Is there ever a happy ever after with BG?

[isaanjohnno]

Would you date a hooker in your home country???? Just use the same logic

[NoshowJones]

35 minutes ago, RobMuir said:

Dyed hair? I didn’t realize that was a slut/bad girl indicator.

 

Thanks for the advice, I will remember that one.

No, it's just because I like Thai girls to look like Thai girls, not Farang girls, I had enough blondes back in the UK.

[luk AJ]

Yes it is possible, many university girls spend their nights in bars fishing for customers. The money is mostly not for paying school fees (parents) but for beauty products, clothes, phone etc..later in life they fall back into their expected social role.
Others are girls from poor families who want to make quick money.
The bar scene makes them spoiled and lazy and often hooked on drugs and/or alcohol. A marriage on average has a 50% success rate but girls with the above attitudes reduce the chances a lot.
The longer they work in a bar the closer they get to “the point of no return”
I have the impression that 15-20 years ago everything was more fun and less business. Now they hold the dance pole not to fall on their face not knowing how previous generations of bar girls were showing off and competing in all kinds of acrobatic stunts. Very seldom I go back and it looks more like a meat market where you can pick your number, have a 30 minute robotic sex experience and back at the pole. All night long. No idea how these days they can still make the switch to house wife...



Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[thaibeachlovers]

Keeping in mind that 50% of western marriages fail, there is probably as much chance of finding happiness with a BG than with a non BG.

Of course, some BG's are just scum in woman's clothing, so one would have to have a very long relationship before committing to something permanent.

Thing about Thai BGs is that most are in it just for a short while to make some money/ find a farang husband, and not like western hardened drugged up whores.

[NoshowJones]

58 minutes ago, RobMuir said:

Dyed hair? I didn’t realize that was a slut/bad girl indicator.

 

Thanks for the advice, I will remember that one.

Nothing to do with that, I just like Thai girls to look like Thai girls, not farang girls.

[natway09]

Maybe she is just keeping her alley open. First to commit gets the prize.

All going well here with me & my ex BG after 18 years. Does she love me ? Muk muk

 

[marcusarelus]

39 minutes ago, isaanjohnno said:

Would you date a hooker in your home country???? Just use the same logic

A lot of people did including me.  https://www.therichest.com/rich-list/most-shocking/10-celebrities-who-were-escorts-before-becoming-famous/

[4MyEgo]

49 minutes ago, RobMuir said:

Very honest post.

 

 

Not having a go. But why would you look for a wife in a brothel?

Were you lonely? Couldn’t get a normal girl? Did you ever date normal girls?

 

Rubbish, Thailand is full of opportunities if you are half smart or not lazy. RE post above. Millions of jobs here not in 7/11.

 

Were you honest about her former employment with your friends and family? How did they react.

 

The parents are too lazy to work? 

 

On a on a previous post of yours I think I read that you live quite frugally within a budget? But you buy houses and cars for other people and support the parents retirement?

 

 

 

So far.

 

They want the easy money.

 

I think the vast majority of women don’t want to marry a whoremonger who they met in a bar. 

Is she ok with you going to beer bars now?

 

1) Wasn't looking for a wife, was on holiday, so what are you suggesting because I met my wife in a bar she is a whore...lol, how many girls have I met in a bar around the world and slept with, no charge of course, but as soon as one charges because she has to survive, she is a whore, you crack me up, seriously, your not street wise at all are you.

 

Circumstances we married are because she had to return to Thailand as her tourist visa was expiring, a quick call to immigration by me to see if she could extend as we were getting on so well, was answered with a simple, no she could not extend, fortunately for me I landed a good IO who said that if really dug the girl and we married she could stay on a bridging visa, so I asked her if she wanted to stay, she said yes, so I then called the marriage registry and asked when the next available date was, and they said Friday, I then asked her what she was doing Friday, she said nothing, so I booked the date and told her we were getting married on Friday with her reply being, oh oh, ok and smiled at me from the ironing board where she was ironing some clothes. True story ????

 

2) You obviously didn't read my post, been with scores of women previously, none of them did it for me, you obviously wouldn't/couldn't understand, hence the constant text book questions.

 

3) Thailand full of opportunities for work, you forgot to mention if your prepared to work for what it costs for a meal in KFC, get real man.

