The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand reopens! But forget the new normal, this is the old version

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand reopens! But forget the new normal, this is the old version

 

 

It was a bumper week of news on Thaivisa in the last seven days as our jailers promised to release us slowly at first, then all at once come July.
 
As if to mirror this sense of optimism we were treated to a welter of weirdness in the news that perhaps only Thailand can supply. 
 
Forget the "new normal",  this felt like going back in time to when masks were for pollution and people drank alcohol instead of slathering it on their hands. 
 
Back were the amulets saving motorists, pigs born with trunks ensuring lottery riches, nutters on the buses, road rage and carnage, ladyboys robbing Russians of their roubles, electrocution by hanging wires......all washed down with a mad dose of idiotic Thainess tinged with a characteristic modicum of good sense and Siamese humor.
 
Each week I usually make two pages of notes but even three failed to suffice this time around; without further ado here, in no particular order, are my pick of some of the best stories on the forum.
 
I hope you'll agree that you have to be mad to live in Thailand but it might be equally foolhardy to even contemplate leaving her behind.
 
1. The authorities began to ease the lockdown in a multiplicity of ways and promised that July 1st would mark the end of the beginning. However Dr Thira of Chula cautioned about letting the great unwashed - foreigners - back too soon. Methinks he must be a distant relative of Anutin who seems to have been temporarily rehabilitated at the helm of health. Thai schools will also open at the beginning of July well after international schools who it appears are being used as guinea pigs. Top cunning marks to Prayut for this subterfuge, except that most of the international schools are full of Thais who don't trust their own education system.
 
2. In Isaan it was discovered that fermented fish or Pla Ra can make you ill. On a trip to see the mother in law in Loei last year I noticed her homemade vats contained more maggots than fish that prompted Mrs R to admonish her mum and remove a few khan-fuls. I admonish my little children for saying they don't like something when they have never tried it, then unashamedly do just that when it comes to Pla Ra.
 
3. Eleven smokers were rounded up and fined for puffing at Mo Chit 2 bus station. It seems that someone believes coronavirus likes hitching a ride on smoke. In related news a Thai man at a market refused to put on a mask claiming his human rights had been impinged. Dozens of pages of comments followed both bashing and supporting his stance. It is horrible to have to wear these things but little can be accomplished in public without strapping them on and pretending they are effective. I comply but I am rather like a sheeple in wolf's clothing, unconvinced by their efficacy.
 
4. In QUOTES (the Queen Of The Eastern Seaboard) plod dragged a German and a Thai woman back to the resort to face charges of extortion. It appears they have been indulging in the national sport of framing people for drugs. A Frenchman is believed to be behind it all. In another case in Bangkok a Thai lady went solo pretending to a former foreign lover that she needed 1.5 million baht after being sold into sex slavery abroad.The screws tightened on the victim when she sent an email (purporting to be from her captors) that they would reveal his infidelity to the wife. She was meanwhile living the Cheewit of Khun Riley in a luxury condo in Soi Aree. Quite an effective use of lockdown time before immigration nabbed her.
 
5. A  British man who threw his wife off the eighth floor of a building in Rayong was arrested after hiding out in Bangkok. I know how he feels, but next time check out whether there are any overhanging roofs and balconies to break the spouse's fall. Also never attempt murder when the borders are all shut.The lady survived and now the Brit will be dining on rice gruel for a few decades. 
 
6. Support came for the hundreds of thousands of sex workers who have found it almost impossible to...er....make ends meet during the pandemic. They have my sympathy. Thailand - both officially and among the general population - remains two-faced about the sex industry and its workers. Many support families and it is high time they are recognised, supported and taxed rather than stigmatised. Many years ago I met a lady who was very pretty and not a bar girl. On a second date we were walking near Nana Plaza and I suggested it was an interesting area for a visit. Her comments and her nose turning up inspired me to take her home immediately and say goodbye. Along with some choice words delivered in Thai about her attitude to her countrywomen. I went to a bar for a drink to calm down and talk to some nicer people.
 
7. The border at Padang Besar was shut as more infected Thais sneaked back home. Meanwhile it was revealed that only 128 out of 27,000 returnees have tested positive. This begged the question as to how many have been tested, a perennial question from the pooh-poohers on the forum. The thread turned into a math lesson with one member adamant that the Thais had got their percentages wrong. They hadn't.
 
