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Thai Toilet Etiquette


Jet Gorgon

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For those who cant squat.....sit on the bloody thing with your legs straight out in front of you......give the toilet a wash first....you are gonna get a wet ar$e no matter what....it is quite easy to use the spray or bowl doing this.....I dont have a squat problem but sometimes if a bit too Pizzled....I find it works well.

For flushing....throw the water or aim the spray to the side of the bowl.....this creates a swirling motion which disposes of the body matter quicker. Always wash the whole commode after....respect the next user.

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First time I encountered a squatter was in the public (staff ?) washroom of a hotel. I was trying to get back to my room (7th floor) :D in a hurry. Asked the desk clerk if there was a nearby toilet and she pointed down the hall from the elevators.

Had the pants ready to drop before I even got the cubicle door open, only to be greeted by this little porcelain thing on the floor. <deleted> I says to myself, did the toilet sink into the floor ?

No time to contemplate any further. I saw the marks for the feet, but I just couldn't balance, especially with my denims around my ankles. Desperate times call for desperate measures. The raised edges looked pretty clean, a step forward and "plunk", sat right on the bloody thing. Fortunately they did have paper in the dispenser.

My first train trip in Thailand was also a bit of an experience. A squatter in a train that's rocking along, with a sign on the wall "Please don't make dirty in station" (as the toilet emptied directly onto the train tracks) :D

I learned the hard way to always carry TP or tissues with me, especially when travelling outside the city. My latest "soon-to-be-ex" (Petchabun bred and raised) also carries a supply with her.

In the M.E. people also do the squat/left hand routine. It is (in many places) considered impolite to offer anything to another person using your left hand (for obvious reasons).

I don't know, but I can't see how dribbling some water on my fingers and rubbing them together is going to clean them that well. The "bum gun" ? Well, the ones I have would work much better at putting out fires. I can barely use them when cleaning the hong nam, for fear of damaging the fixtures !

Squatting on Sitters. We've been having a lot of problems with that here lately. The company that has the contract to supply and service the portable toilets, as well as cleaning the ablution (fixed) washrooms, put up signs similar to what have been posted elsewhere in this thread (no squatting on the sitters basically). In addition to the broken seats, some people tend to squat a little too far to the rear, and refuse to clean up their mistake afterwards. :D

I would like to point out though, that if squatters are so great, why are they becoming a disappearing breed, and sitters becoming more common everywhere ? :D

Surely it should be the other way around ? :o

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First exprience with squatters was just after moving to Thailand. At the time was suffering from a digestive disorder. It struck during a shopping trip at a local mall.

rushed into the loo looking for a conventional western toilet, and of course none were to be found. so had no choice but to use a squatter. Cleaning lady smiled at me as I rushed around.

After all this I bravely squatted down, and not used to THAT type of aiming, I MISSED!!! Got cleaned up and casually exited.

On the way out heard the poor cleaning lady exclaim, OY SHIT!!!

Needless to say I havn't been back here too often.

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<br />
the toilet thing is just something we have to accept
<br /><br />we don't have to accept squat toilets if we don't like them. i for example have never used one and i'd rather sh*t in the open than using one.<br />
<br /><br /><br />

Got to agree Im afraid Thai toilets are the pits!!!!! To me they always look filthy, probably full of mossies waiting to feed too, the grouting in the tiles looks vile, I steer clear would rather fill my pants than let loose in one.

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To consider oneself to be old or young, former U.S. Prez- Jimmy Carter said it best...

"You 're old when REGRETS take place DREAMS".

Couldn't agree more.

.............................................

Dear Mods,

This replied should be in the topic "Getting Old".

Some how it ends up here, so strange. :D

Could Mods do something ? :o

Edited by Tinkelbell
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Not to forget: Chinese have invented toilets (and the first one was squatter), and doctors actually say that squatters are much healthier than seaters: in seaters the containts jump back on you because of the water inside, and everybody squats on them anyway...

