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Elzear

How to live with Isaan wife in respect of culture

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1 minute ago, from the home of CC said:

So from what I just researched, men give Japanese wives their paycheck and it's the man that gets the allowance. Always been up to different lifestyles but would have to draw the line on that one lol..

The reason is husbands would spend more time at work and with colleagues after work (company first, you know Banzai sirt if thing) and they’d spend all their money on booze and forget about the wives and kids.. etc ..  Another culture

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10 minutes ago, SteveK said:

A lot of people talk about "cultural differences" like it's a bad thing. It gives you an insight into another country's culture, gives you an opportunity to learn more about your wife and yourself, and maybe learn something new along the way like a language, a cuisine or religion. For me it taught me to be more accepting and to just go with the flow. After all, if I wanted a woman with the same culture as me I could have married a pasty bloater from the UK. Embrace the differences and enjoy each day - there are surely thousands of men who'd love to ditch the rat race and shack up in Thailand with a beautiful wife.

Not a bad thing, but you have to agree that different cultures also come with different perceptions when it comes to the topic of love vs. security in a relationship etc. 

 

Don't want to generalize too much, but a Thai woman would start a relationship based on provided security much easier and faster. It can be debated, but I'm pretty sure about this 😉 

 

The often seen larger age gap which they often don't mind too much, is kind of proof of this.

 

 

 

Edited by RedPill
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2 minutes ago, Elzear said:

The reason is husbands would spend more time at work and with colleagues after work (company first, you know Banzai sirt if thing) and they’d spend all their money on booze and forget about the wives and kids.. etc ..  Another culture

Well you said you feel neglected and like a piece of furniture.  If freely managing money, and even when not, a foreign man’s money is often directed entirely away from him, and towards the Thai family, and maybe for things you will not like.  Maybe for gambling, drinking, people who don’t work in the family, new luxury items for everyone to have face, all while you go broke.  Sort of the same problem.

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6 minutes ago, RedPill said:

Don't want to generalize too much, but a Thai woman would start a relationship based on provided security much easier and faster. It can be debated, but I'm pretty sure about this

Yes, I see this amongst Thai/Thai as well... and in the West too - - how many parents would rather their daughter marry the med student than the rebel philosopher unemployed poet? 

 

They simply need to be more practical and mostly they are... 

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7 minutes ago, Elzear said:

The reason is husbands would spend more time at work and with colleagues after work (company first, you know Banzai sirt if thing) and they’d spend all their money on booze and forget about the wives and kids.. etc ..  Another culture

sounds like many cultures (the drinking part not the allowance part)

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16 minutes ago, Elzear said:

That I fitted in and accepted their ways. That they felt I was good (not me saying). That I would provide for their daughter (normal). That I was happy to share their meal, sitting on the floor, eating with hands. That I could cook them a mushroom risotto, although not spicy.. For more, you’ll have to ask them 😌

Really, what does that add up to?  Visit some locals, eat like they do?  Offer poor people to support them, smile, smile, smile ....now you are living together, they give you their daughter.  You know nothing about these people, you can’t talk to them.  You might as well be visiting a tourist attraction ...this is how old style or poor Thais eat and live.  Now we will have cultural exchange and they will taste your food, ha ha, smile everyone.  

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15 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

Sure you can score a few points if you will try BBQ rat, raw pork and beef, bha lah, oh and the stir fried bugs are always a treat. Oh and don't forget to have a few shots Lhao kao with water chasers, ice in the beer. 

Hey, I’ve eaten things in Congo, I still don’t know what they are. Slept under smoked monkeys full of maggots. But for the story: for some reason in the past, I didn’t like cucumbers.. Once, crossing Balutchistan from Quetta to Iran in an old bus driven by an ancient driver, the bus lost its transmission rod (or whatever it’s called). In the middle of nowhere, under the sun, the passengers wait under the shade of a mud ruin. An Iranian man slices a cucumber, sprays some salt on it and offers it to me. Would you refuse it ? Since then I have nothing against cucumber. And I remain thankful to that fellow traveller for quenching my thirst. 🥒

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2 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

If you have a good family, it is not like that... I learned long ago to look at the parents of someone I was dating... I don't drink, I know where money goes to when people do drink - my family does not drink... 

 

Yes, I have contributed to the family financially - my wife and i have been buying farmland for a long time.. we do not charge rent and let the family have the profits... and everyone is living much better... we also pay for schooling of children... but when you are dealing with good people, good things happen. 

How can this OP determine this is a GOOD family with his limited exposure here?  He is a total newbie.  I read his post history.  He is still struggling with visas here and the whole system, and doesn’t know what is TM30.  He is probably crushed from his recent divorce.  People should take a break after that, not get married to the first person you meet, nobody else is noticing some red flags here ....only me???

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3 minutes ago, Elzear said:

Hey, I’ve eaten things in Congo, I still don’t know what they are. Slept under smoked monkeys full of maggots. But for the story: for some reason in the past, I didn’t like cucumbers.. Once, crossing Balutchistan from Quetta to Iran in an old bus driven by an ancient driver, the bus lost its transmission rod (or whatever it’s called). In the middle of nowhere, under the sun, the passengers wait under the shade of a mud ruin. An Iranian man slices a cucumber, sprays some salt on it and offers it to me. Would you refuse it ? Since then I have nothing against cucumber. And I remain thankful to that fellow traveller for quenching my thirst. 🥒

Yes, but you didn’t hand him your bank book and ask him to manage your money, move in and marry his daughter did you???  

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But even if you did, he probably has a better reputation than Thai families, women, looking for men with money do???

 

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32 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

Sure you can score a few points if you will try BBQ rat, raw pork and beef, bha lah, oh and the stir fried bugs are always a treat. Oh and don't forget to have a few shots Lhao kao with water chasers, ice in the beer. 

This made me laugh. Did you think they were going to give you a roast beef dinner with a Budweiser?

 

Pla-ra stinks but when it's cooked into a dish it isn't that bad. Think Worcester sauce.

 

Raw beef? I love a rare steak, who doesn't? Wish my Isaan family ate any kind of beef, to be honest. And BBQ rat tastes just like any other meat, the only problem is all the small bones, but you can learn to chew it in your mouth and spit the bones out like they do.

 

It's the differences that make Isaan great. If you can't open your mind and embrace them then frankly you'd probably be better off somewhere else. What they gave you is great for them. Imagine how you'd feel if you invited a Thai into your home in the USA or UK and they point blank refused to even try a medium-rare Chateaubriand and a glass of French red wine?

Edited by SteveK
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