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my girlfriend wants gold


kiever

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19 hours ago, kiever said:

hello, we are together for 2,5 years with my thai girlfriend. i take care her, we travel in thaiand and asia. stay usually high end accomodations and travels usually by planes or taxis. eating in good places.
dont need to say i pay for everything of course.
. And she also lived with me in my home country for 1 year. i gave her about 15k-20k every month for her expenses and she sent 5k-10k to her family every month. honesly i didnt buy something expensive for her at all and she neither never demanded such things for 2,5 years relationship.
i pay for simple things such as dress, shoes, dentist, bags etc but i didnt buy a gold , cellphone or louis vuitton for example. now i am in my home country and cannot come back thailand because of corona. she is in thailand.
she said she wants golds because in the past i didnt give her any gifts.  what i understand that she wants me to buy her about 150k-200k golds when i come thailand. she says if i leave her she would have nothing for her future and her life will be very difficult. and she said a friend of her got these amounts of gifts from her boyfriend regularly and why i wouldnt do same ? she complains about her future all the time and wants me to do something for her future. well i love her but i am not sure if she loves me really ( never understand love of thais). OK, i can spend 150k to make her happy,  it is not a big money for me and it will be one time deal (i hope).   but is it normal  she just wants a big money ( gold = money) from me ? i am suprised when i heard it first time . i am afraid her next step , she will probably  demand land, home, car and bigger and bigger things because she will think i would do what she wants.  What do you think i should give what she wants ?

Let me take a wild guess here... She's about 19, has great, natural t!ts, legs that go on forever and an ass softer than Charlie Sheen's pillow.

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5 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

Let me take a wild guess here... She's about 19, has great, natural t!ts, legs that go on forever and an ass softer than Charlie Sheen's pillow.

Stop it, or I'll go blind.

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6 hours ago, kiever said:

many thanks for answers. i want to reply questions
we met with her at lady bar. yes this is a red flag. but so far all was so good. she has no education or profession like  most bar girls. i am 40, she is 23 years old. as i said we have been together for 2,5 years . i dont plan to marry with her because of my private situation. i am not sure this is normal or not for thais but i didnt buy her anything expensive for 2,5 years. should i buy  expensive items in the past for her such as louis vuitton bags ?  i dont think so. i just gave her 15000-20000, sometimes 30000 baht every month. that is all. no expensive items. all was fine until today. 2 weeks ago, she sent me a message by whatsapp " can you buy land for me to protect my future?" and then she deleted her message immediately but i already saw her message before she deleted. i asked her what it  was and she said just a joke. after few days she demanded golds for her and also a "a gold" for her grandmom. it is not sinsod as some of you asked me. i also asked same question to her and she just smile "you think too much you kiniow "  . she said i never bought gifts like that but  boyfriend of a friend of her did . and she claimed that guy is so generous because he also bought a motorbike for her friend and cellphone for her  friend's sister . i  havent ever heard   such requests from her for 2,5 years. i was very confused and didnt like this siuation  how things can change so fast ?. many red flags i can see in this story so i decided to ask opinions of yours here. the only thing i didnt understand is, she never demand such expensive gifts for 2,5 years. never ever. what changed in 2 weeks and why she asked these things now ? i didnt understand. because i didnt buy anything for her in the past and she thinks i should  compensate past ?   if i was not with her she would work at bar so nothing change in her life after me. 

Block and delete her,lesson learned better luck next time.

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2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:
3 minutes ago, seajae said:

so you have picked up a glorified prostitute half your age and are thinking with your little head,

Isn't that essentially what we've all done?

Yeah, but she's 23. The OP could have gotten something younger and less worldly, no?

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6 hours ago, kiever said:

...She said i never bought gifts like that but  boyfriend of a friend of her did . and she claimed that guy is so generous because he also bought a motorbike for her friend and cellphone for her  friend's sister . ...

She's lying! I only paid for a new tire for her friend's old Scoopy and she gave her friend's sister the old phone that had bought for her 4 years ago (and I have no idea where her new iPhone came from either).

