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Are you married to a Thai woman – Any Snippets of Advice .


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If I were to start again with a Thai lady, I would take note of times she goes to the temple each month. I find that after a temple visit she are particularly evil. Virtually all my darkest times have been when she has recently gone to temple.

 

It's not been all doom and gloom however. There was a day last month where she actually made me a decent cup of rosy without me having to whistle for it; as I normally do. And last year she fed my koi carp without me telling her; no dinner for me though.

 

Sometimes I think she has matured. "Owl dear, do you like this shade of lipstick?" "Lipstick is wasted on you dear!" As she came at me with the cleaver I quickly said; "your lips are perfect as they are; no lipstick needed ." This seemed to clam her.

 

Our lovely daughter is the glue that holds it all together. Couldn't continue without her.

 

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If you are real, which I doubt, this is not the place to ask that question, far too many embittered, twisted, men on this forum to give you any advice about any women, let alone Thai ones.  Just in case you are real, I have been married for 22 years to my Thai wife and yes, we are happy. 

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Married at 23 when she was 23.  Been married 46 years.  We know several handful of Americans who have been married to the same Thai girl for 40+ years.  Matter of fact, I know more GI/Thai marriages closing in on 50 years than I do American/American marriages.

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5 hours ago, villagefarang said:

22 years for me as well. If someone needs to ask the OP's question then all is lost before you begin.😇

Definitely.

Stereotyping also is a bad idea, though I find that Thai's are better at living together and maintaining space - even in the same room - so in general it works out a little easier in that respect than with some women I remember from England... 

Maybe I'm different - I didn't have many of the issues that I heard many guys had with their women.

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9 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 Best advice- don't have a legal marriage. If she insists on being married have a village wedding, which you can walk away from when it all goes wrong, and it will. 50% or western marriages fail, so why would farang men think one to a Thai woman with all the cultural stuff as well will be more successful.

If one gets married legally, she has you for everything she can get out of you, and if she manages to get a child by you, you are the meal ticket for life.

 

If one does get married, never pay for property, as you can't take that with you. Only buy things that you can use, and can afford to leave behind when it all turns to poo.

 

Yes, some do succeed, but how many out of all the thousands of Thai/farang marriages?

I knew I was in trouble when I had a m'bike accident and she had to take me to hospital every day. I expected her to be happy to help her loving husband that cared for her so well, but no gratitude was in evidence, only a reluctant misery guts that HAD to do something for her husband, but not because she wanted to. Different story when she was in hospital though.

 

Marriage is a gamble anyway. Don't put yourself in harm's way more than you have to.

I find the Thais are basically child like, happy when they are getting what they want, throwing the toys out of the pram and blaming the Farang when they don't get what they want.

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10 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Well some of us never went to Thailand for the hedonistic attractions of Pattaya, Patong  and the like. 

Me and my wife lived in Singapore before I decided Thailand was our low cost retirement destination.

 

So if that makes us boring, I'll fess up, guilty as charged.

We're just a normal couple, son, working slobs (well she is) splitting out time between the US & Thailand, and as I guess you would characterize it, living a boring life.

 

One word of caution however.

 

We can all lead the hedonistic lifestyle, but as we get older, the thought of who we want to live with, can be a whole lot different to the question who do I want to die with!

 

I can't fault that response to be honest. Fair play. 

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10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 Best advice- don't have a legal marriage. If she insists on being married have a village wedding, which you can walk away from when it all goes wrong, and it will. 50% or western marriages fail, so why would farang men think one to a Thai woman with all the cultural stuff as well will be more successful.

If one gets married legally, she has you for everything she can get out of you, and if she manages to get a child by you, you are the meal ticket for life.

 

If one does get married, never pay for property, as you can't take that with you. Only buy things that you can use, and can afford to leave behind when it all turns to poo.

 

Yes, some do succeed, but how many out of all the thousands of Thai/farang marriages?

