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notrub

Formal gifts to Thai parents on marriage to daughter

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My GF and I will be getting married this year.  I have already built a house and pool etc. etc., her a new car and all the rest.  I have an usufruct on the 3 rai of land that I paid for and built our house on.  I am 71 she is 55 (grown son) and divorced many years ago (I have seen the confirmation papers).  My 2 children are adults and have been provided for.

 

We have been together for about 5 years, get along, she has a nice (poor) farming family and well thought of in the village.  I am recently divorced and have the paperwork on the way.  I am OK for money for my visa etc. but I also have a small UK pension payable to my wife on my death.  My GF will get this if we are married, otherwise it just stops on my death.  The visa issues will be easier too I suppose.  I have spent about 3 or 4 million on the house and land which she will get on my death, of course.

 

What are the formalities about giving the parents money and handing over some gold?  I told my GF that she can have some gold or I will build her family (mum, dad, sister&husband, nieces etc,) a new house that will cost about 1.5M THB.  But not both.  

 

I hear about farang giving 2 to 300,000 THB and/or a lump of gold to the family on top of paying for the celebration.  This seems to be a point of honour.

 

On the gold subject, where is the best place to buy rings and other similar, small, items?

 

I have gone along with the blessings for house building and other 'donations' but this marriage payment is not clear to me.  What is the skinny on that?  We are in a rural village in Isaan, Buriram province.

 

What other obligations might be lurking around the corner?  I am not a wealthy guy, but we have enough for a good, modest life.  I am not keen on providing whiskey and food for a thousand people, however.  I don't even drink anymore!

 

Any thoughts and comments will be welcome, Thank you.

 

 

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not rub - as stated above there is no set rules.

 

When we got married 25 years ago I gave my wife a months salary in cash and told her that was it. Worked well for me, two ceremonies Thai Buddhist with chanting Monks in AM western reception at hotel with music and thai traditional dancers in PM. 

 

Big show of the gold and money donated to the father, used to pay for the reception.

 

Up to you, but, I would approach it by setting a "limit". What can you comfortably afford? then adjust down a bit.

 

 

 

Edited by The Man Who Sold the World
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but her folks would still have the SinSot from her first time around!

 

 - be interesting to bring that up... to see their reaction to being found out!

 

 

and become an enemy of the estate, for the sake of keeping them honest

 

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1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I gave up after the first paragraph.

You paid already too much!

You forgot the good luck. You know he need it.

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Have you actually discussed the matter with your future wife and if you have, what are her and her parents' expectations ?

 

If you give gold, it is very likely to be sold or pawned as soon as cash is needed.

 

Do they actually want a new house ?

 

As for the spouse's pension, you are very likely to have to marry officially at the amphur for your wife to be a beneficiary, with a trip or two to Bangkok to get the correct paperwork.

 

My pension scheme required sight of the wedding certificate and my wife's birth certificate, along with certified translations of them both.

 

They would only actually be needed as proof of our marriage on my demise, but we have done it in advance to save any issues with sending documents 6000 miles.

 

For the "village" wedding, showing a gift of gold and cash is traditional and will make your in-laws happy.

 

When I did that, we put a considerable sum on the table, however it was already agreed it was just for show and was returned to my wife's bank the same day.

 

Mother-in-law was happy without the amount of "face" gained that day.

 

 

 

 

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Get a membership card at Aurora Gold Shops all over Thailand, they give you points , discounts, good price on trading up

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