How are your half thai-half farang offspring?

[lust]

I’m looking for some tips/insight. 
 

 I have a 4 year old half thai, half Canadian son who thinks he’s an English speaking Canadian. He follows me around like he’s my shadow and prefers to be with me over his mom. I’m trying to get him to embrace his 1/2 thai ethnicity and he’s not having any of it. 
 

when we see thai people, he’s not interested in talking with them. He will just say to me, they don’t speak English. When we watch tv, it has to be English, same with music. 
 

is anyone else’s kids like this? How do I get him to accept he is thai? Hah. Such a silly thread...

[FruitPudding]

Yeah, my kid is like this.

 

That's what happens when they are called "farang", "farang noi", and " luk krung" by the locals. 

 

They grow up believing they aren't Thai.

[BritManToo]

20 minutes ago, lust said:

is anyone else’s kids like this?

Mine too, he's eight years old, refuses to talk to his schoolteacher in Thai (government school).

Watches Youtube English games and cartoons, speaks to the rest of the family in English.

He can speak several flavours of Thai if forced, but just doesn't want to.

Edited December 26, 2019 by BritManToo

[nikmar]

mine can and does speak English - mostly with me, but he ll enthusiastically speak with westerners given the chance - but all his friends are Thai so it's Thai TV, Thai stuff on Youtube an so forth. Also, he enjoys learning Muay Thai and cooking , all instruction in Thai.

 

He will say though that he relates to Christianity over Buddhism ( not sure why. ive never encouraged him to be Christian) and he supports the English Football team whilst, strangely, ignoring the Thai national team. 

 

I am aware that he gets teased a bit at school as the foriegn English teacher uses him as a translator.

 

He is who he is!

 

 

[FritsSikkink]

Parents fault, let them talk Thai to the wife / girlfriend. A 4 year old doesn't decide what is on TV. If he doesn't speak Thai at his teacher tell him off. You all just let it happen. 

[lust]

6 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Parents fault, let them talk Thai to the wife / girlfriend. A 4 year old doesn't decide what is on TV. If he doesn't speak Thai at his teacher tell him off. You all just let it happen. 

Parents fault? Please explain the fault. He can speak thai, he just prefers English. 
 

 My son attends a bilingual school. His curriculum is 50%, thai 50% English. 

[tabarin]

Most of my friends kids are like described above.

 

Pretty sure my son is going in the same direction, I have to leave the house if I want to get anything done, else he prefers to be with me the entire time. Even he is just a year old soon. 

Also what being said about the kid being called farang noi, luk khrung etc is really true, happens daily in our village and I could imagine that it eventually makes him feel and like to be the foreigner rather than Thai.

 

Guess the only way this will not happen is if I get out of the picture. Many half Thais I know that are already 20s and 30s also all prefer to speak their fathers country language and English. Some still only speak 50% Thai.

I have also seen this with quite some International kids who are 100% Thai, they prefer speaking English, western culture, friends and food. Often move abroad later on if getting a chance.

Guess my answer to you is; be happy with it, better than staying ignorant Thai.
Not so much culture in that except for the basics.

Edited December 26, 2019 by tabarin

[BritManToo]

48 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

A 4 year old doesn't decide what is on TV.

Why not, my kid has been able to navigate youtube since he was 4.

Most households have more than one TV (I have a 60" in the living room and a 55" in the bedroom).

Only him and me use them.

Edited December 26, 2019 by BritManToo

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, lust said:

He can speak thai, he just prefers English. 
 

 My son attends a bilingual school. His curriculum is 50%, thai 50% English. 

That is good, you just need to explain to him it is good to know and be from 2 different cultures, it will enrich his life.

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Why not, my kid has been able to navigate youtube since he was 4.

Most households have more than one TV (I have a 60" in the living room and a 55" in the bedroom).

Only him and me use them.

Nothing to do with ability. Your kid has an attitude problem towards his teacher. You are the one who needs to correct that. One of the possible solutions is to let him watch Thai TV too instead of giving in and let him only choose English programs.

