Advice Needed

[swm59nj]

      Im 64 years old, retired from USA, and just moved to Bangkok a month ago. Im renting a condo in a high rise building 37 floors, Yesterday early afternoon the realtor that found the condo for me called me. He started rambling off about the lady who I spoke to on the elevator in the morning is going to the police about what I said to her. He said the building manager called him to come down to the building. I said to the realtor I spoke to no woman in the morning. And when I took the elevator to the lobby there was no one on the elevator with me. I told the realtor I will meet him and the building manager in the lobby.

     The building manager who is Thai and speaks English kept talking to the realtor in Thai. I was told by the realtor that I made inappropriate comments to a woman on the elevator. That I told her she was dressed like a hooker, I asked her if she was a hooker, and I got very close to her. And she was going to the police. Supposedly this woman is Thai and she lives in the building.

     I told the realtor and the manager they were both nuts. And I was calling the American Embassy. I said to them that there are cameras in the elevators. I said I want to see the video of me and this woman in the elevator. The manager then said something in Thai to the realtor and disappeared. The manager then returns with the goofy smile she usually has and says she looked at the video. She said the man in the elevator with the woman is not me. And she was acting like its a big joke. 

    I asked why wasn't the video looked at first before I was accused and faced all these people. The manager claims the woman reported the incident to the lobby guard. The man was described as an "old farang". So the guard thought it was me. I again asked why wasn't the video looked at first before I was accused. The manager then said a different guard looked at the video. And thought the man looked like me.

     What kind of BS is this? Either it is me or it isn't me. So a guard looks at the video and says its me. Then the building manager looks at the video herself and confirms its not me? Why didn't the manager look at the video first before having me involved? Then the first guard involved comes over to me and starts that bowing thing. I guess as an apology.

      Should I contact the management company headquarters to file a complaint? I called the American Embassy in Bangkok. They said I can email a report to them. But maybe it will just be a waste of time.

[ThaiBunny]

This Is Thailand. Get used to it. We all look the same

[sanemax]

Go and find the other guy and tell him to lay low for a while 

[CharlieH]

Possibly they were working from memory as you were not stood in front them and just thought it was you from memory.

 

The moment you were stood in front of them it was clearly not you. Simple mistake, nothing more dramatic than that.

 

 

[NCC1701A]

9 minutes ago, swm59nj said:

Should I contact the management company headquarters to file a complaint

file a lawsuit against everyone, the woman, building, manager, real estate agent and the guard.

[RichardColeman]

Many years ago I had to go up to London Thai Embassy to get my son registered dual nationality. I had to make a phone call as I do not carry a mobile. Made the call, no problem. Came out of the booth and there is two coppers stood there waiting for me. "Can we look in your bag, please sir". Now naturally taken back and thrown by this I felt slightly aggrieved and aggressive about it - bit like the poster of this post. "I said OK,no problem" - it is there job after all. Coppers get a look at my paperback and lunch, smile and ask if i want a copy of their stop and search, I say no, I just want to know why they wanted to look. their response "We thought you might be putting up escort cards in the phone boxes !!" My point is don;t get too worried about silly stupid things, they happen, if your innocent just stand your corner and put it behind you. Remember - you are not the only old farang in Thailand !

[SteveK]

You got a bow, or an apology, which is quite remarkable! Well done. I've never had that from any Thai person, ever.

 

[vogie]

A similar incident happened to me on my gated housing estate. I went in the little shop they have to buy some ice, had a bit of a laugh with some Thai workers there, left and thought nothing else about it. About 1830hrs my wifes phone rang and the lady from the shop informed my wife that I had stolen a mobile phone. It was too late to do anything about it by this time, but went down next morning and had a word with the manager/owner of our estate, by this stage I was fuming. He checked the cctv and it showed another farang picking the phone up, whether by mistake or on purpose, I don't know. But if they hadn't had a cctv I would be always known as the man that stole the phone, this was last year, I havn't been in the shop since.

