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Don't move your Thai wife to the West if you want to come back .

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28 minutes ago, fordguy61mi said:

I brought my Thai wife here to the US and we’re going to Thailand to live in 4 years when I retire. My pension will go a lot farther there and our quality of life will be far better. She hasn’t put up much of a fuss and she knows I’ll go whether she does or not and since I’m the gravy train she’ll go. Maybe the mistake you made was making her too independent. Either way, good luck to you.

She will go because your the gravy chain!! Quite a sad post actually if that is how you think about your wife. 

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On 1/18/2020 at 3:49 PM, HuskerDo said:

"Give Thai people a chance and they excel"...….

 

The better way to say it is "give nearly anyone a chance and they will excel". Especially if they came from a poor background. I think your wife's story, in itself, is something folks wanting to move to Thailand should consider. Why do so many want to move to Thailand when so many there want to move to a better life in the west. I guess it's thinking the grass is greener on the other side. If folks in the west would handle their finances better and invest better during their working years there would be no reason to move overseas.

Climate.. I come from UK originally.. Winters suck.. 

 

I am now spending more time in the west than the east, some with the wife some alone.. We have dogs and a heavy footprint in Thailand that is hard to escape from and I like to winter here at the very least.. I can see a time when a bolt hole in S Europe for half a year and N Thailand for half a year is probably my preferred outcome.

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On 1/18/2020 at 8:45 PM, sirineou said:

I am not sure if taking a girl out of thailand is like taking a fish out of water is correct. We know several thai couple and as far as I can tell they all seem to thrive. for two of the couples the wife males more money than the Husband, One is a Hairdresser for the Hair cuttery and makes crazy money, the other got a job a seamstress at a parachute factory, and now runs the whole place, wants my wife to go work there, This little Thai  girl jumps out of planes!!! They are required to jump out of the plane with their product, I guess you do a real good job if you are required to use it on yourself LOL

Point made, Give Thai people a chance and they excel.  But that's not good for for me, I love Thailand , I want to be there.

   

Anecdotal evidence is no substitute for reality. The majority of wives taken to the west don’t have great qualifications or where they do they are not relevant to a decent job and their written English is poor due to the education system.Most will be doing menial work. I saw none in uk that had done anything special. The only exception was my stepdaughter whom I brought to UK at 9 and ended up with a good economics degree and subsequent job in commerce. 

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On 1/18/2020 at 2:18 PM, sirineou said:

Any way, just wanted to make that warning, you bring her here, you might not be able to peel her away. 

It's often the other way round, the only thing the Thai ladies dream bout is returning home; however some years of work is Okay, so they return with a pile of nice money.

 

But perhaps sunny Florida is more attractive the cold northern Europen countries...🤔

Edited by khunPer
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On 1/18/2020 at 9:38 PM, tgw said:

it always depends on the money.

it takes much more money to feel comfortable in the West than in Thailand.

of course if you make enough to spend with not too many restrictions, why go back ??

 

I know Thai ladies that are in Germany and Switzerland where the husband earns an average income, not one of them wants to stay.

There are just too many restrictions in personal liberties and the "price of doing something" is way too high.

 

In Switzerland, I was in the top 1% earners, but spending about 25% of my income on a mortgage for a 3 bedroom house would have taken 40 years to pay it off. So I left.

 

And for the little things, the transportation pass for Zürich costs about 24000 baht per year, 3 very small cokes, a portion of fries and a couple of sausages in the Swimming pool, 2000 baht. Large communal outdoor pool, the water is icy, must at around 20 or 22 °C.

When sightseeing with the kids in the mountains, all roads have fences so you can't stop the car without blocking the road, and there are stops every 1 or 2 Km... except they are mostly all full.

 

Without a large amount of money, Switzerland is hell.

We're in a very similar situation. We sold our (now overlarge with no children) house 20km outside Zurich last summer and our main base now is Chiang Mai. I'm on a contract in Singapore (maybe until middle of the year, maybe end) and my wife bitched about being in Thailand in rainy season (even though she spent every winter in TH and we used to go on holiday in July/August because of strict Swiss school rules). The cost of even a basic apartment and getting yet another car (that sits idle and/or empty six months of the year) would be at least 2-3 thousand francs a month (six months of which are wasted) not to mention the horrendous cost of living in CH - I reckon it would be far cheaper just to travel around three months of the year staying in hotels (and friends if possible) and rent a car would be far far cheaper - plus more interesting. Assuming we can go anywhere with a British passport then.

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1 hour ago, LivinLOS said:

.. We have dogs

So you basically let dogs control your life and where you live?

This is one of those unbelievable accumulations 

tying people down to a place.

Makes no sense to me.  Come here and accumulate a bunch of western type possesions/things/animals and find yourself stuck.

