The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand calling! Where's "Spitting Image" when it's needed!?

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand calling! Where's "Spitting Image" when it's needed!?

 

 

It was announced towards the tail end of last year that the UK's groundbreaking satirical puppet show Spitting Image is soon to make a return to our screens, possibly via America.

 

Not before time but it is not just the western world who would benefit from a healthy injection of biting satire. Thailand desperately needs you too!

 

The show ran on ITV in the UK from 1984 to 1996. If you are not British of a certain age I suggest that you do some YouTube searches to get the idea. Suffice to say that everyone was fair game for creators Roger Law and Peter Fluck and their grotesque caricatures. Margaret Thatcher was a strident harridan, her cabinet mostly sycophantic vegetables, Ronald Reagan was a cowboy who had his finger on the nuclear button but didn't quite know why. He and Maggie were in love drooling over each other like a pair of dumb teens.

 

One of my favorite Spitting Image sketches featured then Israeli prime minister Yitzhak Shamir who was portrayed as a contestant on the iconic and high brow Mastermind quiz show. Icelandic quiz master Magnus Magnusson (yes that was his real name) requested the PM's name, as per the script, then asked for his occupation:

 

"The West Bank and Gaza" came back the deadpan reply!

 

Songs aplenty delighted the dedicated viewers, my favorite being "I've New Met a Nice South African". But every nationality came in for the treatment, especially anyone British.

 

Even the British Royal family didn't escape - in fact they were stars. The Queen Mother was a gin swilling alcoholic and Charles' ears filled the screen perfectly! Well, my news editor always said that palace insiders called him Wing Nut.

 

It struck me this week  - the Thai Royal family obviously aside - that there is ample scope for a Spitting Image style show in Thailand. How popular it would be and how angry would it make the elites.

 

Of course we would have to accept the possibility of the producers' personal liberty being under threat. But imagine Uncle Too and co. on our screens being ripped to shreds. The possibilities would be endless.

 

Here would be Prayut resplendent in khaki underpants barely concealed by a business suit "Made in China". There would be "ol' Fatty" selling watches delivered to him by his mate "The Big Joker", the latter dressed in a sari complete with bullet holes and knives in the back.

 

Health minister Anutin could appear as an evil doctor determined to rid Thailand of "Freakenstein Farangs" with the aid of Big Oud and his Camberwick Green toy smart car, complete with onboard abacus to work out the length of overstays.

 

Immigration chief Sompong could be portrayed like David Walliams' brilliant creation of Ian Foot in 'Come Fly With Me'. The fanatical front line officer's memorable catchphrase was: "If in doubt, keep 'em out". His mug had a Union Jack on it and when a well-spoken black woman suggested she was from Liberia he pooh-poohed the whole idea that such a country existed.

 

Big Peh - RTP chief Chakthip whose exploits at Terminal 21 in Korat brought a renewed appreciation - could be a franchisee for Dunkin Donuts aided and abetted by the army chief in selling war weapons. Under the counter M-16s for any member of the public who might need them for making withdrawals at the nation's gold shops.

 

Imagine Musk Melon with a mini-sub protruding from his rear end and a smiling Vern Unsworth giggling as he escapes into a darkened cave followed by a Netflix film crew being given a healthy backhander by some unnamed Thai official.

 

Tourism minister Pipat could just play himself. A puppet.

 

While satire is invariably found in all its finery in the land of my birth, Thailand is not averse to having a pretty serious dig, though the ability to get away with it remains a moot point. A very popular Facebook cartoon without words appeared between 2016 and 2018. "Kai Maew" (or cartooneggcat). The identities of the lampooning were hardly a secret.

 

There was Jack Maew always pulling the strings who had a head shaped remarkable like a deposed PM and a 'General" in charge ably supported by "No 2". The metropolitan police chief at the time, Sanit Mahathavorn, was easy as pie to ridicule especially after denying his precise involvement with a certain beverage company.

 

One of the best characters was "Rooster Boy" (no relation I might add) whose only job was to tell whopping lies. He had an uncanny resemblance to a government spokesman of the time.