 

Edited July 12, 2019 by vogie

[PatOngo]

Research the defamation laws, you may be on a winner here!

[evadgib]

Many years ago I was surprised when an agitated bloke turned up unannounced making a lot of noise & with his arms going like an Olympic swimmer. In short something had happened involving a foreigner and a motorbike and as I am one (& owned the other) some b****** pointed the finger at me.

As i & the bike weren't damaged he buggered off leaving us none-the-wiser as to what had occurred. 

With hindsite this was mildly amusing, but the mob-handedness of his arrival mirrors the experience of the OP.

Edited July 12, 2019 by evadgib

[Isaanbiker]

30 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

file a lawsuit against everyone, the woman, building, manager, real estate agent and the guard.

Do not kick your own luggage, do not even think about hitting them.

Take it easy, cheesy/ 

[Puchaiyank]

It would have been more interesting had they told you how many baht you needed to pay to make this accusation go away...????

[Farangwithaplan]

Op, put it down to an important life lesson. You learned it early, which is good. It often pays to hear out all the people involved if something like this should ever happen again. Let them have their say and when they are finished, calmly advise on how it could not be possible. In your case it would be a case of asking to see the video as you did.

 

By not reacting during accusation times you keep from escalating the situation more than it needs to. Even if it seems the locals are getting excited, be sure that it can get a whole lot more 'interesting' if it becomes a slanging match.

 

Then after you have stated your case calmly, do not get angry when they realise their error. Allow the accusers an out to save a bit of face and act with good grace. You now have something on them and in condo living, one day you will need to call on that goodwill and when that day comes, they will remember.

 

I would recommend you speak no more of the matter and work toward making friends with the security team, who change regularly, and the juristic office team as well as the cleaners and ground staff.

 

[jvs]

1 hour ago, NCC1701A said:

file a lawsuit against everyone, the woman, building, manager, real estate agent and the guard.

Would work in Kansas maybe but not here.

Edited July 12, 2019 by jvs
worried about grammer maffia!!!!!

[Lacessit]

24 minutes ago, Farangwithaplan said:

 

I would recommend you speak no more of the matter and work toward making friends with the security team, who change regularly, and the juristic office team as well as the cleaners and ground staff.

 

Every New Year, I give a bottle of Hong Thong to each of the security guards, and chocolates to the female condo counter staff.

It costs me about 1000 baht a year to know they will listen to me if I have any problem. It's paid off several times.

[NancyL]

Get used to it.  We all look alike.  

 

Recently, I was visiting a friend at a nursing home/assisted living center that is on a large plot of real estate.  When my Grab driver showed up, he told the guard at the gate that he was there to pick up "Nancy".  The guard was quite concerned and when the driver returned with an older, white-haired lady, the guard wouldn't let us leave.

 

He showed me a notebook with photos and descriptions of all the residents.  Turns out there is a resident named "Nancy", at least a decade older than me, thinner, and clearly suffering from dementia judging from her photo.  She was in a wheelchair.  She did have short, white hair and pink skin like mine.  

 

There was no leaving until the security guard called the assisted living unit and confirmed that "Nancy" was still present and I was another "Nancy" who was free to leave.  

 

No point in getting upset.  I would have wanted similar vigilance if "Nancy" was a member of my family.

[Lacessit]

10 minutes ago, NancyL said:

 

 

 

No point in getting upset.  I would have wanted similar vigilance if "Nancy" was a member of my family.

Good point. Vigilance by security staff is desirable, because word gets around to the wrong people if it is slack.

[Farangwithaplan]

54 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Every New Year, I give a bottle of Hong Thong to each of the security guards, and chocolates to the female condo counter staff.

It costs me about 1000 baht a year to know they will listen to me if I have any problem. It's paid off several times.

