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Do you have any “ real” friends nowadays?


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I have had loads of friends or maybe I should say aquaintances in the 14 years I have lived in Thailand, but only three real friends, two are dead, and my only real friend left stays about 130 Ks from me, so I do not see him as often as I would like, but we are in touch all the time through PMs, emails, and phone calls.

 

There are no Farangs living in my small town/ village anymore, where there were a few when I first came here.

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16 hours ago, villagefarang said:

I have always felt my problems are mine to deal with and I have never imposed upon my friends.  I would not like to be a burden to the people I love and care about.  Neither a borrower nor a lender be. 

I feel the same.  If the definition of a "real friend" is someone who will help you in desperate emergencies, I'm afraid I may never know because I can't imagine a scenario where I would have to impose that severely on my friends.  But I do have friends that I spend time with on a regular basis.  Whether they're "real friends"....who knows.   

 

As for your last sentence, I'd say a true friend is not necessarily someone who'll lend you money in desperate times.  I'd argue that a true friend is someone who'll still be your friend even if you don't cough up the money.   

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3 hours ago, timkeen08 said:

I learned early in life that having friends or best friends is just an illusion to fulfill something missing in ones own self. My only real true friends are my first American wife of 36 years that passed away and my current Thai wife.  But I do have many close acquaintances and I have had many coworkers that I have enjoyed life with.  But I have never let anyone get close enough to be called a friend.  I told myself at 19 that I would never again let anyone else have that trust and it has been that way since.  I will never put myself in the path of dyre consequences again because of the illusion that a person is a friend that can be trusted. I've had a way happier life with this attitude.  Good luck to anyone who thinks they really have or needs one.  Many people cannot tell the difference between a friend or an acquaintance and thinks or needs to think that they have many friends.  A friend is only a friend if the trust you give them is resiprocated.

Very true ...thankyou

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42 minutes ago, Road Warrior said:

i had a so called friend name graham for 14 yrs ,lent   him some  money reminded him 5 weeks latter ,FELL OUT WITH ME "THERE /"THEN" .YES PAD MONEY BACK POSTED TH'O MY HOUSE DOOR

.YES A REAL FRIEND INDEED 

A lot of “ friends “ fall out that way...thats if ye was your “ real” friend in that 14 years or just using you 

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I have three friends here, but only one real friend who I would do anything for, and he the same. He has recently bought a condo in Sathorn and we're currently sorting the interior out. The architect tried to offer me and the wife a 'finders fee' to which we flatly refused and asked him to reduce the price of the works accordingly. I'm not going to make money off my friend.

 

One problem here is that so many people want to be my friend and I don't really have time for them. I'm not saying they are bad people, but I don't want to create an expectation and ultimately let them down. That being the case I may appear a bit cold sometimes as I try not to let them get their hopes up.

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5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Robin found out his wife is not his friend (3 times).

Sadly as it is robin chose the wrong women..

 

..although to be fair to robin it’s probably a lot more difficult when your as rich and famous as he was.

 

i liked him

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3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

All women are the wrong woman, if you both live long enough.

I think we will have to agree to disageee there britman although I admit it’s a minefield to find the right one. 

 

My wife has stood by me though many crisis where others were no where to be found.

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22 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I have done loads of favours for farangs but when ever you  ask them to do something suddenly they’re busy

I'd say the same  about the Thais Ive helped here.........answer always comes back 8/10  times "busy" but I do have 1-2 Thais who would  help with anything at any time.

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3 hours ago, elgenon said:

Yikes! I am looking for intelligent intelligent friends who have as sense of humor. 

I used to work on a ranch, quite good around horses. Boss said I was a stable genius...

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Did he expire alone and miserable?

Quite the opposite he was a womanizer ,lived with a rich woman who he would not leave,and had a lady friend ,died at 85,one of the happiest men i knew always laughing.

Mind you talking about friends ,a long time ago ,lost all my money when a business partner screwed us,my ex at the time gave me the money to get back on my feet, paid her back in 3 months.

So yes even my exs are "friendly" was a bit like my dad untill i met my now wife ,never looked at amother woman since i met her,

 

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

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7 hours ago, Kenchamp said:

But not too much bother for you to try and belittle someone else with your stupid comment.

belittle.....stupid comment? I was merely stating my opinion. thanks for your reply to me

Will you be replying to the 16 other members who agreed with me?

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5 hours ago, Berkshire said:

I feel the same.  If the definition of a "real friend" is someone who will help you in desperate emergencies, I'm afraid I may never know because I can't imagine a scenario where I would have to impose that severely on my friends.  But I do have friends that I spend time with on a regular basis.  Whether they're "real friends"....who knows.   

 

As for your last sentence, I'd say a true friend is not necessarily someone who'll lend you money in desperate times.  I'd argue that a true friend is someone who'll still be your friend even if you don't cough up the money.   

A true friend, would not see a person in difficulty if he had the means to fix it, a fair weather friend would refuse to loan money on 'principle'. I have friends who would not enjoy lending money to another, to do so would go against the grain, but if a good valued friend, without causing the lender any hardship, they would do it.

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