Marrying a Thai woman who has no money or resource

[fittobethaied]

20 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

This is the other thing nothing she gets is cheap..the vaccum was indeed 5k it is a top end samsung one..as for the tyre I'm not in the vicinity but she doesn't lie about these things, if she says it's 5k then it's 5k maybe she was ripped off, we have a new fortuner..

Jeff, my question would be...why is your wife making decisions about how to spend YOUR money? I control the purse strings in my family since it's MY money, and if my wife has a need I will hear her out, but I always make the final decision and tend to be on the frugal side of purchases. I have a 1200 baht Samsung vacuum, and I guarantee you it will do the same thing your 5000 baht unit will do. I just put 4 new tires on my Honda City and spent less than 6000 baht, and they will probably last until I die.

 

Whatever happened with the idea that a man provides for his wife and family? Where I came from the man always provided for the wife and the she stayed home and took care of the house and family. I have been married 4 times and I have never had a wife that worked, nor did I want one that worked. I've always felt that it was my responsibility to be the provider and I always took pride in that. Besides, having a working wife opens up a whole new can of worms and brings multiple problems into the home. I like to keep life very simple. Perhaps you can just change your attitude about your situation and consider it an honor to be the breadwinner for your family. In my mind that's your God-given responsibility and calling in life. And no...these concepts had nothing to do with the fact that I lost three wives!!!!!!

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, fittobethaied said:

Jeff, my question would be...why is your wife making decisions about how to spend YOUR money? I control the purse strings in my family since it's MY money, and if my wife has a need I will hear her out, but I always make the final decision and tend to be on the frugal side of purchases. I have a 1200 baht Samsung vacuum, and I guarantee you it will do the same thing your 5000 baht unit will do. I just put 4 new tires on my Honda City and spent less than 6000 baht, and they will probably last until I die.

 

Whatever happened with the idea that a man provides for his wife and family? Where I came from the man always provided for the wife and the she stayed home and took care of the house and family. I have been married 4 times and I have never had a wife that worked, nor did I want one that worked. I've always felt that it was my responsibility to be the provider and I always took pride in that. Besides, having a working wife opens up a whole new can of worms and brings multiple problems into the home. I like to keep life very simple. Perhaps you can just change your attitude about your situation and consider it an honor to be the breadwinner for your family. In my mind that's your God-given responsibility and calling in life. And no...these concepts had nothing to do with the fact that I lost three wives!!!!!!

Good post but not really sure of your point. When we had our first child she quit her job and apart from having a few brief flings at sales jobs she hasn't worked since. Agree with most of what you say.

[4MyEgo]

21 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Genuine advice for any newbies here, do NOT marry a woman with no money, just don't do it, it is like supporting a child and you will be burdened down for years, if not forever.

Sad to hear, I married mine 13 years ago, and she has never worked a day since. Great mum, had two kids when I met her, we also have our own kids together, we all live in the one big house here. She and or her kids are not a burden, nor are her family members.

 

She is a good finance minister, although she doesn't handle my funds, is undemanding, will occasionally ask if she can have this or that, usually under 1,000 baht at the most, and rare, and when I agree to it, she will think about it and say, no, too expensive and will buy something cheaper down the track, at times, if I think it's worth it, I will tell her to buy it, sometimes she will, but most times she won't.

 

The way I see it is, what you put in, you must get in return, that said, if she were lazy, demanding and not a good mother, then she would get little in return, I mean how much value can you place on happiness, i.e. without going stupid, we just returned from a trip abroad for 2 weeks and a week down south, she cooked most of the time abroad when we weren't out with friends, and kept saying no to tourist attractions because of the outlay x that by the kids, so we did a lot of other things that were free and IMO better, like walking around Sydney Harbour, catching the ferry and train, driving down the south coast taking it all in.

 

If your wife is a burden financially, time to tighten up, because once you allow any B...h room upwards, you have set the bench for inflation ????

