, JRG23 said:

Let me tell you a quick story..... 

 

I have lived in Thailand for a long time.

I was married in the early 1990s at age 25 to a Thai girl, a lawyer (one yr younger than me), with degrees and a nice family. Thought I was set for life.

But she was a nightmare - and we divorced 12 years later (in December 2005).

I married another Thai girl in 2007. She was a bar girl from Central Pattaya Road, opposite where Tops used to be.  She is 12 yrs younger than me.

We have lived together (in BKK) since 2007 and have two beautiful kids. And (generally) we have a very happy life (I work in BKK).

Yes, we have ups and downs, of course we do. But I am way way more happier than I was with my life with my ex-wife 'good girl' lawyer.

My bar girl wife is not perfect but she is hardworking, generally honest and most importantly, very loyal and loving towards me.

My 'good girl' ex-wife was lazy, only devoted to her family, and didn't give a shit about me.

 

So, yes, I'd say give it a go.

 

[lucifer666]

Queue the music to a Queen song,,,,,,,Another one bites the dust

[Ulic]

Of course it can work. Just keep expectations low and be prepared to share.

[car720]

I don't have any advice, just a question.

Is there any difference?????? 

[kingstonkid]

Is it possible?  YES

Is it likely to be a 1 to 1? NO

 

You can hve a great relationship with them if you follow friends rules.

 

He selected one girl and kept up emails with her. He was not interested in a long term we get married and all that crap as he put it.  He made the following deal with her.

1.  He would let her know when he was going to be coming to Thailand and for how long at least 6 weeks in advance.

She would meet him at the airport or his hotel.  

He agreed to pay for everything including any clothes or such that she would require.

She agreed to provide him with a chit from the doctor saying that she was clean when he arrived.

When he left he would give her money for her family to help them.

 

If her time of the month was during his planned holiday he changed his dates.

 

He had a guaranteed great time and great devoted partner she had a guaranteed steady income with no strings or whiny I want you to be for me only sht

 

[Old Croc]

Don't fairy tales always have a happy ever after.

[vukovar77]

On 4/15/2019 at 8:31 PM, RobMuir said:

Thailand has so many available beautiful and cute single girls who are not prostitutes who don’t have sexual diseases and constantly hit you up for cash.

 

Dont waste your time with this slut. Go for something decent. 

The 98% of normal Thais will give you zero respect for treating a prostitute as a girlfriend.

 

It doesn’t matter if she tones down her dress and covers her tattoos, she won’t be fooling anyone,  Thais can always tell a hooker and will think you are an idiot.

You can do better.

I speak Thai and I never ever heard that Thais use word "hooker" ! This is not properly word to use among Thai people.These are mostly  girls which work in a bars to feed their family.They consider them as working girls only.If You use this word even in English it will be considered in insult.

[Pravda]

20 minutes ago, vukovar77 said:

I speak Thai and I never ever heard that Thais use word "hooker" ! This is not properly word to use among Thai people.

 

That's cuz prostitution doesn't exist in Thailand.

 

And if you close your eyes your bargurl actually has advanced degree in customer relations.

 

It's all relative in the land of smiles

[phantomfiddler]

I would say NO, unless she was pulled out of the bar on her first day of work and before she got poisoned by all the older biddies.

[zoza]

Like most things in life a happy ending is possible, but it takes time

I have been married 14 years and with the wife for 16 years

I spent two years checking her out.

she has three kids, and now they are all grown up, it is not easy and it will take time, you will have your ups and downs.be aware  some of the advice given here is nonsense (taking you to her village is mainly about ''look at me'' ''I have got a farang'' it is about showing you off to the village)

if you get a good one it still takes time and effort. but can be done.

good Luck. 

[PerkinsCuthbert]

On 4/15/2019 at 11:26 PM, PingRoundTheWorld said:

It amazes me that guys actually believe there can ever be a happy ending (other than ejaculation) with a hooker. She doesn't "love you" because you were nicer to her than other men - many other men were just as nice, and she's probably telling some other guy the exact same thing as we speak - that's what they do. She is not interested in you - she is interested in money. Period. When you are not there she will open her legs to any other guy who has the right combination of cash + not too creepy.

 

Just last night I was talking to a girl I've been seeing at clubs for a while - she was upset that her husband of many years divorced her -  talk a little more and it turns out he was actually living in Norway and sending her money while she was living here and <deleted> other guys for cash. Very nice girl otherwise, but this is her mentality - guys = money. You don't recover from that. You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl.