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3 minutes ago, Ventenio said:

I send my girlfriend 50,000 a month to take care of her family

I've bought her two houses so she can be safe

I've bought them all a car and motorbike to get around

I also buy all the food so they don't go hungry

 

Last week she said she actually has 100 kids she never told me about, and I must help them or they will all suffer

 

I sent 1 million baht

 

Then she said her dad must fly to the moon for surgery or they will never be happy

 

I sent 10 billion baht

 

Then she said she sent me a text and I didn't answer

 

she broke up with me

I see that Ploy from Buriram is still playing the field then. Sorry for your losses.

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 Notice the common denominators of the scammers on Thai Friendly...the ones that don't bluntly tell you the cost of a date.  Very high on the list is how long you have been in Thailand..the longer makes you wiser to their scams.  Then, they want to make sure you are only here for a month or two per year..they have met too many expats that are experienced enough not to pay or simply can't.  Then, they want to know about your job...then they know how scamable you are.  In the OPs case, he looks A1 fit for financial punishment.  It is as scripted as what is given to a boiler room worker..it is methodical to how much skin care stuff and phone cards you will by them every time you walk into 711.  Your name is on a list..when money is extra tight, they are going to the list...if you resist, they will simply disappear and maybe block you..if you had them in the hay a few dozen times, they will make some kind of angry threat as they part ways.  If you are a pushover on a holiday, they will ask for an expensive phone..as soon as you are back home, the scripts continue..with a big one being need xx,xxx per month to not work in the bar.  Or in the case of them being the very few with jobs..the setup begins for the house and cars..Perhaps others, often their own worthless family, has put them up to it..seen some attractive female teachers, that were trying to do scams from Nakhon Craphole just about full time.  They had never made 20k per month working, but their list of wants reads like a housewifes of new Jersey horror story.  Wine, sushi, car with a specific engine..

Edited by moontang
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5 minutes ago, WhereIsMyRyeBread said:

Am I hearing this right?  Most expats have partners who are or have been working as a prostitute?!

That would be like me calling all Britons uneducated football hooligans covered in tattoos who only congregate around Soi 4 Nana or in Pattaya.

Depends on what circles you socialise in my naive little friend.

Yes you are hearing that right, although some of them earned enough money to leave the areas of prostitution, start their own business and still speak good enough English to find a western man without ever revealing their past

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2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Where do you live? Look around you in any rural Thai village, where the average wage is 2000 - 3000 baht/month. Then I come along and give ( for example ) support of 10,000 baht/month. You think most Thai women would not jump at that?

My GF is definitely not lazy. If she was, she would not be my GF.

The "normal" you describe is a tiny minority here.

I live in Thailand

in a small village in the north during years and now in Pattaya.

You are right about the village, but imo you take it too personaly.

i don't know your wife, so i can not say about her, but the ''normal''

women in the village are working hard with their men in the ricefields or others jobs

even if they don't have a salary they are not the ''lazy'' one (Whiches are just looking

at the easy way with a farang to take care of all their expenses and wishes) i was refering to.

Edited by kingofthemountain
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19 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I gave my GF the gold watch I got when I retired, since I never wear watches. Expensive brand, she was over the moon.

A friend the same for a VIP who said he'd take care of her long, time I didn't realize the watchman had such long arms. There is of course a variety of pay for play scenarios like Golf membership, pay per hole, per round or for life..

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13 minutes ago, cyril sneer said:

Yes you are hearing that right, although some of them earned enough money to leave the areas of prostitution, start their own business and still speak good enough English to find a western man without ever revealing their past

It's like I'm exchanging thoughts with a backpacker on Kao San road and the year is 1990.

It's unfortunate your experiences have lead you to believe that. 

I first rocked up to Thailand in 1995 when I was 22. I can assure you this isn't the case.

My wife earn 6 figures a month and many of her friends too, working for companies like Johnson and Johnson etc.