 

4) What has her formal employment got to do with my friends and family, no one asked and it's none of their business, you see they would be as thick as you and would probably say they met theirs at a shopping centre, so why have others judge, not interested in what they would think and like I said, why open an opportunity for someone to bash her from an uneducated point in not knowing the first thing about how the system works.

 

5) Parents too lazy to work, yeh good on yah, father is disabled, mother had diabetes, I could go on, but what's the point you have judged Thai parents haven't you.

 

6) You obviously have no idea what you are talking about, I don't live frugally and do not buy people houses and cars and don't support her parents retirement. I do have a budget of 60,000 a month, however it's more like 100,000, why am I telling you this, I have no idea, perhaps to shut you up, to add to this, I have enough money to last me another for 52 years and that's calculated on a budget of 60,000 a month.

 

7) You really crack me up, your the typical male who has no idea how a woman functions, suffice to say, yes I do frequent the local water holes 3 times a week and I do screw a few of the bar girls there, suffice to say I am ahead of you because my wife who I told in the beginning that this is me, which she accepted and knows I do what I do and accepts it, she has no hang ups about what men are like, and appreciates my honesty as she knows what she was getting, balls like that most men like yourself wouldn't have, you would be the type either sitting in front a screen (same thing) or going behind her back whereas honesty is the best policy and your partner knows what to expect. Before you ask, would I mind if she did, no I wouldn't, why should I, it's just sex, you know the stuff that makes you feel good, besides she knows if I was ever going to leave her there would be nothing that would stop me, same applies to me, so why not be upfront with what you like and what you don't, none of this bible controlling crap, each to their own, I suppose, I live my life, respect my wife as she does me, and I wouldn't expect you to understand squat with a brain like yours, i.e. one that has been programmed not to think outside the square.

 

Enough with the questions, like I said, your not street wise enough enough to understand squat, go and refer to your manuel and stop categorising Thai women, I might then stop categorising you as a no hoper.

 

Hooroo.......

 

   

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, possum1931 said:

"The problem for most guys is they never get a chance to date a non bar girl". Not in my case. When I first came to Thailand, I knew nothing about the bar scene or barfines, and dated quite a few Thai girls who were not to my knowledge, bargirls, I dated office girls. market stall girls, even  one girl I met in a shopping mall, before I met my wife.

Not believable.  Every male in the Western world knows about Thai bar girls. I came here in 1968 and I knew about bar girls.  Weren't you a taxi driver?  A taxi driver in the UK not knowing about Thai bar girls?

[marcusarelus]

2 hours ago, Pravda said:

 

What a hell is this? An essay on how to keep a bargirl if you pay her enough?

I think it is a short dissertation by an adult male. 

[Pravda]

25 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

 

7) You really crack me up, your the typical male who has no idea how a woman functions, suffice to say, yes I do frequent the local water holes 3 times a week and I do screw a few of the bar girls there, suffice to say I am ahead of you because my wife who I told in the beginning that this is me, which she accepted and knows I do what I do and accepts it, she has no hang ups about what men are like, and appreciates my honesty as she knows what she was getting, balls like that most men like yourself wouldn't have, you would be the type either sitting in front a screen (same thing) or going behind her back whereas honesty is the best policy and your partner knows what to expect.

 

   

 

The problem with you guys who married a prostitute is that you don't live in reality. No, most women would not tolerate their husband sleeping around with other hookers and the only reason she does is because of financial benefit. There is no way she would put up with this if she (and her family) weren't getting paid. My wife would simply show me the door. She doesn't depend on me to get by in life. She works and her parents worked and invested in her education.

 

You say you know women, but you most certainly don't even know your wife. If she "understands" as you say about you sleeping around that just means she doesn't even care enough to be upset with you and all she's looking forward is the monthly deposit. 

 

Of course, you could prove me wrong and stop her payments.

[khunPer]

On 4/15/2019 at 1:31 PM, Thaisi said:

So as I repeated, just wondering if other people have any experience of this overly honest and receptive relationship with BG and how they ended.

Your lovely girl(friend) might be playing more than one horse – i.e. texting other men – just like a man sometimes might date more than one woman.