 

Mainstream Thai print media has always had long running resident cartoonists who poked fun at the ample supply of satirical fodder. One such was - and remains - Chai Ratchawat of Thai Rath fame. Apart from his biting cartoons he also drew His Late Majesty in the cartoon version of The Story of Tongdaeng about the king's adopted soi dog. He showed the great man in white silhouette out of respect.

 

Around the turn of the century I invited Khun Chai to my school to talk to a class of Year 6 students who were studying the Tongdaeng story in my Thai culture classes. My word he was inspiring. The modest and forthright man captivated my class and left me with a wonderful gift - a huge cartoon he drew in minutes of Thaksin shaking hands with another former PM Chuan Leekpai.

 

To my eternal chagrin, the beautiful framed work was stolen some years later when we moved campuses.

 

I had been put in touch with Khun Chai by a Year 6 boy who was related to the Thai Rath hierarchy. It was said that the child's mother was "holding up the expressway", a fate in concrete that might make Thais who are too overtly critical think again!

 

Satirical cartoons have appeared on TV but were relatively short-lived. It is certainly not that Thais don't "get" satire. They happen to love it though it has to be a version that is palatable to Thai tastes. Being too nasty is usually off limits.

 

That was one of the reasons why the Thai game show "Gamjat Jut Orn" wasn't really understood. It was based on the worldwide hit  "The Weakest Link" that in the UK featured acerbic presenter Anne Robinson in a BBC run from 2000 to 2017. The Thai presenter and the shows contestants couldn't stand being that unpleasant to each other!

 

It lasted less than a year in Thailand.

 

It was the Thai politicians, a weakest link if ever there was one, who took a leading role this week in being unpleasant. Following the Constitutional Court's scandalous decision regarding the Future Forward Party's loan, Anutin Charnvirakul took advantage of the situation - some allege financially - by welcoming nine FFP defectors into his Bhumjaithai camp.

 

It was not missed on this columnist, or indeed English print media in the kingdom, that this move strengthens the position of Anutin in bidding to be the next Prime Minister. Methinks that the Thaivisa curmudgeons may soon have an overwhelming favorite for their scorn after the health minister and DPM's rant against a foreigner who wouldn't take a face mask the other week.

 

(Incidentally I may presently replace the word curmudgeon with a longer phrase after seeing David Squires' brilliant condemnation of the VAR system being used in the English Premier League; his attack in the Grauniad  on "angry man on the Internet" was priceless and is well worth a perusal especially for those who understand football issues and relish the wit of Blighty satire).

 

Uncle Too was under attack all week in the No Confidence Debate. What I found miraculous was that Prawit - and everybody else in the dreary house - actually managed to stay awake. Maybe he's borrowed a new chronometer with an intermittent electric shock function that pings pulses to his chubby wrist.

 

An FFP spokeswoman also suggested that several senior government figures should explain themselves in relation to Malaysia's 1MDB scandal that brought down Najib Razak and led to the return of veteran Mahathir bin Mohamad who himself resigned this week.

 

While understanding Thai politics is not Rooster's strong point I must admit that when compared to grasping the shenanigans of our southern neighbor it often seems like a walk in Lumpini park. Rather shady due to the smog but still possible to appreciate some of the main features of the landscape.

 

Hapless Pipat got the full treatment on the forum and Facebook arm of Thaivisa for suggesting that the coronavirus would be blown away by the heat of Songkran. While the wording of the English translation of his comments uttered in Phattalung made the tourism minister "wipe for widicule" there was some method in his madness as the virus seems, like most fluey entities, to prefer the cold.

 

The trouble with Pipat and his buddies at the TAT is that repeated gaffes mean nothing they say can be trusted. The same goes for the health department who are now viewed as simpletons by a know-it-all public convinced that every conspiracy theory has equal merit. I stand by statements that the Thais are doing a good job vis-a-vis the virus in extremely trying circumstances.

 

At least they are doing no worse than Trump. The POTUS put his own Puppet Pence in charge this week.

 

It remains to be seen what the true global fallout will be from Covid-19 but bans by middle eastern countries like the UAE on travel to Thailand are not helpful. I hope the Thais remember that when it's all blown over just as I hope that Thailand resists the current worldwide tendency for overreaction.

