Dogberry Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 So this tatted thug is the baby daddy of my two year old step grand daughter. He and my step daughter were both 15 when she got pregnant. My wife and I are joyfully raising the little cutie in our home. BTW this is the same charming fellow who hit baby-mommy in the eye about a year ago. HARD. One of those purple green bruisers with a nice cut. For the last two years he has had little to nothing to do with his baby but lately he’s been (to his credit in my mind) showing up and taking her away for a few hours. However, on two occasions he’s taken her to his mom’s house for an over-niter. I watched both times as he collected the baby AND her gear. Diapers, formula, blanket, bottles,cream, bla-bla-bla baby stuff. OK, I’m alright with that. For awhile 55. Yesterday he had our sweetie at his mom’s place and for whatever reason decided to keep her another night. So what does he do? He drives right past 7, Tesco AND a baby supply place to arrive at my door demanding a new box of formula AND, get this, more diapers. I told him no. This was when balled his fist and pulled his shoulder back as if to hit me. Good Lord I’m 68 years old and this little *#%*& is 18. Maybe it was actual impulse control or perhaps it was just too many witnesses but, he didn’t hit me. What was good was I kept my hands low, palms out in a pacifying manner. I never pointed a finger or raised my voice but I did manage to keep a SMILE. HAHA. There are so many things wrong about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogberry Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 My apologies if I offended anyone about tats. I was raised to think only sailors and ex-cons had them. I realize it's now a fashion or whatever, just not for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orton Rd Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Sailors, ex cons, bargirls and idiots I would say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneMoreFarang Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Maybe, just maybe, someone has to explain to him what the baby needs. Personally I have no baby and no experience with them. If someone would ask me to take care of a baby (and I can't avoid it) I would ask for all the correct supplies because I have no idea about them. Maybe the guy never bought any of this and has no idea what he should buy or not buy. Maybe someone should go with him to a shop and show him exactly which products make sense and which he should buy. I know that does not guarantee that he does not go back to you. But at least he would know what to buy. Now maybe he goes in a shop and buys just anything that he things might be ok. And probably he will buy the cheapest and possibly something bad for the baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogberry Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 3 minutes ago, Orton Rd said: and idiots well in this case he is certainly that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
55Jay Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Conversation is running through your wife or do you speak enough Thai to go direct? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogberry Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said: Maybe, just maybe, someone has to explain to him what the baby needs. Personally I have no baby and no experience with them. If someone would ask me to take care of a baby (and I can't avoid it) I would ask for all the correct supplies because I have no idea about them. Maybe the guy never bought any of this and has no idea what he should buy or not buy. Maybe someone should go with him to a shop and should him exactly which products make sense and which he should buy. I know that does not guarantee that he does not go back to you. But at least he would know what to buy. Now maybe he goes in a shop and buys just anything that he things might be ok. And probably he will buy the cheapest and possibly something bad for the baby. He's been getting the baby bag from us every time he takes her. What am gonna do? Tell him look in the bag? You see powder, vasoline, diapers, formula etc etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogberry Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 1 minute ago, 55Jay said: Conversation is running through your wife or do you speak enough Thai to go direct? half half and I started the dialog with "excuse me, but..." NO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneMoreFarang Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 1 minute ago, Dogberry said: He's been getting the baby bag from us every time he takes her. What am gonna do? Tell him look in the bag? You see powder, vasoline, diapers, formula etc etc... In principle you are right. But I am sure there are different brands and taste and size and whatever for all of them. Maybe someone should tell him about the details. And maybe this is a way to form a better "relationship" with him - if you want that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogberry Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 3 minutes ago, Dogberry said: I know that does not guarantee that he does not go back to you. but DUDE he was ready to SWING at me!!! <deleted>? I mean W T F ! And he's already proven proven himself fast and loose with the fists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogberry Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said: And maybe this is a way to form a better "relationship" with him - if you want that I would love that actually. Along with some acknowledgement that I'm the one paying for every penny of HIS daughters life. Of course I'll never get that. I would gratefully accept an end to the snearing. And threats of violence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarFlungFalang Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 29 minutes ago, Orton Rd said: Sailors, ex cons, bargirls and idiots I would say. I know a few burly Maoris you could repeat your comment to who would just laugh and give you a cuddle.Some might give you more than a cuddle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 I understand the situation, but you are coming across as being awkward, for no real reason, especially if you accept the guy has a role to play Onemorefarang is correct, babies do get used to a formula, there is so much choice out there, chances are that you are using an expensive one. Also a lot of choice regarding disposable nappies, creams etc, you obviously use certain brands. Personally I know it would be a nightmare for someone to go out and make random selections. Yes he could perhaps take the originals as examples, but again why have to buy quantity for one more night? Give the guy the stuff willingly, accept his participation with grace, and demonstrate, life is about making sure the childs welfare is paramount, not about who pays a few baht. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarFlungFalang Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 59 minutes ago, Dogberry said: What was good was I kept my hands low, palms out in a pacifying manner. I never pointed a finger or raised my voice but I did manage to keep a SMILE. HAHA. I think this is best way to handle the situation and as the situation is likely to continue time spent being prepared for these encounters will give you the upper hand in avoiding any escalation of tension.Avoid any confrontation because more often than not there are machetes readily available and little thought as to consequences of using them.Instead be the master negotiator and steer his thoughts away from violence and then you will saviour your win all the more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matzzon Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 44 minutes ago, Orton Rd said: Sailors, ex cons, bargirls and idiots I would say. I hope you are not calling me an idiot! I happen to have three tattoos, so that would be a problem. However, I do not think you are that kind of a bad person to call a complete stranger an idiot, so now we must get to a solution we all can live with. I´ve never sailed or done something that can be connected to beeing a sailor. Niether have I ever been convicted of something and thrown in jail, so I can not be an ex con. I guess that only leaves bargirls on the table, so to say. That I have to be a bargirl!? Do you have any clue about how severe insult you´ve just been posting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beau thai Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 1 minute ago, 473geo said: I understand the situation, but you are coming across as being awkward, for no real reason, especially if you accept the guy has a role to play Onemorefarang is correct, babies do get used to a formula, there is so much choice out there, chances are that you are using an expensive one. Also a lot of choice regarding disposable nappies, creams etc, you obviously use certain brands. Personally I know it would be a nightmare for someone to go out and make random selections. Yes he could perhaps take the originals as examples, but again why have to buy quantity for one more night? Give the guy the stuff willingly, accept his participation with grace, and demonstrate, life is about making sure the childs welfare is paramount, not about who pays a few baht. Sorry to say, I fear you are right. I think OP will have to lower his expectations, and think of the granddaughter as the responsibility of him and his wife. The father probably views him as another farang ATM, and I doubt this guy has the finances to pay for stuff for his daughter, and would probably see a round of drinks with his pals as a higher priority. Not unusual for these young guys to use or threaten violence aganist their own blood, so the OP should not expect him to be passive. Put the baby first and accept the father is unlikely to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
champers Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Give him the stuff; If he wasn't having baby over to stay you would be providing it anyway. You make no mention of his financial circumstances. Can he pay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVENKEEL Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Sure violence is all this guy will understand or respect. Find a couple hard core thai dudes to set him straight, put the fear of Buddha in his ass. You're welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amykat Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 4 minutes ago, Matzzon said: I hope you are not calling me an idiot! I happen to have three tattoos, so that would be a problem. However, I do not think you are that kind of a bad person to call a complete stranger an idiot, so now we must get to a solution we all can live with. I´ve never sailed or done something that can be connected to beeing a sailor. Niether have I ever been convicted of something and thrown in jail, so I can not be an ex con. I guess that only leaves bargirls on the table, so to say. That I have to be a bargirl!? Do you have any clue about how severe insult you´ve just been posting? Well have you ever been a heroin addict by chance ...it used to be that they would get tattoos to cover track marks?? That was left off the list of choices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FritsSikkink Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 56 minutes ago, Orton Rd said: Sailors, ex cons, bargirls and idiots I would say. But then again, you don't have a clue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orton Rd Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 28 minutes ago, FarFlungFalang said: I know a few burly Maoris you could repeat your comment to who would just laugh and give you a cuddle.Some might give you more than a cuddle! They used to be cannibals so the tats are fitting, probably the worst of all tats. People look sad when they get into their old age sporting saggy faded tats from decades before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matzzon Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 3 minutes ago, amykat said: Well have you ever been a heroin addict by chance ...it used to be that they would get tattoos to cover track marks?? That was left off the list of choices. Nope, I just made 3 of them because I wanted them. ???? Never touched any drugs more than alcohol and ganja. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvorLott Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Sounds to me like he's suddenly showing interest as he's heard that there is a 'farang' in the picture. This could mean either one of two possible scenarios; 1) He is after money. While he is putting on a show of being interested in his daughter all of a sudden, it seems a little too much of a coincidence for me. 2) His jealousy bone has been tweaked or his fragile ego is being damaged, and either he doesn't want a 'farang' raising his daughter, or he still has feelings for your Step-daughter. Either way it doesn't augur well for you. If you can get him out of your lives, do so but not with money as he'll keep coming back if that is his reason for being around. Sadly I have heard of similar situations happening to other people, neither of which went well. One had to 'pay the bloke off' but this had to be done several times until they legally got the bloke to 'sign off' all claims to his kid. Cost around a million Baht in total. In another case, threats were continually made towards the American chap until eventually the woman ended up going back to her ex who subjected her to a life of misery until she finally got up the bottle to leave him once and for all, but by then the American was long gone. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarFlungFalang Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 3 minutes ago, IvorLott said: 2) His jealousy bone has been tweaked or his fragile ego is being damaged, and either he doesn't want a 'farang' raising his daughter, or he still has feelings for your missus. I think his missus is the grandmother and not the mother of his child and although he may have feeling for his mother in law I'm pretty sure they are not the same feeling she he has towards the mother of his child although I could be mistaken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisperone Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 He is only showing interest because he thinks the supplies will keep coming. If he had to pay for them himself, there would be no sleepovers. As long as the freebies are flowing, he'll be involved. Makes him think he is being a responsible dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptypockets Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Where does the child's mother fit into this drama? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanLaew Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 35 minutes ago, Matzzon said: Do you have any clue about how severe insult you´ve just been posting? Do you have any clue about how big a nancy you come across as? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roo860 Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 After he assaulted the daughter it should have been bye bye to him, can't tolerate that behaviour. Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matzzon Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 4 minutes ago, NanLaew said: Do you have any clue about how big a nancy you come across as? Just another insult, in the safety of your little keyboard. What a big man you are. No, I don´t have a clue, but I am pretty sure you know out of measuring yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wreckingcountry Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Ah the circle of parenthood! Juvenile delinquents as a father Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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