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BANGKOK 19 June 2019 14:54
Elizway

Unwillingness / inability to talk things through

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3 hours ago, TheFarangGuy said:

For example, one of them told my friend that she's with this dude only because he can support her financially (he's like 20 years older than her). And it's not like she's poor. Her family is very rich and she has a good job. But she still needs a "sponsor" to buy her stuff.

 

Yeah I've seen this. This is an issue with most women in the world though. Women like money and free stuff, and to be provided with financial security.

 

It's just that Thai women are more transparent about this fact, and will tell you on your face that they want you to sponsor them through life independently of how much money they've got. I've had women tell me "it doesn't matter if I have millions of baht. You'll still have to pay for everything" 😄.

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Not going to get into my private affairs in a public forum but my advice is get out now while you have a chance. Do not hesitate. Get out now.  

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It is a Thai thing. For all of the precepts expressed within Buddhism, about introspection, reflection, self knowledge, etc, it is quite mind boggling how unwilling most Thais are, to look within for the source of a problem, or even discuss an issue, to work it out. Communication is key in any healthy relationship. When I was with my wife during the first year or two, we would have problems, and I would want to discuss them. She would always say I do not want to talk about it. My reply would be that her unwillingness to discuss our issues, will lead to our breakup. I would ask her how much does this relationship mean to you? If you really care as much as you say you do, demonstrate it, with the willingness to work out our problems. Otherwise, it will be the reason we will not last. I explained the multiple functions of the door. You can use it to enter, or to exit the house. If we cannot work things out, then you will exit the house soon! She got it. We began to talk. She did not like doing so. But, over time we learned to communicate, and now she is very good at it. We have an issue. We talk about it. And it is resolved quickly. 

 

So, it is really about training, coaching, and conditioning. As Thais do not like to discuss things that are deep or troublesome, they must be trained to do so. If they care. 

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On 6/1/2019 at 6:42 AM, marcusarelus said:

I'm 75 and my wife is 45.  No problems.  You are wrong.  I think more jealousy than reason speaking.  I've always had a trophy wife and others have always been jealous.  This is my 4th one and I've learned how to handle them. 

If it is your FOURTH......one, I am not wrong.

You more than prove my point.

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35 minutes ago, Captain 776 said:

If it is your FOURTH......one, I am not wrong.

You more than prove my point.

Do you really want me to tell you about the dear John letter I got from my wife when I was fighting in Vietnam?  She was having an affair with a good friend of mine.  Does that prove your point?  

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7 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

It is a Thai thing. For all of the precepts expressed within Buddhism, about introspection, reflection, self knowledge, etc, it is quite mind boggling how unwilling most Thais are, to look within for the source of a problem, or even discuss an issue, to work it out. Communication is key in any healthy relationship. When I was with my wife during the first year or two, we would have problems, and I would want to discuss them. She would always say I do not want to talk about it. My reply would be that her unwillingness to discuss our issues, will lead to our breakup. I would ask her how much does this relationship mean to you? If you really care as much as you say you do, demonstrate it, with the willingness to work out our problems. Otherwise, it will be the reason we will not last. I explained the multiple functions of the door. You can use it to enter, or to exit the house. If we cannot work things out, then you will exit the house soon! She got it. We began to talk. She did not like doing so. But, over time we learned to communicate, and now she is very good at it. We have an issue. We talk about it. And it is resolved quickly. 

 

So, it is really about training, coaching, and conditioning. As Thais do not like to discuss things that are deep or troublesome, they must be trained to do so. If they care. 

Didn't Buddha leave his wife and kids?  Is that a Buddhist thing?  

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On 6/11/2019 at 6:29 PM, marcusarelus said:

Didn't Buddha leave his wife and kids?  Is that a Buddhist thing?  

 

I think a prince, (who many would consider an Avatar or enlightened saint) who is seeking enlightenment might qualify as something different than what we are discussing here. 

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12 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

 

I think a prince, (who many would consider an Avatar or enlightened saint) who is seeking enlightenment might qualify as something different than what we are discussing here. 

You mean like Prince Charlie said, "Well, I refuse to be the only Prince of Wales who never had a mistress.”  I can understand that.  Pity Diana didn't.  

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3 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

You mean like Prince Charlie said, "Well, I refuse to be the only Prince of Wales who never had a mistress.”  I can understand that.  Pity Diana didn't.  

When did he say that?

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