How to motivate Thais to pay the money back?

[poohy]

In My BKK partying days i was friends with a Cambodian hooker, long story short i lent/gave her 10K

she said she would pay me back in 6 months

4 months later we met up drank beers and other entertainment and i got my 10k back.

 

still friends to this day she has shop on Thai Cambodian border.

 

However my ex wife chiang mai Thai bitch is another far less pleasant story 

[soalbundy]

Happened to my missus but she is resolute, she considered threatening him with black magic but only as a last resort, instead she went to the pu yai baan of his village and explained what happened, the culprit was called to explain himself, he said he can't pay it back because he was paying off his new motorbike monthly, so the pu yai decided he should give up the bike to my missus until he could repay her, she took the bike home and used it for a month then low and behold he could pay her back after all.

[Briggsy]

Of all the myriad of friends and close family, why did this "extended family member" call your girlfriend at 3am? Why not call any one of his close buddies? Why not his parents or siblings?

 

And then instead of batting the problem away or kicking the can down the road, your girlfriend prioritised this "extended family member" over you. It sounds like the guy didn't even speak to you directly at the time and has never spoken to you directly since. He sounds at best like a complete waste of space and at worst like a dishonest person. Why would your girlfriend accommodate him? Can't she see the reality?

 

This sounds like a pisstake to me.

 

p.s. You are very unlikely to get your money back. If you really want to push it, speak to his employer or older family member. Do it directly. You need to cut your girlfriend out of this loop. She is too cowed by this guy.

[OneMoreFarang]

16 minutes ago, taninthai said:

You lot must have married into the village lo so community,I have lent money to Thai friends always comes back...lent 300,000 to a fiend last November paid me back April and even offered me 10,000 bht extra as interest payment.

obviously lending people with no jobs is a no no.

on the other side I have also lent to a lazy arsed Thai girl and it didn’t come back......lol

That reminds me of my friend who long time ago lent almost a million baht to his Thai boss. The boss was the son (maybe 40 years old) of the business owner who was the head of the Thai-Chinese family. There was no doubt that the son would have the money to pay it back.

 

But at the end of the day he never paid it back. Why not? Because he could get away with it. Like: Yes, I know I owe you money, and what will you do to get it back from me? 555

It seems it was like some kind of expected internal kickback: Like I (son) support my father that you should have this well paid job. But I get part of your salary and there is nothing you can do about it.

[The Theory]

19 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

she promised me that this guy is reliable and sure would pay the money back...

????????????????

Money goes away easily (by sick mom, sick Buffalo or police stories) but to get it back you need to run after with a pair of iron shoes. 

 

[Bangel72]

Lending is like gambling, never lend what you cannot afford to lose.

I have lent to friends with a one strike clause, not enough to lose a friend over but enough to never do it again if its not returned. My family have had a two strike clause.

Others like the Mrs or her family and friends, nah it just aint worth the hassle.

Some thai's will lend to their so called friends with 10% a month interest and then they will call and harass multiple times a day and start taking things like mobiles, gold and even their kids toys as hostage till they pay them back all the time knowing that 10% is destroying their friends life. All of this is illegal including the daily calls, so if you are chasing your debt daily then you may find you are liable.

This is not a friend, either give them the money with a hope that they return the gift or don't but do not lend to a friend ever, full stop.

[finnishmen]

norman men take guarantee, same bank make, thai give to you motorbike owner book or car book, then can borrow money to thai, but if whitout guarantee go borrow to thai money you not newer see any baht back. thai borrow lot but ot newer pay back anythink. only idiot borrow to thai money.

[Tongjaw]

My wife loaned her friend 4,000 over 10 years ago. Never got it back and lost the friend too. She’s never loaned anyone again since. Myself however got burned 6 years ago for 20,000 baht by a good English friend of over 15 years, well I thought he was a good friend. Same as my wife, lost the money and the friendship. Haven't loaned to anyone again and never will. 

[4MyEgo]

Rule 1) It's ok to say NO, I am not a bank, I do not lend money to anyone, if you are unsure of rule 1, refer to rule 2.

 

Rule 2) I am not a bank, I do not lend money to anyone, if you are unsure of this rule, refer to rule 1.

 

Rule 3) If you failed to adhere to rules 1 & 2, you have failed and have only yourself to blame, if that is the case, do not post on TVF your failure, just take it on the chin, and call yourself a loser 3 times and move on.

[AlexRich]

3 hours ago, 473geo said:

Nah they have more sense ????

 

You are the gift that keeps on giving. ????

 

 

[anterian]

Utility bills, fines, back to school and vehicle repair bills, poor Thais never budget for these so in my village they turn to me for interest free loans. I never say no, and they always pay me back. Not to do so would destroy my trust and everyone would suffer. I have even lent to the village council for community projects. 

[ChrisKC]

"A Borrower nor a Lender be, lest you lose both loan and Friend" - Shakespeare, I think.

In Thailand, people will lie about the reason they want the loan - even to their own family, Short of a contract, difficult to suggest to a friend or family member anyway, the chances of seeing the return of it is close to zero.

