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For the middle aged and up here did you make your friends in Thailand?


sidjameson

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1 hour ago, giddyup said:

You've obviously never owned a dog, not a thing. Dogs give loyalty and unconditional love, plenty of examples of that on the internet, but I doubt you'd believe the evidence.

The last thing I would want to own is a filthy, noisy, dribbling pathetic dog. At least cats have an air of dignity, dogs are just horrible dependents, women love them as they are something that needs you. Anyone thinking a dog is a friend is deluding themselves, IMO.

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Never had any Farang friends in a Thai Tourist-Hub. But had a few while living in the sticks.
Remarkably, some of them seem to have turned over total control to their Thai wifes. (yes darling, yes honey, of course sweetheart).
Had to watch every word I said, afraid it would displease him and especially his wife. Those wifes increasingly "shielding" their Farang Hubbies from me. So, I let those friendships "fizzle-out".
- I have often wondered if this overly obedient behaviour of Farangs is owed to the fact that they have realised, that if this ends up in a divorce, they would lose half of their (financial) a**?

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On 10/18/2019 at 7:00 PM, Pilotman said:

I have two dogs, one 12 months old the other 3 months and an 12 year old cat.  I wouldn't trade any one for another.  They are all sociable, loving and great companions, for us and for each other. My cat hasn't caught a bird in her life, she tries, but fails. In any event, I would not criticise any animal that is just following its innate instinct.   As for many so called human 'friends', in ones' life, well good luck with them.   

I don't like any animal that loves to be cruel for the sake of being cruel, including humans that are.

If I see a cat toying with a mouse or a bird I'll throw something large at them.

I used to drive huskies in Antarctica. They'd try to kill anything eg birds, seals, penguins, each other, but strangely they loved humans. Never worked that out.

I'd like a small dog to love me unconditionally, but sadly the place I live doesn't allow them.

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9 hours ago, swissie said:

Never had any Farang friends in a Thai Tourist-Hub. But had a few while living in the sticks.
Remarkably, some of them seem to have turned over total control to their Thai wifes. (yes darling, yes honey, of course sweetheart).
Had to watch every word I said, afraid it would displease him and especially his wife. Those wifes increasingly "shielding" their Farang Hubbies from me. So, I let those friendships "fizzle-out".
- I have often wondered if this overly obedient behaviour of Farangs is owed to the fact that they have realised, that if this ends up in a divorce, they would lose half of their (financial) a**?

No, it's because they want a sex life, which presumably is why they actually married them.

Men only have power over women till they are in a relationship they can't escape easily. Then <deleted> power takes over.

 

See lots of movies where the ( western ) man crawls to the woman- "I promise to make you happy for the rest of your life" etc, and bribes her with a very large diamond to marry him. From that point on he's lucky to get any at all, unless he's done something to make her feel grateful, like buy her a mink coat.

Marriage, can keep it- I'll never fall for that malarkey again.

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On 10/18/2019 at 11:45 PM, ConsulZ said:

for me it seems a bit difficult to find some good friends here, i am 50 year old german guy living in bkk since a couple of years.

I have a hand full of very close friends at home in germany, which i know more then 20 years  or some even over 30 year. We regular chat and talk on phone. I go back to germany once a year and i meet them all and we have a good time. I am very blessed to have them.

 

Here i have a few friends from germany, france, and italy.  With some mostly the topics are about girls and who fxxx who, and this really starts to annoying me.... With some it is more close, going for dinner, have a drink, and i can talk with them about the good and bad things in life. But i think  good friendships will take time to grow, nothing what you can achieve in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately some good friends moved on already, some got job offers in other country, and some just got tired of thailand and left for another country or went back to their home country.

 

My best friend here passed away last year, he got a heart attack being 51 years old. I miss him a lot, as we had similar interests, we could talk about a wide range of topics and we did a lot of activitys together, sport, culture, weekend trips, and so on. And most important we could talk about personal things.

 

I have no problem, to start a conversation with strangers, and with some i have a really nice evening, chatting and having a few drinks.

But mostly they are tourists, or they work for a short time here in thailand, or they living in other country around TH and just visit BKK for a few days. Some i would like to meet again, some better not. I would be happy if i had some more friends with whom i can do more activitys beside drinking at night, for example sports, sightseeing and so on...

 

I like to spend time with my girlfriend, but it is also very important for me to meet friends once or twice a week to find some balance ????

 

Making friends is a mystery to me. All my friends just happened slowly over time. I appreciate that some people can "make friends" easily, but are they really friends or just aquaintances?

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11 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

The last thing I would want to own is a filthy, noisy, dribbling pathetic dog. At least cats have an air of dignity, dogs are just horrible dependents, women love them as they are something that needs you. Anyone thinking a dog is a friend is deluding themselves, IMO.

Dogs probably don't like you either, they are usually a pretty good judge of character.

