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how do you tell a thai girlfriend i don't want her 18 year son living with us


yeahbutif

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1 minute ago, robblok said:

Its still family and not every 18 year old has to leave home. I did not leave home till i was 24 or so. I was studying and not forced to leave. Where I come from 18 does not mean you get kicked out. 

 

Also family remains family and its just stupid of the OP to think he can make his GF choose. It won't end well. 

I suppose that depends on the desired result and how he approaches the subject.

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4 minutes ago, yeahbutif said:

do you compleatly know if they have kids had heard they turn up out of the blue ,,, like meet my son ..or my sons got a job near by and moving in ,,,,,, 

First time I never knew out of the blue all of a sudden 2 daughters had to live with me in the Netherlands. Can't say I was happy at first. I should have known. Did take care of them for 4 years and now they are still really dear to me. They live in Europe and I live here. They come to visit me in Thailand at times.

 

But after that first time I never wanted that to happen again so I just checked before. 

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Buy him a place or rent him a place where he would like to live,  pretty straight forward really or it will be you that's what you want him to do,  and wouldn't blame her either you nasty piece of work. 

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2 minutes ago, n00dle said:

I suppose that depends on the desired result and how he approaches the subject.

It looks like he wants to keep his gf and just get rid of the son. That probably wont happen. To have a mother choose between a guy and her kids is not a smart choice to force upon someone. It will end with resentment. IMHO it will damage the relationship.

 

He could try but should understand this is potentially a relation ending thing. If the risk is worth that then sure go for it. 

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6 minutes ago, yeahbutif said:

do you compleatly know if they have kids had heard they turn up out of the blue ,,, like meet my son ..or my sons got a job near by and moving in ,,,,,, 

May be i can ask where do you live?

Who is the owner of the house ? Or if you rent who is the tenant

(I mean on the paper, i don't ask who give the money)

Also can i ask your age and the GF age? Does she works ?

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7 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

He's only 18. I didn't leave home until I was 22. As long as he has a job and is not sponging off his mom. Then maybe he needs a break? If no job and no interest in a job then he's around for a while. Unless you help him find a job or get him some training or as has been said join the army. Etc etc. Then you have to explain that you will not bankroll him anymore.

Blood is thicker etc.. she'll likely pick him over you. 

 

We are in Thailand! My village they get "married" 14-16 years old! Not legal all know that but it happens!

Kids get baby's here like in western world! 18 is adult here , depens where you live all kids work whit family, girls make home work and boys help dad in farm! If money enough they put they kids in university! If not idiot parents all want better they kids! And almost all want be coverment officers!

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18 minutes ago, yeahbutif said:

do you compleatly know if they have kids had heard they turn up out of the blue ,,, like meet my son ..or my sons got a job near by and moving in ,,,,,, 

It aint happening

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35 minutes ago, KarenBravo said:

How about explaining that the son is now a man at 18 years old and he needs to make his own way in the world?

They are far from men at 18,, they don't stop sleeping in the same room as their mother until they are about 13 or 14.

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Covid is now being used by businesses all over the world, as a "get out of jail" card,

 a convenient excuse for no (or poor) service, and to generally shirk all responsibilities.

I suggest you do the same.

 

 

If you stay, and want rid of the boy, you will soon be asked to fork out for University fees, to save him from the army conscription.

 

In any case, there will always be something you will be asked to fork out for.

 

I reccomend you disappear and blame Covid or the Thai governments Immigration policies,

otherwise all your money will disappear slowly and you have to go home anyway.

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Over a three year's together I would have thought this topic, the son's future and your living lifestyle, would have been discussed from time to time. Setting expectations, including future expectations, is part and parcel of most long-term relationships. If you haven't yet, NOW is the time to have those discussions. Don't have to consider "throwing him out" out immediately but if you both see eye-to-eye on the topic, you can make a plan to move on. If you don't see it the same, that is when you will have to consider your options.

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19 minutes ago, pookondee said:

Covid is now being used by businesses all over the world, as a "get out of jail" card,

 a convenient excuse for no (or poor) service, and to generally shirk all responsibilities.

I suggest you do the same.

 

 

If you stay, and want rid of the boy, you will soon be asked to fork out for University fees, to save him from the army conscription.

 

In any case, there will always be something you will be asked to fork out for.

 

I reccomend you disappear and blame Covid or the Thai governments Immigration policies,

otherwise all your money will disappear slowly and you have to go home anyway.

Today in another thread someone told my I should understand the irony.

With your comment I wonder if what you write is irony - or maybe not?

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