 

Some birds from the nightlife are both looking for a serious long-term partner, and at the same time making a living and provide for a family – could be parents, or a child from a former broken, often Thai, relationship – those men that might be candidates, might be treated little different from those that are costumers only; the candidates could be considered as "potential horses to play".

 

Some birds use a bar as contact platform to find a farang – many village girls dream about a farang, because other village girls have been succesful with an alien boyfriend or husband, after a broken Thai relationship, often a village marriage, so the farang is like the dream about the "Knight on a White Horse" – knowing very well, that the knight might not ride his white horse through an remote Isaan villa near Nakhon Nowehere, so the girls are instead heading to events with the knights usually can be met. Not all chose a bar as working platform, but find a, what we will call "normal", job to survive, and they often provide for someone at home in the village, and might just be available, when the right knight suddenly shows up in the vicinity, or they might be "freelancing" some of the places, where the knights meet for ritual dancing and drinking.

 

Some birds might even be studying, and pay for their higher level education with some part time work after university – I've met law students, and an it-programmer – other birds might have some level of education, but find the part time "extra job" as more fun, and better income for a higher level of life-style, and potential better changes to meet someone of interest, and therefore quite their normal work.

 

I know numerous birds from the nightlife, both bars and freelancers, that finally got married to a knight, and are now living in long term successful relationships – might not be talked much about the wife's past periodical work in the entertainment industri, as one can also meet a gorgeous bar-girl when she is shopping in Central or Tesco, or the bar-girl can "freelance" after work in a late night disco or after-party club – so there might be more of those couples around than immediately seems.

 

From personal experience I can tell you that it can work very well – 15+ years so far, so until now it has not "ended" in my case – and also from personal experience I can reveal that one can end up with someone more like a gold digger, but that would normally show up quite fast, if one can accept that "my special girl, not like the others" is just like "the others". The latter didn't take that long time for me, but took a little longer to accept and let go; actually I know it instantly, but I gave it a chance.

 

So, a relationship with a former bar-girl can both go very wrong – also financially – and work out extremely well, also financially; but so can relationships with any partner you meet, anywhere in the World. However, its little more difficult when you have both a distance relationship, and a cultural gap between you, the latter can cause many small misunderstandings that might grow to "big problems"; I normally recommend to read the book "Thailand Fever", as many "huge problems" can be solved with just little mutual understanding from both sides, find out more here.

 

And by the way, the worst "horror stories" I know about farangs that have been ripped off by Thai ladies, are by ladies that have never been near the nightlife, they might never have set a foot inside a bar even as a customer, so the chances might be hasip/hasip (50/50), no matter which girls you find interest in.

????

[NoshowJones]

44 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Not believable.  Every male in the Western world knows about Thai bar girls. I came here in 1968 and I knew about bar girls.  Weren't you a taxi driver?  A taxi driver in the UK not knowing about Thai bar girls?

A taxi driver?? I don't care whether you believe me or not, also, I do not want to start any debates with you.

[4MyEgo]

3 minutes ago, Pravda said:

 

The problem with you guys who married a prostitute is that you don't live in reality. No, most women would not tolerate their husband sleeping around with other hookers and the only reason she does is because of financial benefit. There is no way she would put up with this if she (and her family) weren't getting paid. My wife would simply show me the door. She doesn't depend on me to get by in life. She works and her parents worked and invested in her education.

 

You say you know women, but you most certainly don't even know your wife. If she "understands" as you say about you sleeping around that just means she doesn't even care enough to be upset with you and all she's looking forward is the monthly deposit. 

 

Of course, you could prove me wrong and stop her payments.

You sound like a cheap Charlie, so your wife works as do her parents and it costs you nothing.

 

It costs me nothing to support my wife, there are no monthly payments, your delusional.

 

The fact that your wife and most other men's wives would show them the front door show me how insecure the wives are and the men like dogs with tails between their legs, both fearing that they will lose their partners because of what one wants, I couldn't live like that, too controlling, not love in my opinion, living in each others pockets.

 

If your wife truly understood you, she would agree, (not allow) because you are yourself, unless you like to be controlled, sounds like it, i.e. you cannot do as you please and you being human, don't tell me you don't have other needs because if you said you didn't, you would be full of $hit.

