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Happiness When Marrying a Much Younger Woman


CanadaSam

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35 minutes ago, Suitcase said:

Having never been married nor lived with a Thai girl, I’m  curious, what do you married and live together couples do the other 23 1/2 hours out of a day?

She is an engineer and works 6 to 6, 6 days a week.  I stay home and cook and clean and walk the dog.  On Sunday we go shopping and out to eat. 

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On 5/26/2019 at 4:31 PM, CharlieH said:

What is your definition of "much younger" ? that might be a starting point, and I doubt that the OP could be answered properly if done "briefly". You have given no basis for your what can only be your assumptions.

 

Just saying.

I married in 1988 a Thai woman based on 1/ mutual respect  then growing 2/ mutual trust then growing  3/mutual friendship before we fell in love ...and we are still happily married.  I think every relationship is unique but the points 1/2/3 are true not only in Thailand but worldwide.

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There's 40 years between us and we are very happy. There will of course be a time for us to part as death comes to us all one day. She has loads of money to leave me so I should be ok when she finally goes.

 

 

Den

 

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1 hour ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Kids? If you want to kids (or in my case, a kid) a younger wife is essential.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
 

I don't like to have kids - too much headache. But I still like pretty young (legal) girls.

They can have their kids a couple of years later with someone else.

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There is no general rule. Some marriages work, some do not. Personal opinion is that Thai girls in their 20's are still dreaming, and not looking for a falang. still want to party and go to disco. 

Come 30, they start looking for security and a bit of comfort. Also they do see many of their friends either in bad marriages to a Thai man or have been dumped when the husband moves on.

 

Enter the farang. He offers security, more equal treatment and financial security. Love is a low priority. Have to remember in many parts of the world marriages are arranged, love only comes later (with luck). Of course, apart from the 2 week millionaires in pattaya, most farang who are available outside Bangkok are over 50, so this skues the age difference to start with. When online some years ago, those girls who professed a preference where usually looking for a man 10-20 years older. They want a man who is responsible, doesn't screw around, polite and doesn't have drug and alcohol issues. If they find that they will put an effort into making it work. As i found out, if you are single, you are being watched, and the offers soon appear!

 

I see many happy relationships here in Isaan. OK, money is important, but love does come. At least 50% of the people i know have been in a long term relationship for 10 years or more. But there are a few accident prone men who move from one ship wreck to another. Probably was the same back in Farangland.

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Why would a much younger girl want to marry you? Oh yeah, money. Don't worry, she will have a young Thai guy or two on the side giving her what else she needs in life other than money...as she is getting that from you.

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1 hour ago, brokenbone said:

i think the younger partner gets deprived of passion they could otherwise have gotten, i think the best is to let her have a lover her own age to keep her spirits up

Especially if you can watch.  Not a bad idea actually. 

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22 minutes ago, wisperone said:

Why would a much younger girl want to marry you? Oh yeah, money. Don't worry, she will have a young Thai guy or two on the side giving her what else she needs in life other than money...as she is getting that from you.

I have had younger women tell me they were tired of cheap boy friends. It's not just that old guys have money but that young guys don't and sponge of the lady for everything from clothes, phones and booze and motorcycles. 

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On ‎5‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:41 PM, sanemax said:

The usual problem is the age difference , some Thai ladies have the maturity of a 15 year old and you end up having more of a "Father/Daughter" kind of relationship , rather than Husband & Wife .

   A successful relationship would require the Male to have the mentality/maturity of a 15 year old as well 

Agree. I found that I was trying to mentor my wife, as she didn't know much about anything that I knew. She was a terrible driver, to the extent that I wouldn't let her drive me, if possible. I tried to educate her to proper driving, but whenever she got angry at another driver she tried to use the car as a weapon. She got angry a lot!

She spoke excellent English, but couldn't read it very well, so I tried to help her learn.

Etc.

In the end, of course, she didn't want to listen to me about anything as our marriage became more confrontational, and then it was over anyway.

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On ‎5‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 10:07 PM, geoffbezoz said:

So please provide the reference data to support your statement   "A successful relationship would require the Male to have the mentality/maturity of a 15 year old as well".    Otherwise to be correct you should have stated it was your opinion rather than suggesting it was a fact.

 

Also I would question the bias to your statement that it is immature females. There are , I am sure, although only my opinion, that there are very many male Farangs and others in their 30's who by their ways indicate immaturity levels well below their actual years.

It's his opinion, as is everything written on these pages.

All we can do is share OUR experiences and OUR viewpoint, which will be different to everyone else's.

No point in getting irritated- just move on to another thread.

As they say in LOS, "jai yen, jai yen".

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22 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Agree. I found that I was trying to mentor my wife, as she didn't know much about anything that I knew. She was a terrible driver, to the extent that I wouldn't let her drive me, if possible. I tried to educate her to proper driving, but whenever she got angry at another driver she tried to use the car as a weapon. She got angry a lot!