 

[4MyEgo]

21 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

This is the other thing nothing she gets is cheap..the vaccum was indeed 5k it is a top end samsung one..as for the tyre I'm not in the vicinity but she doesn't lie about these things, if she says it's 5k then it's 5k maybe she was ripped off, we have a new fortuner..

Your in control of your finances right ? So why agree to a 5k vacuum cleaner, we purchased one for under 2k if memory serves me, it works well when needed, but most times its the broom and pan, e.g. no carpet here, polished concrete and tiled floors.

 

The tyre 5k sounds about right if it's a good brand like Bridgestone etc etc, as I changed 4 tyres on a Ford Ranger about 6 months ago for 19,000 baht.

 

Like I said before, you need to tighten up, she might not like it, but let's not forget our currencies have taken a beating over the last few years, now explain that to her, she might understand the last word ?

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

4 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Sad to hear, I married mine 13 years ago, and she has never worked a day since. Great mum, had two kids when I met her, we also have our own kids together, we all live in the one big house here. She and or her kids are not a burden, nor are her family members.

 

She is a good finance minister, although she doesn't handle my funds, is undemanding, will occasionally ask if she can have this or that, usually under 1,000 baht at the most, and rare, and when I agree to it, she will think about it and say, no, too expensive and will buy something cheaper down the track, at times, if I think it's worth it, I will tell her to buy it, sometimes she will, but most times she won't.

 

The way I see it is, what you put in, you must get in return, that said, if she were lazy, demanding and not a good mother, then she would get little in return, I mean how much value can you place on happiness, i.e. without going stupid, we just returned from a trip abroad for 2 weeks and a week down south, she cooked most of the time abroad when we weren't out with friends, and kept saying no to tourist attractions because of the outlay x that by the kids, so we did a lot of other things that were free and IMO better, like walking around Sydney Harbour, catching the ferry and train, driving down the south coast taking it all in.

 

If your wife is a burden financially, time to tighten up, because once you allow any B...h room upwards, you have set the bench for inflation ????

 

Hear you. Take this pesky vaccum cleaner, she bought the best one because it was MY money, if it was hers she would have spent 2k. And there are people on here casting me as the villain. She buys clothes for the kids and they wear them once and I never see them in them again. She has no respect for money, considering her poor background you would think she would?

 

Another example, she bought a small tub of nuts the other week for Bt220.00

 

I give her plenty of money but she just likes spending, she has also a credit card with around 20k on,, which I believe is the limit.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, 4MyEgo said:

Your in control of your finances right ? So why agree to a 5k vacuum cleaner, we purchased one for under 2k if memory serves me, it works well when needed, but most times its the broom and pan, e.g. no carpet here, polished concrete and tiled floors.

 

The tyre 5k sounds about right if it's a good brand like Bridgestone etc etc, as I changed 4 tyres on a Ford Ranger about 6 months ago for 19,000 baht.

 

Like I said before, you need to tighten up, she might not like it, but let's not forget our currencies have taken a beating over the last few years, now explain that to her, she might understand the last word ?

Because at the time I wasn't in the mood to have a fight about the price of vaccum's, if I did she would have got angry, also I didn't really know how much they cost so I just gave her the money..

[Jon in Colorado]

I have a women in Phuket - she owns a hair salon and does fairly well with it and customers. There has also been times where business is not so good and customers slow down. I have helped her during these situations ( I live in Colorado. USA ). I will be there in November to be with her for some moral support with the slowdown in tourists and customers. I have come to the point that I bring her to the US because she can find plenty of work here with the skills she has and that will bring a end to the financial worries she has now. That is the best way I can explain my situation here .. 

[4MyEgo]

20 hours ago, at15 said:

The problem is most of these Thai people's obsession with money. A lot of people do not realize how much these people will risk and sacrifice to portray an image of wealth. very low IQ thinking. They could have zero money and still want everything in their life to be hi-so

It all depends who you end up with, my wife is Thai and has nothing of the above you suggest, so it's not all Thai's, but I see where your coming from, but please don't paint everyone with the same brush.