I knew I was in trouble when I had a m'bike accident and she had to take me to hospital every day. I expected her to be happy to help her loving husband that cared for her so well, but no gratitude was in evidence, only a reluctant misery guts that HAD to do something for her husband, but not because she wanted to. Different story when she was in hospital though.

 

Marriage is a gamble anyway. Don't put yourself in harm's way more than you have to.

Yawn. Change the record man. Not everyone is a loser.

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15 hours ago, roulax said:

Learn to speak thai proficiently.

Most of Thai girls learn to speak decent english as they meet a foreigner, but there are always gaps in communication and big misunderstandings linked with cultural difference.

Mastering both partners languages will help you out big time.

Do you accept that older farangs will probably never "master" Thai? Anyone with age related hearing loss will not be able to hear the difference in tones. Many times I have said something only to be told I'm saying something else, but when they say the word correctly, it sounds exactly like the one I said.

 

Anyway, who wants to be able to understand all the horrible things that Thais say about us? Not me.

I learned enough to be able to live successfully in LOS, and never felt the urge to have a conversation about what they had for dinner, or understand Thai soaps on tv.

 

When my marriage failed, it was nothing to do with not speaking Thai conversationally. My wife spoke excellent English.

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14 hours ago, colinneil said:

Many people married do not trust their partner, want to know where they have been, who with, check their partners phone etc.

LOL. I trusted my wife, and it wasn't till it was over that I found out how untrustworthy she had been.

Had I not trusted her, I'd have been far better off financially today.

I had no issues with her going off to do her thing, and she sometimes told me about how someone had been trying it on with her. She worked, like a normal Thai person, so I wouldn't have been able to "check up" on her all the time anyway.

 

BTW, how do they check their partner's phones when they can't read Thai?

 

14 hours ago, colinneil said:

The very small insignificant things, like telling her you love her, good night my darling, good morning my darling, we do this every day.

Us too, I knew it was over when she stopped telling me that she loved me, as she knew how important that was to me.

 

14 hours ago, colinneil said:

My wife can come and go as she pleases, if she wants to tell me where she is going/has been, up to her, i never ask.

Me too.

 

14 hours ago, colinneil said:

for over 5 years she has done almost everything for me,

That lasted the first year, then it slowly diminished to the point she wouldn't do anything for me.

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6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 

 

That lasted the first year, then it slowly diminished to the point she wouldn't do anything for me.

You are fully aware of my situation, so why bother posting that comment.

Ok so you are bitter regarding your time in Thailand, so you got out.

Many of us, me included have had bad experiences with Thai ladies.

You should be aware that not all Thai ladies are bad.

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"Yes Dear"

 

I'm told that these two words are the key to a happy marriage, the whole world over.

(Apparently I wasn't a very good "yes" man, twice, in my home country)

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The majority of men searching for a better life in Thailand, together with the women searching a foreigner is a deadly mix, and give most very few chanches of a happy life. 

 

If both parties know to suck it up, and try to make it better for them self and for their partner, both is on their way to succeed. It takes two to tango, and that is the hardest learning. 

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12 minutes ago, colinneil said:

You are fully aware of my situation, so why bother posting that comment.

Ok so you are bitter regarding your time in Thailand, so you got out.

Many of us, me included have had bad experiences with Thai ladies.

You should be aware that not all Thai ladies are bad.

Sorry you took it that way. I was just contributing my experience compared to yours, and not making any comment on you personally.

Bitter about my time in Thailand? Not at all. I loved Thailand ( despite all the problems I had there ), and wished to live there till I died. Unfortunately I chose the wrong woman to do it with, and ended up not being able to live there anymore, because I didn't have enough money to pay for accommodation and medical insurance both. I could have stayed without insurance, but that's not a situation I want to get into in Thailand.

If I'm bitter, it's at myself for making the biggest mistake in my life, and getting legally married. Had I been clever, I'd have had a village wedding. I don't think I made a mistake with her initially, as she was a lovely, lovely woman, but her family ruined our marriage ( and her ).

 

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