 

Just so you know, my wife has a number of large land parcels which she acquired while working, has grown palm oil, rubber trees and rice, even has her own vegetable patch which we eat off, she makes a decent income, doesn't need to sponge off me, but I like to make her life easier and like I said, she NEVER asks for anything.

 

When I am gone, she will be left with the lot, after all we have kids together, I suppose that makes the majority of married people, women in general prostitutes waiting for their pay day, except yours of course.

[CharlieH]

55 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Not believable.  Every male in the Western world knows about Thai bar girls. I came here in 1968 and I knew about bar girls.  Weren't you a taxi driver?  A taxi driver in the UK not knowing about Thai bar girls?

 

I was also once a Taxi driver in the UK, and I had no knowledge whatsoever of the bargirl /fine or bar scene in Thailand as I dont drink or frequent those places either when I arrived here in 2003

 

[Humpy]

YES.

[Pravda]

14 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

You sound like a cheap Charlie, so your wife works as do her parents and it costs you nothing.

 

It costs me nothing to support my wife, there are no monthly payments, your delusional.

 

The fact that your wife and most other men's wives would show them the front door show me how insecure the wives are and the men like dogs with tails between their legs, both fearing that they will lose their partners because of what one wants, I couldn't live like that, too controlling, not love in my opinion, living in each others pockets.

 

If your wife truly understood you, she would agree, (not allow) because you are yourself, unless you like to be controlled, sounds like it, i.e. you cannot do as you please and you being human, don't tell me you don't have other needs because if you said you didn't, you would be full of $hit.

 

Just so you know, my wife has a number of large land parcels which she acquired while working, has grown palm oil, rubber trees and rice, even has her own vegetable patch which we eat off, she makes a decent income, doesn't need to sponge off me, but I like to make her life easier and like I said, she NEVER asks for anything.

 

When I am gone, she will be left with the lot, after all we have kids together, I suppose that makes the majority of married people, women in general prostitutes waiting for their pay day, except yours of course.

 

Another problem with you guys is that you can't keep your lies straight. You have contradicted yourself about 4-5 times in this thread. Why are you calling me a cheap Charlie if you're not giving your wife anything? Yeah, right. You said it yourself you bought cars and land and you give a monthly salary.

 

So the land your wife has was bought by you. No biggie, just be straight about the true nature of your relationship and why your so unique wife is so forgiving.

 

You guys crack me up.

[CharlieH]

I havnt read all the previous posts, but whatever arrangement is made between two poeple in a relationship is their business. What works for them is all that matters, if they're happy and it works, no one has any right to sit in judgement over it. Put bluntly, its no ones damn business !

[bender92]

On 4/15/2019 at 7:20 PM, Nyezhov said:

My happy ever after is when she leaves smiling in the morning and hands me back tthe 250 baht I gave her for cab fare, saying that I was worth every baht.....

She is setting you up for her big score. Now you think you can trust her. ????

[tingtongtourist]

4 hours ago, RobMuir said:

Feed her family, or feed her shopping/drug habit.

 

if that were really true, how then do the other 98% of Thais who don’t resort to sex work feed their families? how do fat girls survive? how do males survive? 

 

They get a real job. Prostitutes in all countries are greedy and lazy,or have drug habits.

Thailand is no different. There are plenty of opportunities here to get ahead, which is why millions of Cambodians and Laotians and Burmese work in Thailand.

 

i also not I have never seen a starving thai, there is food everywhere. Plenty of other ways to feed a family.

yes, you are right. no one ever truelly  starves here but that is a testament to how they treat the poor who cant work.

 

If you ever been in Isaan, you know the quality of education and how many can afford a (useless-and only paid for) university degree in bangkok..

 

and all else not born in a good Chin family will earn 300baht a day as servents..

 

so what would you do?

 

As a guy, if females were lining up to throw money at you for sex what will you do?

rather work on a rice paddy for 200baht a day + food and 1 bottle of Leo?

[Thaisi]

Thanks for the replies. 

