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What would you do with this episode


Liverpudlian

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We are raising a niece. she has been with us in a family compound since she was a toddler... dinner with my wife was in front of the tv and sure, they were watching those silly dramas... 

 

But, they know it is not real... she also used to sit at the computer and watch cartoons and children's music videos... 

 

My niece is now 14 - she is a really great kid. She is a good student, takes her schooling seriously, and more important is a wonderful kind, considerate human being....

 

The example you set in your ways and temperment is probably far more important and if you are fighting with your wife and her family, it is very stressful for children to watch this... it is very very upsetting/unsettling to watch your loved ones fight... a friend of mine used to fight like heck with his wife and the kid had serious problems from age 2 onward... 

 

good luck but sometimes you need to adjust your priorities... if your #1 priority is the kid, find a way to get along and stay there for her... don't make a big deal over minor things... 

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19 minutes ago, Liverpudlian said:

returned to the UK after 3 weeks i returned to continue to support her ... hands up any one else would do the same ? Nah i dont think so.

Oh please, many of us don't leave in the first place... by walking out did you create far more trauma for the child than a silly tv series? 

 

TV isn't real - but you are... 

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20 minutes ago, DannyCarlton said:

He's got more kids than your average billy goat. Poor sod only has to wink at a woman and they get pregnant.

 

 

Not to mention my 2 back in sarfport blagging there way thru benefits galore with there own kids ey ! one thing i am not proud of by any stretch needless to say i havent hung round with that mob since mid 70s and happy to leave it that way, unlike my 3 here LOS, land of scams. ????    may catch up down there soon ey !

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20 hours ago, sirineou said:

I am 62 and still have no idea what's going on,

I also don't understand these Thai soaps. All I know is that they all have the Aloof Good Looking Guy, the regular guy who is his friend, The comic guy, at least one ladyboy who can also be the "comic guy" and a midget . Sorry I meant to say vertically challenged person.  Ohh <deleted>!! I forgot, and a lot of eye candy Tragically scrambling  about.

I like the eye candy, also I like soft boiled eggs and Feta Cheese. unfortunately I cant find feta cheese in Thailand

we buy feta at macro, it tastes ok actually, blue container, Apetina feta cheese

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5 minutes ago, kensisaket said:

Not sure why you wouldn't just buy your daughter an ipad clone for a couple thousand baht then load it with whatever you consider appropriate viewing for her ie. educational cartoons.  

She shares one with her mom BUT when the old geezers erm parents come back its all THERE way from then on till they <deleted> off to there shops.

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   21 hours ago, Liverpudlian said:
 

No just the G/F and daughter, they are middle class market traders , i moved in with them due to my home being riddled with termites at the time my girl was born and at that time i had no other choice.

 

So you moved in two and a half years ago when your girl was born out of necessity because of your own termite riddled house. I suggest it was your GF's house, that was supposed to have been made habitable before bub was born.

I saw your previous thread; now this one. I'd say from practical experience two and a half years is more then enough time to rectify the problems with your own home. What progress have you made with that?

You also state; "at that time i had no other choice."

We always have choices....why didn't you rent your own place way back then?

There's definitely more to this than were being told. I respectfully suggest you like to take the easy way out as you threat to return home implies. Posting on a forum whining about a problem of your own creation is also a lazy man's way to deal with his issuses, instead of manning up and taking control. TIT

 

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4 minutes ago, UncleMhee said:
  21 hours ago, Liverpudlian said:

No just the G/F and daughter, they are middle class market traders , i moved in with them due to my home being riddled with termites at the time my girl was born and at that time i had no other choice.

Perhaps now the crows flapping around a potential kill will buzz off back to there thorny nests.

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8 minutes ago, YT3k72Em said:

Is the termite situation fixed now?

The damage destroyed all the roofing timbers they actually nibbled there way up thru all the concrete upright supports and into the entire wood network of the building totaly unseen untill the fancy roof edgings started to fall off and all this happened while i was away chiang mai for 2 years and my ex did a number on me by going into debt and selling my motor but said it was stolen but hey ! i want to keep all that malarky in the grave and cope with this mission. 

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I haven't had the time to read the entire thread so apologies if this has been asked but do you have the brass to move to a place of your own? I'm sure they'd understand if you wanted to set up your own gaff. 

 

I have had a few pals in similar situations over the years. The solution was always the same, and always worked with little ill feeling. Thay simply got their own place citing they wanted their freedom and independence which eased matters with their other halfs, and the family seemed to respect the fact they wanted to stand on their own two feet. 

 

Good luck.

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15 minutes ago, IvorLott said:

I haven't had the time to read the entire thread so apologies if this has been asked but do you have the brass to move to a place of your own? I'm sure they'd understand if you wanted to set up your own gaff. 