 

The first night I came to Thailand I met some girl at a street food place. She came home with me, didn't ask for money the first night, but made me come to her bar the next day. No problem - a few hundred baht. After that I told her I'm leaving town for the weekend and didn't see her for a few days (later I found out she banged a couple of guys that weekend and supposedly it was "my fault" because I left her alone). The next time I saw her she made me come to the bar and after a few drinks presented me with a 4000 baht bill. She basically put like 20 lady drinks on there for all her friends. I knew this was bullshit and told her OK - I'll pay it - but I'm never coming here again. She came home with me, but asked for 500 baht every day to bar fine herself which I gave her - but it turns out she kept most of it - we met the mamasan on the street some time later and she was angry. Anyway, long story short she never asked for money directly, but it was always "I need some money for food" - I give her 1000 baht she comes back with no change - "I'm going to the market to get ingredients for cooking" - I gave her 1000 she comes back with 1 kg of meat (100 baht at most) and some veggies. Basically she skimmed a few hundred baht whenever she could, on a daily basis. And the money wasn't the worst part - she was INSANELY jealous and attacked me twice, biting and scratching, because I went out with my friends drinking for a couple of hours. In her mind I was out with a girl - she truly believed that. She also came at me with a knife one time, and threatened to throw herself off the balcony (supposedly so I get blamed and arrested). I've had enough after that and left Thailand for a few months and told her it's over. Did not feel safe telling her it's over while in the country. Within days she had a new "boyfriend".

 

Bottom line - there is no happy ending with a hooker. They can be a lot of fun if you have money to burn, but they will never love you. "This one is different" is bullshit - they are all the same.

You are quite mistaken in your glib assessment. I can attest to several bargirl/farang marriages that have stood the test of time, in some cases more than thirty years. Your unfortunate experience has clearly coloured your opinion but, as said in a post earlier, all depends on the two people, their personalities and character, their expectations and so on. To label all bargirls as money-grubbing vixens may be a popular meme, but is by no means a universal truth.

[marcusarelus]

42 minutes ago, vukovar77 said:

I speak Thai and I never ever heard that Thais use word "hooker" ! This is not properly word to use among Thai people.These are mostly  girls which work in a bars to feed their family.They consider them as working girls only.If You use this word even in English it will be considered in insult.

Your Thai is probably better than mine but I've heard the word "sopanee" used a lot what does that mean? Or Ga lee? 

[Thingamabob]

On 4/15/2019 at 10:26 PM, PingRoundTheWorld said:

It amazes me that guys actually believe there can ever be a happy ending (other than ejaculation) with a hooker. She doesn't "love you" because you were nicer to her than other men - many other men were just as nice, and she's probably telling some other guy the exact same thing as we speak - that's what they do. She is not interested in you - she is interested in money. Period. When you are not there she will open her legs to any other guy who has the right combination of cash + not too creepy.

 

Just last night I was talking to a girl I've been seeing at clubs for a while - she was upset that her husband of many years divorced her -  talk a little more and it turns out he was actually living in Norway and sending her money while she was living here and <deleted> other guys for cash. Very nice girl otherwise, but this is her mentality - guys = money. You don't recover from that. You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl.

 

The first night I came to Thailand I met some girl at a street food place. She came home with me, didn't ask for money the first night, but made me come to her bar the next day. No problem - a few hundred baht. After that I told her I'm leaving town for the weekend and didn't see her for a few days (later I found out she banged a couple of guys that weekend and supposedly it was "my fault" because I left her alone). The next time I saw her she made me come to the bar and after a few drinks presented me with a 4000 baht bill. She basically put like 20 lady drinks on there for all her friends. I knew this was bullshit and told her OK - I'll pay it - but I'm never coming here again. She came home with me, but asked for 500 baht every day to bar fine herself which I gave her - but it turns out she kept most of it - we met the mamasan on the street some time later and she was angry. Anyway, long story short she never asked for money directly, but it was always "I need some money for food" - I give her 1000 baht she comes back with no change - "I'm going to the market to get ingredients for cooking" - I gave her 1000 she comes back with 1 kg of meat (100 baht at most) and some veggies. Basically she skimmed a few hundred baht whenever she could, on a daily basis. And the money wasn't the worst part - she was INSANELY jealous and attacked me twice, biting and scratching, because I went out with my friends drinking for a couple of hours. In her mind I was out with a girl - she truly believed that. She also came at me with a knife one time, and threatened to throw herself off the balcony (supposedly so I get blamed and arrested). I've had enough after that and left Thailand for a few months and told her it's over. Did not feel safe telling her it's over while in the country. Within days she had a new "boyfriend".

 

Bottom line - there is no happy ending with a hooker. They can be a lot of fun if you have money to burn, but they will never love you. "This one is different" is bullshit - they are all the same.

Wrong.

[Peterw42]

Ask all the same questions and what if etc, just replace the word bargirl with the word motorbike. We all start off renting a bike when we first get here, find a favorite shop and a favorite bike, start doing longer term or even exclusive rental of the favorite bike. Some of us start looking into monthly contracts "or" maybe even trying to purchase the bike.

Reality is, its a rental bike, its history and mileage is unknown. its future reliability is unknown. If you stop paying the rent, even for one day, someone else will probably rent it.