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10 hours ago, swissie said:

Never had any Farang friends in a Thai Tourist-Hub. But had a few while living in the sticks.
Remarkably, some of them seem to have turned over total control to their Thai wifes. (yes darling, yes honey, of course sweetheart).
Had to watch every word I said, afraid it would displease him and especially his wife. Those wifes increasingly "shielding" their Farang Hubbies from me. So, I let those friendships "fizzle-out".
- I have often wondered if this overly obedient behaviour of Farangs is owed to the fact that they have realised, that if this ends up in a divorce, they would lose half of their (financial) a**?

Spot on.

 

Whatever was said "in confidence" was rapidly retailed back to the wife who had all the facilities of "facebook" and "line" at her command.

 

You were going to go down.In the end I took a leaf out of Britman's (and the Thai's) book-became a nodding donkey,smiled for the camera,downed a Leo (with ice) and departed.-30 minutes maximum.

 

I think that a lot it relates to insecurities attached to aging,heavy drinking and  concrete thinking.

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2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't like any animal that loves to be cruel for the sake of being cruel, including humans that are.

If I see a cat toying with a mouse or a bird I'll throw something large at them.

I used to drive huskies in Antarctica. They'd try to kill anything eg birds, seals, penguins, each other, but strangely they loved humans. Never worked that out.

I'd like a small dog to love me unconditionally, but sadly the place I live doesn't allow them.

Cats acting like that are not being 'cruel', ( a human feeling that animals do not possess) they are acting purely on instinct. They are hunters and as such they are designed and act on that hunting drive, even when playing with furry toys at home. If i see my cat chasing birds or lizards then I call her back, but I don't criticise her for trying.  

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I imagine to have friends one needs to be trusting, emotionally (at least) trustworthy, accepting to some degree, non judgmental, also to some workable degree, and to participate in relationship on some level ground, ... I have none of these abilities or qualities and so I have lived and live a life alone for very much the most part.

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I tried socialising with people when I first came here (men) but soon discovered they all seem to have in common  the same  "favourite subject"....Themselves....so I'm back to hanging out with my favourite companion...Myself.

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I have a human as a true friend, and that's enough!
With all those I called friends until a few years ago, I had some bad experiences, so I don't want to try to make friends with humans anymore!
I have many friends in the "animal" world, real friends!

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I have made several "friends" here over the years, i live in a quiet spot and don't go to bars or pubs, they do. we occasionally all get together at someones house for birthday party's with our partners  and have a good night. here it is- BUT over the years most have let me down one way or another, arranging to do something with them, or even trying to help them by taking them, go see about getting docs signed and stuff like that, then when i turn up at the arranged time, without a thought for me they have been out on the booze the night before till 3 am and cant come :angry: so tell me are they friends?

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7 hours ago, 30la said:

I have a human as a true friend, and that's enough!
With all those I called friends until a few years ago, I had some bad experiences, so I don't want to try to make friends with humans anymore!
I have many friends in the "animal" world, real friends!

Woof Woof to that. 

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On 10/19/2019 at 7:11 PM, Orton Rd said:

The last thing I would want to own is a filthy, noisy, dribbling pathetic dog.

my dog is neither any of that, and she is loyal to me, a very intuitive dog she snapped at the ankle of immigration as they left our property, came to heel and then licked the cats nose,  i will always love her for that alone, i wait in anticipation till next year.  :cheesy::cheesy::cheesy::clap2::clap2:   

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Great question posted. I recently returned after two months back in California visiting. Reminded myself of how much a person can enjoy friendships. Retirment there is mostly boring. My only compalint here is myself not makeing friends near Chiang Mai. Farangs I do meet are travelers and not locals. I read all the responses and was saddened to not find much help. I joined a Sunday bike club but that didn't really work out. Won't give up yet.

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48 minutes ago, earlinclaifornia said:

Great question posted. I recently returned after two months back in California visiting. Reminded myself of how much a person can enjoy friendships. Retirment there is mostly boring. My only compalint here is myself not makeing friends near Chiang Mai. Farangs I do meet are travelers and not locals. I read all the responses and was saddened to not find much help. I joined a Sunday bike club but that didn't really work out. Won't give up yet.

Join the Saturday or Sunday hiking clubs in Chiang Mai.

And even if you don't meet anyone you like, at least it'll give you a good workout.

Hiking season has just started and there's at least 3 events a week now.

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16 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Join the Saturday or Sunday hiking clubs in Chiang Mai.

And even if you don't meet anyone you like, at least it'll give you a good workout.

Hiking season has just started and there's at least 3 events a week now.

Yeah but if they would have me as a member, I wouldnt even want to join.

 

Besides, even if its hiking season, when the rangers see me coming, they close the trail. Something about infectious diseases making the jump to the frog population.

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The only potential friends I’ve come into contact with are boyfriends of my tgf’s friends. All but one have been complete losers of the highest order. My tgf’s best friend is dating an Australian. He’s a total <deleted>. Then again, most of her friends are freeloaders without a brain cell between them and seem to attract the same.

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I'm 60 plus and am living my life here for 3 years. Before I came to the same place for four years. I do have some friends here, mostly expats but real friends. It's as all over the world...you can have many friends but real friends are a few. I'm fine this way as I don't feel any need of being everybody's friend. 

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