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BANGKOK 19 August 2019 18:54
Kgsaacmo

Hi! Long time reader & finally decided to introduce myself.

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2 minutes ago, balo said:

If he lives in the US why do you need to visit Thailand ? Gay marriage is not even legal in Thailand.  By law.

Meeting family, seems a genuine thing for couples to do, whether married or longer term commitment.

Happens in most relationships at some point

"gay" marriage is actually Marriage EQUALITY"

 

 

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12 hours ago, Kgsaacmo said:

We’re planning an upcoming visit to Thailand to introduce me to his family, and I’m scared as hell!  I’m not the most masculine guy and I’m afraid his family will think I’m not ‘man’ enough for him. 

His family is more likely to be "hung up on" the fact you are a Farang, than the fact the relationship is gay. Just be polite and smile often.

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7 hours ago, RJRS1301 said:

The heteronormativity expressed here seems to be more apparent than on many other forums.

When it gets too graphic about what might not be my fetish (and sometimes even then) I might avert my eyes to it; otherwise I'm okay with str8s expressing their sexuality. I'm not okay with their hypocrisy that they think they either get to express themselves but think we shouldn't, or that they'd not "correct" their hetero brethren who do it while they think they get to "teach" us "manners". They can take their manners, wad it up with their hypocrisy and shove it where the sun don't shine, which, in case anyone is worried, is not me being sexually expressive.

 

7 hours ago, RJRS1301 said:

Meeting family, seems a genuine thing for couples to do, whether married or longer term commitment.

Happens in most relationships at some point

"gay" marriage is actually Marriage EQUALITY"

100% correct

 

7 hours ago, timendres said:

His family is more likely to be "hung up on" the fact you are a Farang, than the fact the relationship is gay. Just be polite and smile often.

+

9 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

well does his family know he is gay? if they are over that hurdle I am sure it will be like all relationships in Thailand and be all about money. 

=

While NCC likely was not being purposely homophobic (as generally he strikes me as being a thoughtful, often funny guy) "hung up on" vs "over that hurdle" highlights the difference between acceptance of reality and the homophobia of hetero hegemony that permeates so much thinking.

 

Hung up on--be it applicable in this case or not--seems to place the burden more squarely on the parents & their perceptions. It speaks to what might be their hang ups regardless of whether or not justified.

 

But over that hurdle, while also speaking to the parents' perceptions, like gay marriage in misplace of marriage equality requires thinking that being gay is an other hurdle to get over which does not place squarely but rounds out the results which inadvertently at best or conveniently includes blaming a quality of a gay child for a parent having to have something to get over, you know, like a parent has to get over their child being hetero.

 

We're not asking for much, just some long overdue parenting equality to go along with our new found marriage equality.

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17 hours ago, thaicurious said:

 

Only heterosexuals are allowed to express their sexuality on ThaiVisa. For random example...

Gay people get admonished for being sexual beings expressing their sexuality while heteros get, what, smiley faces for expressing theirs"

 

Sounds suspiciously like homophobia to me

We've seen str8 folk flaunt their sexuality for years

I took a while to think about this and yep, in that sense, fair comment. I guess im homophobic. I did question the need to share about "being dominated and aroused" when asking a serious question about culture albeit not too seriously. I would not expect or appreciate the same comments from a straight thread either.

 

I dont particularly care for reading about anyones sex life, straight or gay. Same goes in conversation, I dont expect my wife's gay friends (and mine for that matter) to go on about their passionate moments or my straight friends either. We're generally far too busy slagging off the government 🙂 . Well, my wife doesnt, she loves Prayut. 

 

 

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3 hours ago, nikmar said:

I took a while to think about this and yep, in that sense, fair comment. I guess im homophobic. I did question the need to share about "being dominated and aroused" when asking a serious question about culture albeit not too seriously. I would not expect or appreciate the same comments from a straight thread either.

 

I dont particularly care for reading about anyones sex life, straight or gay. Same goes in conversation, I dont expect my wife's gay friends (and mine for that matter) to go on about their passionate moments or my straight friends either. We're generally far too busy slagging off the government 🙂 . Well, my wife doesnt, she loves Prayut. 

 

 

Good post. Thank you.


We know a racist not because a person has prejudiced thoughts towards others, but because instead of working to overcome such thoughts, they luxuriate in them; instead of seeking to understand from where their thoughts derive, they seek to export their destructive thinking to others; instead of keeping their thoughts mere thoughts, they act upon them: they create policy based upon prejudice. they inflict upon others for self gain, they institutionalize racism.

 

I never called you a homophobe. All I ask is that people be aware of the pervasiveness of homophobia in thinking and in speech and in how they approach a topic, particularly in a gay form. That we're allowed our humanity too. Now I understand what you say about shying away from talking openly about sexuality regardless of orientation, But what is the alternative were that absolute? Closets and hiding and whispers and dark places where prejudices fester. Certainly few need know all the details, certainly some situations are more appropriate than others. But what the OP said is not out of line given this gay forum and given his situation.

 

He's not simply referencing for no reason domination and arousal though certainly he's free to express how much he enjoys his partner and why. There was nothing unstandard in the gay world, for a gay forum, about what he said. But even for the str8 observer, here's what he's actually said...

 

He described how the domination aspect -- though naturally exciting and joyful for him and his partner (how nice for them that they found each other) -- is causing some conflict in his head with regard to meeting the parents because, he said (if I remember the op correctly), he wants them to think he's man enough for their son and he's expressing a correlation between "man enough" & "domination". Also he notes that he's not the most masculine of guys which he's also expressed conflict as to whether or not that reflects upon being man enough. So he made a perfectly reasonable query, offering adequate detail with which to get an appropriate response.

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