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For the middle aged and up here did you make your friends in Thailand?


sidjameson

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Some people here report about friends who are no friends anymore and it sounds like in hindsight they think they were never real friends because if they would have been real friends then they would still be friends.

 

I think having friends and losing friends is just part of life. Most of us change and over time if we change and our friends change then it's likely that at least some of them change in different directions.

 

I.e. maybe 10 years ago I had a friend who I saw regularly (mostly not for drinks). He worked and was mostly happy. Then he didn't work anymore and he was not a happy person anymore. He complained about everything. I saw him less and less. And finally I stopped seeing him because I knew if I would see him for an hour he would use at least 50min to complain. I don't need that. He didn't want to change and I never saw him again. I am sure if he would tell the story it would be different. But one way or another: We changed and not in the same direction and we were no friends anymore. That's life.

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9 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Some people here report about friends who are no friends anymore and it sounds like in hindsight they think they were never real friends because if they would have been real friends then they would still be friends.

You're right, it just took me 45 years to see what a-holes they really were.

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Made plenty of friends here over the years, various nationalities.

Just through being friendly, saying Hello.

 

Never been asked for money from a foreign friend.

 

Was asked once by a Thai friend, granted it, took ages to get back, no longer a friend.

 

My friends here one thing I missed when I took a break from Thailand.

 

Maybe I have been lucky.

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Only old farts where I live, so have to settle for them. ????

 

Would like to chat to some1 my age, but have to make do, when I go to work to meet them.

 

Generally, the younger one's GF's don't want me around cause I tell their boyfriends how it really is with the women here. ???? They visit once, but the men are not allowed back and they do what she says. Rather have no friends than these weak barstewards. ???? 

 

Here's hopping for fresh blood, but it's doubtful. ????

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6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I don't like anybody, and I don't care either.

(outside immediate family)

I did have a few friends, but they died, and I can't be bothered any more.

Would love to have a beer and shoot the <deleted> with you, based on this and your previous posts. ????

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7 hours ago, Fex Bluse said:

Made a small number of friends over the decades - all non-Thais. 

 

Most other acquaintances outlived their purpose once people left Thailand or moved within Thailand. 

 

Expats from different countries are often quite different of course. 

 

I had a German friend who returned to Germany a few years ago. He didn't quite like some of my other social group who were from Norway and Sweden. A couple Brit friends seemed to dislike everyone. 

 

They were all older and relatively inflexible to adjust to new people. 

I have found Norwegians and Swedish people to generally be, a r s e h o l e s. But maybe, that's just me. ????

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3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I can't be bothered to try and understand anyone other than fellow Brits.

Don't like them particularly either,but I do have one good Brit friend. ????

 

Only one, mind you. Us Irish can't be seen to like the Brits too much. ????

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for me it seems a bit difficult to find some good friends here, i am 50 year old german guy living in bkk since a couple of years.

I have a hand full of very close friends at home in germany, which i know more then 20 years  or some even over 30 year. We regular chat and talk on phone. I go back to germany once a year and i meet them all and we have a good time. I am very blessed to have them.

 

Here i have a few friends from germany, france, and italy.  With some mostly the topics are about girls and who fxxx who, and this really starts to annoying me.... With some it is more close, going for dinner, have a drink, and i can talk with them about the good and bad things in life. But i think  good friendships will take time to grow, nothing what you can achieve in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately some good friends moved on already, some got job offers in other country, and some just got tired of thailand and left for another country or went back to their home country.

 

My best friend here passed away last year, he got a heart attack being 51 years old. I miss him a lot, as we had similar interests, we could talk about a wide range of topics and we did a lot of activitys together, sport, culture, weekend trips, and so on. And most important we could talk about personal things.

 

I have no problem, to start a conversation with strangers, and with some i have a really nice evening, chatting and having a few drinks.

But mostly they are tourists, or they work for a short time here in thailand, or they living in other country around TH and just visit BKK for a few days. Some i would like to meet again, some better not. I would be happy if i had some more friends with whom i can do more activitys beside drinking at night, for example sports, sightseeing and so on...

 

I like to spend time with my girlfriend, but it is also very important for me to meet friends once or twice a week to find some balance ????

 

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I think one of the challenges (at least for me) is finding the "balance" I had in the states. What I mean by that is I had friends and buddies ages 30 to 55 or so.  So we would go do various activities or get togethers whether a sports game, camping, motorcycle riding, boating, weekends to Vegas, motors sports events or just big house parties etc. The discussions topics were all over the place which made it refreshing and fun. 