 

I'm not rushing into anything and she's certainly not my "girlfriend" but from going cold on me over the weekend and hitting me with the "you miss me?" "I miss you come back soon" lines she has switched back to receptive and interested... Hmm, I wonder why that is (now the weekend has ended (not the sarcasm)). I'm no fool and I'm aware of what she does and that this is likely a professional keeping a stream of income, but there is still a sense of genuism from her (maybe she is just very good!) next time I am out I will see if she still fancies (her suggestion) of going to Buriram or Koh Samui and see what response I get, I mean I would quite happily enjoy the experience of buriram with a local tour guide as its more true Thailand culture than a tourist area, but we'll see.... 

 

As for some of the suggestions of the person she is, she doesn't drink heavily or do drugs, at least not in my company, it was difficult to get her drunk as she wouldn't drink, not saying she doesn't drink just not excessively. She has a child and when pressed about the father it was a sore subject... Again, I'll take it all with a pinch of salt. 

 

But anyway, essentially I was just curious to others tales and stories and advice. I absolutely love Thailand and it is my preferred holiday destination, I am happy to keep exploring new parts of it and meeting new people there, this girl isn't the be-all and end-all of Thailand for me. 

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, CharlieH said:

 

I was also once a Taxi driver in the UK, and I had no knowledge whatsoever of the bargirl /fine or bar scene in Thailand as I dont drink or frequent those places either when I arrived here in 2003

 

How many hours did it take you to figure it out once you arrived in Thailand?

[Tomahawk21]

On 4/15/2019 at 10:26 PM, PingRoundTheWorld said:

It amazes me that guys actually believe there can ever be a happy ending (other than ejaculation) with a hooker. She doesn't "love you" because you were nicer to her than other men - many other men were just as nice, and she's probably telling some other guy the exact same thing as we speak - that's what they do. She is not interested in you - she is interested in money. Period. When you are not there she will open her legs to any other guy who has the right combination of cash + not too creepy.

 

Just last night I was talking to a girl I've been seeing at clubs for a while - she was upset that her husband of many years divorced her -  talk a little more and it turns out he was actually living in Norway and sending her money while she was living here and <deleted> other guys for cash. Very nice girl otherwise, but this is her mentality - guys = money. You don't recover from that. You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl.

 

The first night I came to Thailand I met some girl at a street food place. She came home with me, didn't ask for money the first night, but made me come to her bar the next day. No problem - a few hundred baht. After that I told her I'm leaving town for the weekend and didn't see her for a few days (later I found out she banged a couple of guys that weekend and supposedly it was "my fault" because I left her alone). The next time I saw her she made me come to the bar and after a few drinks presented me with a 4000 baht bill. She basically put like 20 lady drinks on there for all her friends. I knew this was bullshit and told her OK - I'll pay it - but I'm never coming here again. She came home with me, but asked for 500 baht every day to bar fine herself which I gave her - but it turns out she kept most of it - we met the mamasan on the street some time later and she was angry. Anyway, long story short she never asked for money directly, but it was always "I need some money for food" - I give her 1000 baht she comes back with no change - "I'm going to the market to get ingredients for cooking" - I gave her 1000 she comes back with 1 kg of meat (100 baht at most) and some veggies. Basically she skimmed a few hundred baht whenever she could, on a daily basis. And the money wasn't the worst part - she was INSANELY jealous and attacked me twice, biting and scratching, because I went out with my friends drinking for a couple of hours. In her mind I was out with a girl - she truly believed that. She also came at me with a knife one time, and threatened to throw herself off the balcony (supposedly so I get blamed and arrested). I've had enough after that and left Thailand for a few months and told her it's over. Did not feel safe telling her it's over while in the country. Within days she had a new "boyfriend".

 

Bottom line - there is no happy ending with a hooker. They can be a lot of fun if you have money to burn, but they will never love you. "This one is different" is bullshit - they are all the same.

it amazes me that guys actually believe there can ever be a happy ending (other than ejaculation) with a hooker. She doesn't "love you"

 

 

 

 

i get where your coming from but i bet there are more than a few TVM here been married as you say to hookers for many years and are very happy.

i think it all depends on why a girl is working bar what her life is like, if her family are poor etc.

 

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, possum1931 said:

A taxi driver?? I don't care whether you believe me or not, also, I do not want to start any debates with you.

In the 60's I was in the military so it was common knowledge and ever since compuserve I've been on line and it was common knowledge there.  I read the newspapers and there were the mandatory stories about Asian women and there was Suzie Wong and Emmaneulle.

