Buddha village weddings

[wwest5829]

It gives your girl, "Face" with family and her village (oe extended family) in being seen in a recognized relationship. No reason to withhold this as it does not involve legal entanglements. Going to register the relationship at the Amphur Office? Let me suggest registering the prenup at the same time so that everyone understands exactly the legal ramifications. One rule I have lived by is that what I bring to Thailand stays in Thailand, that said my funds reinvented in the US and will go directly to my Sons when I croak. Separate Wills here and in the US.

[DrPhibes]

11 hours ago, Damrongsak said:

I guess I had an informal wedding in addition to doing the official thing at the Amphur.  No monks, other than feeding some passing monks at 0 dark 30 in the morning.  Then there were odd things throughout the day, like putting a bowl of fruit and flowers by an ancestor's picture on the wall.  I kept asking if we we were married yet.  We finally fed and boozed about 100 people and they dropped us off at my house later in the evening.  They hooted and hollered and left, thank God. Maybe a $500 USD wedding with food and booze to spare.  Stuff was cheap 41 years ago.

Yup, my experience also about 18 yrs ago.  About $500 for everything (except sinsot).  Crazy night and day.  The night before, all the guys about 4 sheets to the wind, I was taken out with a large hoe to kill the cow we bought (part of the $500) for the feast the next day. They were convincing me that I needed to hit the cow from in front to hit the spinal cord just behind the head.  Being a hunter in my youth, it was not the dispatching of the animal as much as the method.  Another 1/2 bottle of Mekong for each of us and I was ready.  As I worked up the animal in me to do the deed raising the hoe to crash down with all my might, I was taken down by 4 guys who were laughing and me very confused and amped up!  It was all a joke to see if I would do it.  Even more interesting was how they did in the cow.  They fashioned a long sharp bamboo spear and went in the chest from the front to sever one of the major heart arteries and comforted the cow as it bled out.  Very humane. 

 

The guys philosophy was that no man should marry unless drunk and hung over or else he would not do it.  I took their advice, and am happier than <deleted>.

[Chelseafan]

12 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

My condolences.

 

So, chelseafan, are you registering this?

 

In all seriousness, I wish you all of the absolute best.  At least she told you about her prior marriage.  This is a common theme with these girls.  A marriage with a Thai man doesnt go well so they lose face.  Maybe more than once.  And then they turn to the farang, often with more money anyway.

 

They're not all bad girls.  Sometimes it really was the Thai guy's fault.  But ehh... The chances.  But they can learn from their past mistakes too.  Everyone is capable of learning, I think

I think I'm lucky in that I've found a gem but time will tell. We've been together for over 5 years so know each other very well.

 

In all honesty I think she would be fine with a less costly village wedding but I want the best for her and am in a fortunate situation financially that the cost isn't going to dent my future savings too much.

 

It could all end up pear-shaped, who knows? but I've seen many friends in the UK who were very much in love, had a lavish wedding then divorced a couple of years later. Sometimes you have to take a chance, besides she's no spring chicken and neither am I.

 

I've been coming to Thailand for over 20 years and have a good understanding of the culture including the pitfalls and I do appreciate that the buffalo comes above me in the pecking order ????

 

[SenorJorge]

Just don't register it.  You're right, time will tell.  Treat her right and expect the same in return.  Good luck bro

[Odin Norway]

20 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

I think the vast majority of Thais are actually living in unregistered marriages of some kind.  Ive read that in more than one place.  It makes it even more difficult to find out if your wife has ever been "married".  And even more easily for them to lie about it.  "See me tell you.  Amphur say I never marry"

So how are you grading a marrige where you come from then? No need to hand in any papers or anything.We are married and that is that.What is all the paper talk about. Seriously.......

[SenorJorge]

24 minutes ago, Odin Norway said:

So how are you grading a marrige where you come from then? No need to hand in any papers or anything.We are married and that is that.What is all the paper talk about. Seriously.......

The main purpose of registering marriages is to protect women and children from abuse I think.

 

There are huge benefits to men especially by not registering them though.

[Odin Norway]

12 minutes ago, SenorJorge said:

The main purpose of registering marriages is to protect women and children from abuse I think.

 

There are huge benefits to men especially by not registering them though.

Excatly that.Lucky me I never married.So she could have exactly what she came with to the table.So if she dont tell you that she have been married before,she is most likely lying.

[Gilltom]

18 hours ago, Chelseafan said:

Hell yes. I'm on course for £14k all in including sinsot, rings, venue. Two of the biggest costs of the day are the videographer and flowers.

How much ????????

