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Are you married to a Thai woman – Any Snippets of Advice .


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24 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I have a translation ap on my phone that works great for text. 

Sorry, but if anyone feels the need to examine their partners phone and get it translated etc, its already over! The trust has gone and been replaced with suspicion. Dont delude yourself because without trust you have nothing.

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1 minute ago, CharlieH said:

Sorry, but if anyone feels the need to examine their partners phone and get it translated etc, its already over! The trust has gone and been replaced with suspicion. Dont delude yourself.

I was responding to a question another poster had about how do you check a woman's phone if you don't read Thai.  I use the app for lots of things while shopping or reading messages in the rest room.  I've had a number of relationships in Thailand and got used to counting the money in my wallet at night and in the morning to see if the amount was the same.  Better safe than sorry and the only being I trust is my dog. 

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18 hours ago, Whip Me Granny said:

What would your advice be , what after all Your years of being married to a Thai woman , in your personal opinion makes a successful long term marriage work

Are you writing a dissertation or something?  tens of thousands of books written on how to "make marriage work" "successful marriages"  Maybe Thai women on the average are different than european or american women, yet as statistics show - all marriages seem to have around a 50-50 chance. 

 

As one intelligent poster here has mentioned many times (do not see him on this thread yet), Summarizing:  take your time, get to know the person, do not rush into marriage, etc... 

Same info for anyone anywhere who has that incomprehensible need to make a relationship "official" and get a "certificate"  to make it "legal" .  Marriage does not always make a relationship more loving or caring, yet one advantage in Thailand is you can keep 400,000 baht in the bank instead of 800,000 baht if retired.

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32 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Translates from Thai to English and many other languages, camera, handwriting, conversation, voice.

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I wish you good luck with trusting that one 😄

 

have you become any wiser by the time using it? 

 

The day I have check my gf¨s phone, I will leave here.  

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Wading into this thread feels like wading into an alligator pit, but here goes. Will keep my comments general.

 

Few years back, a poster wrote something like: "people forget to consider basic compatibility when choosing a mate." Compatibility is defined as a state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict. Really struck me as sage advice. When there's a cultural and/or language gap, an otherwise reasonable amount of conflict can destabilize a relationship because it takes more effort to resolve conflict across different cultures and language. Can sometimes be exhausting.

 

I'm with the guys who advocate a 'go-slow' approach to getting married, moving in together, or even getting sexually involved. I know, sounds very old fashioned, but, again, when you're talking about different cultures and language barrier, it takes a lot longer to figure out and get a solid handle on who you're dealing with. It's very easy to fake compatability. All you have to do is say 'yes' and 'up to you' a lot.

 

And I don't care how good your girlfriend's English is or how good your Thai is, it takes a lot of time to assess someone's character and values across a language barrier. You might know after a first date if she likes spicy food, but figuring out things like her integrity, interest in learning, commitment to a healthy lifestyle, financial discipline, religious views, sticktoitiveness, etc., takes a lot of time. In the vacuum created by a language barrier, it is easy to assume values are mutually held, only to discover down the road this isn't the case. Taking extra time before you commit is very wise advice.

 

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18 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Don't get married. My GF and I are 8 years into a good relationship.

Look after the good ones well, and they will look after you even better. The trick is to find a good one.

If you are over 60, fathering children is not a good idea. Teenagers when you are in your seventies, and luk kreungs to boot?

Leave 80% of your assets in your country of origin.

 

Apologies if that doesn't fit within your template; however, you were asking for advice.

I agree, my partner and I live together for 13 years, We will never marry and the relationship is negotiable and positive. She doesnt want any more kids ( made that mistake once 23 years ago with a Thai, he did a runner after 6 months). Her honesty is about money; tells me if we are not married she cant get to my money; but once married all my money is hers.

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I have been married to my Thai lady 11 yrs now. We live in a village up Khon Kaen way.

The 100% No No's are.

1: Do Not LIVE CLOSE TO FAMILY, They will be in and out of your house, borrowing or taking anything. Do not allow any to sleep overnight, dangerouse. Before you get a house make sure your wife understands your rules.

2: Do NOT lend family any money even if you document it. 

3: Do NOT LEND THEM ANY OF YOUR TOOLS OR HOUSE GOODS. YOU WILL NOT SEE THEM AGAIN OR THEY BREAK THEM AND ACT INOCENT.

4: Arrange a deal with your wife on money, monthly. And make sure she knows no more. They will tend to loan or give to some of the family.

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There are way too many tips that I can give... but let me add this... 

 

first, there are plenty of us who had first marriages in our own country where languages were in common, that had problems... more important than words are actions and intent...

 

people change, relationships change too... no guarantee that anything will remain the same. 

 

check out the family first - old adage about apple not falling far from the tree.. 

 

ps - I have a village wedding, about 18 years ago.. 

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20 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Don't get married. My GF and I are 8 years into a good relationship.

Look after the good ones well, and they will look after you even better. The trick is to find a good one.

If you are over 60, fathering children is not a good idea. Teenagers when you are in your seventies, and luk kreungs to boot?

Leave 80% of your assets in your country of origin.

 

Apologies if that doesn't fit within your template; however, you were asking for advice.

great advise...its such a pity that so many 'mature' farlang men, cant use this type of common sense...

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