And the toilet seat was invented in 1487 by the Irish. And in 1488 the Brits invented the hole in it. :o

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The following was posted by ExpatsClub on Fri 2003-08-08, 11:44:42

If you only hang around in Bangkok, you can always find great Farang toilets in the hotels, some fairly good ones at Central and other Department stores. But if you intend to go upcountry, or visit gas stations, small restaurants, etc. around in town for your potty visit, you're in trouble, because they all use the "holes"

So here is the first instruction manual for potty training male adult farangs in Thailand:

1. Open the door to the toilet. Walk in.

2. Close the door to the toilet...if possible

3. Survey the water situation...is there any water at all

4. Look for the nail to hang your trousers on

5. No nail...you're in trouble...be innovative

6. Take of your trousers & shoes, underwear, be careful, there may be "waste water" on the floor, don't let your trousers / feet touch the floor.

7. Hang your trousers on the nail. Check the "hanging" situation. If not proper hanged...they may fall down during your intimate relationship with the hole. So check

8. If no nail, hang your trouser around your neck. Be careful of loose coins, wallets, etc., they may fall out.

9. Take of your socks, put your socks in your trouser's right pocket. Stuff your underwear there too.

10. Put on your shoes again, you don't want your bare feet on the floor.

10A. Do your stuff.

11. After finishing your stuff...take your tissue paper from the left pocket in your trousers... WHAT... I can't hear you!... Oh. YOU didn't bring any tissue paper. Oh my Gawd..

12. No tissue - scoop water in the small bowl, try to splash on your backside (you know where) at the same time while using a hand to rub away any "leftovers" - try not to think about it, pretend it is actually Jennifer Lopez doing it for you (if you're gay, Elton John will do).

13. But if you are the smart guy I think you may be, you have brought sheets of tissue with you in your right pocket, so after finishing your stuff, splash water ON THE TISSUE, and wipe your a.. (sorry, I meant your... you know what I mean). Do this 2 or three times and finish of with tissue, without any water. You'll be clean as a newborn baby.

14. Stand up from your sitting position...that's already a marvelous feat, especially after a "bad day" - sitting with your knees bended for an extended period of time is not so easy for us farang. And it is even more difficult to stand up after.

15. Put on your underwear and trousers.  Don't let the trousers touch the floor. Maybe roll them up to the knee before you put them on, it makes it easier to put them on without getting wet (after all, you have already spilled so much water on the floor during your rinsing process, that NOW the floor is wet for sure.

16. Open the door

17. Put on your socks when you're outside

18. Start whistling - you made it - you have passed the test, are now a Thailand "old hand"

19. Go pick up your Certificate of Achievement from the Ministry of Thai Culture. Talk to Khun Uraiwan.. she doesn't know me, but she will when you go there and tell about my FREE Expats Potty Training Manual.

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Or you could just do what the Thais do: pull your trousers down a bit, squat, pinch a loaf, wash up, pull up yer trousers up and go. Really, it's launching rockets, not rocket science. A simple task succesfully completed by nearly the entire population of Thailand daily, sometimes more.

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My elderly auntie prefers the Thai-style toilets to the farang-style, choosing the Thai one every time if there's a choice between the two. She says they are cleaner than the farang ones which people put their naked buttocks on! (ewww...) Each to their own :o

Edited by siamesekitty
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13. But if you are the smart guy I think you may be, you have brought sheets of tissue with you in your right pocket, so after finishing your stuff, splash water ON THE TISSUE, and wipe your a.. (sorry, I meant your... you know what I mean). Do this 2 or three times and finish of with tissue, without any water. You'll be clean as a newborn baby.

But what do you then do with the soiled tissue? Flush it down the hole?

Personally I favour the hand cleaning method although the lack of soap to properly wash up afterwards is sometimes a problem.

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Now I know why Thais don't shake hands.

Would you like to shake hands with someone who has just had a s//t, there being no soap to wash hands after. Then of course it's fingers up the nose to drag out a few gilberts.

Next time you buy food from the street stalls, it's worth remembering. :o

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13. But if you are the smart guy I think you may be, you have brought sheets of tissue with you in your right pocket, so after finishing your stuff, splash water ON THE TISSUE, and wipe your a.. (sorry, I meant your... you know what I mean). Do this 2 or three times and finish of with tissue, without any water. You'll be clean as a newborn baby.