[todlad]

19 hours ago, 55Jay said:

Bro!  Throttle back!  That's like 5,000 Baht for the Fo-tog guy.  Seriously.  Stop!

jeez ... my daughter got married in Cambridge, UK, with scads of guests, big hotel venue... nowhere near what you are paying.

 

For reference, I refused the village wedding on the ground that it would be a load of (my) cash spent for the benefit of someone else. We got married properly in Bangkok while staying at my favourite hotel. We had no guests at the wedding, no party, no hangers on. Perfect. Still together all these years later.

 

I fully appreciate it is each to his own so good luck to everyone who lives a bit of glitz.

[Chelseafan]

2 hours ago, todlad said:

jeez ... my daughter got married in Cambridge, UK, with scads of guests, big hotel venue... nowhere near what you are paying.

 

For reference, I refused the village wedding on the ground that it would be a load of (my) cash spent for the benefit of someone else. We got married properly in Bangkok while staying at my favourite hotel. We had no guests at the wedding, no party, no hangers on. Perfect. Still together all these years later.

 

I fully appreciate it is each to his own so good luck to everyone who lives a bit of glitz.

You can make make weddings as small or as grandiose as you want but bear in mind the average cost of a wedding in 2018 in the UK equated to around £32k so £14k is not such a bad price. I have factored in 200,000 baht of sinsot so a third of the cost is going on that, something that I'm sure your daughter and son-in-law didn't pay. ????

 

This is the current breakdown

 

 

Bride / Groom Dress hire : 14,500 though this does include hair and makeup.

Invitations : 2,000 (80 invites)

Pre-Wedding Photos : 6,900

Flowers / Photographer and video for the day : 77,000

Wedding Venue : 90,000 (no booze, that will be the night before but includes catering)

Monks : 4500 (500 * 9 Monks)

Sinsot : 1,000,000 (Only for show. Actual sinsot will be 200,000, the balance will be used to pay for the wedding)

Rings : 2 x 20,000 (1 baht each)

Souvenirs : 10,000

 

Total cost 444k baht

 

I've also factored in £2000 as miscellaneous.

 

Some of these could of been a lot cheaper but we did our homework on who we wanted and as it's a once in a life time event (I hope) we wanted to do it right.

 

 

 

[SenorJorge]

The very fact that these girls ask for sinsod after they've been married before in village weddings shows what a deep scam foreigner+thai relationships usually are. Imagine how the Thais are all grinning and laughing at the stupid Briton laying all the money out on the plate when it was just done two or three years ago. Thais NEVER pay sinsod for divorcees, women's with kids, prostitutes, girls regarded as "loose women" in the community.  But I see farang paying big sinsod for these girls.  They tried to get me on this and eventually I put my foot down and said no, I can't afford it anyway.  And few of us really can the way they're making us hold so much in the bank.  Anyway, if you do get married in thailand, my advice is not to register the damned thing.

[CharlieH]

32 minutes ago, SenorJorge said:

The very fact that these girls ask for sinsod after they've been married before in village weddings shows what a deep scam foreigner+thai relationships usually are. Imagine how the Thais are all grinning and laughing at the stupid Briton laying all the money out on the plate when it was just done two or three years ago. Thais NEVER pay sinsod for divorcees, women's with kids, prostitutes, girls regarded as "loose women" in the community.  But I see farang paying big sinsod for these girls.  They tried to get me on this and eventually I put my foot down and said no, I can't afford it anyway.  And few of us really can the way they're making us hold so much in the bank.  Anyway, if you do get married in thailand, my advice is not to register the damned thing.

I have witnessed  some of the things you claim "NEVER" happen. They do ! and as with most relationships, its up to the two involved. Its very easy to sit in judgement and neither fair nor realistic to do so.

Its their choice and their decision how they wish to celebrate their day.

 

Personally I didnt, and wouldnt, but that was my choice and decision.

[SenorJorge]

20 hours ago, CharlieH said:

I have witnessed  some of the things you claim "NEVER" happen. They do ! and as with most relationships, its up to the two involved. Its very easy to sit in judgement and neither fair nor realistic to do so.

Its their choice and their decision how they wish to celebrate their day.

 

Personally I didnt, and wouldnt, but that was my choice and decision.

 

That's a few and not the cultural norm.

 

I am going to judge a bar girl who lies about her past as a bar girl, tells a man she's never been married, has three kids with two previous unregistered husbands with a grandmother she hasn't talked to in three years, and then goes and asks a farang for sinsod.  You know exactly what kind of hustler I am talking about.  And yes that is a real example

[khunPer]

21 hours ago, CharlieH said:

I have witnessed  some of the things you claim "NEVER" happen. They do ! and as with most relationships, its up to the two involved. Its very easy to sit in judgement and neither fair nor realistic to do so.

