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Posted (edited)
52 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

He doesnt' have to paid a wage to her

he has done more than enough already

she hasn't take the chance he has given to her, but she has prefered to <deleted> him off with gamble?

And you want to reward this bad behaviour with a huge amount of money every month?

seriously....

 

A huge amount LOL. Besides, I qualified why he may do this, but of course you have chosen to ignore this.

 

Anyway, the OP isn't going to take a single bit of notice/advice from anyone on this thread. They never do.

Edited by Keyser Soze666
speeling

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3 minutes ago, northsouthdevide said:

I feel you have 2 options, but before that, you have to take control of the family finances........ 

First let me explain, that I've seen 2 farangs in this situation in the last 10 years. 

Both ended up looking after the kid alone. 

1 took his kid back to the UK to start secondary school, and the other lives in my local town. I see him most weekdays taking his kid to and from school on a pushbike. 

 

Don't think that you can cure her of the addiction that no doubt you've been funding for the past how many years. 

What you have to do, is go to a lawyer, and have a document drawn up that you get full custody of your child, then pay her to sign it. 

You can still go on living with her if you feel that it's the thing to do, but if the child is yours, then you won't have a problem in the future, when the inevitable happens. 

 

The second option is to marry her. 

This might sound like a ridiculous suggestion, but without wedlock, you have absolutely zero parental rights in Thailand as a foreigner. 

I personally would go for option 1. 

Good luck, whatever you do mate, I feel for you. 

Why are you assuming he would want to go for custody, he has made no mention of that at all. 

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9 minutes ago, northsouthdevide said:

Don't think that you can cure her of the addiction that no doubt you've been funding for the past how many years. 

What you have to do, is go to a lawyer, and have a document drawn up that you get full custody of your child, then pay her to sign it. 

You can still go on living with her if you feel that it's the thing to do, but if the child is yours, (custody) then you won't have a problem in the future, when the inevitable happens. 

 

The second option is to marry her. 

This might sound like a ridiculous suggestion, but without wedlock, you have absolutely zero parental rights in Thailand as a foreigner. 

I personally would go for option 1. 

Good luck, whatever you do mate, I feel for you. 

Edited 4 minutes ago by northsouthdevide

You are contradicting yourself in this post,would it make a difference if the op is on the birth certificate as being the father?or is that not possible if they are not married?

 

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1 hour ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

My 2 pennies worth, talk of taking the boy away, away from his mother and trying to be a single parent in a foreign land and needing to work overseas sometimes is frankly shocking 'advice'

It would hardly be taking the boy away from his Mother, she's already said she will dump the boy with the family and return to working away. Myself having to make the decision a few years ago, would I be comfortable with  letting my kids stay in the boonies with Grandparents. Going to school 20kms away 3 up on a moped and all the other endless nasty possibilities of the perverted retards in this country gauging over Luk krueng girls....no way. The OP seems to love his son and won't abandon him like the Mother and be a better parent for the boy. Sole custody is the way to go but of course  allow the Mother access.

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6 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

I don't think the OP is looking for sympathy, makes no difference the lady's background. Gambling can be a problem for all walks of life. 

 

He says she’s threatened to go back on the game, to stop him seeing his son on top of the lies she tells. 

I’ll ignore the gambling and the lies. You explain to me vicar how the other problems are ok. 

 

11 minutes ago, harrymcgarry said:

Thats a bit strong mate, I ended up with her after a good ten years of real fun with lots of girl friends and a rollercoaster life style. I am not an idiot and life has been wonderful for me ,her and obviously now our son. I think she is having a midlife crisis and at the age of 40 and good looking girl I doubt weather she can be bothered to go back to work in a bar especially with the young boy who never leaves her side. If you met us you would see a different picture . we are fairly well known aswell and this is going to be a shock to a lot of friends and family hence my real name is not on here. 

 

You’ve decided to wash your knickers on Thaivisa. Read the above.

 

Nuff said.

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...when I send money for something ...

 

 

Sorry if it's already been asked.  That comment suggests that you're not actually living with her?

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14 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

At the age of 40 sadly she'll end up on Soi 500

Where’s that ? Sounds interesting 

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2 minutes ago, baansgr said:

It would hardly be taking the boy away from his Mother

In the boys mind he will be, which was obviously my point.

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2 hours ago, Upnotover said:

Who owns the house?  Be careful with that one or it'll be gone.

Suggest you explore if there's any way to transfer ownership of the house, land, farm to your son. Thai children can own land. Perhaps this could connect into below #

 

Also, seek out a reputable knowledgeable lawyer see if it's possible for you to take some legal action to divorce her and at the same time you gain full custody of your son, and  # above part of the settlement is that your son gets the farm, land, house. I'm not saying this is possible/easily possible, just suggesting that it may be worth checking. 

 

I'm guessing if you take a case to gain divorce the judge may well ask for evidence of her gambling, therefore perhaps you should be keeping good financial records, including any evidence you can establish to prove her gambling, double payment of the money for son's school etc.

 

I'm no expert but my reading on this subject is that a very large % of gambling addicts never give it up completely. 

 

Good luck. 

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2 hours ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Yep, agreed. i've come to realise now that is the only way I will ever 'win' with my one.

i told my wife i would burn down our house back home and take the 3 years in jail for arson before ever giving her a penny. 

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1 hour ago, harrymcgarry said:

thank you everyone for the input, THE house and car were bought and built for the family (me, her and the child) so its no problem walking away from that its not an issue, she has no credit cards and the bank cards are all in my name and only amounts what I agree to transfer go in, her weekly allowance goes in from my bank every Friday . ( enough to live on with fuel for the car and be fairly comfortable). She was really sensible before and has totally changed to the point that she does not care also I think hormone problems aswell. I am constantly stressed over this situation and if it was not for the boy then I would not have an issue. I would be gone. thanks

Have you been registered as the legal father of the child ? You do not have to be married to do that. It will give you some level of leverage if you have to fight custody .... If you could. lets say 'prove' that she is unfit to be a mother ... Drinking / gambling / Prostitution .... 

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Posted (edited)
19 minutes ago, harrymcgarry said:

My job would be gone if I had to take custody and bring him to the UK. the house is next door to the grandparents who I see regularly when I am at home in Thailand. it is ok sitting in a condo on your computer shouting what to do, I posted so I did expect some bad feedback and that is no problem. I could just keep on giving her a weekly allowance and let her gamble it but I dont see why my son has to sit there all day in the gambling den while she plays cards, Its my son who I need to be taken to school everyday in the car and brought home by her and keep up his really good progression. He speaks Thai ,Isan and English and currently on to Chinese language now. I think  after all the excitement of becoming a mother to an absolute beautiful Farang looking boy who has been the star of the show for coming up to five years now and absolutely adored every where he goes she has becomed bored with it all but I maybe totally wrong. I just do not know what to do now. thanks for the response TV and best of luck too

As I said earlier OP, you are not going to take a single bit of 'advice' from here, you just wanted to get it off your chest, and that's fine.

 

No idea why so many are talking custody when you never even hinted at it. That would be a whole new world of trouble and red tape, and as you say it's not even practical anyway, as I fully assumed.  

Edited by Keyser Soze666

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