How many genuine Thai friends do you have?

[WineOh]

Been coming here since the mid 80's.

Lived here permanently since July 1996.

sadly I can say that I have the grand total of zero genuine Thai friends.

i presume there are multiple reasons for this,

I have tried tirelessly over the years to integrate and make friends with locals..

seems they just don't want friendship.

I have a few Thai people that I call acquaintance's.

but thats as deep as it goes.

Thai people seem really cold and insular when it comes to being friends.

they like to keep everything on the surface,

they don't like to show their true feelings really and get close to a foreigner.

anybody know why this is?

living here a long time and still no closer as to why.

 

what are they afraid of?

I have met many nice and friendly Thais down the years,

but genuine close friends i have none.

 

How many genuine Thai friends do you have?

(and by genuine I mean no other ulterior motive involved, be that personal or financial). 

 

 

[Dumbastheycome]

3

[colinneil]

Maybe its you, i have a handful of very good Thai friends.

When i was in hospital 3 Thai friends visited, when i was in Banphai hospital a Thai friend visited me.

He saw that the lifting hoist on my bed was not working, spoke to the nurses, said i will send my worker to fix it, if thats ok with the staff.

They were only too happy to get it fixed. 

Since coming home, he has visited me, having problem with a winch, no problem Colin, i will send workers fix that for you, done that afternoon, no charge.

A Thai lady who has a restaurannt near here, always brings me some food i like when she visits, no charge.

I have 2 other Thais come visit me from time to time, just to ask if i am ok.

[WineOh]

3 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Maybe its you,

I have many western friends with similar experiences mate. 

Edited July 1, 2020 by Liverpoolfan

[Matzzon]

For coming here since the 80´s, you have a very descending look upon Thais only by opening a thread like this.

I can tell you that all my Thai friends are genuine. In the opposite to you I do not engage any friendship based on ulterior motives or fake people.

Not even my wife is dependant on me. She do not need me, and she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She just chose to stay with me, because we work well together and like as well love each other. 

[Matzzon]

Just now, Liverpoolfan said:

I have many faring friends with similar experiences mate. 

Yep, at the bar probably.

[baansgr]

More importantly.....do you really want any....

[nikmar]

actually, more than i have genuine farang friends. maybe thats just the company I keep.

 

Maybe, the locals are scared of dodgy scouse accents ????

[darrendsd]

The answer for your lack of Thai friends is simple - even Thais don't like scousers 

[WineOh]

5 minutes ago, Matzzon said:

Yep, at the bar probably.

How do you know that?
Are you always at the bar?

[Matzzon]

1 minute ago, Liverpoolfan said:

How do you know that?
Are you always at the bar?

No, I just assumed that´s where you hear all the deluded things you post here.

Edited July 1, 2020 by Matzzon

[WineOh]

1 minute ago, darrendsd said:

The answer for your lack of Thai friends is simple - even Thais don't like scousers 

Must mean they also don't like Danes, swedes, french, spanish, German and Canadian then..

 i have friends from all those countries above and each one tells a similar tale. 

[tonray]

Zero ..but then again...I don't have any real Farang friends here either.....just acquaintences who I infrequently grab lunch or do some shopping with. Have many lifelong friends back in USA....I guess I'm old and crusty and am less trusting of new people so hard for me to bond with anyone here.

[Denim]

Just the 1.

 

I married her 14 years ago.

[thequietman]

None, Zero, Nadda, Zilch.

 

I am sure there are nice Thai guys out there, but I just don't trust them when they drink, and the 'face' thing is a complete nightmare.

 

Sense of humour is completely different also. Maybe with an educated Thai male who has a good grasp of English and has been educated overseas might work.

 

Village guys - it's a non-starter. ????

[Grumpy one]

Maybe 10 at most

As for farang friends not as many.

They seem to be passing away rather quickly, mind you this could be an age thing

[northsouthdevide]

Reading your post made me think... 

I have a lot of Thai friends, mostly the connection is through my wife, and I'm not really close with any of them, but maybe it's a culture thing? 

Though I have a handful of long term close friends in the UK, I can compare my Thai friends easily with many friends/acquaintances that I've had in the UK, so it's almost the same. 

Which given that I don't speak Thai very well, I can't complain. 

[Matzzon]

5 minutes ago, Liverpoolfan said:

Must mean they also don't like Danes, swedes, french, spanish, German and Canadian then..

 i have friends from all those countries above and each one tells a similar tale. 

Sounds to me you need to get some real and genuine friends, like you started this thread about. Not just the ones that have the ulterior motive to be half drunk everyday talking trash about Thais.