 

Doom and gloom stories about the impact on Thai tourism continued apace. Here at Thaivisa we are as bored as anyone with the repetitiveness of the stories but I am afraid that each time they appear the server is strained to breaking point. My editor told me to expect more to translate.

 

In Kamphaeng Phet plod were called after the locals found a foreigner stuffed in a suitcase who appeared to have been tossed into the Ping River from a bridge. It soon emerged that the victim was a Chinese man who had stayed in Pattaya with a group of his countrymen. Their movements were described as "not normal" that left the reader, and the sleuths of Thaivisa, hanging.

 

As always, many lighthearted stories kept our peckers up with most involving a very serious subject in Thailand....one's motor car.

 

Up in arms all over the land were customers who had bought Chevrolets at full price before the company cut their prices in half. They issued a press release that amounted to telling Joe public "som nam na" (serves you right). That was also the tone of an insurance assessor in Buriram who was at pleasurable pains to point out that a Mercedes Benz driving woman would not be covered for damage after hitting and killing a cow.

 

Finally, immigration's BMW smart car took a back seat this week as more pertinent matters arose during the arrest of a US man and his Hungarian partner on overstay at an Ao Nang, Krabi, hotel.

 

The couple were caught 'in flagrante delicto' making a porn movie in their room. Their shame could barely be hidden but at least Rooster did the right thing and ever so slightly altered the gent's name to protect his identity.

 

Mr Reddick fit the bill nicely.

 

Rooster

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2020-02-29

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[FarFlungFalang]

I trust you saw the biting humour in my reply to one of your posts about school closures and thought you might have had a laugh if I added the phrase cumb dunt but decided against it as I was too late for the edit button.Always been a fan of satire and even enjoyed a little known American show called Soap.Thanks for another weekly waffle.

[chickenslegs]

In another thread, 2 women are facing possible imprisonment for superimposing other faces onto photographs of statues of Phuket heroines who died 400 years ago.

What are the chances of a "Spitting Image" style show being permitted in Thailand (rhetorical question).

[Yorkshire Tea]

Spitting Image?  Impossible here in Thailand ????

[Puchaiyank]

It would be great to add some humor to all the Thailand termoil. 

 

Just be careful so as not to poke fun at the Royal Family, PM, dysfunctional government, defunct school system, treatment of tourists, lack of safe public transportation, road closures for years, over-pricing for foreigners at most every venue especially hospitals, RIP-offs at bars, dirty public beaches, and totally unregulated and unhealthy street food.

 

So go and have some fun!  ????

 

 

[PatOngo]

13 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Even the British Royal family didn't escape - in fact they were stars.

Fortunately you weren't subject to draconian lesse majeste laws that put you away for 15 years for a mere mention!

[PatOngo]

13 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Thais don't "get" satire.

They just don't have the right nack! Sometimes I even wonder if they have the left one either!

[bluesofa]

14 hours ago, rooster59 said:

condemnation of the VAR system being used in the English Premier League; his attack in the Grauniad  on "angry man on the Internet" was priceless

It's years since I heard the phrase 'The Grauniad'!

A reference to the UK newspaper The Guardian, which decades ago was renowned for the high number of misprits misprints.

The satirical magazine Private Eye always referred to it as The Grauniad, I think it might have been them who coined the phrase?

 

 

14 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Suffice to say that everyone was fair game for creators Roger Law and Peter Fluck and their grotesque caricatures. Margaret Thatcher was a strident harridan, her cabinet mostly sycophantic vegetables,

That reference to vegetables instantly reminded me of this clip, when Maggie took the cabinet out to lunch:

 

[worgeordie]

The Political elite don't like being laughed at 

so it could never happen here,loss of Face

would just be too much, that been said

Prawit would be perfect,falling asleep

counting his watches.  PS, I meant his dead friends watches,don't want to be sued.

regards Worgeordie

Edited March 1, 2020 by worgeordie

[Andrew Dwyer]

Spitting Image was great !!, groundbreaking stuff, but for obvious reasons won’t happen here.

 

Politicians, the British Royal Family, and favourites of the era ( Frank Bruno, Roger Moore etc ) all got the Michael extracted.

 

Arthur Scargill was a particular favourite.

[spiekerjozef]

No more spitting since the chinese left.

