Tristan fedoff Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Hello everyone, I would like to know if i can go court against my exgirlfriend for blackmail or emotional blackmail, i not sure how to call that. She asks me for money in exchange for being able to see my daughter by camera or say if i not send money she will call police when i will go her home see my kid and i so send some to be able to see my kid (i guess that stupid) Before she was asking me money in exchange to no leave me while i was back my country for work and i of course stop to send after she doing it. There is solution to go court and asking money back or find way for she not doing it and let me see my kid? I have a lot of text that show evidence of my request. Thx in advance for any answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Kadilo Posted July 13, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 13, 2020 Stop sending her money. You will find it difficult to prove that she was blackmailing you even if you have texts. I can’t see how you will get any money back that you have already sent. I am sure there are legal channels you can go through to see your daughter. Good luck, sounds like you will need it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post kingofthemountain Posted July 13, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 13, 2020 Hi sorry to know you are in this very sad situation the rule n1 is never pay for blackmail, or you put your finger in an endless gear. I know it's more easy to say than to do, but it's the only way. The question is have you legal right on your child? i mean are you the real father with a test and a paternity certificate and so on? if yes i recomand you to contact a layer, and stop sending any money to the mother you must be prepared to not see your child during some times, because she is going to use it to try to do pressure on you. Also i recomand to cut all the link with the mother, phone, Line, FB... Don't let her contact you by anyway until you have sorted out this with a lawyer. And of course don't talk to her to your intention about the legal action. keep the surprise. Good luck and be strong 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimitriv Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 If you are really the father it is of course logical that you support your child. The best way to do this is by sending some money to the mother of your child. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Kadilo Posted July 13, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 13, 2020 4 minutes ago, dimitriv said: If you are really the father it is of course logical that you support your child. The best way to do this is by sending some money to the mother of your child. It’s not a logical situation otherwise I would agree. In his case he is just fuelling her greed and she is playing on his emotions. See how keen she is to keep playing that game without any money coming in. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofthemountain Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, dimitriv said: If you are really the father it is of course logical that you support your child. Yes i agree 10 minutes ago, dimitriv said: The best way to do this is by sending some money to the mother of your child. Depend really of the mother. In this specific case it seems the mother isn't a really good person. Very often unfortunately the child stays with the grandparents and the real ''mother'' give them the minimum to take care of the baby, Then the rest of the money (The biggest part) can be used by the single mom for an ''holiday life style'' in Pattaya or another city. Edited July 13, 2020 by kingofthemountain 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingdong Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 24 minutes ago, dimitriv said: If you are really the father it is of course logical that you support your child. The best way to do this is by sending some money to the mother of your child. how wonderfull it must be to live in a perfect world. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimitriv Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Kadilo said: It’s not a logical situation otherwise I would agree. In his case he is just fuelling her greed and she is playing on his emotions. See how keen she is to keep playing that game without any money coming in. We don't know the whole story. The first 2 replies both said to stop giving money... And that seems bad advice to me. If the mother has no money at all it will have bad consequences for the child. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timendres Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 18 minutes ago, dimitriv said: We don't know the whole story. The first 2 replies both said to stop giving money... And that seems bad advice to me. If the mother has no money at all it will have bad consequences for the child. "We don't know the whole story." First and only post needed for this thread. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post northsouthdevide Posted July 14, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 14, 2020 Keep all proof that you sent her money. You need to put her in court and apply for parental responsibility. The court will expect you to provide for your child, And will allow you visiting rights. Your ex won't be able to stop you from seeing your child as long as you keep up the payments that you agree on in court. The court is a family cour, where there is at least some emphasis on the child's welfare, and the agreement will be done through mediation, in a room with your ex and child, plus lawyers acting on your behalf, and normally a judge acting as mediator. In this type of environment, you'll find your ex to be a lot easier to deal with. Last piece of advice. Try to negotiate the bare minimum of payment, then you can spoil your child yourself, without having to hand it over to your ex. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tristan fedoff Posted July 14, 2020 Author Share Posted July 14, 2020 Thanks to anyone for all your advise Anything start when we decide to go my country for let my kid go to school there. Once i get back i find and started work and from the 25000 THB i should send everymonth for her and mykid start make paper while i back to make visa with her she asking me 50000 THB per month and start acting bad about money. She started to say if she not get that money she will go find new dad for my kid more rich and blablalbla and start saying my daughter is not my kid (my kid are declarate at the embassy, the re do not have paternity test but as her face there is no doubt, only a blind person can miss to see she is my daughter) - (5+ years i'm with that girl) And i stand like this 10 month until christmas, at christmass once i get the home in thailand she only asking me money for anything have to pay and the blackmail goes up, and she start saying she will not come my country if her family not finish paid. So i start understand there will be problem as money she asking me is pretty much for me, 50000 thb for thailand and i so have to make 35000/45000 more for can prepar stuff in my country. I think this is was just to using me before find way to kick me out by sayoing that i stop sending her money. Now its actually 3 month i stop send her any money and while that happen she open a shop, make new roof at home, buy gold, buy new tv, pay the school for my daughter without my support. I think they saved money i send and did like money was all time used every month and of course when i try talk about moeny with she or her parents, they not answer or change subject or even her mom hiding behind the phone to not answer, i asking question while calling my kid by LINE but they hiding and not answer anything or say they lazy to answer. Total unrespect, only to F... ME as well. I asked them why it's become like this as i work hard and do anything for all is being good, the only answer out from this question is i lied about to send them money everynonth as its 6 month i not send but its only 3 month. (just useless talking) Now when i try talk with my kid, i get insult and saying i will not see my daughter anymore as i not send money since 6 month (the true just 3 month) This month i was decide to send money as anyway its my kid, i think to send 10000 thb by 10000 and send it by western union and not bank transfer. Once i give her western union number and say its 10000 she only say if its not 80000 THB not need to send. Resume of this is - i know they using me that few last month only to get money, i know my ex will stay my ex as no way i back with kind of girl acting like this - but i love my kid and even front of my kid her mother call me dick or tell me to go <deleted>.. my self as i not send money. they use coronavirus to say i let my kid and my girlfriend die because not sending money since 6 month (true is 3 month). My only chance to get back something or getting some part good of what they doing now is i think to proove she blakcmail me money ofr this last 10 month and since 3 month she try again by using my kid as shield. That why my topic and need your advise of all and again thx for any quick answer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofthemountain Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 8 minutes ago, Tristan fedoff said: My only chance to get back something or getting some part good of what they doing now is i think to proove she blakcmail me money ofr this last 10 month and since 3 month she try again by using my kid as shield. That why my topic and need your advise of all and again thx for any quick answer Sorry i don't quote all your post it seems obvious her and her family are just trying to milk you as far as they can. To stop to send money was the good choice imo Don't expect to have any of your money back, it's not going to happen. Stay focused on what is the most important, and forget the blackmail and all the BS. Stop ALL contact with them, but send 5000 by western union every month for your child (It's more than enough and it's what most of the Thai people pay when someone else is taking care of the child). Keep all the documents with you as probe. When you will be able to return in Thailand, go straight to see a lawyer with all the documents and start a claim in court for having your father rights respected. You should also be clear with yourself about what you want or not i mean do you want to try to take your child live with you in your country? (Be prepared to a hard fight and you are not sure at all to win) Or do you just want to be able to see your child when you come in Thailand? (It should be much more easy to win in court on this one) Good luck again 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tristan fedoff Posted July 14, 2020 Author Share Posted July 14, 2020 2 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said: Sorry i don't quote all your post it seems obvious her and her family are just trying to milk you as far as they can. To stop to send money was the good choice imo Don't expect to have any of your money back, it's not going to happen. Stay focused on what is the most important, and forget the blackmail and all the BS. Stop ALL contact with them, but send 5000 by western union every month for your child (It's more than enough and it's what most of the Thai people pay when someone else is taking care of the child). Keep all the documents with you as probe. When you will be able to return in Thailand, go straight to see a lawyer with all the documents and start a claim in court for having your father rights respected. You