orang37 Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 Sawasdee Khrup, Well, maybe not your antidote for seasonal affective disorder SAD ... after all, you may be singing "sittin' on top of the world," far from any equatorial depression, roosting in that transiently trans-cultural ecstatic zone within Amazing Thailand you might call "My Own Private Idaho." Is "thinking about leaving" a more fruitful train of thought than ... thinking about ... haiku ? How many cars are between your locomotive and your caboose ? Here's a clean wall, an air brush, the paint, the tools you need to make stencils ... to let loose: in three lines, one of which is 7 syllables, two of which are 5 syllables. I'll throw this in the pot for starters: mango season memories, in dark October: keep a heart alive ความทรงจำฤดูมะม่วง ตุลาคมที่มืด รักษาหัวใจไว้ cheers, ~o:37; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 9 minutes ago, orang37 said: in three lines, one of which is 7 syllables, two of which are 5 syllables. That applies to Japanese language. We English speakers may be forgiven for not being so circumscribed. I miss the Thai winter it was pleasantly cool, but now I suffer the cold air 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orang37 Posted October 30, 2020 Author Share Posted October 30, 2020 5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said: I miss the Thai winter it was pleasantly cool, but now I suffer the cold air you are our first winner ! p.s. all suggestions for structure are made tongue-in-cheeky on this forum where the nominal thread topic is usually a goal-post that moves as egos and libidos take their turns rewriting the rules of the game. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canthai55 Posted October 31, 2020 Share Posted October 31, 2020 All this useless talk Hot air from a cold heart Be Water 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orang37 Posted October 31, 2020 Author Share Posted October 31, 2020 Songkran night 2020 i'm waiting for the full moon to break through the clouds: damn loud firecrackers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orang37 Posted October 31, 2020 Author Share Posted October 31, 2020 14 hours ago, canthai55 said: All this useless talk Hot air from a cold heart Be Water You are absolutely a winner, and, please accept the opinion of someone who has been immersed in poetry for over 65 years that there is real depth in your work. Hope you'll forgive my munging your text slightly to fit a 7-5-5 syllabic pattern: This useless conversation, Hot air from cold hearts: So, be the Water ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canthai55 Posted October 31, 2020 Share Posted October 31, 2020 I think, therefore I am Or do I think I am ? Endless circle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Lefty Posted October 31, 2020 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Orange Clown of Death Vanquished on November 3rd Happy sings the heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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