 

I have had a few pals in similar situations over the years. The solution was always the same, and always worked with little ill feeling. Thay simply got their own place citing they wanted their freedom and independence which eased matters with their other halfs, and the family seemed to respect the fact they wanted to stand on their own two feet. 

 

Good luck.

Her parents have full controll over her and she is 37 says it all .

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The hippocampus, the part of the brain that controls memory, is not fully developed in children until the age of four or five.  That is why we really have no memories of our younger years unless told about things that happened then by our elders at a later date,  I am both a father and a retired teacher who took many child development courses as part of my university education.  That said, my advice is to make sure that your name is on the child's birth certificate and you are legally registered as her father.  After that, if the child's mother is important to you then marry her and move to a different province with your daughter or back to your home country.  For now, spend more time playing with your daughter, reading to her, and taking her places to keep her from being parked in front of the TV.  Once you get up the courage to move, do not buy a TV.  My children have grown up without one, and they are now not interested in watching TV much at all. I made the decision not to buy a TV when I moved to Thailand thirty years ago.

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2 minutes ago, CM Dad said:

The hippocampus, the part of the brain that controls memory, is not fully developed in children until the age of four or five.  That is why we really have no memories of our younger years unless told about things that happened then by our elders at a later date,  I am both a father and a retired teacher who took many child development courses as part of my university education.  That said, my advice is to make sure that your name is on the child's birth certificate and you are legally registered as her father.  After that, if the child's mother is important to you then marry her and move to a different province with your daughter or back to your home country.  For now, spend more time playing with your daughter, reading to her, and taking her places to keep her from being parked in front of the TV.  Once you get up the courage to move, do not buy a TV.  My children have grown up without one, and they are now not interested in watching TV much at all. I made the decision not to buy a TV when I moved to Thailand thirty years ago.

I can actualy remember being in a blue cot and people laughing and giggling and NO to the rest of the planks downing this post i was not in my 20s at that time there you see my scouse humour is as rare as chickens teeth and 1 step ahead of you but CM Dad   your reply is very warm and welcome as my plight to help avoid violence on the screen thai style is not acceptable for me because it will become part of her growing up in this household, my fault for being a loving dad but probably not helped by memories of a fueding past parental background wich i remember vividly , thanks for your thoughts.

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13 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Just curious but how long have you been living under their roof ?

2 years..they are actualy caring folks and always call me out to share tucker and beers BUT they riddled in the voodoo malarky and full controll of my G/F who is 37, i cant for the life of me adapt to this "so called" culture ??

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I think you are playing the psychological game called "Yes, but..."  Somebody suggests a solution and you say, "Yes, but I can't do that because..."

 

Your choices are quite limited.  Assuming you have the money, you can move out. Maybe your girlfriend and daughter will go with you, but maybe not.  

 

If you are supporting the family financially, you can put your foot down and refuse to pay until they comply with your wishes. 

 

Or you can continue as you have been.  In which case you have effectively abandoned your daughter anyway because you have no control over her upbringing.  And you are teaching her that dads are ineffective.

 

I'm sorry you have a difficult situation, but it's time to stop posting, stop whining and start taking action.  I hope you make the best choice for you and her. Good luck!  

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1 minute ago, Liverpudlian said:

2 years..they are actualy caring folks and always call me out to share tucker and beers BUT they riddled in the voodoo malarky and full controll of my G/F who is 37, i cant for the life of me adapt to this "so called" culture ??

Perhaps I am old fashion but.....

  Two years, you have a daughter ,and the mother of your daughter is still your Girlfriend???

and then you complain about their culture?  Don't you think that's a bit of the kettle calling the pot black?

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One other suggestion - if you do not speak Thai, then learn how since you have chosen to live in Thailand.  You will find that speaking and understanding the language will improve your life and your understanding of the local culture.  Also, you do not have to pay a Thai lawyer to get a divorce.  You can do it yourself, especially if you can speak Thai.  Even if you did need a Thai lawyer, then weigh the cost against your concern for your daughter.  Which is more important, the child or money?

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3 minutes ago, sirineou said:

Perhaps I am old fashion but.....

  Two years, you have a daughter ,and the mother of your daughter is still your Girlfriend???

and then you complain about their culture?  Don't you think that's a bit of the kettle calling the pot black?

Perhaps but my ex will not respond to divorce requests and i am NO MUG to pay lawyers for a stand off result.

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4 minutes ago, CM Dad said:

One other suggestion - if you do not speak Thai, then learn how since you have chosen to live in Thailand.  You will find that speaking and understanding the language will improve your life and your understanding of the local culture.  Also, you do not have to pay a Thai lawyer to get a divorce.  You can do it yourself, especially if you can speak Thai.  Even if you did need a Thai lawyer, then weigh the cost against your concern for your daughter.  Which is more important, the child or money?

I speak enough thai to get me into trouble it seems, been here 15 years budd.

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