Depression advice

[BritManToo]

14 minutes ago, rumak said:

And looking at many of the farangs i see here i would not be happy in their situations.   Either they have a "partner" who they do not seem (to me) to be happy with.  Or they have little to do to occupy themselves .

Who has a partner over 40 years old that they're still happy with?

Rarer than hen's teeth.

Edited May 29, 2020 by BritManToo

[transam]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Who has a partner over 40 years old that they're still happy with?

Rarer than hen's teeth.

Me...

[Tagged]

On 5/27/2020 at 12:45 PM, cyril sneer said:

thanks

 

AA meetings arn't my thing but i'd like to see a psychiatrist

 

I do feel that most people in my living situation would be depressed too though, so maybe this is the main thing I need to address

 

if i was next to restaurants, a gym, bars to socialise I would feel a lot happier

It is a good thing you realize you have problem, and you know there is a solution to it. When you are depressed, I know it is hard to get done anything at all, and even you think about your are hungry, have to go and take a <deleted>, and still hours later, you have not moved. That is how serious depression acts on people. You have to make one step at the time, and as many other said the obvious things here, I would like to mention Tramadol, or any other opiods could have severe impact on your depression. 

 

what make you feel great is maybe the seratonin it gives you for a short time being, but the more you take tramadol, the higher risk for worsen your depression. 

 

Seek help, but you are the one who can solve it, and that means live a bit boring, eat healthy, get out no matter what, stop drinking og start training your brain to think positive. Kognetive training and thinking. It is a full day work, but worth it when you brake trough the wall. Good luck

 

[cyril sneer]

7 minutes ago, rumak said:

I would definitely not be happy in your situation.  And looking at many of the farangs i see here i would not be happy in their situations.   Either they have a "partner" who they do not seem (to me) to be happy with.  Or they have little to do to occupy themselves .  ( those are the 2 biggies, and there are of course some others). 

All the advice in the world seems to help in a VERY few cases,  because it finally comes down to only a very few seem strong enough to make changes.   I have had a few partners,  and moved many times.  The reason ?   Not because i had to,  but because i did not want to spend my one life living with someone or in a place that I was not longer happy with.

So my "advice" is always the one that nobody wants to hear:   Make a change !

In your case i don't know if you and your partner are a real match,  but it is obvious that you

have chosen the wrong place to live.    Unless you are a recluse who needs nothing other than your four walls (which you say make you depressed)....... then MOVE. 

Sure,  easy for me to say.  but there it is.   And for the record,  I am 100 % against taking medicines for depression.    

If i'm perfectly honest, being with the same woman, and living in a province i've never liked, are the reasons I feel unhappy, i'm just looking at ways to fix it, well done for spotting or guessing it

 

my happiness in thailand has always been based on the freedom to move whenever I want, enjoying different women without being a relationship. heavy drinking seems to be a common occurring theme when i start to stay somewhere too long

[totally thaied up]

9 hours ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

The OP just needs to get himself a life, failing that a DOG.

I have four dogs. They are good for me for support as I have bipolar.  Medication has saved my life from almost utter ruin. You need to exercise and get out. Being stuck at home all the time is not good for anyone. Even just a walk around the house outside in the sun, is better then doing nothing. I spend a lot of time in a chair in my room but I have very large open windows that give me a view of the garden. That helps me a lot.

 

I live in a small village and found staying in one place hard. It has taken me some time to get use to this as before, my life was very busy; mostly a manic mess. Boredom is something that can make anyone sick if you spend too much time doing nothing. I cook, play games with my dogs, paint by numbers, almost do anything to stop keeping myself getting bored. That is the issue with many people- boredom. Try to keep busy of you can. That's all I can suggest at this time.

Edited May 29, 2020 by totally thaied up

[Stevemercer]

I live in Kosum Phisai, about 40 km from Khon Kaen. For me, medication has been the life saver (sertraline) which I take daily at a low dose. As others have said, it is a bit of a <deleted> shoot to find a medication that suits you. If your depression is mild, maybe you can tough it out.