8. Also in Pattaya tourism and business leaders stated that some mysterious people were creaming 400 baht a person from government hotel quarantining. In reality there appeared little mystery about who was responsible and Uncle Too has called for an investigation. 
 
9. Creepy crawlies abounded this week and I'm not talking Thai politicians. We were warned about the Black Widow spider that has a nice ring to it in Thailand. Also a householder was inundated by a million "tua bung" who my wife informed me were furry black caterpillars. Mrs R will pluck certain insects from the ether and fry them for dinner but she draws the line at caterpillars. She was aghast when recently we got some on a lemon tree on the balcony and rather than douse them in Baygon I overturned an old fish tank and taught the chicks about chrysalis and butterflies. In some ways they have learned more in my lockdown classroom than across the soi at school. 
 
10. Netizens got very hot, and not just under the collar, when True tried to block Pornhub. With so much of the Thai nation flying kites at home, they were forced to do an embarrassing U-turn. A friend told me Pornhub is one of the most visited sites on the internet.  Well, well. 
 
11. A bus company was fined 10,000 baht for fleecing a passenger by charging double for a trip from Pattaya to Nong Khai. Fair enough but something has got to give regarding social distancing requirements and travel. Regarding air travel it is to be expected that the airline industry will try and woo people back with deals at first before hitting them with a double whammy. It is nearly two years since I got on a plane and if and when I decide to visit England again it will be on the train. Watch this space to see if I keep to my word! 
 
Meanwhile THAI entered a version of bankruptcy that may mean people who have paid for tickets have less legs to stand on than Pattaya bar stoolers.
 
12. In Sisaket a pig was born with an elephant trunk though it didn't survive long. The sow (not its elder sister) flattened it just as the neighbors arrived to get the lottery numbers. The owner - who was having no truck with reporters about what numbers to play in the next draw - is giving it to the local temple for posterity. They are going to stuff it, presumably not with sage and onion.
 
13. An old man suffering from terminal cancer was obliged to shuffle off his mortal coil when two vans refused to get out of the way of an ambulance. One of their drivers laughably claimed he had not heard the siren blaring. It is time that the paltry 500 baht fine for such an offence is upgraded, possibly even to a custodial sentence. 
 
14. In the south people who went out without masks were 'shamed' into doing a ramwong round their 'rots'. It followed on from recent weeks when press-ups and jumping jacks were utilized. Altogether more effective was Kamnan Sumit Rak-O in Krabi who, tired of the police not doing their job, decided to take matters into his own hands and "persuade" tearaway teens to take a sledgehammer to their noisy exhausts for a 100 baht bursary.  The lure of cash and a lesson in social responsibility did the trick so well done to him.
 
15. Standard Chartered Bank warned that it may take two years for the Thai economy to recover. Methinks there must be some serious business opportunities here but as yet I have not put my finger on precisely what. Crises are often the best time to invest.
 
16. In foreign news Twitter put a fact check tick on the president's pronouncements then did the same for tweets coming out of China. Trump responded by threatening to shut down social media. Then he had a mask spat with Joe Biden as the death toll in the States crept past 100,000.
 
17. In England Boris stood by his top aide Dominic Cummings who offered the kind of bare faced excuses previously reserved for Thai PMs after he broke his own lockdown rules. One about test driving 60 miles to find out if he could see, resulted in a myriad of memes. 
 
The government in Britain is in total shambles and before you call me the "loony left" I would point out that if I ever had voted it would have been for the Conservatives. Piers Morgan and other prominent journalists got their teeth stuck in and showed no signs of letting go of their quarry.
 
18. In worldwide sports news it was announced that the English Premier League will resume on June 17th. In golf Rory Mc. of Northern Ireland claimed that holding the Ryder Cup without spectators just would not be cricket. Given some of the disgraceful scenes in recent years it may be one event that would benefit from having no crowd.
 
19. An elder brother blew away his two younger siblings in a dispute about daddy's inheritance. This story was of course no laughing matter but I have been dining out on 'moradok' (inheritance) jokes since the year dot. It was one of the first words I learned in Thailand alongside grengjai and gai yang.
 
20. An immigration sergeant said that an amulet in his wallet next to his driving license saved him in a smash caught on a dash cam by a following police vehicle. Given his appalling driving, someone ought to take it away from him.....the license not the amulet.
 
Meanwhile Dr Suwannachai speaking at a forum said that deaths from road accidents January to March were 10% down on last year and 17 billion baht was saved. This was because Thais were not drinking so much. Wait to see what the figures are for April and June; it may be tough to get a beverage ever again! No one suggested training people to drive better. 
 
