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Sin Sod - who here got married without paying and what makes it not apply?

Did you pay sin sod when marrying?  

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14 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

My wife is a school teacher by trade - excellent education, owns far more land than I do, etc - I paid ZERO sinsod. She has two daughters - now living with Gran - from a pathetic Thai man she married in name only.

 

If the girl has been married before AND/OR has kids then I would suggest zero sinsod as the right price. If you met her in a bar, I would also not pay sinsod - she's is a hooker after all !!!  I think many Thai parents accept the fact they will get zero sinsod in these instances, but do not want to be insulted, she is their daughter remember.

 

My advice if she has kids and/or divorced, sit down with parents and be honest and say you will not pay a sinsod due to her previous circumstances, BUT, are happy to help out the family in other daily matters in their lives within reason (don't go over the top). 

 

If your woman is from a bar, divorced with kids AND wants a sinsod, then you are just a cash cow. Walk away

 

 

 

Absolute nonsense meeting a girl in a bar and she's automatically a hooker. Where do you think maybe 75% of all people in the western world meet their partner? A bar, club or pub would be my guess. And Thailand would be no different in the big cities.

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14 hours ago, Matzzon said:

No, it hasn´t. That bacause in real Thai tradition this money is just for show and shall after the marriage and the show be returned to the married couple for a good start in their marriage.

You see, I knew that too. Is there something more you wish to inform me about today, sunnyboy2018?

In real Thai tradition the money is given....and NOT returned. In contemporary Thai it may be returned.

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My wife is from the south, were sinsot is not a big dearl.  Her first husband only paid a nominal sinsot (8000฿).  By the time we married both of her parents were already dead so I only paid for the wedding. (Actually, my father paid for the wedding and since it was a village wedding, it only cost about 50,000฿)

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Yes, I paid Sin-Sod, it was all returned after the Wedding. 

Additionally, I agreed to the Custom on the condition that the amount was not to be disclosed because I found it somewhat crass to discuss money on such an occasion. 

 

FIL gave us some land in Bangkok (outskirts) & We received all the 'envelope money' which pretty much covered all the costs of the Wedding at a hotel in Bangkok.

 

The Question of the Op is rather simplistic: It needs a further option: Paid Sin-sod to comply with tradition / culture, then inlaws returned the money. 

Most my my Friends paid Sin-Sod, only a couple of them did not receive it back.

 

 

 

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27 minutes ago, emptypockets said:

In real Thai tradition the money is given....and NOT returned. In contemporary Thai it may be returned.

Maybe in your real tradition. That has totally to do with what kind of girl you marry. The only time it´s tradition that the dowry are not given back to the couple is following:

* When you marry a bar girl (Or someone that fallen from grace in similar ways. That due to the dowry is seen as restoring face and the family name.

* When marry a poor family out in the farm lands or similar. That due to the family takes the money and you do not see any of it no more.

 

Probably that´s tradition for you and likewise your fishing holes for a future wife. I was giving the rules from the middle class with a fairly good education and up.

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1 hour ago, CharlieH said:

That's the first mistake, you don't negotiate ever ! You stipulate what's going to happen.

You need to factor in a little face for them, it's what their entire culture is based around.

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Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

The issue with tradition and culture in a country such as Thailand is that is origins vary with the geography and socio-economic status of those imparting their knowledge. 

 

What one person tells you is completely different from the information you will receive from another - they will both be right, of course, 'same same but nid-noy different'

 

This is how many debates start between us Foreigners on forums such as this - the information with which we have been provided varies from source to source and we sometimes take it on faith that the person providing us with such information knows exactly what they are talking about, that they are not guessing or making something up to suit their idea of events / history / tradition / culture....

 

 

Ok, nevermind then. So, that my information comes from my wifes soon 86 year old grandmother, told in thai, has nothing to do with it then.

But, of course. Feel free to take your information from the next barstool in Pattaya, where the drunk foreigner sitting bragging about his last marriage with a very experienced bargirl and that he payed 1 million in dowry. 🤣🤣

Edited by Matzzon

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16 hours ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

A dowry system, right or wrong has NOTHING to do with cattle or buying people. Traditionally its viewed as security for the wife against death or seperation of the husband. 

So why does it not apply when the woman is not a virgin?

Wills exist to take care of the wife in the event of the husband's death. No need for an historical tradition which is used to fleece gullible farangs buying wives that have children, are divorced, or were prostitutes.

 

I didn't buy my wife, though I did give 50,000 baht which I got back.

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2 hours ago, emptypockets said:

Absolute nonsense meeting a girl in a bar and she's automatically a hooker. Where do you think maybe 75% of all people in the western world meet their partner? A bar, club or pub would be my guess. And Thailand would be no different in the big cities.

Good Thai girls don't go to bars where lots of farangs go as assumed to be a hooker. They have Thai clubs to go to where farangs don't go.

Thailand isn't the western world, if one hasn't noticed.

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16 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Didnt pay anything and didnt have a "village wedding" either.

Just the correct legal procedure at the Amphur.

 

 

Same here

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