 

Here the vast majority of foreigners are old, many have ailments which limits their capabilities to do things, many are whiners and complain leading to discussions that are extremely boring. Others I have met in various business venues have typically been drunken loud mouths after a few beers. When it comes to younger Thai people I associate with at work, they have very very limited interests and honestly do not have disposable income to go off and do different things that I grew up doing and still like to do. So establishing that "Balance", if you will, is extremely difficult. Plus if you toss in that many people you meet here are from other countries you find quickly you have absolutely zero in common with them and you just can't relate to what they did in their home country. 

 

I frequently tell other expats that say they want to move abroad for a job like I am doing. It is a key point one should consider, especially if you are social, hobby driven, active type. At this time I find I do most of my stuff alone and do enjoy it. You make it what it is. My wife is very supportive and has enjoyed trying some and now likes many. 

 

 

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51 minutes ago, thequietman said:

Don't like them particularly either,but I do have one good Brit friend. ????

 

Only one, mind you. Us Irish can't be seen to like the Brits too much. ????

Because of the royale a** whipping.

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6 minutes ago, JAFO said:

Here the vast majority of foreigners are old, many have ailments which limits their capabilities to do things, many are whiners and complain leading to discussions that are extremely boring. Others I have met in various business venues have typically been drunken loud mouths after a few beers.

Very set in their ways, so get upset when you disagree with their point of view.

 

Walking on egg shells when I visit, which is not often. ????

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7 minutes ago, thequietman said:

Very set in their ways, so get upset when you disagree with their point of view.

 

Walking on egg shells when I visit, which is not often. ????

YES...Absolutely. And if you try and discuss things you like to do and they never did it, they seem offended and take the stance you are just bragging when the intent is to see what the person likes to do or has done. Its a weird dynamic. What you hope to say is "Hey I used to Jet Ski in the states and they go "Yeah I did too". Then you might connect and plan a weekend out on an island and rent wave runners and play around while the wives or GF's call us crazy foreigners. ????

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29 minutes ago, thequietman said:

Very set in their ways, so get upset when you disagree with their point of view.

I just agree with everyone and make a game of it.

I can agree with anything for 10 minutes, and then I leave.

I think I've gone a bit native as I'm doing exactly what the Thais do.

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31 minutes ago, thequietman said:

No, because they invaded our country, murdered thousands of Irish men and women and generally, were pricks, like the English are. ????

 

But, I don't hold a grudge. ????

The Irish didn't do a bad job of murdering each other.

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20 hours ago, giddyup said:

The Irish didn't do a bad job of murdering each other.

Ah, but if you were to ask them - they would say that were not Irish and indeed British.

 

However, let's not get bogged down in the politics of it all. I have befriended one English man and who's to say there won't be more. ????

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23 hours ago, thequietman said:

No, because they invaded our country, murdered thousands of Irish men and women and generally, were pricks, like the English are. ????

 

But, I don't hold a grudge. ????

To clarify, I meant the whipping the Irish handed out.????

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On 10/18/2019 at 1:00 PM, Pilotman said:

I have two dogs, one 12 months old the other 3 months and an 12 year old cat.  I wouldn't trade any one for another.  They are all sociable, loving and great companions, for us and for each other. My cat hasn't caught a bird in her life, she tries, but fails. In any event, I would not criticise any animal that is just following its innate instinct.   As for many so called human 'friends', in ones' life, well good luck with them.   

Animals are not your friend and are not capable of love, try not feeding the things and see what happens!

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1 minute ago, Orton Rd said:

Animals are not your friend and are not capable of love, try not feeding the things and see what happens!

You've obviously never owned a dog, not a thing. Dogs give loyalty and unconditional love, plenty of examples of that on the internet, but I doubt you'd believe the evidence.

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1 minute ago, giddyup said:

You've obviously never owned a dog, not a thing. Dogs give loyalty and unconditional love, plenty of examples of that on the internet, but I doubt you'd believe the evidence.

What is love but a reinforcing feedback loop of  desirable behaviours and a desire to maintain it. I know it sounds clinical , but that's exactly what it is, and as such Dog loves his owner very much.

  As far as "Unconditional" I am not so sure. I agree it does not take much , but there are conditions to be met, If you disagree, try abusing a Pitbull, and then comeback and we can talk about it. LOL

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18 minutes ago, Orton Rd said:

Animals are not your friend and are not capable of love, try not feeding the things and see what happens!

They are as much. if not a great deal more, friends than many human so called 'friends' I have met over the years.   They don't understand hypocrisy, or double dealing, they are not driven by money or ambition and they seldom get jealous in the human sense. If nobody fed you what would you do,  stick around and just die?  No, you would go and find food where ever you could. Don't expect loyal animals to act any differently to you, in the circumstances you quote.    

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