should also be clear with yourself about what you want or not i mean do you want to try to take your child live with you in your country? (Be prepared to a hard fight and you are not sure at all to win) Or do you just want to be able to see your child when you come in Thailand? (It should be much more easy to win in court on this one) Good luck again The best i would like to proove that they blackmail me this money to get it and can see my child when i go thailand as i know i will can't have my kid back with me. So for sure instead to get any money back i want for sure fond the way to can see my daughter when i'm in Thailand. Thanks for any quick reply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofthemountain Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Tristan fedoff said: The best i would like to proove that they blackmail me this money to get it and can see my child when i go thailand as i know i will can't have my kid back with me. So for sure instead to get any money back i want for sure fond the way to can see my daughter when i'm in Thailand. Thanks for any quick reply You are welcome Don't stay focus on the blackmail problem, your main concern is to be able to visit your child when you come in Thailand. the 5000\month given idea is to prevent her to pretend you don't give anything for your child. Your ex gf needs to understand you are now in charge, and the only way is for you to stop to be the one who ask (Asking to see and to talk to your child) because as long as you ask, they want more money for give you what you are asking for. So give her 5000 every month by western union or bank to bank. keep the receipt as a proof you send money every month for your child, as you can put a writing on the bank or WU sending (Doesn't matter if she uses the money or not my bet is the money should be quickly used by her even if she pretends the opposite) Don't inform her about your acts or intentions, the best thing is to avoid any contact with her or her family, just send the 5000 bhts every month at the same date and stay silent. Wait the moment where you are back in Thailand annd your lawyer in Thailand contact her about the court claim it should be the moment for a game changer and you should be the one in the best position to negociate the conditions of your child visit. Untill this time don't try to deal or negociate with her or her family, it's totally useless, costly and probably counter productive. Just be strong and patient stay focus on your job and to save your money don't worry too much for your child, she is probably happy and taking care good by the Thai family, like most of the thai child. Edited July 14, 2020 by kingofthemountain 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tristan fedoff Posted July 14, 2020 Author Share Posted July 14, 2020 1 hour ago, kingofthemountain said: You are welcome Don't stay focus on the blackmail problem, your main concern is to be able to visit your child when you come in Thailand. the 5000\month given idea is to prevent her to pretend you don't give anything for your child. Your ex gf needs to understand you are now in charge, and the only way is for you to stop to be the one who ask (Asking to see and to talk to your child) because as long as you ask, they want more money for give you what you are asking for. So give her 5000 every month by western union or bank to bank. keep the receipt as a proof you send money every month for your child, as you can put a writing on the bank or WU sending (Doesn't matter if she uses the money or not my bet is the money should be quickly used by her even if she pretends the opposite) Don't inform her about your acts or intentions, the best thing is to avoid any contact with her or her family, just send the 5000 bhts every month at the same date and stay silent. Wait the moment where you are back in Thailand annd your lawyer in Thailand contact her about the court claim it should be the moment for a game changer and you should be the one in the best position to negociate the conditions of your child visit. Untill this time don't try to deal or negociate with her or her family, it's totally useless, costly and probably counter productive. Just be strong and patient stay focus on your job and to save your money don't worry too much for your child, she is probably happy and taking care good by the Thai family, like most of the thai child. Thanks for the advise i think i will go for it I think i will go for send between 5000 to 10000 THB everymonth and stay silent Again thanks, i have read few topic in the forum about relationship, divorce, child custody...etc. I see i'm not the only one to got that kind of problem. Best of all for all of you and wish you the best. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fredwiggy Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, kingofthemountain said: You are welcome Don't stay focus on the blackmail problem, your main concern is to be able to visit your child when you come in Thailand. the 5000\month given idea is to prevent her to pretend you don't give anything for your child. Your ex gf needs to understand you are now in charge, and the only way is for you to stop to be the one who ask (Asking to see and to talk to your child) because as long as you ask, they want more money for give you what you are asking for. So give her 5000 every month by western union or bank to bank. keep the receipt as a proof you send money every month for your child, as you can put a writing on the bank or WU sending (Doesn't matter if she uses the money or not my bet is the money should be quickly used by her even if she pretends the opposite) Don't inform her about your acts or intentions, the best thing is to avoid any contact with her or her family, just send the 5000 bhts every month at the same date and stay