georgegeorgia Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 If your a older expat living in Thailand, how many real friends can you count ? Not talking about your partner Some people define a “ friend “ as someone they met on Facebook,or someone they speak to at a bar im talking a real friend as someone who would drop everything and visit you in hospital, bail you out of a police station etc . Even go as far as someone who has seen the bad side of you but doesnt judge you As you get older you tend to “ lose” communication with real friends i guess. Do any of you have “ real” thai friends even ? Or just farang ? or not anyone nowadays you would call a real friend ? I could probably count one “ real” friend but he is not in Thailand anymore , all the others are not really friends. I dont ask favours from people nor rely on people in life to do to things for me,some of you do and when that person wont do you a “ favour” you get peed off. I have done loads of favours for farangs but when ever you ask them to do something suddenly they’re busy, despite what you may have done for them in the past I had what I thought was a “ real” friend in thailand a few years ago, he owned a guest house and i used to use my 6 week stay to help him paint his rooms and maintenance etc Never asked anything from him until one day i lost my bank cards ( this is going back 14 years ) and i needed to call the bank, they use to have those useless internet cafes where it was hard to hear on the phone so i asked him if i could borrow some money until i could get by . He did nothing but harp on and stall over it where thru out the day i had t continially ask him pratically beg him to loan me some Emergency money, he had known me for years , eventually a guy that owned a cafe up at soi bukhao lent me Emergency money and he wasnt even what i would call a “ friend” As i get older i dont bother like some of you relying on others and depending on others to do u favours and if they dont you get angry because you thought they were a “ friend” and friends should be doing you favours etc but of course if they asked you for a favour you be peed off about it Would you call the bar owner you drink at regularly a friend , or the guys you meet up at the expats club every week real friends ? There s a guy in Pattaya who has a Facebook profile with hndreds of pics with different people, i said to him you have hundreds of friends, he said , “ and they would all scatter if i asked for a favour , none of them are real ????????♂️????????♂️ I guess you know who your real friends are when <deleted> hits the fan so to speak in your life, eg getting cancer or a major illness and the friends you thought you had turned their back or suddenly were busy when you asked for funds to help you . And then u can go opposite,where your “ friends” want to bludge money off you and take what they can get and get angry if you dare ask for the money back !!!???? Or you have to chase the “ friend” for the 5,000 baht you lent them. Nowadays especially in South East Asia I tend to “ guard” myself in trusting people and not let them in too close , and i am cautious with people asking me for favours to quick into a “ friendship” If i feel i have been done wrong by, eg ungrateful types or wouldnt <deleted> on me if i was on fire i dump them or avoid them,eg I had a friend last year who was unemployed in Australia going thru a bad divorce, stressed virtually on a nervous breakdown, no money etc so i paid, yes paid for him to meet me in Thailand including his hotel room , i thought it would would do him a world of good to get away on arrival he did nothing but complain about everything and i mean everything, took him to Soi buckhao and he didn’t like it, he ended up blaming me saying his holiday was boring and he went back 5 days earlier leaving me with his outstanding hotel bill ( he ended up buying his own flight back using his brothers CC) , never really got over that and felt like he wasnt a real friend at all the time i known him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seasia Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Yes, I have several real friends in various countries. They would and have helped out when I have been stuck with something. I have also helped others, expecting nothing in return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgdanson Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 too much to read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
looking for LIFE insurance Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 georgegeorgia You sound really , really bored. Get a hobby. If you are old and feeble there are 1,000 families currently locked up in immigration jail in need of diapers, clothes, food, just about everything else. Donate your time and visit. If you live in the countryside, I was going to say " teach English" to some children but you'd probably get arrested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgegeorgia Posted August 25, 2019 Author Share Posted August 25, 2019 7 minutes ago, wgdanson said: too much to read Your no friend ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puchaiyank Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 A friend is someone you can confide in and not have to worry about them betraying your trust. I have learned over time that there is no one that measures up...???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumak Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Not sure about friends. But pretty sure I have a few real enemies . Maybe I will get one of them to start a poll here to explore to what extent . Let's see , how about : How has the recent enforcement of the TM30 affected your feelings about Rumak ? a. go ahead, make my day b. you feeling lucky, punk c. you can't handle the truth d. i'd answer but he's on my ignore list e. send him to South America f. can't stand him ...... but his wife ain't bad g. sent to Soi 6 for being off topic ( I'll be bock....new user name) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumak Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 3 minutes ago, Puchaiyank said: A friend is someone you can confide in and not have to worry about them betraying your trust. I have learned over time that there is no one that measures up...???? + 1 when you hear those words " trust me" .........RUN BABY RUN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneMoreFarang Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 I have only real friends because I don't use "social media" to make (maybe not so real) friends. I think I have in Thailand at least three real friends who I think would help me out in an emergency. And maybe a few more who used to live in Thailand but now not anymore. But all this is theory. Would they help me if I am in jail and need to be bailed out? I guess, I hope, but obviously I don't know. I remember a long time ago when one of the guys in our company had a car accident and was in hospital. I visited him as soon as he was fit enough to receive visitors. And he told me I was the only one from our company and he would not have expected that I visit him but he would have expected that others do that... (That was before the time when everybody had a mobile phone). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneMoreFarang Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 5 minutes ago, rumak said: Not sure about friends. But pretty sure I have a few real enemies . Maybe I will get one of them to start a poll here to explore to what extent . Let's see , how about : How has the recent enforcement of the TM30 affected your feelings about Rumak ? a. go ahead, make my day b. you feeling lucky, punk c. you can't handle the truth d. i'd answer but he's on my ignore list e. send him to South America f. can't stand him ...... but his wife ain't bad g. sent to Soi 6 for being off topic ( I'll be bock....new user name) h) Who is this Rumak? ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madmen Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Rent a friend with benefits and buy a golden retriever. Perfect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumak Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 50 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said: h) Who is this Rumak? ???? I. who cares ? Similar to your friends experience, when I was ill my "friends" were conspicuous in their absence. What is that saying ? " a friend in need...... is a pain in the ass" hahahhaa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soalbundy Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 My dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneMoreFarang Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 13 minutes ago, soalbundy said: My dog But will he bail you out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChipButty Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 My best friend is my wife some years ago when I had a stroke that girl never left my side, none of your so called mates called or anything the only people to visit me where Thai friends and still remain friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwasaki Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 3 hours ago, georgegeorgia said: If your a older expat living in Thailand, how many real friends can you count ? None is good friends are a pain in the <deleted>. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sujo Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Zero. I like it that way. if im locked up or in hospital i would be embarrassed if someone had to bail me out or come visit. People have their own lives and problems without them having to do something for me. I do have a small group who i enjoy beers with a couple of nights a week but I honestly dont know much about their personal life. i dont like to get too close to people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anythingleft? Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 No...Sent from my SM-N950F using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 I am friendly with foreigners I see socially but they are not friends. My wife is my best friend but I count a couple of Thais as true friends. When I was younger I had more friends but most left Thailand or died and I have not felt the need to replace them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumak Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 9 minutes ago, villagefarang said: I am friendly with foreigners I see socially but they are not friends. My wife is my best friend but I count a couple of Thais as true friends. When I was younger I had more friends but most left Thailand or died and I have not felt the need to replace them. My GF is my best friend as well........ so we do have something in common. I see so many "couples" that are definitely NOT best of friends. I couldn't live like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madgee Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 TBH, I have only two real friends in this world + one loyal hound! One friend lives in the UK and I trust him and his wonderful family with no doubts whatsoever. Another trusted and valued friend lives in the same town as myself in Thailand. We have known each other for many years, in the UK, China and now both in Thailand. Yes, I have a few friends and even more acquaintances in our district but I would not call these real friends. From my many years travelling this world, rarely have I come across 'true' friendship. Hard to find and impossible to replace. If you consider a friend a 'true' friend then value the trust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said: But all this is theory. Would they help me if I am in jail and need to be bailed out? If they were real friends, they'd be sitting beside you in jail saying "Damn! We sure screwed up there". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveK Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 I would define a "friend" as someone that you know and trust and could rely on in a crisis. So that means in Thailand I have zero friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 No, because I'm a glumpy & intolerant bashtard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 I have always felt my problems are mine to deal with and I have never imposed upon my friends. I would not like to be a burden to the people I love and care about. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaRoadrunner Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 There are two kinds of people in this world. Those with no friends and those who have money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammieuk1 Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 All gone here now one way and another just one lone star in the UK and one in Turkey that would and have bailed me out ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCC1701A Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 5 hours ago, georgegeorgia said: If your a older expat living in Thailand, how many real friends can you count ? i have two friends in the USA who would come and get me if I needed help if I asked them to. two American friends in Hua Hin who I can text if I need some minor local assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 I have a large family in the UK who have always looked out for each other, I have a large family in Thailand who have always looked out for each other, so I have a good base to choose any 'friends' carefully I have two real friends of the moment in the UK, we keep an eye out for each other, eat together regularly and ensure we are not left to ponder things alone too long. After a recent cycling accident one friend insisted I get checked out and ferried me around, when they kept me in hospital for observation gave me some money to tide me over if I needed it. I paid it back when he picked me up the next day, and paid his meal next time we dined together. He will happily pick me up from the airport to save taxi fare, so yes I would say a good friend. I do not have high expectations of friends, I know the limits, for example if I am catching an early morning flight, I would make my own way to the airport not drag my friends out of bed in the middle of the night to act as a taxi!! As for me, can be friendly to anybody, for example work colleagues, until they give me reason not to be!!! but do strive to be self sufficient, apart from family and a couple of others mentioned above, no others I would anticipate walking towards me if in difficulty ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsensam Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 23 minutes ago, DaRoadrunner said: There are two kinds of people in this world. Those with no friends and those who have money. three kinds actually; those have money and friends, i.e. me; spending next month hiking with one - we spend 2-3 months hiking every year, going to amsterdam with another in late sept and he's coming out the bkk, again, in november - and going on my annual visit to another in january - i also see him whenever he's in bkk on business. i also have other less close friends, male and female, who i see regularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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