Finally, a Thai woman got on a #99 bus and asked if it was going to Ngam Wong Wan. When the conductress said "No" she refused to get off and demanded 300 baht for a taxi.
 
I'll have to try that one day. 
 
Rooster
 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2020-05-31

 

- Whatever you're going through, the Samaritans are here for you

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[Samui Bodoh]

An interesting read as always, cheers!

 

In my 'Week That Was', I noticed ever more line-ups for food hand-outs on my island. Yes, I follow the guidance on 'social distancing' and 'isolating in place', but have needed to get on my bike to break the boredom/cabin fever daily. The lines for hand-outs, already long, frequent and concerning a month ago, have doubled in both size and frequency. One part of me is happy that locals are stepping up to help, but the other side sees that the need is growing, not waning. What will it be like in another month? Two months? Four months? Will the economic fall-out be worse than the virus?

 

I struggled for a while on how I might help. I have experience working with international organizations/charities, and anyone who does that picks up basic knowledge of Food Security, Food Distribution and related matters, so I was wary of unorganized efforts to assist. Further, despite their traditional roles in food assistance in Thailand, I was (and still am) wary of the Temples for donations as I have never gotten my head around the idea of 'making merit' by fixating on money; if there is a God, I always assumed that SHE would want you to be a good person and didn't measure quality of a life by a bankbook and/or monetary donation. Moreover, I had (frankly weird) experiences with monks from the temple near my house trying to sell me costume jewelry, and that didn't help. Finally, I noticed some locals banded together to create regular hand-outs at set times and did give them some cash, but they had enough and weren't in my neighbourhood, so that wasn't quite right either.

 

A woman I know on the main road set out a donation box AND undertook responsibility for managing it, so I have been making my contributions there. She accepts food donations from both Thais and foreigners, but regulates the flow of food into the box across the day and early evening so that many different people can access it. Further, and on my suggestion, she asked donors to make smaller but regular donations on specific days of the week, and they have agreed; I do twice a week and focus on heaps of vegetables (with a few cookies thrown in for the kids). Yes, non-perishable food stuffs are always good, but we both know that the people taking donations are going home and cooking them, so veggies are okay too. 

 

That is how I am helping. However, if you are donating to Temples, dropping food off at the donation boxes, 'adopting' a family or two, or some other type of aid and you are happy with the results, please (please!) continue it; there is genuine need out there and it isn't always visible. 

 

While it is great that some restrictions are being loosened, the simple fact is that thousands and thousands and thousands are unemployed/underemployed due to the loss of tourism and their suffering will continue for months, if not longer. Imagine what you would feel if you needed to go line up for food every day (How do you feel lining up at Immigration one day a year?). The frustration. The waiting. The uncertainty. Having a hungry child with you. The heat and sun. The orders from the police. The knowledge that you went to bed hungry last night, and that you and your family might go to bed hungry tonight. And finally, the knowledge that this will continue in the immediate future with no end in sight. I'd be on the verge of going postal. 

 

When a society undergoes massive economic dislocation and (especially!) hunger, all previous truths are suspect. Thailand is slowly developing a new paradigm, but it is not clear whether it will be malignant or benign; I am hoping for the latter.

 

 

 

Edited May 31, 2020 by Samui Bodoh
Lack of Coffee

[mr mr]

buddy again with the new normal garbage. just stop it. it is getting kind of weird now. 

[GarryP]

Why would immigration arrest the blackmailing bint from Bangkok? Surely, that would be a job for the regular plod. 

[Jane Dough]

1 hour ago, GarryP said:

Why would immigration arrest the blackmailing bint from Bangkok? Surely, that would be a job for the regular plod. 

I think they were doing a bit of a Big Joke

 

Rooster

[PaDavid]

Thanks Rooster for my weekly dose of Thai news. A few points.
 

Firstly, wouldn’t p(b)la ra be called p(b)a ra in Isaan? No l in fish up here!
 

Beware any furry looking caterpillar. Mostly they’ll give you a nasty stinging rash. 
 

I expect March’s road deaths to be way down due to Covid keeping so many people off the roads. Could Thailand set another first by becoming the only country in the world whose overall death rate actually falls during the epidemic?

[roger101]

Rooster. Can you tell us how you're going to the UK by train?