[Pilotman]

I Have a mixed race, Thai/British daughter, 21 years old now and living in the UK. We took particular pains to ensure that she strayed in touch with her Thai culture and heritage and she visits often and speaks fluent Thai and Issan. However, as she has finished her university education and seen how I am having to jump through stupid hoops here, and she has interacted with some of the bureaucracy and people, as we all do, she has become more and more disenchanted and indifferent to Thailand. In effect Thailand has lost her, as they treat her as more farang than Thai, so she is now acting that way. She has travelled the World with us, lived when she was young in other Asian countries and seen how they develop and live their lives  If her Mum and me did not live here,  and when we and her grandparents pass away, I doubt she will ever bother to come back. If asked, she will say she is British and leave it at that, actually she would probably say English.  Shame really. 

[473geo]

Interesting thread, you guys with the young kids, do they have any older siblings and if so how do they interact with them?

[Pilotman]

3 hours ago, FruitPudding said:

Yeah, my kid is like this.

 

That's what happens when they are called "farang", "farang noi", and " luk krung" by the locals. 

 

They grow up believing they aren't Thai.

correct.  

[Pilotman]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Mine too, he's eight years old, refuses to talk to his schoolteacher in Thai (government school).

Watches Youtube English games and cartoons, speaks to the rest of the family in English.

He can speak several flavours of Thai if forced, but just doesn't want to.

and he will not suffer in life for that, which he probably knows already. 

[Pilotman]

13 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Interesting thread, you guys with the young kids, do they have any older siblings and if so how do they interact with them?

My daughter has two older siblings from my first marriage (their Mother died of cancer).  There is not a cigarette paper between then in terms of how they interrelate together and view themselves. Interesting, the older two voted Remain, the youngest voted Leave.  Such is the perception of 'Nationality'. 

[Yinn]

3 hours ago, FruitPudding said:

Yeah, my kid is like this.

 

That's what happens when they are called "farang", "farang noi", and " luk krung" by the locals. 

 

They grow up believing they aren't Thai.

many successful model, tv actor actress, singer is look krung in thailand.

so many. 

[FritsSikkink]

3 hours ago, FruitPudding said:

Yeah, my kid is like this.

 

That's what happens when they are called "farang", "farang noi", and " luk krung" by the locals. 

 

They grow up believing they aren't Thai.

Only if their parents don't educate them on that.

[FritsSikkink]

27 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Interesting thread, you guys with the young kids, do they have any older siblings and if so how do they interact with them?

They speak Thai.

[FritsSikkink]

10 minutes ago, Yinn said:

many successful model, tv actor actress, singer is look krung in thailand.

so many. 

These people are so obsessed by their own "superior" nationality that they don't learn much about other cultures. A lot of them haven't been very successful in live themselves so they need to cling on to something else.

[473geo]

I explained to my son being Luk krung means when he lives in Thailand he is Thai, When he lives in England he can be English

 

As he has only lived in Thailand he is Thai with a farang Papa

 

My sub plot is to remain just an ordinary everyday guy, who loves his family, is seen to be a good husband and father and thus does not attract derogatory comments from the locals that may make him think having a farang father is rather unfortunate

 

 

[rumak]

a friend of mine has a thai, canadian daughter.   great kid .... 

can speak and read both languages but prefers English

 

[donnacha]

In a deeply hierarchical society, Luk khrueng have their own special level. While not without some complications, it is undoubtedly an advantage overall, even setting aside the financial and educational advantages that the child is likely to have benefitted from if their farang parent stuck around to help raise them.

The main advantage a farang parent can give is the worldly perspective that the vast majority of Thais lack, along with higher aspirations.

YouTube, and the rise of Internet more generally, mean that such kids, already identifying with English, can have massive, self-driven exposure to English early on.

If a farang parent wants to give them a truly valuable, life-long boost, make sure they can read and write fluently in English too, not just speak it.

Don't make the mistake of presuming their school will handle that, even one you are paying a fortune for, they are pretty much all rubbish. Equipping your kid with native-level spoken and written English will, along with the Internet, allow a bright kid to route around most of the deficiencies in the Thai educational system.

Later, the social pressure of fitting in with their friends will ensure that their Thai language skills catch up, but that early grasp of English will be their biggest advantage in life, even if they end up based in Thailand.