[tingtongtourist]

5 minutes ago, Tomahawk21 said:

it amazes me that guys actually believe there can ever be a happy ending (other than ejaculation) with a hooker. She doesn't "love you"

 

 

 

 

i get where your coming from but i bet there are more than a few TVM here been married as you say to hookers for many years and are very happy.

i think it all depends on why a girl is working bar what her life is like, if her family are poor etc.

 

so you think these "hookers" are working bar because its great fun and such big money?

 

sure there are hardened ones that grab the opportunity with both hands and really play the game and turn out bad.

 

but there are others from the villages who older girls coming back on holidays convince them,

go to Krungthep, jap farang..easy and big money...

but some really have no idea what they are getting into.

 

the way people like you call ALL of them hookers is quite disgusting when you see where they come from and the poverty

[Tomahawk21]

13 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

so you think these "hookers" are working bar because its great fun and such big money?

 

sure there are hardened ones that grab the opportunity with both hands and really play the game and turn out bad.

 

but there are others from the villages who older girls coming back on holidays convince them,

go to Krungthep, jap farang..easy and big money...

but some really have no idea what they are getting into.

 

the way people like you call ALL of them hookers is quite disgusting when you see where they come from and the poverty

sorry to disappoint you and you theory, it may be the case with some girls but not all.

 

i met a lady in a bar about 15 years ago all she wanted was to meet a good farang man i ask her many details about her life her parents were ok for money all her sisters either had their own line of business or had good jobs and i stayed in touch with her up until now. she met a man from the uk here, he lived here she then stayed with him no demands for money or anything like that ive met him also and they are both very happy. her reason for working bar was never about money sorry if ive spoiled your week.

[marcusarelus]

1 minute ago, Tomahawk21 said:

sorry to disappoint you and you theory, it may be the case with some girls but not all.

 

i met a lady in a bar about 15 years ago all she wanted was to meet a good farang man i ask her many details about her life her parents were ok for money all her sisters either had their own line of business or had good jobs and i stayed in touch with her up until now. she met a man from the uk here, he lived here she then stayed with him no demands for money or anything like that ive met him also and they are both very happy. sorry if ive spoiled your week.

Yup.  2 hookers in my family - middle class government workers.  1 is a ladyboy who snagged a German and retired the other Pattaya dancer who danced till she had enough to open a restaurant. 

[Ajarnbrian]

With good luck, good timing and good judgment it might just work. Highly unlikely though and don`t confuse holiday fun with genuine, lasting relationship. If possible bring a farang friend who (secretly) understands Thai language, meet the bargirl and her friends and listen in to their conversations. A useful reality check!

[marcusarelus]

15 minutes ago, Ajarnbrian said:

With good luck, good timing and good judgment it might just work. Highly unlikely though and don`t confuse holiday fun with genuine, lasting relationship. If possible bring a farang friend who (secretly) understands Thai language, meet the bargirl and her friends and listen in to their conversations. A useful reality check!

I guess those of us who speak Thai don't need this?  Speaking English is enough of a reality check for me.  One learns how to evaluate people one thought one knew.  Culture shock after living in Thailand to realize Farang are really so clueless. 

 

Screwing is different.  Thailand more natural and expected and without all the guilt/god stuff in the West. 

 

Buddhists are really different than Christians or pseudo Christians. as are animists.  Most Farang can't get their heads around it. This is not Kansas.  

 

A friend of mine used to do bar girl investigations.  He asked me to help him with one which I did against my better judgement.  3 days I emailed him and asked for a bonus if I had an affair with the girl under investigation.  I just wanted to cover my costs.   Wrong thing to ask. 

[GinBoy2]

My wife is pretty pragmatic about this

 

We went to Pattaya with our son for a vacation, 10 years ago.

 

I was horrified by it all, she just shrugged her shoulders and said; 

They're poor, probably with kids with a deadbeat Dad, they can support their family a lot easier doing this than working on the farm.

 

Like I said in an earlier post. I think it's changing, now there is probably a lot more drugs involved, and they do it more for personal gain than the family support as was the case in the past.

 

That's why I doubt a BG Customer relationship has anything better than a 10% chance of success