 

Keeping busy (physically and mentally) is the only way to stave off depression. When we moved to Thailand we deliberately brought one hectare of land for our house because I knew working the land would keep me busy. I enjoy cycling which is good exercise for me. I could never survive in a condo or house with no garden.

 

That takes care of the mornings, but the heat of the afternoon can be a bit of a killer for me. Sometimes I go to Khon Kaen or Mahasarakham on my motorbike. I might visit friends. 

 

After 4:00 pm, as it cools off, there is plenty for me to do. I have a few pets (tortoises, iguanas and fish ponds) which need daily maintenance. I enjoy a good read and sometimes a movies downloaded from ThePirateBay.

 

Another poster has suggested sex. That is often good for me and can give me a 'high' for a few days.

 

Getting out and about every day is good. I go to the market every day to buy vegetables for my pets. There a few markets, shops and stalls I visit. It is good to get a smile and a laugh as you get to know the sellers. Cycling through the countryside often brings smiles and cheerful hellos from people. This sort of human contact, although small, can help bring a little light into your day.

 

 

[Tagged]

6 hours ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Erh, I 'spotted it' yesterday, did I not, and you come out with some old baloney. So let's give it a rest with the depression nonsense as it's an insult to people that really are depressed. You just need to make drastic changes in your life and only you can do that. I highly doubt that you can do it, but would be happy to be proved wrong.

I doubt your advises is in any book to heal depressed people, who often do not know themselves are depressed, or in a depressed state. It is fear to answer valid advises and information, when a person first make the step to get some help, support or even just someone who listen, og give feedback. Unfortunate, this fora is not the place when anyone who think they have a valid opinion can anwer. 

[Matzzon]

Yes, I know this feeling too. Around 17.00 I see the first cold beer in the refrigerator, and it´s smiling at me. I crack it open, and get a mysterious feeling of calm and happiness. Even after 3-4 beers I still feel really happy. After that I start to get these problems and negative effects of the beer. I suddenly start to feel gloomy, lose my concentration, seems like the mind is wondering in all directions. When coming up to the 8th or 9th big bottle, I also feel this tiredness and the problems with balance and staying awake. I suddenly feel so unconcentrated and just want to sleep. It feels like my body and mind just wants to get away from it all.

Hey, Dude! Welcome to reality. It´s the effects of alcohol, and have nothing to do with depression. Depression is an ingredient in a life of to much drinking.

(By the way, just so nobody gets any illusions. The above description is not me. Just a story made up for the OP to get a grip.)

[Lacessit]

20 hours ago, HashBrownHarry said:

If i had any i'd have given it obviously, don't be the one to turn this thread into a mess, why are you trying to get into a slagging match?

Maybe I read your post the wrong way, it sounded sarcastic to me. If not, my apologies.

[Lacessit]

13 hours ago, BritManToo said:

 

 

13 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Who has a partner over 40 years old that they're still happy with?

Rarer than hen's teeth.

Mine's 53, she's a jewel.

[n210mp]

Sent PM Cyril.

 

I am in my own terminology a "Cyclic Depresive" in other words I have these depressive bouts about every month and have done most of my life, I am 76.

 

At worst the bouts of depression make me lose the will to live and become  listless, exhausted and unable to rise from the couch without great self discipline, at best I lose the will to live!

 

I have found a way of lessening the impact of my depression by a systematic use of exercise therapy and regular use of a system to replace the work element that used to be the main "cure" for depression. Ie; 

(To maintain an active mind and body when external circumstances stop this happening)

 

you need to set up a daily "ritual" that you can work too that will give your mind and body some balance .

 

Please do not fob off the need for a daily "curriculum"

The only self discipline or willpower needed is to actually start the procedure by getting out of bed! 

 

Just to give you some idea of my curriculum here it is;

 

Rise at the same time every day

if you have a dog or not walk for 10 minutes outbound from your house, this give your body time to allow the body's natural waste system to get working in the vertical plane and clear the sleepy mind, in other words when you get back from the ten minute walk you will feel awake and have  the need to go to the toilet.