silent. Wait the moment where you are back in Thailand annd your lawyer in Thailand contact her about the court claim it should be the moment for a game changer and you should be the one in the best position to negociate the conditions of your child visit. Untill this time don't try to deal or negociate with her or her family, it's totally useless, costly and probably counter productive. Just be strong and patient stay focus on your job and to save your money don't worry too much for your child, she is probably happy and taking care good by the Thai family, like most of the thai child. Good answer. The money you've already sent was enough for months of child care. Thai's average pay is only around 11k a month. She is milking you for any and all you can send. 5000 to 7000 baht is more than enough for the child's food and drink, plus clothes. Make sure you record every baht you send, by either western Union or bank transfer, as he mentioned. Good luck. That's your kid, and your responsibility. A lot of Thai moms go to big cities and let grandma take care of their kids, so expect that will happen also. You care about your child and that's good. A lot just give up. Kids need a dad and a mom, and if the mom is a flake like this one is, the child needs you all the more to be in her.his life. Talk to Isaan lawyers if you need advice. Edited July 14, 2020 by fredwiggy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofthemountain Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 53 minutes ago, Tristan fedoff said: I think i will go for send between 5000 to 10000 THB the amount depend of the location and the usual spend for the child for a basic life in a small rural village it's between 3000 to 5000 in a big city it's between 5000 to 10000, depend if the school is public or private and a little bit more for Bangkok (Cost of transports and rent) The amount you decide to send every month need to be the same each month and at the same date, again for do it easy later for your lawyer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metisdead Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 An unhelpful troll post has been removed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tristan fedoff Posted July 15, 2020 Author Share Posted July 15, 2020 18 hours ago, fredwiggy said: Good answer. The money you've already sent was enough for months of child care. Thai's average pay is only around 11k a month. She is milking you for any and all you can send. 5000 to 7000 baht is more than enough for the child's food and drink, plus clothes. Make sure you record every baht you send, by either western Union or bank transfer, as he mentioned. Good luck. That's your kid, and your responsibility. A lot of Thai moms go to big cities and let grandma take care of their kids, so expect that will happen also. You care about your child and that's good. A lot just give up. Kids need a dad and a mom, and if the mom is a flake like this one is, the child needs you all the more to be in her.his life. Talk to Isaan lawyers if you need advice. 17 hours ago, kingofthemountain said: the amount depend of the location and the usual spend for the child for a basic life in a small rural village it's between 3000 to 5000 in a big city it's between 5000 to 10000, depend if the school is public or private and a little bit more for Bangkok (Cost of transports and rent) The amount you decide to send every month need to be the same each month and at the same date, again for do it easy later for your lawyer Thanks for any quick answer, this is help me as i still not let it go yet. (was little bit depress of that) I lived since 15 years in Thailand, it's really first time i got a problem like this. We all time see that happen to other but when its happen to our self it's pretty hard to stand it. It's 5 years totally lose and that was my first kid, i'm 37 years,. I can't hide there is a big case in the mind want to revenge as that too much i think but i will try to control it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofthemountain Posted July 15, 2020 Share Posted July 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Tristan fedoff said: Thanks for any quick answer, this is help me as i still not let it go yet. (was little bit depress of that) I lived since 15 years in Thailand, it's really first time i got a problem like this. We all time see that happen to other but when its happen to our self it's pretty hard to stand it. It's 5 years totally lose and that was my first kid, i'm 37 years,. I can't hide there is a big case in the mind want to revenge as that too much i think but i will try to control it. I can understand your feeling and it's why it's better actualy to stop any contact with your ex or her family, because nothing good can actually be sorted of it except insults and bad feeling on each parts. It's solve nothing, make everything worst for the future and everybody is unhappy with the result including your daughter. The story with your ex is over, but you and your ex stay parents of a child forever, and you need to keep that in mind. Only time can soothe pain and anger, be confident and patient stay focus on the most important, your child (And for this you can not say the 5 years were a totally lose, because your first and only child is the most important thing in a life imo and from my experience) act and think everything in the way of only the child interest. Don't think too much about all the issues and problems you can not fix at the moment wait the day you can go back to Thailand and keep your mind busy with your work or sport or whatever. Stay positive and strong you can also ask the help of your family and friends or even a therapist if you feel down. regards 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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