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Solidpoo

How do thai guys save enough for marriage?

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first, thais are still paying sin sod. whoever says they are not has no idea what is going on. 

 

you can't listen to people in a village for many reasons, the first of which is they are apt to get more via borrowing the more you give. so there goes their opinion, throw it right out the window. 

 

in all seriousness, i would tell them you ran into financial difficulties, cut the amounts you discussed by 75% or more, and see how things play out. you will know exactly where everyone stands at that point. 

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On 7/25/2019 at 8:40 PM, Mikisteel said:

I don't believe a word of this and if you ever been in a crappy Thai village you will realise they all talk sh%t. Comparing Litrually anything they can think of like 9 year olds. Crappy issan villages not really a good example of Thailand at all IMO.

 

 

Interesting. Some people think an Issan Village is real Thailand and sneer at me for promoting Pattaya and Bangkok as being more authentic Thailand.

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On 7/26/2019 at 2:40 AM, Mikisteel said:

I don't believe a word of this and if you ever been in a crappy Thai village you will realise they all talk sh%t. Comparing Litrually anything they can think of like 9 year olds. Crappy issan villages not really a good example of Thailand at all IMO.

 

 

I wanted ice cream when I was nine years old. Forget the gold. I want 250,000 baht worth of ice cream!

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On 7/25/2019 at 11:40 PM, Solidpoo said:

NO, I'm not and I'm not trolling. Is the story that ridiculous ? i mean marriages on average are expensive everywhere.  

 

I wasn't aware its on the high side, from what I've gathered (through the web) the average is about 100kbaht to 500k baht. and i still got told (250k) was on the low end.

 

Also had to take in account she's the only uni graduate in her family, so they've invested a lot in her and likely have their hopes on her. I'm pretty much taking that away (she'll follow me back after our marriage). 

I do visit her every month or every few months.

 

No way in hell I'll ever work there. Honestly could write a whole book on why.

 

Wouldn't live there either. Hot, polluted, loud, inconvenient. And i honestly believe theres something off with the water there. They've got a high gay population.

 

yeh, should've seen the trolls coming.

Still, there are some really good advice/sharing. Thanks all for that !

 

There's still no answers for qns 2, anyone?

You are already giving too much!  My wife went to university and we had a sin sod of 100K next day it was given back. It was just for show. Gold we did buy some for her mom and dad, I dont recall what size. 

 

Why are you giving her so much money each month? My wife worked I didn't give her anything. She did send money home each month but only 2000-3000B. In the village Elec is typically 200-300B as they only run fans, lights, TV and a fridge. Water most will have a well, if not 100B max. .  Not much money is needed in a village. 

 

I hate to say it but I think they're taking you for a ride.  You need to stand up, tell her your work is slow so you need to stop monthly payments. When she gives you are hard time, tell her ok you can help but only 3K a month, if she needs more she needs to get a job, she has a degree.  She can always get a job at 7/11 to help. If she dont want to help you need to reevaluate your situation. 

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On 7/26/2019 at 7:13 AM, marcusarelus said:

When you get married it's your wife's money.  Any country the girls are raised to think this and act like they've been shot if this does not take place.  I have girl children and I never told them but they all feel this way.  They get the paycheck and give the guys an allowance.  

 

You need to be the boss.

 

That is what these girls are used to anyway.

 

If the relationship has gone this way for a long time its going to be more difficult.  But you need to just stand up and say look, I AM THE MAN.  I MAKE THE MONEY.  YOU DONT WORK.  I MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS FROM NOW ON.  DEAL WITH IT OR LEAVE.

 

This is how real Thai men handle women like this.  If she has any real feelings for you she'll stick around.  If she wants to simply control a free paycheck,  she'll get a new farang.  That simple.

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On 7/25/2019 at 8:48 PM, NCC1701A said:

his forum name is solidpoo. 🐮💩:clap2::cheesy:

I've not had one of them in all my time in Thailand

 

In fact I'm often wondered how they end up floating around the ocean here!

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1 hour ago, shy coconut said:

I've not had one of them in all my time in Thailand

 

In fact I'm often wondered how they end up floating around the ocean here!

Loy loy kratong

Loy loy kratong

Loy kratong an yai

It won't float if piled too high

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Omg brother walk run fly away your being taken for a ride and going get worst....i pay 10k a month and gave her 50k she started business and when marry only 20k for party no sin sod but if you love her and not care about being seen as an atm i wish you good luck .... 100k a month will never be enough 

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Posted (edited)

The only element of this formulaic drama that's missing is the 'brother'.

 

OP:

Has she introduced you to her 'brother' yet. Does he have a new motorcycle or car? Lots of gold jewelry?

 

Methinks you're in the poo pretty solid at this point.

Edited by RocketDog
Addition
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Sin sot can be presented publicly for reasons of face and then returned privately.  I am told that is what a good family does. Unless a girl is a virgin I am uncertain if sin sot is required.  i also heard its a relatively new idea linked to a Chinese dowry system. I also heard that in the old days in agricultural regions the son moved in with the family and thus provided labour.  I think sin sot is used to bilk naive farangs.

I am told by Thai people that returning the sinsot mainly happens when a farang is involved. In Thai to Thai weddings the money goes to the girl’s parents and the gold is kept by the bride.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
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On 7/28/2019 at 10:32 AM, justin case said:

what do you do to earn 100k baht ? tell us please, I want in 🙂 

 

He doesn't live in Thailand.

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Sinsod is old news, not practiced much in the general population of Thais, mainly for the wealthy when a rich old geiser wants a 22 year old stunner, or in your case you got sucked into a scam by her or the family, all I can say is you better make sure she wants you for who you are and not your money. Eventually you"ll be bled dry and thrown out ready for the next farang.

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On 7/28/2019 at 2:26 PM, soidog99 said:

If this is real you are a complete idiot and should not be coming to Thailand. Obviously you have not done any homework.  This is a very very old tradition and it wasn’t about showing money but having a marriage party where  everyone contributed food such as chicken, rice and pork and other types of food.  Because of people like you this stupid cycle just keeps going round and round. When will this end it’s happened so much it’s so boring. In the Western world the woman’s family is the one who supposed to pay for the wedding, wake the <deleted> up. 

Every time I read one of these stories........when I stop laughing, I tell myself.......SELF......you MUST write that book of Do’s n Dont’s for uninformed foreigners coming to Thailand for the first time.

 

the title:

 

Pin the Tail on the New BUFF-A-RO

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On 7/26/2019 at 2:06 AM, amykat said:

They are taking advantage of your low self esteem ...you are trying too hard to please them and not aware of what you have to offer.  Thais always like to use peer pressure to make you feel bad, they also like to make you feel bad for motivation for some reason.   Rather than thanking you.

 

They are negotiating and will keep asking for more as long as you keep saying yes.  Your final yes in your mind, means to them, that they did not ask for enough, because they did not hear NO yet.

 

I would start to complain and lower the amount each time your gf speaks about it.  Or say you must lower your monthly payment to her now to save for it.  Why does Mom need more gold, you just gave gold?  If she needs gold buy it out of the 20K you give each month ....<deleted>?  You should probably just dump these people, you are on a bad path that will only get worse!!  But if you insist on keeping them, better learn how to negotiate hard and get some backbone or they will eat you alive as they have started.

 

And why are you sending so much money to her?  That is what old men send to hookers who are on their payroll???  And that is a big payment!!!  You don’t need to do that ...why don’t you find a girl your age who can earn money and share life with you, not suck you down the tubes????

But.....my girl is different.......lolol

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