[Jane Dough]

36 minutes ago, PaDavid said:

Thanks Rooster for my weekly dose of Thai news. A few points.
 

Firstly, wouldn’t p(b)la ra be called p(b)a ra in Isaan? No l in fish up here!
 

Beware any furry looking caterpillar. Mostly they’ll give you a nasty stinging rash. 
 

I expect March’s road deaths to be way down due to Covid keeping so many people off the roads. Could Thailand set another first by becoming the only country in the world whose overall death rate actually falls during the epidemic?

March was in the figures I quoted. Perhaps A-M-June will be more stunning!

 

Rooster

[Jane Dough]

18 minutes ago, roger101 said:

Rooster. Can you tell us how you're going to the UK by train?

If I plan it right it is going to take 16 days and cost a fortune. But I figure the adventure will be worth it. I shall only go back if my daughter gets married or my son ever graduates!

 

Rooster

[Jane Dough]

6 hours ago, mr mr said:

buddy again with the new normal garbage. just stop it. it is getting kind of weird now. 

It's a brilliant term. If it wasn't for 'social distancing' it would be phrase of 2020

 

Rooster

[mr mr]

Just now, Jane Dough said:

It's a brilliant term. If it wasn't for 'social distancing' it would be phrase of 2020

 

Rooster

you must be from twitter. i get it now. 

[bluesofa]

9 minutes ago, Jane Dough said:

28 minutes ago, roger101 said:

Rooster. Can you tell us how you're going to the UK by train?

If I plan it right it is going to take 16 days and cost a fortune. But I figure the adventure will be worth it. I shall only go back if my daughter gets married or my son ever graduates!

That sounds a great adventure.

In the mid 1980s a girlfriend and I had an idea to do UK>Singapore by train, but via the good ol' USSR.

That would have taken six weeks and cost 6,000 UKP each even then.

Needless to say it stayed a dream.

[Jane Dough]

41 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

That sounds a great adventure.

In the mid 1980s a girlfriend and I had an idea to do UK>Singapore by train, but via the good ol' USSR.

That would have taken six weeks and cost 6,000 UKP each even then.

Needless to say it stayed a dream.

Yikes, looks like I need go fund me.....

 

Any offers? I wont guarantee that you will get rid of me but I promise to write about it!!

 

Rooster

[Lacessit]

8 hours ago, mr mr said:

buddy again with the new normal garbage. just stop it. it is getting kind of weird now. 

Is there some point in the distant future when we can expect a positive post?

[mr mr]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Is there some point in the distant future when we can expect a positive post?

don't expect it to be the new normal.

[newbruisers23]

An improvement from last's weeks. Did you have a couple beers at the pub to relax your writing a bit? Or haven't they opened yet?

[brianthainess]

16 hours ago, bluesofa said:

That sounds a great adventure.

In the mid 1980s a girlfriend and I had an idea to do UK>Singapore by train, but via the good ol' USSR.

That would have taken six weeks and cost 6,000 UKP each even then.

Needless to say it stayed a dream.

In 1988 my girlfriend and i traveled from Hong Kong 3 mth through China mostly by train, then 7 days by train to Berlin via Moscow paid 120 usd, bus to Amsterdam, bus to Victoria bus station slept through most of that one, guess the bus went on the ferry. Fell asleep standing up at a bus stop, got on the bus home, slept on that, woke up and asked a guy if id passed my stop, yes you have, alighted the bus and realized it was Af'er English the actor. oops went of topic a bit. 

[kimcancer]

Never doubt the power of an amulet, or a ladyboy. Or a ladyboy with an amulet. Happy times will return to us. Be well and enjoy the sun! 

[Caspersfriend]

On 5/31/2020 at 8:32 AM, Samui Bodoh said:

An interesting read as always, cheers!

 

In my 'Week That Was', I noticed ever more line-ups for food hand-outs on my island. Yes, I follow the guidance on 'social distancing' and 'isolating in place', but have needed to get on my bike to break the boredom/cabin fever daily. The lines for hand-outs, already long, frequent and concerning a month ago, have doubled in both size and frequency. One part of me is happy that locals are stepping up to help, but the other side sees that the need is growing, not waning. What will it be like in another month? Two months? Four months? Will the economic fall-out be worse than the virus?

