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Birthday, this upsets me


kevin612

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My wife took me to the food court at Rama 9 this year for my birthday and then bought herself a new handbag. We had a laugh about it after she asked me of I enjoyed my day and I said boring to normal on the excitement scale.

 

Lighten up, she probably doesnt think your birthday is hugely devestating if the pressy is missing.

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It's a different culture in many basic ways. Try walking around with a toothpick in your mouth and see what happens... what may seem significant or insignificant to you might not be on their radar at all. Neither right nor wrong. Adapt and accept or go somewhere else... or just keep complaining here as many of us do...

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5 hours ago, PatOngo said:

Maybe the poor dear just plain forgot. Pamper her a little, new mocy, upgraded iPhone, show her you really care and she'll remember next year for sure!

I agree. If you give her presents on your birthday she won't forget when it is.

 

Not the same, but my long time friend says birthdays are not important to Thais. I always wish her happy birthday but she never acknowledges mine. Up to me. No gifts.

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Today is my 70th birthday, and in 12 days my b/f's 30th. This weekend we will have a barbie at the family farm in our honour - organized by us. About 20 members of the family, all living at or around the farm, will turn up. Not because it's our birthdays but because the food is free.

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5 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Does she have her own money ?

or does she have to ask you for money ? 

 

If it's the latter then you know why, she can hardly ask you for money to get you something can she.

 

LOL. My wife asked me for money to buy me a bicycle for my birthday. She said it was half the cost, but knowing what I know now, I may have paid it all myself, as not a very good ( 2nd hand ) bicycle, and new ones available for what I gave her. That was back in the early days when we were still sweet.

Surprisingly I can actually smile about it. She was a terrible liar, but love is blind.

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36 minutes ago, elgenon said:

I agree. If you give her presents on your birthday she won't forget when it is.

 

Not the same, but my long time friend says birthdays are not important to Thais. I always wish her happy birthday but she never acknowledges mine. Up to me. No gifts.

Oh. Birthdays and mother's day etc were all very important to my wife as she expected something from me. She usually gave me a nice card.

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I can do better than that!

 

A relationship for three years with a woman from Isaan, produced nothing for three years, for birthday, Valentines day (same as my birthday) Christmas, New Year's Day - Western, Chinese or Thai.

 

I did get "something" one year from her daughter on Father's day - a wai that lasted all of a pico second!

 

And yes, she received love and affection and many gifts on her Special Days, not to mention her mortgage, paying for two motor bikes, B40,000 for her best friend who found me for her!! It's true, I'm afraid!! And plenty more I won't bore you with!

 

In contrast, this year, my Thai wife booked flight tickets. and resort hotels in Krabi for my birthday - yes, we went together!! Not because she is rich but because she loves me!!

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6 hours ago, kevin612 said:

She said happy birthday to me

i feel bad because is me who forget everything,my wife all way buy me flower,chocolat,for my birtday or anniversary! most of the time i forget! sorry darling...

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4 hours ago, monkeycu said:

You just cant please some people :blink:

But seriously at 62 you want to be reminded each year that the end is coming at you like a run away freight train

that what i think i am 75 years old!

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Nothing worry.

 

When I have personal issues, I turn to this forum.

 

I was going to wish you a happy birthday, but I noticed someone already did that.

 

Anyway, happy birthday. Bros before hoes

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Had a long talk with old GF friends.  They were all gaga over the fact that i bought her presents and a cake.  Same thing valentines.  They said i wish my husband was so nice.  I asked what they bought husbands or did for them on their birthday.  

 

The answer was that they do nothing just wish husband did for them. 

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6 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Does she have her own money ?

or does she have to ask you for money ? 

 

If it's the latter then you know why, she can hardly ask you for money to get you something can she.

 

It is the thought that counts ???? (even if you have to pay for your present)

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In my relationship we never make any big deal about birthdays, indeed we usually spend birthdays apart...

This year was an exception we were together for hers....I didn't;t get her a card, a gift or flowers...it was just a regular day but we went for a nice meal together. I don't know what all the fuss about birthdays is. (sic)

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Thais do not put as much importance on birthdays as we farangs do. And, in my case there is nothing she can buy that I either want or don't already have. She treats me like everyday is my birthday.........except when she doesn't. 555

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Reminds me of a thai girlfriend who used to insist that I generously tip everybody everywhere we went. Thais mean much more to thais; farang are a distant second, even with strangers.

But you know what I would do? I would give her a second chance, but I would set her up. Tell her that you want to go out to celebrate your birthday a few days late. Hype it up. If she brings you nothing, doesn't pay, then drop her. Or wait for her birthday and buy nothing. If she says anything, drop her. Sex her up first, though because I'm guessing you are a gentleman.

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8 hours ago, colinneil said:

Time to move on mate, happy birthday but no pressies or cake... Dump her, she dont care.

Did you forget her birthday, or did you pamper her?

In my experience, Thai women seem to be very keen on birthdays. Mine wants to get something nice and always wants to get me something nice.  If you are not as important to her as one of her friends then it would appear there is a problem in the relationship.  She might have her reasons but it would be wise to find out one way or the other why she didn't consider your special day very special. I like soistalker's idea.

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