Its their choice and their decision how they wish to celebrate their day.

So has I...????

[thaibeachlovers]

On 9/12/2019 at 8:37 AM, Chelseafan said:

Hell yes. I'm on course for £14k all in including sinsot, rings, venue. Two of the biggest costs of the day are the videographer and flowers.

You do know that you don't have to pay sin sod, rings, venue, photographer or flowers, don't you?

You can just pay for a big <deleted> up at her parent's place. If you do give sin sod make sure you get it back after and just for show.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 9/13/2019 at 6:43 AM, Chelseafan said:

You can make make weddings as small or as grandiose as you want but bear in mind the average cost of a wedding in 2018 in the UK equated to around £32k so £14k is not such a bad price. I have factored in 200,000 baht of sinsot so a third of the cost is going on that, something that I'm sure your daughter and son-in-law didn't pay. ????

 

This is the current breakdown

 

 

Bride / Groom Dress hire : 14,500 though this does include hair and makeup.

Invitations : 2,000 (80 invites)

Pre-Wedding Photos : 6,900

Flowers / Photographer and video for the day : 77,000

Wedding Venue : 90,000 (no booze, that will be the night before but includes catering)

Monks : 4500 (500 * 9 Monks)

Sinsot : 1,000,000 (Only for show. Actual sinsot will be 200,000, the balance will be used to pay for the wedding)

Rings : 2 x 20,000 (1 baht each)

Souvenirs : 10,000

 

Total cost 444k baht

 

I've also factored in £2000 as miscellaneous.

 

Some of these could of been a lot cheaper but we did our homework on who we wanted and as it's a once in a life time event (I hope) we wanted to do it right.

 

 

 

Sounds a lot of expense for something that is going to fail 50% of the time.

 

[Moonlover]

On 9/12/2019 at 1:31 AM, kenk24 said:

We had a village wedding - I don't think it has made any difference... I understood that it was for the family and that she could hold her head up and be considered a married woman... no Buddha or monks involved. 

 

Of course, you can't know what another road might have been like but we were both comfortable with the family party route. 

We also had a 'none Buddhist' village wedding one year before we officially 'tied the knot'. I think the one big difference that it made to was my standing within the family and the community at large, in a way that a legal ceremony would not have done.

 

I was, and still am accepted as 'family' so much so that I have been invited on two occasions to present the monks gifts of new robes at funerals. Which I felt was quite an honour for a none Buddhist farang.

[Chelseafan]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Sounds a lot of expense for something that is going to fail 50% of the time.

 

Yes but I hope that I am in the other 50% ????

 

[SenorJorge]

13 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You do know that you don't have to pay sin sod, rings, venue, photographer or flowers, don't you?

You can just pay for a big <deleted> up at her parent's place. If you do give sin sod make sure you get it back after and just for show.

[Chelseafan]

On 9/14/2019 at 4:20 PM, SenorJorge said:

The very fact that these girls ask for sinsod after they've been married before in village weddings shows what a deep scam foreigner+thai relationships usually are. Imagine how the Thais are all grinning and laughing at the stupid Briton laying all the money out on the plate when it was just done two or three years ago. Thais NEVER pay sinsod for divorcees, women's with kids, prostitutes, girls regarded as "loose women" in the community.  But I see farang paying big sinsod for these girls.  They tried to get me on this and eventually I put my foot down and said no, I can't afford it anyway.  And few of us really can the way they're making us hold so much in the bank.  Anyway, if you do get married in thailand, my advice is not to register the damned thing.

She didn't ask for Sinsod. It was voluntary on my part.

I might decide not to register the wedding though..food for thought.

 

 

[Chelseafan]

On 10/4/2019 at 5:13 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

You do know that you don't have to pay sin sod, rings, venue, photographer or flowers, don't you?

You can just pay for a big <deleted> up at her parent's place. If you do give sin sod make sure you get it back after and just for show.

Absolutely and in fairness I think she wouldn't object to that but there is a little face she has to show and I figured, if we're going to do this then lets do this big. Financially I'm in a very very fortunate position so this isn't going to hurt the coffers to much.

 

[SenorJorge]

2 hours ago, Chelseafan said:

She didn't ask for Sinsod. It was voluntary on my part.

I might decide not to register the wedding though..food for thought.

 

 

You would only be doing what most thai men do anyway.  No cultural traditions really lost.