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Solidpoo

How do thai guys save enough for marriage?

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2 hours ago, Tayaout said:

(i told her to stop working since the pay did not make any difference) but have a hard time spending 5K/month. I spend way more than this... My wife sister got pregnant and the father just flew away. So a lot of Thai men simply don't have to pay at all. We live in rural central Thailand. 

Same situation. 

 

2 hours ago, Tayaout said:

You are paying way too much and will probably feel the pain later. 

Thanks, after reading most of the posts i realise i need to be more cautious with my money. 

 

Not to mention renovation for her parent's 30 year old house seem to be resting on my shoulders (probably after marrying). Despite having 3 older working siblings, which should be contributing to her parent's income. All i got when asked why aren't your siblings helping out with finances, atleast for changing of the roof or doors was "you dont understand", "sister/brother no sabai", "my family not same your family". 

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5 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

Precisely, I pay a premium to have my blood sucked by a vampire...on demand...Vampire has never said no!!!   👍

I love it!  You have the best sense of humor....THX for the laughs!!!  I'll try and follow your advice as often as I can.  

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2 hours ago, Solidpoo said:

Not to mention renovation for her parent's 30 year old house seem to be resting on my shoulders (probably after marrying)

WHY is it your responsibility to fund anything???  When she says " you don't understand" Tell her/them, yeah, you're right, I don't understand, so I don't pay.  Try and explain it to me.  Break it down real simple and slow.  See what happens then.  Call her trump card.  You decide what you want to do, it is your money and life.  I'm just saying....

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2 minutes ago, mike787 said:

WHY is it your responsibility to fund anything???  When she says " you don't understand" Tell her/them, yeah, you're right, I don't understand, so I don't pay.  Try and explain it to me.  Break it down real simple and slow.  See what happens then.  Call her trump card.  You decide what you want to do, it is your money and life.  I'm just saying....

When you get married it's your wife's money.  Any country the girls are raised to think this and act like they've been shot if this does not take place.  I have girl children and I never told them but they all feel this way.  They get the paycheck and give the guys an allowance.  

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2 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

When you get married it's your wife's money.  Any country the girls are raised to think this and act like they've been shot if this does not take place.  I have girl children and I never told them but they all feel this way.  They get the paycheck and give the guys an allowance.  

...And that's the beauty of "Forums", a venue where people exchange perspectives.  Sometimes we will agree, other times agree to disagree, but hopefully gain a greater understanding of ourselves and others. 

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Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

When you get married it's your wife's money.  Any country the girls are raised to think this and act like they've been shot if this does not take place.  I have girl children and I never told them but they all feel this way.  They get the paycheck and give the guys an allowance.  

WHY is it HER money?  What law?  Who determines it is her money?  "Must" it be HER money?  WHY is not my money?  It was or is MY money since I earned it legally - right!  Do I have to give her MY money?  I do not understand, but I am trying to.  Who can explain this?  Anyone? Is it because I do not have a vagina?  Do I need a vagina to keep MY earned money? Where can I obtain a vagina?  Can anyone see where this is going?  Has anyone bothered to ask these questions, open a dialogue, or do we just proceed through life applying "binary" logic...asleep/unaware doing what others tell us or dictate?  Just asking!   

Edited by mike787

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On 7/26/2019 at 2:06 AM, amykat said:

They are taking advantage of your low self esteem ...you are trying too hard to please them and not aware of what you have to offer.  Thais always like to use peer pressure to make you feel bad, they also like to make you feel bad for motivation for some reason.   Rather than thanking you.

 

They are negotiating and will keep asking for more as long as you keep saying yes.  Your final yes in your mind, means to them, that they did not ask for enough, because they did not hear NO yet.

 

I would start to complain and lower the amount each time your gf speaks about it.  Or say you must lower your monthly payment to her now to save for it.  Why does Mom need more gold, you just gave gold?  If she needs gold buy it out of the 20K you give each month ....<deleted>?  You should probably just dump these people, you are on a bad path that will only get worse!!  But if you insist on keeping them, better learn how to negotiate hard and get some backbone or they will eat you alive as they have started.

 

And why are you sending so much money to her?  That is what old men send to hookers who are on their payroll???  And that is a big payment!!!  You don’t need to do that ...why don’t you find a girl your age who can earn money and share life with you, not suck you down the tubes????

And that's coming from an "expert".

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I guess you're fishing for some attention?  Your life must be very empty. 

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I’m sure she is getting married and your paying for the wedding and planning ahead... 

 

Question is...

 

Is she gonna marry you or has she got another Thai Fella lined up?

 

Good Luck with that one...

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Posted (edited)
On 7/26/2019 at 3:15 PM, Solidpoo said:

All i got when asked why aren't your siblings helping out with finances, atleast for changing of the roof or doors was "you dont understand", "sister/brother no sabai", "my family not same your family". 

I was going to keep quite till I read this. Think about it. You are being played. Why cant the brothers help? They are different. Scammers they see right where the money is going to come from. From your actions they are only going to try and get more and more and more.  I too have never heard of giving anything for an engagement.  Again think have you ever met a family that would say something like that? Then you accept it at face value. Sorry to be so harsh, but trying to save you mental and financial pain in the future.  My guess is you dont speak Thai so have no real idea what they feel about you..

Edited by marin
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According to the cultural tradition and the use of sin sod, that is only a thing for show. A thing that only supposed to look good.
This can be borrowed money or money coming from anywhere. Mostly the sin sod is given back to the couple after the marriage is done, with the exception of that 5-10% of the original amount can be given as well as one piece of gold for the brides mother.

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On 7/26/2019 at 5:21 AM, RotBenz8888 said:

Can you post a picture of her, we can help you judge how much she's worth.

Please oh please dont let it be this one!

 

 

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