 

When you get home go to the toilet and then shower shave

 

Plan A   

Prepare a light breakfast  alternative days

 

Whilst eating your breakfast surf the internet for maybe 30 minutes  

 

 

Plan B alternative days 

 

After shower, shave and toilet 

Get on your cycle and cycle for  a minimum of 1 hour (or go for another much longer walk ) maybe gradually building this up to maybe 2 hours, speed is irrelevant. 

Then come back home with a great sense of satisfaction and tiredness that will balance your mind and body to the extent that hopefully your depression will have been negated.

 

Plan C alterative days 

I also play cheap charlie golf 2 days a week at the local Thai army courses   and walk 18 holes pulling a heavy cart and clubs.

 

 

 

So my weekly  routine includes 2 x walking golf days . 2 x cycling days and the other days I either rest or go to the driving range.

 

In my life I have had a great deal of stress to the extent that I have had to find ways other than  the medical way of dealing with my mind and body. I have found out that the body needs 50% mental stimulation and 50% physical labour if you do not get this right then you will succumb to various mental or physical  disorders of one kind or another! 

 

We underestimate our body's need for repetitive daily activity and the effect that the sudden loss of something that we have been doing for years will have on our mind and body.                                   

The medical professions answer is to throw drugs at this kind of issue , my answer is to go to the core of the matter and self cure!

I cannot speak for anyone else  but when I tried "medication" I felt as though I would be better off with the illness then the cure.

This does not mean that I think that some  "depressions" can be cured by  "self help, self discipline , mind over matter" or without the need for a professional intervention!

 

[Lacessit]

12 hours ago, totally thaied up said:

I have four dogs. They are good for me for support as I have bipolar.  Medication has saved my life from almost utter ruin. You need to exercise and get out. Being stuck at home all the time is not good for anyone. Even just a walk around the house outside in the sun, is better then doing nothing. I spend a lot of time in a chair in my room but I have very large open windows that give me a view of the garden. That helps me a lot.

 

I live in a small village and found staying in one place hard. It has taken me some time to get use to this as before, my life was very busy; mostly a manic mess. Boredom is something that can make anyone sick if you spend too much time doing nothing. I cook, play games with my dogs, paint by numbers, almost do anything to stop keeping myself getting bored. That is the issue with many people- boredom. Try to keep busy of you can. That's all I can suggest at this time.

I'm lucky, almost never bored. Have a daily and weekly routine, comfortable with it. If I want to vary the routine, hop on my scooter or get in my car and go exploring.

Being an introvert does have its advantages.

[Lacessit]

5 minutes ago, n210mp said:

Sent PM Cyril.

 

I am in my own terminology a "Cyclic Depresive" in other words I have these depressive bouts about every month and have done most of my life, I am 76.

 

At worst the bouts of depression make me lose the will to live and become  listless, exhausted and unable to rise from the couch without great self discipline, at best I lose the will to live!

 

I have found a way of lessening the impact of my depression by a systematic use of exercise therapy and regular use of a system to replace the work element that used to be the main "cure" for depression. Ie; 

(To maintain an active mind and body when external circumstances stop this happening)

 

you need to set up a daily "ritual" that you can work too that will give your mind and body some balance .

 

Please do not fob off the need for a daily "curriculum"

The only self discipline or willpower needed is to actually start the procedure by getting out of bed! 

 

Just to give you some idea of my curriculum here it is;

 

Rise at the same time every day

if you have a dog or not walk for 10 minutes outbound from your house, this give your body time to allow the body's natural waste system to get working in the vertical plane and clear the sleepy mind, in other words when you get back from the ten minute walk you will feel awake and have  the need to go to the toilet.

 

When you get home go to the toilet and then shower shave

 

Plan A   

Prepare a light breakfast  alternative days

 

Whilst eating your breakfast surf the internet for maybe 30 minutes  

 

 

Plan B alternative days 

 

After shower, shave and toilet 

Get on your cycle and cycle for  a minimum of 1 hour (or go for another much longer walk ) maybe gradually building this up to maybe 2 hours, speed is irrelevant. 