I know some guys that have taken the bike out of the rental shop and have had years of trouble free riding, so long as they keep up with the maintenance. Others, the bike was always being ridden by others and blew up a week later. It ended up back in the rental shop.

 

[Ahab]

5 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

Ask all the same questions and what if etc, just replace the word bargirl with the word motorbike. We all start off renting a bike when we first get here, find a favorite shop and a favorite bike, start doing longer term or even exclusive rental of the favorite bike. Some of us start looking into monthly contracts "or" maybe even trying to purchase the bike.

Reality is, its a rental bike, its history and mileage is unknown. its future reliability is unknown. If you stop paying the rent, even for one day, someone else will probably rent it.

I know some guys that have taken the bike out of the rental shop and have had years of trouble free riding, so long as they keep up with the maintenance. Others, the bike was always being ridden by others and blew up a week later. It ended up back in the rental shop.

 

Nice analogy. I guess if you are happy renting the scooter and it gets you to where you wants to go then all is well. However, as soon as the scooter rental requires a house to be built, or a million dollars sin sot it is time to get another scooter.

[4MyEgo]

On 4/16/2019 at 1:26 AM, PingRoundTheWorld said:

It amazes me that guys actually believe there can ever be a happy ending (other than ejaculation) with a hooker. She doesn't "love you" because you were nicer to her than other men - many other men were just as nice, and she's probably telling some other guy the exact same thing as we speak - that's what they do. She is not interested in you - she is interested in money. Period. When you are not there she will open her legs to any other guy who has the right combination of cash + not too creepy.

 

Just last night I was talking to a girl I've been seeing at clubs for a while - she was upset that her husband of many years divorced her -  talk a little more and it turns out he was actually living in Norway and sending her money while she was living here and <deleted> other guys for cash. Very nice girl otherwise, but this is her mentality - guys = money. You don't recover from that. You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl.

 

The first night I came to Thailand I met some girl at a street food place. She came home with me, didn't ask for money the first night, but made me come to her bar the next day. No problem - a few hundred baht. After that I told her I'm leaving town for the weekend and didn't see her for a few days (later I found out she banged a couple of guys that weekend and supposedly it was "my fault" because I left her alone). The next time I saw her she made me come to the bar and after a few drinks presented me with a 4000 baht bill. She basically put like 20 lady drinks on there for all her friends. I knew this was bullshit and told her OK - I'll pay it - but I'm never coming here again. She came home with me, but asked for 500 baht every day to bar fine herself which I gave her - but it turns out she kept most of it - we met the mamasan on the street some time later and she was angry. Anyway, long story short she never asked for money directly, but it was always "I need some money for food" - I give her 1000 baht she comes back with no change - "I'm going to the market to get ingredients for cooking" - I gave her 1000 she comes back with 1 kg of meat (100 baht at most) and some veggies. Basically she skimmed a few hundred baht whenever she could, on a daily basis. And the money wasn't the worst part - she was INSANELY jealous and attacked me twice, biting and scratching, because I went out with my friends drinking for a couple of hours. In her mind I was out with a girl - she truly believed that. She also came at me with a knife one time, and threatened to throw herself off the balcony (supposedly so I get blamed and arrested). I've had enough after that and left Thailand for a few months and told her it's over. Did not feel safe telling her it's over while in the country. Within days she had a new "boyfriend".

 

Bottom line - there is no happy ending with a hooker. They can be a lot of fun if you have money to burn, but they will never love you. "This one is different" is bullshit - they are all the same.

I found your reply to the original poster coming across as your some kind of expert on Thai women based on your one off experience, suffice to say if you screened the "bar girl" properly instead of being intoxicated and being one up with her, you wouldn't have found yourself in such a situation.

 

Not all Thai women are alike, suffice to say I have been with scores of Thai women, "bar girls" if you like, and if your wise enough and upfront enough, you won't have a single issue, so don't paint them all with the same brush.

 

As soon as I have a drink with a "bar girl" I tell them straight up, I am married, and the Mrs is out of town, so we have a business transaction, I can keep them for a night or a week, up to them, most will go for the week if I allow them.

 

I bet you haven't been outside of any tourist area have you ever thought outside your own head, these "bar girls" will do what they can to survive, they don't know much about farangs and what broken promises they will be giving them, it's a cut throat gig and people get hurt on both sides, that said, if you know women in general and have the mentality that they are all after the survival $.

 

I can't say I feel sorry for you with an attitude like yours, suffice to say there are happy endings, not just by ejecualtion with hookers, e.g. I married a "bar girl" 12 years ago, and after being with scores of women in my life, some rich, pretty, etc, etc, this girl is so so so down to earth and has made me the happiest I have ever been in my life.

 

I never refer to her as a "bar girl", hooker or prostitute, she is above those titles, I refer to her as my village slut ????

 

Hope one day you find what you're looking for as most don't find it in their lifetime, try free falling every now and again and not holding onto the past hurts in your life, it's a journey, enjoy it while you can.