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why can't people stay alone ?


soalbundy

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Wife and I are at the end of week 1 self-isolating and so far it's been relatively easy. In fact neither of us work so it's not that different from before COVID.

 

The main issue we both have is the ignorance that surrounds us, locals just not 'getting it'. It's not only frustrating, it increases risk to us. At 65 and ticking all 3 'vulnerable' conditions, we are not messing about.

 

These vary from genuinely unaware people, village idiots (including the local drunks) and denyers who scoff saying it will never reach here, refusing to wear masks etc.

 

Gets better each day but I fear it will take a village death to chase the non-believers back to their homes and stay there.

 

I have also been thinking about how long we can keep this isolation up. As long as we can get food and water I'd say a very long time, naybe a year or more which will be no fun. I feel like my 'vulnerable' status will never go away as long as someone is walking about while infected but asymptomatic.

 

Stay safe everyone.

Edited by Saltire
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A day of silent meditation can be a profound experience for many... there are 10 day silent meditation seminars... which apparently are quite challenging...

 

and yes, people do enjoy their chit chat and maybe for me, part of being older is getting easily bored with the repetition... I seem to do ok alone. 

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Being alone is luxury and hard to give up. There is a moment on and off yearning for companionship but just imagining someone else except me in the room forewarns me not to give up that luxury. So it's been years going through bouncing back and forth since my only wife's passing away. The irony is I didn't have sour relationship with my late wife and we deeply loved each other unlike anyone who goes through hostile divorce. 

 

I couldn't take chatting 3 hours with one I just found and connected last night. So I disconnected phone and blocked her. But I felt loneliness already and started looking for one again. Why do women have to talk on the phone constantly? I wish I find someone who can be together without talking each other for hours and days but emotionally still attached. Maybe I am a psycho.    

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28 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

You are right, of course, i am more lucky than many, the beach, now deserted, is 100 m. away, and i have a little garden and everything i need.

Perhaps i worry more for the millions who are having it really tough now, and it's only a matter of time before it will start to affect all of us.

But, as you say, let's try to keep positive, there's still hope.

That beach thing is pathetic... What is it actually good for? 

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16 minutes ago, Tchooptip said:

  I could hardly agree more with you, I too said to myself but what does that mean, some Western media speak of this confinement as a problem more serious than the virus itself, as if the people were in jail on a diet of bread and water, and advises are raining down everywhere so that these people do not fall into the deepest depression or that they do not become obese. Help!

That reminds me of the news that lots of people called the police emergency line when facebook was down for an hour. It seems lots of people are shallow like that.

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48 minutes ago, MartinL said:

@ AussieBob 18 - funny you should mention Asperger's; often thought of myself as on that plane, quite happy to be so and don't care.

 

I should have said 'independent' then Aspergers and then Austistic. But the point is that having Aspergers is not a bad thing as it is portrayed by some media people - who tend to be 'dependent' people.   The more the psychology indusrty learn, the more they are understanding that many people have it.  As one noted Psychologist said at the end of his long lecture about the condition something like - "we are beginning to see that this condition is far more widespread than we realised (mild Aspergers). So next time you see someone that doesn't quite fit socially, you need to realise that for them it can be uncomfortable living with people that have no sense of urgency about anything, have no attention to detail, cannot concentrate for any length of time, and are compulsively 'social'. "  I can still remember when I worked in an office, and I was extremely reluctant to join them all and go have a coffee and cake every ef-in day because someone or someone's cat had a birthday. Join a mate or two over a beer/steak? Absolutely.  Join the whole office to 'celebrate' something totally and utterly unimportant - no thank you.  

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12 minutes ago, Retarded said:

Being alone is luxury and hard to give up. There is a moment on and off yearning for companionship but just imagining someone else except me in the room forewarns me not to give up that luxury. So it's been years going through bouncing back and forth since my only wife's passing away. The irony is I didn't have sour relationship with my late wife and we deeply loved each other unlike anyone who goes through hostile divorce. 

 

I couldn't take chatting 3 hours with one I just found and connected last night. So I disconnected phone and blocked her. But I felt loneliness already and started looking for one again. Why do women have to talk on the phone constantly? I wish I find someone who can be together without talking each other for hours and days but emotionally still attached. Maybe I am a psycho.    

You are independent - most women are dependent - see post about the psychology.

The trick is to find someone who can live in balance with your personality - not easy at older age - but not impossible.

May I suggest looking for someone who is not extremely active on social media - do you have facebook is a good question to ask because the reply tells you their likely personality - the one I married said yes, but I hardly use it - and she still doesnt.

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10 minutes ago, Zikomat said:

Most of the foreigners who prefer to stay in Thailand for months and years are asocial and introvert creatures by default. Who else will leave his own place to stay with people whose language he/she does not understand? Most of us should be pretty fine staying alone. 

Maybe, I am both introvert and extrovert depending on the situation. On parties i talk too much, but I am perfectly fine being all alone. But have been working from home for years so I am used too it.

 

Good thing I got a home gym now.

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While I am back in America in solitude, my wife is in Thailand in solitude.

 

The Truth is No One is Ever Alone, most just don't understand, you can look at photos of Spirit Orbs and this is what comes out of the body a few minutes after death.

 

I know this from my Dogs spirit passing through me a few minutes after she died in my arms as an Orb some 20 years ago, at that time before seeing photos of spirit orbs online, I used to explain it to family and friends that it was no bigger then a softball and no smaller then a baseball, very calming, peaceful and cool in temperature as it passed through me. 

 

In the Bible its explained as what keeps the flesh alive, the spirit in the blood, the heart the center of the orb.