Then come back home with a great sense of satisfaction and tiredness that will balance your mind and body to the extent that hopefully your depression will have been negated.

 

Plan C alterative days 

I also play cheap charlie golf 2 days a week at the local Thai army courses   and walk 18 holes pulling a heavy cart and clubs.

 

 

 

So my weekly  routine includes 2 x walking golf days . 2 x cycling days and the other days I either rest or go to the driving range.

 

In my life I have had a great deal of stress to the extent that I have had to find ways other than  the medical way of dealing with my mind and body. I have found out that the body needs 50% mental stimulation and 50% physical labour if you do not get this right then you will succumb to various mental or physical  disorders of one kind or another! 

 

We underestimate our body's need for repetitive daily activity and the effect that the sudden loss of something that we have been doing for years will have on our mind and body.                                   

The medical professions answer is to throw drugs at this kind of issue , my answer is to go to the core of the matter and self cure!

I cannot speak for anyone else  but when I tried "medication" I felt as though I would be better off with the illness then the cure.

This does not mean that I think that some  "depressions" can be cured by  "self help, self discipline , mind over matter" or without the need for a professional intervention!

 

The Romans expressed what you are saying much more succinctly, " Mens sana in corpore sano". A healthy mind in a healthy body.

From what the OP has said, he is not in a happy relationship, which Rumak got onto in short order. From personal experience, staying in an unhappy relationship does nothing to break the cycle.

[Tagged]

1 hour ago, n210mp said:

 

 

We underestimate our body's need for repetitive daily activity and the effect that the sudden loss of something that we have been doing for years will have on our mind and body.                                   

The medical professions answer is to throw drugs at this kind of issue , my answer is to go to the core of the matter and self cure!

I cannot speak for anyone else  but when I tried "medication" I felt as though I would be better off with the illness then the cure.

This does not mean that I think that some  "depressions" can be cured by  "self help, self discipline , mind over matter" or without the need for a professional intervention!

 

You describe the same solution I have used, after several rollercoaster high and low for decades since a kid. The only difference from younger was more higher and elevated, and the downs was shorter. That changed by year the older I got to longer downs and shorter highs. Many things involved of course, but Vitamin D, activity, food, SUGAR, etc is things that do play a role in the whole. So again, change routines, get up early, and get to bed early two main factors. If sleep bad a night, get up anyway, no excuses and find the structure, and be diciplined. Dicipline is a major factor in the hole healing. I also turned down medication, but it cost to solve the problems with out, and as said, you have to be willing to walk the extra mile to succeed. I also used placebo, trained my brain to stop negative thoughts with a specific ritual, and also talked to my self in a positive way, as every time I saw myself in mirror also smile even you do not feel for it, think positive about what you see. It is all proven methods to change your brain slowly. Read more about Brain plasticiti, and how you can change your brain by positive thinking. 

 

 

[totally thaied up]

Major depression is something you will not mistake. If it is serious, you can be hospitalized. Sounds like to me he is suffering from his location and drinking too much in the evenings. This can make anyone depressed and he will need to do something to fix this. Either move from his location or find a way to fit in and be active.

 

I live in a very boring village with my wife but I have made a life here by being active even though a lot of the time I spend is in bed sick. My life is not good but I make the most of it. Reading books, doing paint by numbers, doing webpage code, just about anything I can lay my hands on, I will try. If you are not happy with your location that can be fixed. Sounds like you have some decisions to make about what you really want. Good Luck.

[CharlieH]

Trolling bickering posts and responses removed.

[talahtnut]

Knock the meds on the head mate,

Put a hammer through the TV.

Get a dog or cat, best company ever.

Get a piano or trumpet, or anything that

makes a noise. Making music takes your

mind off everything else.

When you've finished that, wind up your

computer and learn about all sorts of

unbelievable and interesting stuff going on.

Not serious advice, but works for me.

By the way, there's a cheap piano for sale

at Collingbourne's Auction today.

All the best Cyril.