Jump to content

Are you married to a Thai woman – Any Snippets of Advice .


Recommended Posts

If I had it to do over again knowing what I know today?  I would not have married a Thai woman.  It has to do with the xenophobia baked into the culture that runs from the average villager right through the fabric of the culture to the top echelons of the elite in Government House and beyond.  
Bottom line:  
You are an outsider!  You will always and forever be an outsider.  You are tolerated, not welcomed. You will never be accepted.  You will be considered suspect as a potential criminal for the entire duration of your life and as such tracked with more scrutiny than a violent Thai parolee.  And in your final days if as you are dying, if you are unable to manage your financial and immigration related affairs, your dying days could be spend dying and rotting on the floor in a Thai immigration detention center instead of at home surrounded by your family - because you sir, are an evil Farang and being comatose or an extremely sick invalid or a shell of a person due to dementia or Alzheimer's is no excuse for overstay - and don't even bother thinking that the Thai government has even a milligram of compassion for you, no less having the compassion to issue you a Medical Visa or 'bend the rules' and allow you to die in peace with the family that you have supported and loved for years or even decades.  Compassion is a one-way street.  Your compassion for your Thai family.  Compassion by Thais other than your own family will never be directed towards you in this country when it's citizens claim to be compassionate Buddhists.  That compassion is only for other Thais my dear Farang.
Foreigners are not respected here, only milked until the milk runs dry.


So Op.  My suggestion to you?  Find a woman in a country where you are welcome.  Thailand is not that country.  Don't even consider sinking roots - get out while you can.  

You've been warned!

 

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 226
  • Created
  • Last Reply
8 minutes ago, connda said:

If I had it to do over again knowing what I know today?  I would not have married a Thai woman.  It has to do with the xenophobia baked into the culture that runs from the average villager right through the fabric of the culture to the top echelons of the elite in Government House and beyond.  
Bottom line:  
You are an outsider!  You will always and forever be an outsider.  You are tolerated, not welcomed. You will never be accepted.  You will be considered suspect as a potential criminal for the entire duration of your life and as such tracked with more scrutiny than a violent Thai parolee.  And in your final days if as you are dying, if you are unable to manage your financial and immigration related affairs, your dying days could be spend dying and rotting on the floor in a Thai immigration detention center instead of at home surrounded by your family - because you sir, are an evil Farang and being comatose or an extremely sick invalid or a shell of a person due to demenia or Alzheimer's is no excuse for overstay - and don't think that the Thai government has even a ounce of compassion to issue you a Medical Visa or 'bend the rules' and allow you to die in peace with the family that you have supported for years or even decades.
Foreigners are not respected here, only milked until the milk runs dry.


So Op.  My suggestion to you?  Find a woman in a country where you are welcome.  Thailand is not that country.

 

 

 

 

How sad your life must be ,been married 20 years ,courting before that ,she is just like women all over the world ,her family are great ,i am just one of them ,and my family in The UK like them and visit when over .

Am i lucky? no just normal like so many of my friends who have been married to Thai women for donkeys years .

Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Don't get married. My GF and I are 8 years into a good relationship.

Look after the good ones well, and they will look after you even better. The trick is to find a good one.

If you are over 60, fathering children is not a good idea. Teenagers when you are in your seventies, and luk kreungs to boot?

Leave 80% of your assets in your country of origin.

 

Apologies if that doesn't fit within your template; however, you were asking for advice.

I live by pretty much the same rules. Though with regards to assets split I'd say just make sure you have some place to return to if all goes wrong. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

When you are looking for a Thai wife, and you start dating one who is a maybe, if it is possible to be friendly with another farang whose Thai wife knows your intended and her family, find out all you can about them, as well of course your intended.

You should get a good idea of your intendeds past, the obvious things are, is she or her family likely to try and use you as a walking ATM?

Common sense should tell you what else you should try and find out, but financial circumstances and thinking of buying a house etc, should be at the top of the list.

You should of course ask about what you want to know in a very discrete way.

I have been with my wife for thirteen years and married for eight.

Link to post
Share on other sites
22 minutes ago, bert bloggs said:

How sad your life must be ,been married 20 years ,courting before that ,she is just like women all over the world ,her family are great ,i am just one of them ,and my family in The UK like them and visit when over .

Am i lucky? no just normal like so many of my friends who have been married to Thai women for donkeys years .

Considering this is the reality of expat life in Thailand - yeah, it's sad.

SoD.jpg.834c752d363b34f30754dce278f688fd.jpg

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Tagged said:

I wish you good luck with trusting that one 😄

 

have you become any wiser by the time using it? 

 

The day I have check my gf¨s phone, I will leave here.  

Don't use it on my wife's phone - never said I did.  It helps me a lot when shopping and reading those cryptic messages that stare at me when I'm using the toilet in a Thai restroom.  Leaving here when you check your GF's phone is rather an odd thing to do.  If the GF cheats, get another - no reason to blame all Thai women.  In my almost 80 years I've only had 4 cheating wives and 632 cheating GF's - not too bad eh?