But what do you then do with the soiled tissue? Flush it down the hole?

Personally I favour the hand cleaning method although the lack of soap to properly wash up afterwards is sometimes a problem.

[/quote

Use ONLY the left hand to do the cleaning and wiping. Thats why farang should NEVER hand anything to Thais with their left hand since it is considered dirty.

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I always have problems with the squatters, i just take my pants off completely and have one hand on the back mall to keep me falling in. Its bad when you start cramping up too.

I just mastered using the jet spray, i never wanted to use it because i thought it would splash all the crap everywhere, but to my surprise it didnt and I actually love it.

It also feels GREAT :o

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I always have problems with the squatters, i just take my pants off completely and have one hand on the back mall to keep me falling in. Its bad when you start cramping up too.

I just mastered using the jet spray, i never wanted to use it because i thought it would splash all the crap everywhere, but to my surprise it didnt and I actually love it.

It also feels GREAT :o

The "Ass Blaster" splendid bit of kit. also heard the term "Bum Gun" wonderfull

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BTW, do the Thai have similar problems with western toilets?

Well, I've heard of Thais squatting squat-toilet style on top of a western toilet seat! Now that's a pretty precarious position to be in. I could also imagine a toilet seat breaking easily with that much weight on it...

Many western toilets in China have a sign above them with a person squatting on the seat and then a circle with a slash through it. I couldn't imagine someone doing this, until I saw shoe prints on the seat.

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Traditionally the left hand is used for cleaning and it is one reason why you don't see Thais using their left hand very much in their dining habits.

That is also why in the middle east if you are caught stealing, they cut off your right hand. Makes it so that you cannot eat in public because no one would eat with you when you are using your left hand to eat out of the bowl.

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... also i have this image of the phone falling out of the front pocket and into the loo... so rather than losing a BHT 20K gadget, I rather take off the pants :o

I have done this. A little clean up and open it up to dry and it worked like a charm for a few more years.

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You say you don't like Thai toilets? Ha-ha-ha! Go to China and see what toilets they have there, that will be an unforgettable experience.

As I always say, any complaint that people have about Thailand is 10 times worse in China.

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One I got passed the mental stage fright of squatting I thought they were great and I love the water shower head - much cleaner than toilet paper and after 6 months in Thailand i wanted to fit on at home - don't think you can in the UK. I am just back from Egypt though and they have them too - so loving them all over again loL!! cotton undies is the key !

As for China - I didn't find the toilets bacd and they always had a western version that no one ever used - maybe it would have been different out in the sticks!

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My first adventure "squatting" was in Paris, 1957, no big deal now.

I now have toilet roll and wet wipes as "must take", where eva I travel.

Noway, am I gunna spray me butt in a public convenience....... ewwwwww.

A couple of toilet seat covers are handy too.

Usually purloined from hotels.

THE MAIN THING IN THAILAND IS WEAR SHORTS.

Males and females are able tp piss standing up, hold baqck the brown stuff till ya get home.

Any femmes who think otherwise, just need practice, quite simple. Do it in the shower.

I guess body size could cause a problem.

With some Thai food, and hygiene, holding back, that can be a challenge........LOL

Mind over matter works for me, empty everything before departing.

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Hey when i was there last month, i was in a mini bis (van) and this american girl pooped her pants, it stunk so freaking bad, i think she had the runs.

The worst part was that she was a blonde stunner. But i wouldnt touch that now. lucky we got out in about 10 mins, she came so close to making it.

Had to feel sorry for her though, she didnt want to lose face by saying she has to go to the toilet, then she paid and stunk us all out

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Hey when i was there last month, i was in a mini bis (van) and this american girl pooped her pants, it stunk so freaking bad, i think she had the runs.

The worst part was that she was a blonde stunner. But i wouldnt touch that now. lucky we got out in about 10 mins, she came so close to making it.

Had to feel sorry for her though, she didnt want to lose face by saying she has to go to the toilet, then she paid and stunk us all out

How did you know she was American? Did she use blank passport pages to tidy up and you saw passport?

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