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On 1/18/2020 at 8:55 PM, Kwasaki said:

No, my wife wanted to go back Thailand after her being in Uk for 2 & 1/2 years she wanted to be back with her family. 

Same here when I brought my wife to Australia, she loved it but after awhile missed her family too much so I packed up everything and moved here, never looked back since.

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My wife lived and worked in Australia for 10+yrs, came back to Thailand for opportunity to do her own business, but was never obsessed about getting back, under different circumstances she would have happily stayed.

Regarding your predicament, why not keep both places and split your time between countries, cherry picking the best weather etc...that's what I'm planning in retirement

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34 minutes ago, nglodnig said:

We're in a very similar situation. We sold our (now overlarge with no children) house 20km outside Zurich last summer and our main base now is Chiang Mai. I'm on a contract in Singapore (maybe until middle of the year, maybe end) and my wife bitched about being in Thailand in rainy season (even though she spent every winter in TH and we used to go on holiday in July/August because of strict Swiss school rules). The cost of even a basic apartment and getting yet another car (that sits idle and/or empty six months of the year) would be at least 2-3 thousand francs a month (six months of which are wasted) not to mention the horrendous cost of living in CH - I reckon it would be far cheaper just to travel around three months of the year staying in hotels (and friends if possible) and rent a car would be far far cheaper - plus more interesting. Assuming we can go anywhere with a British passport then.

I agree with what you write, many people do not realize that things are what make us slaves, a house, a car, dogs, the good question and we are free or more stupid. Now I understand that for those who can afford it, it is better to have a home without debt, but two houses as I see many coming to Thailand for a couple of months I find completely stupid, with this money you can go to the best hotels not only in Thailand and make yours life much more interesting.

 

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On 1/19/2020 at 12:18 AM, sirineou said:

I don't blame her, she is making good money here

There is the problem in my opinion. I took my wife back to Sydney Australia for 9 years, but the discussion went like this, I work, I support you financially, meaning you do not have to work, and you support me by staying home.

 

I don't like both the husband and wife working, been there, done that, causes stress in the relationship in my opinion, call me old fashioned, but if your on a good wicket and can afford to have the wife stay at home to take care of things in that department, and she is so inclined, then it's all and good and she loved it and continues to love it, she is not a slave by far, but enjoys being free to do her gardening, cooking etc, chores happen when they happen, no pressure, as long as the kids are fed, clothed and dropped to school, and dad gets a serve during lunch every now and again and some dessert after dinner every now and again, then it's all and good, I mean when both couples work, who has time for anything, and who is even thinking about sex ? 

 

On 1/19/2020 at 12:18 AM, sirineou said:

Even knowing what I know now, I still would have brought her here , I love my wife and I would want her to become a citizen for when I am gone, but I can't help but think that I made a mistake

Perhaps you did make a mistake, you see in my opinion, as soon as a woman starts working, she has her independence, i.e. she doesn't quite require you to support her, she doesn't need to depend on you, as I said above, depends on what you agreed on in the beginning, money isn't everything, but it sure does change things in a relationship.

 

On 1/19/2020 at 12:18 AM, sirineou said:

Any way, just wanted to make that warning, you bring her here, you might not be able to peel her away.

We agreed from the outset in 2007, we move to Sydney for 9 years until I retire then we move to Thailand, build a house and chill out, our discussion and plans did not change, we are both happy that everything has worked out, as for returning, well, depends what Thailand has instal next as things have been changing and the air is getting worse, so we will just stick with our plan and if plan B and C have to come into effect, thanks Thailand, it was good while it lasted, but as the old saying goes, nothing is forever.

 

The above said, the only warning you need is to make sure you plan and agree and stick to the plan that suits you, but as soon as you start changing plans or reneging on things and putting money before your relationship, well, what is it 3 out of 4 marriages go south ?

 

For anyone thinking I turned my wife into a slave, up to you, her time with me has been quite regarding for her and she has her independence financially if she sells up all the land she purchased while supporting me over the years, plus the big payday when I am gone.

 

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52 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

So you basically let dogs control your life and where you live?

This is one of those unbelievable accumulations 

tying people down to a place.

Makes no sense to me.  Come here and accumulate a bunch of western type possesions/things/animals and find yourself stuck.

Hell yeah my dogs well being is a huge deal to me.. My loyal little buddy will be taken absolute care of his entire life.. My dogs are family. 

I dont treat pets like some disposable item, he (they) trust me and I will not break that commitment for even huge sums (I can earn a mil a year in the west if I try).. I can of course relocate them all to the west but then I would have the same issue being back.. For now I want to make the most of both worlds. 

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In your story you say she became a US citizen than in the end you say you want her to become a US citizen.  Not nice to make things up and lie. 

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have stayed in Thailand 18 years yes it,s changed but i know my wife would not stay anywhere else.😁

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