[bluesofa]

43 minutes ago, spiekerjozef said:

No more spitting since the chinese left.

You're not supposed to do it in China.
I bet there's no fine for spitting in Thailand though.

[Andyfez]

I loved your 'rear-end' comment in the BMW/cow article.

All the usual shining wits seemed to miss the point.

[spiekerjozef]

1 hour ago, bluesofa said:

You're not supposed to do it in China.

So it's alright for them do to it everywhere else...

Edited March 1, 2020 by spiekerjozef

[bluesofa]

17 minutes ago, Andyfez said:

I loved your 'rear-end' comment in the BMW/cow article.

All the usual shining wits seemed to miss the point.

Thanks.

'shining wits' - I can see you're a fan of the Rev W.A. Spooner.

 

[bluesofa]

19 minutes ago, spiekerjozef said:

1 hour ago, bluesofa said:

You're not supposed to do it in China.

So it's alright for them do to it everywhere else...

As long as you're Chinese, yes.

 

Edited March 1, 2020 by bluesofa

[sawadee1947]

When I started to read it was the same old stuff from your past. 

However then it turned to be interesting giving some information about Thai matters which not everybody knew already. 

Thanks.....this time. ????

[Ddbanksy]

17 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

It would be great to add some humor to all the Thailand termoil. 

 

Just be careful so as not to poke fun at the Royal Family, PM, dysfunctional government, defunct school system, treatment of tourists, lack of safe public transportation, road closures for years, over-pricing for foreigners at most every venue especially hospitals, RIP-offs at bars, dirty public beaches, and totally unregulated and unhealthy street food.

 

So go and have some fun!  ????

 

 

Love it,great idea

Thai elite's wouldn't get it anyway

"No point knocking if there's no one in"!!!

[khunken]

Excellent piece this week Rooster. The Spitting Image clip I've always remembered is when the US invaded Grenada & a soldier asks a local 'What are you?', the reply being 'I'm a Librarian'. The soldier then says 'Why don't you go back to Libraria'.

Also loved the VAR mention which I had to see on the Grauniad site.

[Stargeezr]

My question for the wise TAT, and government leaders is, "Why are you idiots still

forcing the vendors on Thailands beaches to be closed on Wednesdays?"  The tourists

that are here on Thailand, even with the Corona virus around, get upset by your ridiculous

rule.   Would at least a few of you find enough brains to get the beaches open 7 days a week for the tourists, travellers, locals, and even the expats? How hard is it for all of you to not realize

how stupid it is to close the beaches, period!  My rant is over, but I get upset over this and

other stupid rules that are still foolishly being enforced.

Geezer

[lamyai3]

On 2/29/2020 at 4:46 PM, rooster59 said:

Icelandic quiz master Magnus Magnusson (yes that was his real name) requested the PM's name, as per the script, then asked for his occupation:

 

"The West Bank and Gaza" came back the deadpan reply!

For those unfamiliar with this iconic presenter, he looks a lot like him:

 

 

[tifino]

On 3/1/2020 at 2:43 PM, bluesofa said:

You're not supposed to do it in China.
I bet there's no fine for spitting in Thailand though.

... as maybe BetelNut Chewing is more prolific amongst the Chinese? 

 

 

 

  but puuing on the footpath is AoK 

 

[brianthainess]

On 3/1/2020 at 10:43 AM, bluesofa said:

You're not supposed to do it in China.
I bet there's no fine for spitting in Thailand though.

Back in '88 i was in Beijing, even then pollution was enough, to once make me spit, a whistle blew and i was issued a ticket and fined, fined also for scooting a bike through a pedestrian subway instead of walking with it. 

[overherebc]

On 3/1/2020 at 12:14 PM, bluesofa said:

Thanks.

'shining wits' - I can see you're a fan of the Rev W.A. Spooner.

 

Sometimes shafts of wit do shine through.

[overherebc]

Must be a place for Kenny Everett's  Cupid Stunt ??

[lamyai3]

8 hours ago, overherebc said:

Must be a place for Kenny Everett's Cupid Stunt ?? 

Four decades later he'd have won the Eurovision song contest. 

 

Edited March 6, 2020 by lamyai3

[Jillie Norman]

The news is quite intriguing!