[NotYourBusiness]

Sorry but many answers above miss the opportunity here. I use small amounts of money to limit larger losses. When a relative wants to borrow a small amount, I say YES! But you need to repay it before I loan you any more. Of course they don't repay the small loan, and I am neatly off the hook for the larger loan with nobody losing face.

[55Jay]

Ah yes, bet it's hard to say "No" when you're put on the spot at 3am. Not saying he was lying about the reason, but 5,000 sounds a bit like a roadside backhander for drink driving..... at 3am.

 

A fine balance between being a selfish, stingy prick, and a generous "Jai dee" push-over who says "yes" to everything.  In either case, it can lead to becoming a bitter person.  Either you hate yourself for being such a prick, and that "look of love" in your gf's eyes fades each time.

 

Or you are embarrassed for allowing yourself to be taken advantage of so casually, over and over again, and then ignored when it comes time to repay, or reciprocate.  More money than brains.

 

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, 55Jay said:

Either you hate yourself for being such a prick, and that "look of love" in your gf's eyes fades each time.

I've never hated myself for saying, 'NO'.

Never seen love in my gfs eyes either, she's rented.

Who she gives/lends/shares her rental income with, up to her.

[473geo]

1 hour ago, AlexRich said:

 

You are the gift that keeps on giving. ????

 

 

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow!

 

Hunter S Thompson

[55Jay]

19 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've never hated myself for saying, 'NO'.

Never seen love in my gfs eyes either, she's rented.

Who she gives/lends/shares her rental income with, up to her.

Right on, sounds like you have the perfect set up then. 

[Caldera]

Under those circumstances, I'd have sent the money to my ex, not to her "acquaintance" directly. Paying it back to me would have been her problem alone.

 

My rationale is that someone close to me will likely want to be able to ask for help again in the future, so they're less likely to default on what's a relatively small amount.

[GreasyFingers]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe someone should start a survey like: How much money did you lose over the years by lending money to Thais or foreigners. It seems many of us gave money to Thais and often we don't get it back. But it seems the biggest scammers are the farangs. They don't ask for 5,000B but probably minimum for 20k or 50k or more. So maybe at the end of the days Thais are not so bad compared with some of us.

I was nearly going to start you off but when I wrote out the list it was too long. But you are right some good and some bad on either side of the oceans.

[RJRS1301]

My grandmother taught me from a very young age to NEVER LOAN WHAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO LOOSE.

 

You say it is Not about the money, speak with your GF and tell her about INTEGRITY, then add that never again will you NEVER loan others money, it breaks friendships if it is not repaid.

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've never hated myself for saying, 'NO'.

Never seen love in my gfs eyes either, she's rented.

Who she gives/lends/shares her rental income with, up to her.

One day she will look at you and you just know she's the one ????

[BritManToo]

7 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

One day she will look at you and you just know she's the one ????

Put me down for the spinner in the mauve bikini top.

[geoffbezoz]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Put me down for the spinner in the mauve bikini top.

I'll take her mate behind nuzzling her neck at the same time. After you sir of course.

[manchega]

This is life lesson I learned many years ago in my teens no intention to be patronising, I have many preconceived ideas about the locals

 

don't lend money unless you are prepared to never see it again

 

anything can happen over 24 hours and in some instances you teach someone a valuable lesson in attaining things they want

 

if you had not lent 5 k this person would have learnt that in future they should either act responsibly or have 5 k sitting at hand in case something happens

 

you may have just encouraged their dependency on family members instead of learning responsibility for self and ones own actions 

[Tajasia]

You got fleeced by Thais find a new GF LOL

[Pravda]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That reminds me of my friend who long time ago lent almost a million baht to his Thai boss. The boss was the son (maybe 40 years old) of the business owner who was the head of the Thai-Chinese family. There was no doubt that the son would have the money to pay it back.

 

But at the end of the day he never paid it back. Why not? Because he 

Flew to Dubai?

[geoffbezoz]

This may work

 

[Traubert]

1 hour ago, manchega said:

anything can happen over 24 hours and in some instances you teach someone a valuable lesson in attaining things they want

 

if you had not lent 5 k this person would have learnt that in future they should either act responsibly or have 5 k sitting at hand in case something happens

 

you may have just encouraged their dependency on family members instead of learning responsibility for self and ones own actions 

You really think the depth of thought went beyond 'whooppee!' when the money landed in his hand?

[xtrnuno41]

It doesnt matter if it is Thailand, it happens everywhere.

You loan money and then how to get it back, everywhere same story

[ChrisKC]

6 hours ago, 55Jay said:

Ah yes, bet it's hard to say "No" when you're put on the spot at 3am. Not saying he was lying about the reason, but 5,000 sounds a bit like a roadside backhander for drink driving..... at 3am.

 

A fine balance between being a selfish, stingy prick, and a generous "Jai dee" push-over who says "yes" to everything.  In either case, it can lead to becoming a bitter person.  Either you hate yourself for being such a prick, and that "look of love" in your gf's eyes fades each time.

 

Or you are embarrassed for allowing yourself to be taken advantage of so casually, over and over again, and then ignored when it comes time to repay, or reciprocate.  More money than brains.

 

A rock and a hard place comes to mind!!