[thaibeachlovers]

21 minutes ago, fittobethaied said:

Jeff, my question would be...why is your wife making decisions about how to spend YOUR money? I control the purse strings in my family since it's MY money, and if my wife has a need I will hear her out, but I always make the final decision and tend to be on the frugal side of purchases. I have a 1200 baht Samsung vacuum, and I guarantee you it will do the same thing your 5000 baht unit will do. I just put 4 new tires on my Honda City and spent less than 6000 baht, and they will probably last until I die.

 

Whatever happened with the idea that a man provides for his wife and family? Where I came from the man always provided for the wife and the she stayed home and took care of the house and family. I have been married 4 times and I have never had a wife that worked, nor did I want one that worked. I've always felt that it was my responsibility to be the provider and I always took pride in that. Besides, having a working wife opens up a whole new can of worms and brings multiple problems into the home. I like to keep life very simple. Perhaps you can just change your attitude about your situation and consider it an honor to be the breadwinner for your family. In my mind that's your God-given responsibility and calling in life. And no...these concepts had nothing to do with the fact that I lost three wives!!!!!!

Very old fashioned attitude. My mother railed against my father because he wouldn't let her earn her own money. What modern woman is going to be completely dependent on a man for everything?

I wouldn't have even considered a woman that didn't want to work for a wife, even if she only earned 9,000 baht a month. I wanted some time to myself without having her around 24/7.

The only way I'd have considered having a non working wife would have been if she'd been doing EVERYTHING for me- cooking, cleaning, shopping, taking me where I wanted to go and waiting for me, and in the rest of the time giving me a massage, manicure etc for 8 hours a day, and I never met a woman that would have willingly done that.

Looking after children- never going to happen with me. Never wanted any, never had any.

[transam]

7 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Because at the time I wasn't in the mood to have a fight about the price of vaccum's, if I did she would have got angry, also I didn't really know how much they cost so I just gave her the money..

But you have 120,000bht a month to play with, so what is your problem...?

[tifino]

2 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

She buys clothes for the kids and they wear them once and I never see them in them again. She has no respect for money, considering her poor background you would think she would?

 the clothes quickly become a 'donation' - to show off she has made it in the world. Children

A mrs coming up out of nowhere, never wants her or her kids to look 'poor'

 

 

when someone does not work for the money in their pocket... there is no respect for it anymore 

 

it is a sort of parody of in Australia every pension day in Darwin. The country says it is Welfare... helping those who are in need:

 - but Not when you see them coming out of the supermarkets, with flaggons under each arm, heading back to shanty town (corroboree camp)

The above I always cite back to mrs - "giving all away (money) does not Help them... merely demeans them and yourself"

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, transam said:

But you have 120,000bht a month to play with, so what is your problem...?

Pls leave me alone, you give me the creeps.

 

How does ignore work on here?

[transam]

1 minute ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Pls leave me alone, you give me the creeps.

 

How does ignore work on here?

I can see through your stuff chap, others too..

 

PS. Go into settings, "ignore" is in there....????

[4MyEgo]

8 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Hear you. Take this pesky vaccum cleaner, she bought the best one because it was MY money, if it was hers she would have spent 2k. And there are people on here casting me as the villain. She buys clothes for the kids and they wear them once and I never see them in them again. She has no respect for money, considering her poor background you would think she would?

 

Another example, she bought a small tub of nuts the other week for Bt220.00

 

I give her plenty of money but she just likes spending, she has also a credit card with around 20k on,, which I believe is the limit.

There is an old saying, "allow her to spend your money and she will" now on the other hand as others have said, if you have control of your finances, you control everything, now if you can't handle arguing with her about the price of something, just go silent, she will get the message eventually.

 

Relationships are like employment, there can only be one boss, equality exists, but would your boss allow you into his/her finances, so your boss, start acting like one mate, and I don't mean be a cheap Charlie, but time to get involved, go with her shopping, say yes or no, and if clothes are not being rewarn, sheeet, there is a massive problem there, my wife still accepts hand me downs from a friend back in Oz which we don't need, but hey, if it saves us money and they are in good condition, I won't be so proud.