 

I struggled for a while on how I might help. I have experience working with international organizations/charities, and anyone who does that picks up basic knowledge of Food Security, Food Distribution and related matters, so I was wary of unorganized efforts to assist. Further, despite their traditional roles in food assistance in Thailand, I was (and still am) wary of the Temples for donations as I have never gotten my head around the idea of 'making merit' by fixating on money; if there is a God, I always assumed that SHE would want you to be a good person and didn't measure quality of a life by a bankbook and/or monetary donation. Moreover, I had (frankly weird) experiences with monks from the temple near my house trying to sell me costume jewelry, and that didn't help. Finally, I noticed some locals banded together to create regular hand-outs at set times and did give them some cash, but they had enough and weren't in my neighbourhood, so that wasn't quite right either.

 

A woman I know on the main road set out a donation box AND undertook responsibility for managing it, so I have been making my contributions there. She accepts food donations from both Thais and foreigners, but regulates the flow of food into the box across the day and early evening so that many different people can access it. Further, and on my suggestion, she asked donors to make smaller but regular donations on specific days of the week, and they have agreed; I do twice a week and focus on heaps of vegetables (with a few cookies thrown in for the kids). Yes, non-perishable food stuffs are always good, but we both know that the people taking donations are going home and cooking them, so veggies are okay too. 

 

That is how I am helping. However, if you are donating to Temples, dropping food off at the donation boxes, 'adopting' a family or two, or some other type of aid and you are happy with the results, please (please!) continue it; there is genuine need out there and it isn't always visible. 

 

While it is great that some restrictions are being loosened, the simple fact is that thousands and thousands and thousands are unemployed/underemployed due to the loss of tourism and their suffering will continue for months, if not longer. Imagine what you would feel if you needed to go line up for food every day (How do you feel lining up at Immigration one day a year?). The frustration. The waiting. The uncertainty. Having a hungry child with you. The heat and sun. The orders from the police. The knowledge that you went to bed hungry last night, and that you and your family might go to bed hungry tonight. And finally, the knowledge that this will continue in the immediate future with no end in sight. I'd be on the verge of going postal. 

 

When a society undergoes massive economic dislocation and (especially!) hunger, all previous truths are suspect. Thailand is slowly developing a new paradigm, but it is not clear whether it will be malignant or benign; I am hoping for the latter.

 

 

 

How do you [or one] access who is a 'new normal' needy and those that are the 'old normal' greedy?

[Jane Dough]

10 hours ago, newbruisers23 said:

An improvement from last's weeks. Did you have a couple beers at the pub to relax your writing a bit? Or haven't they opened yet?

I'm not a drinker. My only vice is Scrabble, that relaxes what is left of my brain.

 

Thanks for reading and glad this week was more to your liking.

 

Rooster

[Samui Bodoh]

47 minutes ago, Caspersfriend said:

How do you [or one] access who is a 'new normal' needy and those that are the 'old normal' greedy?

Hi @Caspersfriend

 

The very short answer is you can't always know and sometimes the 'old normal' greedy is going to take some of it; It is just the way of things. As long as it is kept to a minimum and isn't... Er... Ahem... 'institutionalized' skimming as we so often see in Thailand, I don't worry about it.

 

As I noted in my post, I worked internationally with organizations that raised money, and your question is the one that I was asked most frequently and the one that I asked myself most frequently. That answer (above) isn't very satisfying, but it is realistic. Simply put, the lengths that you would have to go to in ensuring total, 100% compliance by only the 'new normal' needy isn't worth the effort; you'd waste much more than you would save.

 

I think (repeat: think) that the woman I am doing this with is a smart cookie; she is Thai, in her thirties, runs her own business, is 1,000 times sneakier and more devious than I (I mean that in the good way), and understands Thais and Thai culture better than I. I trust her to keep an eye on things. Further, she doesn't just dump everything in the box in the morning and forget about it; she sees who is taking what and how much. Finally, I think that if she sees someone 'hogging' the food, she'll just cut them off at the knees; ever been at the wrong end of a very angry Thai woman (Shudder!!!)? 

 

If you are looking to donate and not sure where or to whom, ask a cross-section of your Thai friends for a recommendation. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but after 30 years in Asia, I have learned that Asians in general are extraordinary gossips, and if you have a cross-section of your Thai friends recommending the same thing, it is almost certainly good.

 

Finally, if one of the 'old normal' greedy person(s) gets some of the food rather than the 'new normal' needy person, so be it. I know that most of what I have donated is getting to the right place(s), and that is what is important to me.

 

Hope this helps

 

[3NUMBAS]

that means throwing money about like there no tomorrow ,,yeehaaaa