Yep, I do a similar thing and I get treated like royalty. I get priority car and bike parking, allowance made if I get things like a furniture delivery or need maintenance outside of normal hours. And free food. It is rare I get to walk through the front doors without being given a piece of fruit or something ????

 

[RJRS1301]

Yep always speak with security, use your Thai language skills, even if rudimentary. 

Speak with the cleaners and gardeners, it pays off. 

Good luck

[WalkingOrders]

This sounds like a simple mis-understanding. Let it go, dont look beyond for some sort of evil alterior motives. They just thought you were someone else. If any more weirdness happens just move. Smile and carry on.

 

Also let go of ideas of complaining to management, or going to the embassy. The embassy could care less, and save management for something life and death. In Thailand learn to let things go.

 

[djayz]

This is Thailand, we all look the same and they are all completely and utterly incompetent! Why else are they only worth THB 200-300/day. 

[Sheryl]

Emailing the Embassy is pointless. They have no jurisdiction and since you have not been charged with anything, no consular assistance needed.

 

You can complain to the management company if you like. Small chance it will have some effect but probably greater chance it won't.

 

If you had actually been charged, or if there were anything in writing or on any media stating you had done this you would have a defamation case but sounds like not.

[whiteman]

Could be a con between real estate and manager and lady picking on old farang that just moves in. Hoping to get a pay off times are tuff here now

[ColeBOzbourne]

Pick your battles carefully in life. This battle would accomplish nothing other than to create resentment and hard feelings. Drop it and remain friendly, they will think you a bigger man than if you throw a fit.

[sanemax]

It was just a simple case of mistaken identity  , stop making such a big fuss about nothing .

Calling the embassy !!!!!!

Dont you think that they and everyone else has better things to do than be concerned about such an irrelevant incident   ?

[josephbloggs]

1 hour ago, whiteman said:

Could be a con between real estate and manager and lady picking on old farang that just moves in. Hoping to get a pay off times are tuff here now

Definitely a set-up / con.  They obviously went to search for and found an old farang who might be confused for the poster, got him to agree to the con, put him in the lift and had him make inappropriate comments to a Thai lady so they could accuse the OP.

 

The plan was going so well until the sneaky OP asked to see the video, at which point the manager didn't say the CCTV wasn't working and instead said there was a mistake and it wasn't him.  Oh, and nobody asked for money.  

 

Yep, definitely a con.

[sanemax]

1 minute ago, josephbloggs said:

Definitely a set-up / con.  They obviously went to search for and found an old farang who might be confused for the poster, got him to agree to the con, put him in the lift and had him make inappropriate comments to a Thai lady so they could accuse the OP.

 

The plan was going so well until the sneaky OP asked to see the video, at which point the manager didn't say the CCTV wasn't working and instead said there was a mistake and it wasn't him.  Oh, and nobody asked for money.  

 

Yep, definitely a con.

Such an elaborate con  , I can envisage Quentin Taratino   making a movie about this 

[smutcakes]

1 hour ago, josephbloggs said:

Definitely a set-up / con.  They obviously went to search for and found an old farang who might be confused for the poster, got him to agree to the con, put him in the lift and had him make inappropriate comments to a Thai lady so they could accuse the OP.

 

The plan was going so well until the sneaky OP asked to see the video, at which point the manager didn't say the CCTV wasn't working and instead said there was a mistake and it wasn't him.  Oh, and nobody asked for money.  

 

Yep, definitely a con.

I hope you are being sarcastic.

[moontang]

My experience says that they only take offense if you offer less than a 1000, but it is often worth the risk., or should I say often they are worth less. 

[BurgerGung]

Years ago, someone accused me of dating a student. After work, I would go shopping and retire to my hotel room. No meals with ladies of any age.

 

My HoD or the accuser got Immigration Police involved. 

 

I went there in a huff.

 

Soon after, the Police said that I was innocent. - Malice? Halucinating or schidzophrenic victim? Hell knows. But such a silly "mistake" can end one's career for good.