 

Man up and apologies for being so harsh, just can't handle B.....s who think because a blokes got money they can spend it, they should be thinking this is for me and my kids future, sounds like you spoilt her, now whether you can unspoil her will surely be a test.  

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

5 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

There is an old saying, "allow her to spend your money and she will" now on the other hand as others have said, if you have control of your finances, you control everything, now if you can't handle arguing with her about the price of something, just go silent, she will get the message eventually.

 

Relationships are like employment, there can only be one boss, equality exists, but would your boss allow you into his/her finances, so your boss, start acting like one mate, and I don't mean be a cheap Charlie, but time to get involved, go with her shopping, say yes or no, and if clothes are not being rewarn, sheeet, there is a massive problem there, my wife still accepts hand me downs from a friend back in Oz which we don't need, but hey, if it saves us money and they are in good condition, I won't be so proud.

 

Man up and apologies for being so harsh, just can't handle B.....s who think because a blokes got money they can spend it, they should be thinking this is for me and my kids future, sounds like you spoilt her, now whether you can unspoil her will surely be a test.  

No worries dude. Fully agree with your final paragraph, I suppose they think the grave train will never stop.

 

I've still got a a way to go but once the kids are grown up she won't be living off of me any longer.

[nickmondo]

thanks for the advice.........

not that its needed

what the hell were you thinking of marrying a woman like this??

marry a thai woman at your peril!!!!

dont do it......have a new one every week......its great!!!

ha ha

[NanLaew]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

If you've got money, drugs, or appear to be a violent thug, you can have women.

It's the soft guys that get the run around, no woman actually wants a man whose balls she carries in her handbag.

Unless they're Gucci-balls.

[NanLaew]

5 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Perhaps you are overthinking the situation. I am separated from my GF one week in three, as I like some space. Being together 24/7 would be too stifling for me. We do talk on LINE, but occasionally miss an evening, no big deal.

A better measure may be what happens when you get back together again. I get a very enthusiastic welcome, if you catch my drift.

Darn!... I gotta get myself a Linux babe!

[FarFlungFalang]

11 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Part of why I feel resentful is that I have taken good care of her well but am not convinced she gives a hoot about me..example, she and the kids went to her home village yesterday and the first time I heard from her was this morning as she needed money for the tyre..tonight nothing, I sent her a good night message 30 mins ago yet it's not even been read, so she's not thinking about me sat here is she? Doesn't even care what I'm up to, most wife's would be pestering their husbands if he was alone or at least asking if all is ok, etc?

See how much of a hoot she gives if some other woman tries to cut her grass or if you are threatened by someone.Judging from my own experience the cold shoulder and aloufness are part of the game or test of my commitment but although I also play the game and when things go pair shaped or some emergency occurs I leave her in no doubt about my commitment and I'm still stand by her side after 20 years and have no intention at this time to leave her although if you ask me in five minutes you might find me ready to pack my bags!Lots of swings and roundabouts.

[Jeffrey346]

22 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

12 years but we have kids too..

 

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

 

This is just out the blue stuff..

Do you expect anyone to believe anything you have to say..

What car tire costs 5K?

[4MyEgo]

20 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

No worries dude. Fully agree with your final paragraph, I suppose they think the grave train will never stop.

 

I've still got a a way to go but once the kids are grown up she won't be living off of me any longer.

Cheers.

 

I believe you have to support her and the kids, as for her living off of you, well that's a given, she is your wife, the mother of your children, she doesn't work, whether by choice or not, you have to support her, but to what level is up to you and your finances.