Back in the West, well-educated, well-socialized kids of mixed ethnicity have a sizable advantage too. Pretty much every employer, university, grant-awarding body, political party, TV show etc are desperate to demonstrate their diversity, and they know that mixed race kids raised party abroad usually perform far better and come with less baggage than minority kids raised in the West.

In a way, Luk khrueng kids have the world on a plate, they really just need to avoid the dangerous teen phase of overcompensating by becoming even more "skoi" than their Thai friends. We have seen quite a few cases of Luk khrueng kids going off the rails in spectacular fashion, but I suspect in those cases that the father left the picture early on in their lives.

 

Edited December 26, 2019 by donnacha

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

They speak Thai.

No German?

[otherstuff1957]

About 10% of the kids in my school are 1/2 foreign, so I have seen quite a few mixed kids grow up.  I would say that you really cannot generalize.  Many are more foreign than Thai, a fair number are truly bilingual and effortless slip from Thai to English in both their speech and manners, and a few are more comfortable speaking Thai and have all Thai friends.

 

One thing that I would emphasize to a foreign parent, is to speak English with them all the time.  They will learn Thai naturally from their friends/mother/school, but if you speak to them in Thai (or do not speak to them at all) you are throwing away a big advantage that they will have later in life.  I have known a few sad cases of luk kreungs who had to struggle to learn English later in life, in order to get ahead at work, because their father was either absent or simple thought that they were Thai and did not need to speak English.

[GinBoy2]

My son is now an adult so all of the teenage angst is long behind him.

 

He was born in Singapore and we didn't move to Thailand until he was about to enter Middle School.

 

So he speaks fluent English, Thai & Lao so language was never an issue, but he was a fish out of water culturally.

 

His first language since all his formative years were in Singapore is English, and he thinks like a Singaporean. That made school in Thailand really tough for him.

 

So between looking Luk Keung, and him thinking differently to his school peers made him the odd ball, which for any kid in High School in any country, is never easy.

 

So he was kinda lost socially for a few years and didn't really find his footing again until he went to college in the US, where he now lives.

 

We've talked about this over the years, and while bullied isn't the right term, he was certainly made to feel different by his peers

[FritsSikkink]

5 hours ago, BritManToo said:

No German?

Why should they? I am not German. Better focus on the education of your child here and your relationship with your family in the UK. 

Edited December 26, 2019 by FritsSikkink

[473geo]

Well current teacher made a point of telling us my son is really sociable and gets on well with all his classmates, so that put my mind at rest, He seems to be doing okay for now

[kwonitoy]

8 year old Thai Canadian son here.

switches back and forth from thai to english with an ability that floors me.

English to me, second later it's high speed thai to the nanny.

More problem with Thai people that don't think he can speak thai because he looks about 90% like me.

 

One time in the mall he got confused because some old farang was trying to speak gibberish thai to him and he turned to me and asked " what's wrong with that guy "

[bermondburi]

Interesting topic and there isn't going to be one definitive answer. 

 

A lot of factors at play such as language input from the parents, location, friends, culture etc. 

 

I have two teenagers and my own experience was that my kids didn't speak English till after 4 years old. They always understood it but just didn't speak it. This was growing up in Nonthaburi so not many foreigners around. 

 

We left Thailand when they were 5 and 6 to move to Saudi. This was the turning point. Although we soon got into the Thai community in Riyadh, very few of the half thai kids spoke Thai, so everything was in English. Compound parties with all the kids playing together really improved their English. 

 

In time English became their first language over thai. They moved back to Thailand over a year ago now. They're having to learn to read and write Thai properly which they didn't do before. Spoken Thai the accent is fine but they don't know all the words and misunderstand sometimes. 

 

English is spoken with a mild American accent which amuses me. I'm not a septic so they don't get the accent from me. 

 

Anything they watch on YouTube will be in English and all their conversations with friends are in English. But they watch some Thai TV with mum and speak with her in Thai. 

 

IME the best thing for the English was to leave Thailand. I can really notice the difference between how my two speak English and kids who remained in Thailand. Of course a lot depends on the schools they go to, but not everyone can afford the huge school fees for a real international school. 

 

 

[stephen tracy]

Wow! An actual interesting thread on TV. I don't even have kids but this is really insightful.