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Are you married to a Thai woman – Any Snippets of Advice .

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My advice.... marry a Lao woman.....

(TG, happily married to a Thai for 14 years).....

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4 hours ago, Skallywag said:

Are you writing a dissertation or something?  tens of thousands of books written on how to "make marriage work" "successful marriages"  Maybe Thai women on the average are different than european or american women, yet as statistics show - all marriages seem to have around a 50-50 chance. 

 

As one intelligent poster here has mentioned many times (do not see him on this thread yet), Summarizing:  take your time, get to know the person, do not rush into marriage, etc... 

Same info for anyone anywhere who has that incomprehensible need to make a relationship "official" and get a "certificate"  to make it "legal" .  Marriage does not always make a relationship more loving or caring, yet one advantage in Thailand is you can keep 400,000 baht in the bank instead of 800,000 baht if retired.

A better advantage whether you are married or not is to see an agent, of course not in an illegal way.

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4 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Wading into this thread feels like wading into an alligator pit, but here goes. Will keep my comments general.

 

Few years back, a poster wrote something like: "people forget to consider basic compatibility when choosing a mate." Compatibility is defined as a state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict. Really struck me as sage advice. When there's a cultural and/or language gap, an otherwise reasonable amount of conflict can destabilize a relationship because it takes more effort to resolve conflict across different cultures and language. Can sometimes be exhausting.

 

I'm with the guys who advocate a 'go-slow' approach to getting married, moving in together, or even getting sexually involved. I know, sounds very old fashioned, but, again, when you're talking about different cultures and language barrier, it takes a lot longer to figure out and get a solid handle on who you're dealing with. It's very easy to fake compatability. All you have to do is say 'yes' and 'up to you' a lot.

 

And I don't care how good your girlfriend's English is or how good your Thai is, it takes a lot of time to assess someone's character and values across a language barrier. You might know after a first date if she likes spicy food, but figuring out things like her integrity, interest in learning, commitment to a healthy lifestyle, financial discipline, religious views, sticktoitiveness, etc., takes a lot of time. In the vacuum created by a language barrier, it is easy to assume values are mutually held, only to discover down the road this isn't the case. Taking extra time before you commit is very wise advice.

 

Excellent post.....

That's the only (successful/smart)  way to approach it.....

It's takes, time, work, patience, teamwork, effort, observation, & introspection before seriously going forward....

Any early "red flags" ignored (or over thought about/analyzed & dismissed) are going to cause major headaches/*hell*/heartaches on down the road.....

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2 hours ago, Dania2019 said:

Take care - the culture is a big difference if she is is really thai. Only few you really can trust, and the Government do what they like and don`t care about us. 

I am not sure how many Thai girls you can trust, I have only had a long relationship with one.

You are 100% right about the Thai government.

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Posted (edited)
22 hours ago, Pravda said:

I will tell you one thing.

 

If you think that Thai women are submissive, quiet women that take on domestic duties like Pete above me says you are in for a world of hurt. As Thai women become more independent and not depend on men for income they are about 100 times more feminazis then what you would encounter "back home" in the west.

 

Just my observation. Others will disagree

 

 

Yes, I do disagree.

My experience has not been the same as yours I guess.  But, the US women are the worst I believe.  There are many many more women here who are submissive and domesticated from my experience.  Much better and giving sexually also.

But, you will not find them in some bar or freelance place.  The business women in Bangkok also mostly not.

Many places in this country still with good down to earth women who will take care properly.

 

PS: The weak western male has created these issues.  Allowing women to control them.  Do not allow that to happen set the rules very early on.

Edited by bkk6060
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If she is less than 1/2 your age......you are doomed before u start.

If she has ever worked in a bar, you are doomed before u start.

If she has told you any version of you must give hr X number of BHAT per month, u are doomed before u start.

If she has never had a regular job but speaks pretty good English.......don’t believe for a minute th he never worked in a bar.

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2 minutes ago, Captain 776 said:

If she is less than 1/2 your age......you are doomed before u start.

If she has ever worked in a bar, you are doomed before u start.

If she has told you any version of you must give hr X number of BHAT per month, u are doomed before u start.

If she has never had a regular job but speaks pretty good English.......don’t believe for a minute th he never worked in a bar.

Not in all cases but another tell tale for bargirls are tattoos.

Do not know if I have ever met one who did not have a tat someplace.

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Posted (edited)

I have been with my Thai Lady since 26 years and have been married 23 years with her.
My advice: Do not marry too fast. It is good to get to know each other better over a period of 2-3 years.
After, if all traffic lights are green then, you can say yes to a marriage. Especially when children are wanted and trust is there.
 

Edited by tomacht8
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18 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Yes, I do disagree.

My experience has not been the same as yours I guess.  But, the US women are the worst I believe.  There are many many more women here who are submissive and domesticated from my experience.  Much better and giving sexually also.

But, you will not find them in some bar or freelance place.  The business women in Bangkok also mostly not.

Many places in this country still with good down to earth women who will take care properly.

 

PS: The weak western male has created these issues.  Allowing women to control them.  Do not allow that to happen set the rules very early on.

And never beat her with a stick thicker than your thumb.

Did you know that's where the expression rule of thumb came from. Just thought I'd throw that in.

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