 

I support my wife with everything, but she doesn't have a credit card, he has no money, except from the money I give her, I will spoil her on occasion, but not at her whim and if ever, which is rare, e.g. just the other day when we were holidaying in Phuket, I was getting a massage, (no happy ending, same massuest for 10 years), wife went shopping, around the corner, and says to me that one of the girls need an extra bag (690 baht) on top of her backpack for school, I said no, she doesn't, wait till I get there, and when I did, I said, no, its <deleted>, so we shopped around and she found a better one of sale from 500 baht down to 100 baht, much better product, so I suppose you could say I saved myself 490 baht for another day, i.e. they are not right all the time, 99% maybe, but hey we have to get involved too, and there has been times where she has purchased something with me saying no, her call, if she has the money, ok, "up to you" Tiruk, regretting it later, lol, but we all have choices, and budgets of course.

[lopburi3]

10 minutes ago, Jeffrey346 said:

Car tire for 5K.. Or is it a truck/SUV tire

It seems to be an SUV - Fortuner

[NanLaew]

19 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

No worries dude. Fully agree with your final paragraph, I suppose they think the grave train will never stop.

 

I've still got a a way to go but once the kids are grown up she won't be living off of me any longer.

It's the money tree here, not the gravy train.

 

Mate of mine, recently deceased, went through a couple of years unemployment but managed to keep family together and his lad in the most expensive international school. When his wife sought extra funds, he would always tell her to go shake the money tree in the back yard... they lived in a condo. Anyway, he got back into (lucrative) contract work again and the first thing he did was buy a house in his wife's hometown and move his boy to an even more expensive private school. We all thought he was being a bit premature and shaking the new money tree a bit too hard.

 

Then he suddenly had a seizure and died. So in the end and despite the tragic loss, it worked out for his family financially with two homes and a US government funded insurance payout and widow pension. I think if one is likely to expire before one's spouse, it is imperative that steps be taken to ensure that they all be provided for. However, if one is already of the opinion that ones supposed 'life partner' is simply living of them, maybe some early homework is needed?

[thaiboss]

how many woman  aged 18 - 30 single mother  in thailand ? 10 milions more or less ?

[Max69xl]

22 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

I'm off to the pub!

Was it a big surprise for you that she would become a burden if she doesn't have an income? 

[soistalker]

2 hours ago, saengd said:

You'll forgive me I hope for saying this but I think you've just described your sum knowledge of women in Thailand, heads up, they are not all the same as the ones you seem to have met - perhaps if you break out of your current sphere you will meet normal Thai women.. 

You got all that from my post? Dear me, how? Did you perhaps quote the wrong post? 

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

21 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

It's the money tree here, not the gravy train.

 

Mate of mine, recently deceased, went through a couple of years unemployment but managed to keep family together and his lad in the most expensive international school. When his wife sought extra funds, he would always tell her to go shake the money tree in the back yard... they lived in a condo. Anyway, he got back into (lucrative) contract work again and the first thing he did was buy a house in his wife's hometown and move his boy to an even more expensive private school. We all thought he was being a bit premature and shaking the new money tree a bit too hard.

 

Then he suddenly had a seizure and died. So in the end and despite the tragic loss, it worked out for his family financially with two homes and a US government funded insurance payout and widow pension. I think if one is likely to expire before one's spouse, it is imperative that steps be taken to ensure that they all be provided for. However, if one is already of the opinion that ones supposed 'life partner' is simply living of them, maybe some early homework is needed?

Yep, I have no problems with investing for the future and acquiring assets etc...it's the daily/monthly needless spending that gets my goat.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

8 minutes ago, Max69xl said:

Was it a big surprise for you that she would become a burden if she doesn't have an income? 

Nope, I knew what I was taking on, but after 'looking after her' every month for 12 years it starts to wear a bit thin. But as I said I have made my bed..

 

I have put looking after her in '' as I note folk on here love quoting words and phrases to suit there arguments and take it all out of context. 

[transam]

2 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

All the angry replies are cracking me up..carry on

Not as much as your Mrs....????

[soistalker]

3 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Nope, I knew what I was taking on, but after looking after her every month for 12 years it starts to wear a bit thin. But as I said I have made my bed..

So what do you want to do, Jeff?