[Peterw42]

Its probably difficult to have a genuine friendship with Thais if you are renting the company of Thais, think you are superior to Thais, think all Thais are after your money.

[smutcakes]

I think most people make or made their lifelong friends when growing up together, at school or university. As you get older i think you are less likely to make those type of friends as you are grown up and generally have a life of your own, as do other grown ups.

 

I have plenty of acquaintances i see for sport, acquaintances i know from pubs, acquaintances from work all of which i would occasionally grab lunch with, occasionally go for a weekend away etc and they are mostly Thai or other Asians.

 

I can speak to them about most things, probably to much after a couple of beverages, they would do things for me if i asked, but i don't really need people to do things for me as I am a functioning adult who can take care of myself.

 

I have friends in the UK who i would describe as lifelong friends, but we rarely chat but when we do we pick up exactly like we left off.

 

A small group of those friends is fine for me, i dont need more like that and i am unlikely to make more friends like that. Although even if i was in my home country i doubt once you get about 30 odd you are ever suddenly going to be expanding your genuine friends circle.

 

 

[WineOh]

3 minutes ago, Matzzon said:

Not just the ones that have the ulterior motive to be half drunk everyday talking trash about Thais.

Have you never heard Thais trashing foreigners here?

How long have you been here again?

Do you speak Thai yet?

[UncleMhee]

11 minutes ago, darrendsd said:

The answer for your lack of Thai friends is simple - even Thais don't like scousers 

Wow....you and @nikmar are special!! Not everyone gets away with taking the <deleted> out of scousers. Well done lads!!

[Matzzon]

1 minute ago, Liverpoolfan said:

Have you never heard Thais trashing foreigners here?

How long have you been here again?

Do you speak Thai yet?

1. Yes, I have. What has that got to do with anything? Are you using a bad behaviour as an excuse to engage in the same yourself?

2. Around 23 years living in Thailand ful time. First time in Thailand 1989.
3. Yes, I do.

[ezzra]

How to judge a good friend, ask to borrow money from him when you're really, really need it and he knows your chance of repaying the loan is far far away, and if said friend extend that loan to you with all his heart, and how did Carole king sing?: you have a friend...

Edited July 1, 2020 by ezzra

[Pilotman]

One, my wife. 

[WineOh]

7 minutes ago, Matzzon said:

 Are you using a bad behaviour as an excuse to engage in the same yourself?

Perish the thought mate..
Nice to see you openly admitting that the thai engages in bad behavior though.

There may be hope for you yet ????

[Pilotman]

OP wrote:    I have tried tirelessly over the years to integrate and make friends with locals. ??

 

You should never have to 'work' to make friends, much less 'work tirelessly'. That may be half of your problem, trying too hard.  I can't say that I have ever 'worked' at getting friends,  or had to 'work' to keep them. They just become part of your life at some point, and due to circumstances at that time, and remain part of your life.  

Edited July 1, 2020 by Pilotman

[Tagged]

I had/have few thai friends before who was diving and climbing, so it is trough common interests you find friends as it is normal other countries. Also some really good buddies with some females where I used to live before, but I got new gf, and they have new bf´s so it is not possible to maintain anymore. I have some I once and awhile meet while teaming up for a motorbike ride, but not close friends yet. 

 

[4MyEgo]

The only Thai friend I have is my Mrs of 13 years, she is pretty much like me, non reliant on friends, I have a handful of true friends back in Oz who I have kept in touch with since our friendships were built upon, some 15 years ago, the others about 30 year ago, here only the lads at the local, acquaintances I think I read someone say, there good value, but bitchy, so no doubt they also put it in my back.

 

My wife doesn't want friends, you know the old saying, a friend in need is a pain in the a$$. She agrees with me, friends come and go, but real friends stay around and don't knife you in the back, she had one friend of the 4 Thai girls she knew when she lived in Oz with me for 9 years, she is still in touch with the one friend, the others she doesn't keep in touch with, although they try to keep in touch with her, but we believe, with friendships, you only get one chance, try and stick the blade in and your out.  

 

Thai's I have no interest in, I somehow don't trust them, and if the wife can't trust her own, neither can I.

 

Perhaps you need a partner who can also be your mate, one without jealousy and needs, one who is on your wavelength ?

[Matzzon]

3 minutes ago, Liverpoolfan said:

Perish the thought mate..
Nice to see you openly admitting that the thai engages in bad behavior though.

There may be hope for you yet ????

Sure there is hope for me. Not for you, though. The only thing you see is bad behaviour from Thais, and the is what you justify your bad behaviour on. Sad, when the mind do not reach further. You probably can´t se the forest, because there is too many trees in the way. ????????????