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18 minutes ago, harrymcgarry said:

I think  after all the excitement of becoming a mother to an absolute beautiful Farang looking boy who has been the star of the show for coming up to five years now and absolutely adored every where he goes she has becomed bored with it all but I maybe totally wrong

probably not wrong

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if you cannot get money from you, she will go to the mafia and the next thing you'll be getting a knock on the door this is bad news all round.

A friend of mine lost his successful pub in Pattaya because his wife gambled and borrowed off the mafia.

Gambling is the Asian disease.

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57 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Relationships with sex workers is difficult, if you want them to leave their work you have the pay them and you become their job, best avoided. I feel for the girls, it's not easy

Too much of a generalisation I reckon. 11 year relationship....some do change, believe me I know.

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3 minutes ago, Catkiwi said:

Too much of a generalisation I reckon. 11 year relationship....some do change, believe me I know.

I didn't suggest they don't change but what i said was correct. Did you pay your GF or wife a monthly wage?

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I feel you have 2 options, but before that, you have to take control of the family finances........ 

First let me explain, that I've seen 2 farangs in this situation in the last 10 years. 

Both ended up looking after the kid alone. 

1 took his kid back to the UK to start secondary school, and the other lives in my local town. I see him most weekdays taking his kid to and from school on a pushbike. 

 

Don't think that you can cure her of the addiction that no doubt you've been funding for the past how many years. 

What you have to do, is go to a lawyer, and have a document drawn up that you get full custody of your child, then pay her to sign it. 

You can still go on living with her if you feel that it's the thing to do, but if the child is yours, (custody) then you won't have a problem in the future, when the inevitable happens. 

 

The second option is to marry her. 

This might sound like a ridiculous suggestion, but without wedlock, you have absolutely zero parental rights in Thailand as a foreigner. 

I personally would go for option 1. 

Good luck, whatever you do mate, I feel for you. 

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I feel you have 2 options, but before that, you have to take control of the family finances........ 

First let me explain, that I've seen 2 farangs in this situation in the last 10 years. 

Both ended up looking after the kid alone. 

1 took his kid back to the UK to start secondary school, and the other lives in my local town. I see him most weekdays taking his kid to and from school on a pushbike. 

 

Don't think that you can cure her of the addiction that no doubt you've been funding for the past how many years. 

What you have to do, is go to a lawyer, and have a document drawn up that you get full custody of your child, then pay her to sign it. 

You can still go on living with her if you feel that it's the thing to do, but if the child is yours, (custody) then you won't have a problem in the future, when the inevitable happens. 

 

The second option is to marry her. 

This might sound like a ridiculous suggestion, but without wedlock, you have absolutely zero parental rights in Thailand as a foreigner. 

I personally would go for option 1. 

Good luck, whatever you do mate, I feel for you. 

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1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

I know lots of blokes here who have married girls that worked in bars and are happily married,

And i know a lot of blokes that have been fleeced by said bar girls for every penny they have got. 1 or 2 are now minus their manhood to boot... 

 

whats your point?

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1 hour ago, harrymcgarry said:

Thats a bit strong mate, I ended up with her after a good ten years of real fun with lots of girl friends and a rollercoaster life style. I am not an idiot and life has been wonderful for me ,her and obviously now our son. I think she is having a midlife crisis and at the age of 40 and good looking girl I doubt weather she can be bothered to go back to work in a bar especially with the young boy who never leaves her side. If you met us you would see a different picture . we are fairly well known aswell and this is going to be a shock to a lot of friends and family hence my real name is not on here. 

Midlife crisis is your excuse and you know

No your are not a idiot if you know you game you play, you have take the game and now you know the risk.

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Inflammatory posts, offensive posts and the replies have been removed. 

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If the originator of this post is still reading  I offer  my condolences  for  the situation.

As others have said  you come across as a person with some  genuine concern and integrity .

Having said that this and in the recognition of the fact that this  forum community is loaded  with more opinion than assistance in topics  such as this and that realistically there is only the presentation of your situation from one side it could  be less productive in putting your  case  for advice than  not .

After 11  years is this a more recent problem or one that  has more history than apparent here?

That is a  question that I do  not want answered to me but for yourself to  yourself.

Because so often the assumption of  no fault of self in denial of incremental actualities can culminate in a  <deleted>storm.

The  brutal truth is that more often than not the failure of a long term relationship is  not due to what  seems  obvious or one sided.

IMO avoid using  your son as a focus.

 

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13 minutes ago, Dumbastheycome said:

 

The  brutal truth is that more often than not the failure of a long term relationship is  not due to what  seems  obvious or one sided.

IMO avoid using  your son as a focus.

 

Yes fair point. Their problems are probably just more than her gambling, after so many years some couples just become bored and frankly sick of each other. Sometimes children are enough to hold things together, but sometimes not.

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Just now, JWRC said:

Women with this gambling addiction, don't use the banks, they get sucked in by the loan sharks, who charge far more interest than is legal, the women put the house up as collateral and of course can't make the repayments, because they have already gambled any winnings away. Usually the loan sharks get away with the high interest because to complain is putting you and your families life in danger. I have seen this happen to 2 friends, one woman lost an 8 million baht property, the players and the sharks set her up knowing that she had a foreign husband who was earning great money and had plenty of assets.

It's a very sad situation.

Loan sharks can't repossess a house.

The debt isn't real, or enforceable in law.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Always a mistake.

 

Maybe a mistake for you but usually ok unless you shack up with a bar girl.

 

43 minutes ago, Liverpoolfan said:

And i know a lot of blokes that have been fleeced by said bar girls for every penny they have got. 1 or 2 are now minus their manhood to boot... 

 

whats your point?

 

He also married a bar girl and feels the need to defend his position.

post 46.

Edited by twocatsmac

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