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
24 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

When you are looking for a Thai wife, and you start dating one who is a maybe, if it is possible to be friendly with another farang whose Thai wife knows your intended and her family, find out all you can about them, as well of course your intended.

You should get a good idea of your intendeds past, the obvious things are, is she or her family likely to try and use you as a walking ATM?

Common sense should tell you what else you should try and find out, but financial circumstances and thinking of buying a house etc, should be at the top of the list.

You should of course ask about what you want to know in a very discrete way.

I have been with my wife for thirteen years and married for eight.

I checked her financial statement and made sure she could borrow 4 mil before we got married.  Same with any women in any country.  If they can't borrow money at a bank run away. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, shaurene said:

I have been married to my Thai lady 11 yrs now. We live in a village up Khon Kaen way.

The 100% No No's are.

1: Do Not LIVE CLOSE TO FAMILY, They will be in and out of your house, borrowing or taking anything. Do not allow any to sleep overnight, dangerouse. Before you get a house make sure your wife understands your rules.

2: Do NOT lend family any money even if you document it. 

3: Do NOT LEND THEM ANY OF YOUR TOOLS OR HOUSE GOODS. YOU WILL NOT SEE THEM AGAIN OR THEY BREAK THEM AND ACT INOCENT.

4: Arrange a deal with your wife on money, monthly. And make sure she knows no more. They will tend to loan or give to some of the family.

With all due respect as surely that is your experience, but not 100% the same for others. I differ on every point. 

 

1. My wife has a great family. We built in the village and then assisted the other family members to move onto our property. We have 4 homes in a compound and it was a great choice. They do not come in and out of my house, respect privacy and mostly we gather in the driveway, elders, kids, cooking together, roasting bananas, whatever. 

2. I have both given and lent money to members of family... all paid back in full and within reasonable time. I never had to ask for it back as I knew when they had the money, they would pay...

3. They don't tend to borrow things - we might borrow their tools. They are farmers and always there to help if anything needs to be done. 

4. We are not rigid with money in our marriage. I give my wife a certain amount monthly for her needs, food and some for family too.

She does not loan money and if there is a need for more, she asks. We do not have drunks or gamblers in the family. Just hard working, kind farmers who I am glad to help and I enjoy living with. 

 

your results surely vary... 

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

With all due respect as surely that is your experience, but not 100% the same for others. I differ on every point. 

 

1. My wife has a great family. We built in the village and then assisted the other family members to move onto our property. We have 4 homes in a compound and it was a great choice. They do not come in and out of my house, respect privacy and mostly we gather in the driveway, elders, kids, cooking together, roasting bananas, whatever. 

2. I have both given and lent money to members of family... all paid back in full and within reasonable time. I never had to ask for it back as I knew when they had the money, they would pay...

3. They don't tend to borrow things - we might borrow their tools. They are farmers and always there to help if anything needs to be done. 

4. We are not rigid with money in our marriage. I give my wife a certain amount monthly for her needs, food and some for family too.

She does not loan money and if there is a need for more, she asks. We do not have drunks or gamblers in the family. Just hard working, kind farmers who I am glad to help and I enjoy living with. 

 

your results surely vary... 

My brother in law lent me a tractor and a truck.  Said bring them back whenever, a year or two OK.  Glad I don't know you. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, crazykopite said:

If you want a peaceful life hand over your ATM card and always make sure there is money in it as they say “ No Money No Honey “

Adolescent behavior.  Adults have the lady borrow 4 mill and the male makes the payments.  Hence you become an important family asset.  If you leave the family goes broke because they can't make the payments. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I checked her financial statement and made sure she could borrow 4 mil before we got married.  Same with any women in any country.  If they can't borrow money at a bank run away. 

When I first met my wife, her house was half built, and obviously the bank gave her a mortgage, so to your way of thinking, I should not run. I didn't, and have now been with her for a very happy 13 years.

Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, colinneil said:

My snippet OP, be honest with your wife, respect her, compliment her, trust her.

Many people married do not trust their partner, want to know where they have been, who with, check their partners phone etc.

I never touch my wifes phone, she the same, never go in my wifes bag, she never touches my wallet.

The very small insignificant things, like telling her you love her, good night my darling, good morning my darling, we do this every day.

My wife can come and go as she pleases, if she wants to tell me where she is going/has been, up to her, i never ask.

We have been married 8 years, for over 5 years she has done almost everything for me, the things i am no longer able to do.

Fantastic, caring, loving wife, i am a lucky man.

You have certainly been a very lucky man regarding you wife Colin. But very unlucky in what happened to you. You have my admiration on how you have coped since your accident.

Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

When I first met my wife, her house was half built, and obviously the bank gave her a mortgage, so to your way of thinking, I should not run. I didn't, and have now been with her for a very happy 13 years.

I'd agree 100%  I've been happy for 8 years and the loan is paid off in two.  Then she can buy a car. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.


×
×
  • Create New...