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Who pays on the first date?

 

Where i come from it's a big  no no for the woman to offer to pay anything on the first date.  Second date you can offer to buy them a drink but paying on a first date especially if they ask you is seen as offensive and can possibly turn guys off.  

 

I earn 2 or 3 times more, I'd rather go grateful and humble than trying to show off or take over.  So now I don't know whether I should offer to pay or just let him take care of it.

 

I'm white, he's Thai.

 

Worth mentioning is i want to take things slow, I am only interested in building on a friendship first and see where things go.  I've been single for 3 years by choice and this is the first guy that I can honestly see myself with, but tip toeing, one toe in at a time.  When I mean slow, I mean really slow.

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I always keep it balanced...If I buy dinner she gets movie--or vice versa.....I never allow any "leverage" so it never comes up in future arguments....or if you want a shared relationship or a one sided one

 

Some here opt to pay as they go......I earn love--I dont pay for it...money buys goods and "services"..ahem

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So you can feel relaxed, and given your earnings,  I would recommend paying your way.  He'll probably get the gist of how you are feeling.

If he feels strongly about paying you could let him pay on the  first date.  Then you can push to pay your way, or for both, after that. 

He can pay for the odd cheaper date e.g. movies  but you could help with more expensive nights at nice restaurants etc. Depends on his ego and his confidence.

Sometimes I think paying for everything becomes a bore and it would be nice to have the tables turned from time to time. He might feel the same.  

Edited by Fat is a type of crazy
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Simple , begin as you intend to go on. Set boundaries, explain your reasoning for EQUALITY and retaining independence within a supportive relatonship as it develops .

 

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I don’t think there should be an automatic presumption on the woman’s part that the man pays on the first date. It’s not that unusual nowadays for the woman to earn more than the man. If you like the guy then at the end of the evening offer to pay and tell him he can pay on the next date ... if he then offers to pay then suggest going 50/50. I wouldn’t let someone pay who earned a great deal less than me.

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And off the rails the OP goes.  To Answer the question it should be split as you pay for yourself and he pays for his. Build on it from there if it is slowly moving from friendship to who knows where and good luck.  

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A  first date for lunch or dinner:

 

Thai Food Menú;

Noodles and Kao pad... You pay.


A second date:

 

Falang food Menú;

Appetizers, Cheeseboard, Australian Ribeye Steak, Spanish red wine Bottle,  Mix salad, Coffee and Tiramisú... He pay.

 

Third date... He will disappear of your life.

 

 

Edited by Tarteso
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