She spoke excellent English, but couldn't read it very well, so I tried to help her learn.

Etc.

In the end, of course, she didn't want to listen to me about anything as our marriage became more confrontational, and then it was over anyway.

Isn't it common knowledge never to try and teach your wife how to drive?  

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19 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

It's his opinion, as is everything written on these pages.

All we can do is share OUR experiences and OUR viewpoint, which will be different to everyone else's.

No point in getting irritated- just move on to another thread.

As they say in LOS, "jai yen, jai yen".

It is just not just an opinion driven forum.   Many issues are requesting statements of fact to which many competent posters reply with facts to assist.  It is just that when people state something, which may be their opinion, but it is contradicted with fact, many can  or will not grasp that and continue with endless twaddle.

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On ‎6‎/‎3‎/‎2019 at 9:51 PM, marcusarelus said:

Isn't it common knowledge never to try and teach your wife how to drive?  

That's when she is driving. I always drove, and just told her stuff she needed to know as we went along. She forgot everything I'd told her soon as she got angry at another driver.

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On ‎6‎/‎3‎/‎2019 at 9:57 PM, geoffbezoz said:

It is just not just an opinion driven forum.   Many issues are requesting statements of fact to which many competent posters reply with facts to assist.  It is just that when people state something, which may be their opinion, but it is contradicted with fact, many can  or will not grasp that and continue with endless twaddle.

Given that the person asking doesn't know, and the person answering ON AN ANONYMOUS FORUM may or may not know what they are talking about, I take everything as opinion.

Few things talked about on TVF are incontrovertible facts.

Eg sin sod. Some say that it IS necessary and others say it isn't. Actually, it's not for a farang, but probably is for a Thai, but the debate continues.

BTW, if only verifiable facts were permitted on TVF, there would be few posts and even fewer replies.

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She just started to work in a bar because her older step-sister decided that what she should do.
She decided to stay with me far away from the sister and the bar.
And all that happened a long time ago because this thread is about couples which are together since a long time. We are still together.

Good for you!
You took a girl from a bar who was 16 which is under the age that said girl is allowed to go with “customers” which in itself is a shameful act you then brag about on TV
I assume you are aware also that the age of consent here in Thailand is 18
The fact that you are still together is my opinion irrelevant



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I think that the stage of life is as important as the age difference.

My wife and I have a 22 year age difference.  I'm 67 and she's 45.  We met when I was 64 and she was 42, so she was already mature and past the "flighty" stage of life and I was past the mid-career stage of life.  We're compatible despite the age difference in part because we have similar education levels, we like the same foods and leisure activities, and neither of us gets angry easily.  Still, I think our 22-year age difference at 64 and 42 was a less of a problem than it might have been had we been 40 and 18.

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6 minutes ago, JTXR said:

I think that the stage of life is as important as the age difference.

My wife and I have a 22 year age difference.  I'm 67 and she's 45.  We met when I was 64 and she was 42, so she was already mature and past the "flighty" stage of life and I was past the mid-career stage of life.  We're compatible despite the age difference in part because we have similar education levels, we like the same foods and leisure activities, and neither of us gets angry easily.  Still, I think our 22-year age difference at 64 and 42 was a less of a problem than it might have been had we been 40 and 18.

I think it is a bit more complicated than that.  We were 43 and 23 when we met, and now, 22 years later things are better than ever.  We have both changed a lot over the years but our love and our relationship remains strong.  It is hard to get this kind of longevity when you start much older.

 

In my opinion there is no formula.  It is all specific to the couples, who they are and how they interact.  For us there is a real synergy and we are both better together than we would be apart or with someone else.

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11 hours ago, Celer et Audax said:


Good for you!
You took a girl from a bar who was 16 which is under the age that said girl is allowed to go with “customers” which in itself is a shameful act you then brag about on TV
I assume you are aware also that the age of consent here in Thailand is 18
The fact that you are still together is my opinion irrelevant

I guess you think she would have been happier in the bar working there with lots of new guys everyday.

Or should I have talked to the police? What do you suggest?

And it's legal to have a 16 year old girlfriend in Thailand.

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On 5/30/2019 at 10:36 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't like to have kids - too much headache. But I still like pretty young (legal) girls.

They can have their kids a couple of years later with someone else.

I refer to 16 year olds as kids.

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6 minutes ago, RobMuir said:

Well, if she was 16 and in a bar, there might be some minor issues with what they refer to as “procuring a minor”, and “human trafficking” and “statutory rape”.

 

Thats all, no biggie.

Age difference does not mean minor or underages trafficked child. I'm 30 years older than my wife and she is 40 years old.  I'm afraid the illegal aspects of age difference are in your mind and a very nasty thought with no basis in fact.  

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