The assertion that it's all just a facade and the're all prossies when it comes down to it is completely false and based on a stereotype e.g 'The Thai' hooker.

This is a rather old and boring topic, as you were solider and good luck.

 

Edited by WhereIsMyRyeBread
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19 hours ago, kiever said:

no never i would do it for a girl in my home country.. but in my home country i would never have a girl at less than half age of mine.

My last gf in the UK was 23, I was 52 ............. didn't charge anything, just the occasional half pint of Rattler in the local pub and I'd cook her a meal when she came round. She wouldn't let anyone know she was staying over with me of a night though, and would deny outright there was anything between us. 

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33 minutes ago, WhereIsMyRyeBread said:

Am I hearing this right?  Most expats have partners who are or have been working as a prostitute?!

That would be like me calling all Britons uneducated football hooligans covered in tattoos who only congregate around Soi 4 Nana or in Pattaya.

Depends on what circles you socialise in my naive little friend.

We're talking about having women half our age ............ you think a girl half your age loves you?

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37 minutes ago, WhereIsMyRyeBread said:

Am I hearing this right?  Most expats have partners who are or have been working as a prostitute?!

That would be like me calling all Britons uneducated football hooligans covered in tattoos who only congregate around Soi 4 Nana or in Pattaya.

Depends on what circles you socialise in my naive little friend.

The ''hi so'' are a tiny minority

even most of the middle class Thai women are not 

really happy to the idea to be in couple with a foreigner

they don't want to read in the eyes of the other Thais people a suspicion

of prostitution, it's a ''face thing'' as you probably know already

of course there is still some exception and i am sure your is ''different''

Edited by kingofthemountain
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Just now, Jane Dough said:

Tell your girlfriend that if she wants "golds" she is to start practicing to win one at the next SEA Games.

She can begin her training by running down to 7-Eleven to be in time to beat the booze ban.

Rooster

I was thinking more 'gymnastics'.

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5 hours ago, kenk24 said:

She wants security... fancy dinners and hotels are not security... she is afraid in the future that you will dump her for a younger girl and she will have nothing to show for her time invested... it is pretty normal for any person to want some security for their future. 

 

It is a different type of happy. Rather practical and totally human. 

Sorry, 23 year old Bar Girls do not think that way.

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1 hour ago, WhereIsMyRyeBread said:

It's like I'm exchanging thoughts with a backpacker on Kao San road and the year is 1990.

It's unfortunate your experiences have lead you to believe that. 

I first rocked up to Thailand in 1995 when I was 22. I can assure you this isn't the case.

My wife earn 6 figures a month and many of her friends too, working for companies like Johnson and Johnson etc.

The assertion that it's all just a facade and the're all prossies when it comes down to it is completely false and based on a stereotype e.g 'The Thai' hooker.

This is a rather old and boring topic, as you were solider and good luck.

 

Everyone's wife earns 6 figures per month.

 

Just ask them.

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There's almost a script that plays out.

 

Thai ladies, working girls or not, look for a foreign partner because they're <deleted>-off with the treatment Thai men in general give them.

 

They think a foreign husband will be far more generous, easier to control and manipulate and spoil them.

 

There's always a period, variable, of them asking for little or nothing. Then it starts, slowly increasing. Designer handbags, clothes, shoes, expensive perfume and make up, gold, diamonds, watches, etc etc etc.

 

And they always know some other Thai lady whose foreign husband is much more generous and who gets a big 'salary" just for being a wife, and far more presents. To be fair, Thai women are in competition, and are just as obsessed with "face" as Thai men.

 

They will bleed you dry which might. if your're lucky take until you die and leave them with a bit after.

 

Very few Thais, except the hi-so elite very rich, can manage money well. So the "loans" for their business enterprises are likely never to be repaid. And they all think they're born business geniuses too. No need for advice or learning or anything like that!

 

That's how it is. Accept it or quit. 

 

Foreigners are far from perfect too, btw.

 

Bottom line, this ain't Kanasa Toto, and Thai ladies ain't like foreign ones.

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