 

In the Gospel of Thomas this is what Jesus is talking about.

 

Jesus said, "If those who lead you say to you, 'See, the kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you.

 

Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you.

 

When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty."

 

Its also what Rumi is talking about.

 

“I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God.”

 

God is the LORD of Hosts or God is the LORD of Spirits. 

 

The music video by Katy Perry is speaking about the very same thing but you don't see it because you relate it to the Material World instead of the Unseen World.

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, worgeordie said:

The wife has a friend who is a maid in a house, the Guy is

retired Policeman, he cannot be alone,he has guns ,6 dogs,

but if the maid goes to the market or shops ,he's on the phone

to her, maybe 4 times in an hour,where are you ,when are you 

coming back.he's definitely afraid to be alone,me I relish it,peace and quiet.

regards worgeordie

Maybe the ghosts are haunting him when alone ..... maybe he done very bad things in his job???? ….. and those guns are talking to him when alone …. ????

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You can be in a roomful of people and still be lonely, depends on the type of person you are. For years I lived in the outback of Australia only 2 directions I could go, the nearest people in one direction were 300 kilometer's away and the other 320 kilometer's, I have to say this was absolute bliss. I prefer my own company. Apart from the things that people generally do, i.e. Internet, TV etc etc, why not learn something new online. I am teaching myself Acrylic painting, all from watching tutorials on you tube, I am now also learning another language, also from the Internet. I am experimenting creating new recipes, never enough hours in the day for me to do everything. Due to the current situation with Corona, visitors are none existent and I love it.

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Seems simple but I think it helps to contemplate those who have had it so much harder than ourselves that it makes our present condition seem like nothing. Like when I'm walking and see someone confined to a wheelchair. But even better is people who were prisoners. A few weeks ago I was in the Hanoi Hilton in Vietnam which got me to read about what John McCain and others went through there. And once when I was down I read One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn; that will make you know how lucky you are!

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Just because one is alone does not mean they are lonely.

Perhaps they are as some have said, less dependent on others to fill a void, or to have their own existence validated by another human.

 

Edited by RJRS1301
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1 hour ago, MartinL said:

I love being alone. Spent 20 years in UK, post-divorce, living alone (apart from a cat) and it was wonderful. Met a Thai woman who changed that and I came to Thailand with her. Pretty soon I found that nothing had really changed and that, apart from her (and the stepchildren/grandchildren now), I still preferred solitude to seeking company. 

 

Walking alone for miles in the countryside, listening to birds and relative silence, watching the animals, looking at plants, was always my idea of heaven - don't do that here.

 

Motorcycling is something I've always enjoyed. On the bike, you can go places alone even when with a group of friends. On a long run, you might stop for fuel together but apart from that - solitude ..... and everybody understands completely if you say you don't want to (do some activity) because you'd rather be out on the bike.

 

@ AussieBob 18 - funny you should mention Asperger's; often thought of myself as on that plane, quite happy to be so and don't care.

 

I feel similar to you.

 

I like my own company most of the time.  I look forward to it when my partner goes away on business for a few weeks.  I can have the house to myself and I love the quiet.  When people are at home there is always noise, TVs, music, talking and general noise.  I don't mind it, but prefer the peace and quiet.  I like to garden, swim, relax, read, do jobs around the house, etc.  Rarely I want to watch TV as I find most of the stuff on it boring.  

 

I like to go cycling alone, and also walking with my 2 dogs in the countryside.  I like nature, wilderness, animals and beautiful views and scenery.  

 

However, occasionally I do feel the urge to socialise (not out of loneliness or because I a bored).  Then I will happily go out on my own and its easy to get into a conversation with people.

 

 

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"Why can't people stay alone ?" asks someone who probably traveled around the globe for happiness, love or sex.

 

Someone gave me a mixed tape of odd songs I'd never heard before. I always thought this song here's first line was 'I went to Thailand to be lonely.' Just me but many people who come to Thailand do find themselves eventually lonely.

 

 

Edited by TooBigToFit
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When surrounded by a bivey of hot thai girls in paradise, i cannot stay away whatever the consequences...it's like asking people to give cigs, beers, sports, and sex. NO way!  People know they will die from these vices but keep investing every day to kill themselves...how do you explain that???  HUH????

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Edited by mike787
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Mike, I noticed that an online link to escorts on another site was still running. There seems to be escort girls providing services not just in Thailand but around the globe right now. The oldest profession never closes its doors. I wonder how many of them will get or spread the virus.

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People like the Unibomber spend their life alone.

I spend a lot of time alone, but I think a normal mentally healthy person also needs interaction with others.  Some of us, especially of the female kind.

People who always want to be alone, probably have been rejected or are not liked by others. Insecure or mental issues.

There is a happy medium I think.

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1 hour ago, pdtokyo said:

(a) he's alone because he has guns and six dogs

(b) he's obviously in love with her

(c) she probably made the mistake of telling him he's handsum

(d) if they were in any kind of social/sexual relationship those 15-minutely calls would be described as 'stalking' 

(e) she needs to get the hell out of that job

 

... there ... post analysed ... job done. Next.

All wrong except (e) , It has something to do with his dead wife,

he's afraid of her ghost,does not sleep in their bed, but on a Lazy

boy chair, with a gun to hand.fear of Ghosts in Thailand is very strong.

regards Worgeordie

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50 minutes ago, david555 said:

Maybe the ghosts are haunting him when alone ..... maybe he done very bad things in his job???? ….. and those guns are talking to him when alone …. ????

You won the prize ,It's not anything he's done,its the Ghost of his

wife who died quite a few years now.

regards worgeordie

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